Difference between revisions of "Saxton Hale/zh-hant"
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| − | == | + | == 顯著成就 == |
[[File:Saxton.png|right|thumb|250px|Artwork depicting Saxton Hale.]] | [[File:Saxton.png|right|thumb|250px|Artwork depicting Saxton Hale.]] | ||
| − | * | + | * 在"靈長地獄"中創出他的道路. |
| − | * | + | * 教導他的女童軍隊"薩克斯頓埃特斯"和防火提示，例如 "燃燒灰熊". |
| − | * | + | * 當在剪頭髮的同時和一隻獅子打鬥. |
| − | * | + | * 以單手殲滅印尼狂暴鯊魚(還讓牠們哭了). |
| − | * | + | * 從偷竊烏龜手中取回一個被盜取的冰球儘管這是''{{w|Zeno%27s_paradoxes|30分鐘先聲奪人}}''. |
| − | * | + | * 發明了 [[瓶手道]],基於瓶的空手道. |
| − | * | + | * 成為西半球最富貴的人. |
| − | * | + | * 成為第四位世界最富貴的人. |
| − | * | + | * 從直升機上投下燃燒彈於{{w|Woodstock Festival|胡士托音樂節}場地. |
| − | * | + | * 在沒方法的情況下參與了喬 [http://www.teamfortress.com/war/saxtonhale/poopyjoe.htm 美國太空猴噗皮．喬]的爆死, 在那時候並不在任何接近發射場的地方. |
| − | * | + | * 傳入[[合成]] 系統到[[紅隊]]和[[藍隊]]努力去阻止一場[[戰爭！更新|戰爭]]發生. |
| − | * | + | * 印刷一本特別發行的雜志(價格一本二十仙,即使這本來就是免費的)去回答一些由他的支持者的問題, 其中包括其它事項、在Mac上遊玩"[[絕地要塞2]]''。 |
| − | * | + | * 發現了網絡的存在並開始了[[曼恩商店]]. |
| − | * | + | * 購買了英格蘭. |
| − | * | + | * 擁有一個完全並絕對真實薩克斯頓海爾事實網頁. |
| − | * | + | * 在AnagramYourName.com.上殺死了行為反常者。 |
| − | * | + | * 主辦[[第一屆薩氏金像獎]]. |
| − | * | + | * 發明了"擊掌". |
| − | * | + | * 吃掉了整隻鴕鳥. |
| − | * ' | + | * '屠殺'了1593名醫生. |
| − | * | + | * 在一場[http://www.darkhorse.com/Blog/746/dark-horse-vs-round-5-winner 人氣比賽]中擊敗了Dr. McNinja. |
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Revision as of 04:43, 12 April 2014
| “ | I'll beat them to death with my bare hands!
|
” |
Saxton Hale is a daring Australian, President and CEO of Mann Co., and the star of many comics series. He is considered the fourth richest man in America. He was the sixth richest man in America, but surpassed the fifth by wealth and the fourth by killing him in a harpoon duel. His favorite pastimes include fighting, drinking, and battling with ferocious animals. In fact, most kids sleep with a teddy bear at night, but Saxton Hale sleeps with an actual bear that he tamed while in the Brazilian Jungles. His identifying features include a mustache, rippling muscles, a crocodile-tooth lined hat, and a patch of rotating chest hair shaped like Australia. He also refuses to wear clothes on his upper body "for obvious reasons".
Saxton is the most current male of the Hale family to take up the reins of Mann Co. since Zepheniah Mann left its ownership to loyal aide and tracker Barnabas Hale in his last will and testament. His boisterous presence is felt in all areas of the company, from the slogan "We sell products and get in fights" to Gorilla Wrestling Fridays – his attempt at employee morale building. He also fills out customer forms with tick-boxes to either intimidate any product-thieving rivals or commend new inventors submitting a new product idea to him. His inspiring image is also featured on numerous Mann Co. catalogs and promotional materials. He is known (and feared) for his belief in handling customer service issues personally, with his official policy being: "If you aren't 100% satisfied with our product line, you can take it up with me!"
內容
顯著成就
- 在"靈長地獄"中創出他的道路.
- 教導他的女童軍隊"薩克斯頓埃特斯"和防火提示，例如 "燃燒灰熊".
- 當在剪頭髮的同時和一隻獅子打鬥.
