User:Focusknock/page quotes

Scattergun - Yeah, come get some, ya frickin' wuss! - The Scout

FaN - Any outdoorsman will tell you the most frustrating part of hunting is when a deer simply FALLS DOWN when shot, and doesn't FLY BACKWARDS into the forest. — Force-A-Nature publicity blurb

Shortstop - don't usually kill morons this fast. — The Scout

Pistol - Bang! I make it look easy! — The Scout

Bonk! Atomic Punch - Bonk! is fulla radiation, which as we all know is pretty great for givin' people superpowers. — Bonk! Atomic Punch publicity blurb

Critacola - Dere ain't enough crits in the world ta kill me! — The Scout

Mad Milk - Drink it in pal! That's how failure tastes! — The Scout

Lugermorph - Who wouldn't want to squeeze off a couple rounds with the murder weapon of choice of a sociopathic cartoon rabbit? Probably quite a lot of people, when you get right down to it. Luckily, those people are all well-adjusted contributors to society with no police records, spotless credit ratings and few unresolvable moral failings. They also probably have no interest in playing TF2, so that means more murder-rabbit gun shooting for the rest of us. — Official Description

Bat - Pop Quiz: How long's it take to beat a moron to death? BAM! Sorry, time's up: you're dead! — The Scout

Sandman - Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hitcha. No, wait, yeah I did! — The Scout

Holy Mackeral - Eat it, fatty! — The Scout

Home Run - Home-frickin'-run! — The Scout

Rocket Launcher - I joined this team just to kill maggots like you. — The Soldier

Direct hit - A high precision version of the standard-issue rocket launcher, the Direct Hit has been engineered from the ground up for Soldiers who have mastered the art of shooting at their targets instead of vaguely near them. — Direct Hit publicity blurb

Black Box - Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! — The Soldier

Rocket Jumper - And that is how you do it, men! — The Soldier on proper rocket-to-foot measurements

Shotgun - Son, I'm gonna blow that dumb look right off your stupid face. — The Engineer

Buff Banner - Admit it: Every so often, you suspect you’re carrying your team. . . How about motivating those lazy sons of bitches to put on their war face and fight? — Soldier Update blurb

Gunboats - What is the science behind these miracles of technology? Magic, probably.— Gunboats publicity blurb

Battalion Backup - Need some help here! — The Soldier

Shovel - If I have to crack some skulls, I will. — The Soldier

Equalizer - Get close enough to death, and you will become Death himself. — Equalizer publicity blurb

Pain Train - ...gonna take down to the pain train station in train town. — the Demoman

Frying Pan - I will eat your ribs, I will eat them up! — The Soldier

Kamikaze - C'mere, pumpkin. — The Soldier on pick-up lines

Flamethrower - Huddah huddah huh! — The Pyro on extreme cooking

Backburner - Mmmmmmmrrrrrrrpppghhh! — The Pyro on rump roasting

Degreaser - Mmmph mph mmrph! — The Pyro

Flare Gun - Mmpph mmhhmmpph mmhmmp mmf mfh!! — The Pyro

Fire Axe - Murr hurr mphuphurrur, hurr mph phrr. — The Pyro on axe killing sprees

Axtinguisher - This mighty axe guarantees critical hits on any enemy that’s currently on fire, although it’s significantly weaker against enemies who aren’t. — Axtinguisher publicity blurb

Homewrecker - Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit!! — The Engineer on Pyro's new weapon.

Powerjack - Mmmphya harrgh mrgha hrghgph! — The Pyro on customized tools

Hadouken - Hudauda, huuudha!!! — The Pyro while performing Hadouken.

Grenade Launcher - KA-BOOM! — The Demoman

Stickybomb Launcher - Ye appear to 'ave trodden on a mine! — The Demoman

Chargin' Targe - “If I were to pick up this cowering-plate, I would have to put down my second sword,” a Scotsman thinks. “And surely that is madness.”

The Chargin’ Targe solves this riddle by turning the useless shield into a deadly weapon you can run at people with and then bludgeon to death. — Close Combat Kit publicity blurb

Scottish Resistance - Get your thinking pants on, because the Scottish Resistance is the thinking Demoman's sticky bomb launcher. — WAR! Update blurb

Sticky Jumper - t's a fine thing, lads, heheh. — The Demoman on Sticky Jumping training techniques.

Bottle - Imagine if I hadn't been drunk! Ah heh. — The Demoman

Eyelander - You don’t kill a man by mucking about with rifles, arrows, rocks, or other long-distance rubbish.

You kill him by grabbing the biggest bloody sword you can find, running up nice and close to him, and chopping the dumb bastard’s head off. — Close Combat Kit publicity blurb Scotsman's Skullcutter - I hope I didn't scare ya with my face-to-face MAN fighting! — The Demoman on common courtesy

HHHH - See? I told ye they were a buncha' wee lasses! — The Demoman

Decapitation - There can be only one! ...Eye... — The Demoman

Minigun - She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute.

It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon... for twelve seconds. - The Heavy

Natascha - All will fear my giant new gun. — The Heavy on Natascha

Sandvich - What was that, Sandvich? "Kill them all"? Good idea! HAHAHAHA! — The Heavy

Dalokohs Bar - That vas delicious! — The Heavy

Fists - My fists, they are made of STEEL! — The Heavy

KGB - Is not fair to use gun on such a tiny man. — The Heavy

GRU - Run home to momma! — The Heavy

Showdown - POW! Ha ha! — The Heavy