- 以單手殲滅印尼狂暴鯊魚(還讓牠們哭了).
- 從偷竊烏龜手中取回一個被盜取的冰球儘管這是Template:W.
- 發明了 瓶手道,基於瓶的空手道.
- 成為西半球最富貴的人.
- 成為第四位世界最富貴的人.
- 從直升機上投下燃燒彈於{{w|Woodstock Festival|胡士托音樂節}場地.
- 在沒方法的情況下參與了喬 美國太空猴噗皮．喬的爆死, 在那時候並不在任何接近發射場的地方.
- 傳入合成 系統到紅隊和藍隊努力去阻止一場戰爭發生.
- 印刷一本特別發行的雜志(價格一本二十仙,即使這本來就是免費的)去回答一些由他的支持者的問題, 其中包括其它事項、在Mac上遊玩"絕地要塞2。
- 發現了網絡的存在並開始了曼恩商店.
- 購買了英格蘭.
- 擁有一個完全並絕對真實薩克斯頓海爾事實網頁.
- 在AnagramYourName.com.上殺死了行為反常者。
- 主辦第一屆薩氏金像獎.
- 發明了"擊掌".
- 吃掉了整隻鴕鳥.
- '屠殺'了1593名醫生.
- 在一場人氣比賽中擊敗了Dr. McNinja.
Mann Co. comics
| Issue | Comic Info |
|---|---|
Saxton Hale's
|
Saxton Hale's Mail Storm had its first and only issue published in March 1964 to help explain the new Federal recall of all 36 million Gold Coast-Tweed personal apple corers, due to their tendency to not only core apples, but fingers, lamps, and small furry animals. When the government demanded the comic be issued for free, Mann Co. responded by raising its usual price of twelve cents an issue to twenty, reasoning that if anyone was going to get something for free, they were going to pay for it. |
|
| |
Saxton Hale's Mildly Thrilling Tales |
As the youth movement of the 1960s escalated, manufacturers produced fewer and fewer products for the elderly. By 1963, only four items remained: hats, meat, caskets, and Saxton Hale's Mildly Thrilling Tales. Naked from the forehead down, lying in their coffins gumming Salisbury steak, an entire generation of despondent, forgotten consumers was left with just one thing on which to spend their government checks: Hale's tepid, senior-friendly tales of modest suspense. Saxton Hale Visits His Mother Monthly and Soothing Stories of Familiar Things soon followed. Hale quickly became the wealthiest man in the Western Hemisphere. |
|
| |
Girl's Adventure Starring Saxton Hale |
Boy's Adventure with Saxton Hale came under fire from the Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency in 1968 for teaching boys aged 6-16, among other things: moral turpitude, arson, vandalism, hippie assault, tax fraud, at-home laryngectomies, car theft, gorilla slaughter, and the Heimlich Maneuver (which had just been invented and was still considered controversial). Pressured by the Senate, Mann Co. changed the name to Girl's Adventure With Saxton Hale, as it was commonly thought at the time that girls couldn't do anything, so any lessons taught to them would be harmless. |
|
| |
Saxton Hale's
|
Saxton Hale's Barbershop Action capitalized on the brief "haircut" fad of the early 60s. Its breakaway success would lead to the ancillary titles Saxton Hale's Barbershop Romance and Haircut Horrors Starring Saxton Hale's Ghost. By Issue #40, however, the Peacenik movement had gripped America in its filthy, tangled mane, and haircut fiction saw a steep decline. This would be the start of a lifelong feud between Hale and hippies, which would culminate in his firebombing Woodstock from a helicopter. |
|
| |
Saxton Hale's
|
Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl debuted in the U.S. in 1962, riding a wave of anti-gorilla sentiment following Russia's successful launch of the first monkey, Vladimir Bananas, into space. America's rage was not isolated to communist primates; that same year, monkeynaut Poopy Joe cruelly dashed the U.S.'s hopes of reaching the stars when its shuttle detonated on takeoff. Brawl was notorious for inflaming human-gorilla tensions during its ten-year run, most famously in issue #50, which was printed with gorillas' blood. Issue #50's print run of 17 million copies left only five gorillas on the planet. |
|
| |
Saxton Hale's
|
Saxton Hale's Thrilling Tales first arrived on newsstands in 1961 as part of a bold Mann Co. initiative to sidestep an increase on postage costs for their weapons catalogs. The first 64-page issue contained four pages of thrilling tales and sixty pages of ads for exciting new Mann Co. products. But Thrilling's editors quickly discovered that showing Mann Co. founder Saxton Hale using a product in the story itself tripled its sales. Ads were cut to 32 pages to accommodate longer, product placement-based stories. |
|
|
Apple
During the Mac Update, a non-canon comic was released that contained Saxton Hale. In this comic, Saxton Hale smashes through the Apple store's window, as he proclaims that he is going to burn the store to the ground. Saxton picks up a nearby device, presses a button, and then blows up the Moon with the Apple store's product ("iBlewupthemoon"). The product impresses Saxton so much that he decides to purchase the company. However, a figure in a black sweater (presumably Apple CEO Steve Jobs in his trademark turtleneck) appears and declines the offer. Saxton instantly recognizes the man and insults his curvy designs. The comic ends with the title of the next issue When Titans Clash.
Hale mail
The lucky few who sent in the Force-A-Nature order form[1] received an invoice from Saxton Hale himself, sadly informing them that the requested item was out of stock. For compensation, the sender received a signed photo of Saxton Hale standing in front of Template:W with the words "Thanks for writing, little fella!" and a keychain featuring a random Team Fortress 2 class. The letter also advised to keep an eye on their mailbox, as new products could be on the way.
Yet more lucky senders who mailed in the coupon[2] received a letter bearing the Mann Co. logo and the snarling face of Saxton Hale. Inside was a letter informing the recipient that the requested product(s) were out of stock and that they should continue to check their mailbox as new items/legislation could be on the way, as well as several postcards bearing random cover images from the Mann Co. comics.
At this point, Valve asked players not to send any more money due to legal reasons. Valve donated the money they had received to Template:W.
Letter from the Force-A-Nature giveaway; notice the Scout keyring.
A close up of the invoice; at the time of release, the Ambassador had not yet been announced.
Letter from Saxton Hale containing the comic postcards.
Letter from Hale again, this time addressing the creator of the "Guard Dog Update" as seen in the blog entry here.
Related merchandise
Trivia
- Saxton Hale's Thrilling Tales is illustrated by comic artist Template:W.
- Saxton Hale occasionally makes posts on the TF2 Official Website.
- Saxton Hale's name is an anagram for a sexually explicit phrase that Valve may or may not have originally intended, as referenced in the Mann-Conomy Update.
- Saxton Hale is implied to have been in a relationship with the Administrator some time ago, referring to her as a "chain-smoking seductress" and being on first name terms with her.
- Saxton Hale has had a river named after his family.
- In Template:W, Saxton Hale makes a cameo appearance as the Ace of Spades in the Team Fortress 2 deck of cards.
- A server mod called VS Saxton Hale allows one player, taking on the role of Saxton Hale on the BLU team, to fight against the rest of the players, who are all on the RED team. And, rather ironically, he is most of the time equipped with strange fists that have reached the rank of "Hale's Own".
- Saxton Hale's chest-hair changed shape into a Christmas tree during Australian Christmas.
- Saxton Hale sent a letter to all Team Fortress 2 and Spiral Knights players on Steam requesting that the player go on a mission to reach the first Clockwork Terminal in Spiral Knights, in which if the player does, it leads to unlocking the Spiral Sallet hat.
- Saxton had a moustache by the age of one, as seen in the poster for the Manniversary Update.
- A child dresses as Saxton Hale during the Bombinomicon comic, in which the RED Heavy intimidates him until he cries.
- While it is said that Saxton sleeps with a bear that he tamed on the Brazilian Jungles, there aren't any kind of bears of any species on Brazil.
See also
References
- ↑ http://www.teamfortress.com/scoutupdate/force-a-nature.htm The Scout Update - Day 5
- ↑ http://www.teamfortress.com/sniper_vs_spy/day04_english.htm The Sniper vs. Spy Update - Day 4
External links
- The Sniper vs. Spy Update - Day 4 (First appearance)
- The Sniper vs. Spy Update - Day 7 (Jarate)
- TF2 Official Website - Sniper vs. Spy Update: Day 7
- TF2 Official Website - Patent Pending: #1308: "GUARD DOG"
- TF2 Official Website - It's a Bloodbath!
- TF2 Official Website - Team Fortress News Roundup
- War! Comic - Saxton Hale
- Saxton Hale Facts website
- The Mann-Conomy Update
