Non-player characters

Non-player characters are those characters in the Team Fortress 2 setting which are not one of the nine playable classes. While most are uninvolved in gameplay (with the exception of the Administrator and the Ghost of Zepheniah Mann), they still add extra background to the Team Fortress 2 setting.

The Administrator

See Administrator.

Miss Pauling

File:Miss Pauling.jpg

Miss Pauling

“

Miss Pauling: You know, forgetting for a minute that we don't condone friendship, it's sort of... Almost.... Uh... Reprehensible. Totally and completely reprehensible. The Administrator: We are in agreement, Miss Pauling. — 'The Administrator'

”

Miss Pauling is a loyal assistant to the the Administrator. She performs a number of duties including reporting unusual background checks, ordering and delivery of goods and opening communication channels. It was during a routine background check that Miss Pauling discovered the RED Demoman and BLU Soldier's friendship, which she then brought to the Administrator's attention. Miss Pauling generally complies with her employer's views for fear of incurring her wrath, even if she does not necessarily agree with them. When pressed by the Administrator on what exactly friends do, her reply was "Um. Go skating...look at gun catalogs....sometimes we just talk..." She insists the Administrator is "not so bad when you get to know her."

Under the Administrator's orders, she personally delivered a number of highly volatile custom-order Mann Co. weapons to the Soldier and Demoman in exchange for separately agreeing to kill one another.

Mrs. DeGroot

Mrs. DeGroot

“

Yer da walked fifteen miles in the rain to blow up the Queen of England for a Nickel! — Demoman's Mother on the Family Trade

”

The Demoman's Mother, Mrs. DeGroot, is a blind, elderly woman who reminisces constantly about the Demoman's late father. Even with her son's multi-million dollar salary and mansion, she still thinks he does not work hard enough, claiming that the Demoman's Father would be spinning in his grave at his idleness and had 26 jobs. She insisted on bringing up the Demoman Scottish, and does not like to see him "squandering his gifts."

She, along with the Demoman's father, collected the young Tavish from the Crypt Grammar School for Orphans, revealing themselves as his true parents. They explained that he was abandoned at birth until his skills manifested themselves, a longstanding, cruel, and wholly unnecessary tradition among the Highland Demolition Men.

Saxton Hale

See Saxton Hale.

Scout's Mother

The BLU Scout's Mother

“

BLU Scout: "What're you? President of his fan-club?" BLU Spy: "No... that would be your mother!" — Meet the Spy

”

The Scout's Mother is briefly mentioned and shown in Meet the Spy. She raised the Scout and his seven "mad-dog" brothers in South Boston and somehow, still managed to keep her figure. She is in a romantic relationship with the RED Spy who lovingly calls her 'ma petite chou-fleur' (French, lit. 'My little cauliflower', although a more accurate English translation would be 'My sweetheart'). The BLU Scout was apparently shocked to learn of this relationship, though his actual feelings on the matter are unknown as he was in fact the RED Spy disguised as the BLU Scout at the time. The Scout's Mom wears a classic late 60's style dress and hairstyle. In her photo appearance, she wears only blue clothing, so it could be assumed that the RED Scout's mother probably wears red in theme with her son's team color as well. Seven compromising photos of her and the RED Spy are kept in a top secret file labeled 'Scout's Mom' in the BLU base. She is notably the only female character yet to be modeled, assuming the Pyro is male. The Spy had a likeness of her engraved on the barrel of the Ambassador.

Sniper's Parents

“

I'll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it. — The Sniper on being a sniper

”

The Sniper's parents were first mentioned in Meet the Sniper. The Sniper, being a dutiful son, makes sure to keep in touch with his parents via phone or mail to inquire about their well-being and keep them up to date with his latest adventures and exploits. Living in the Red House on the Left on Adelaide St. in Australia, the Sniper's parents do not approve of his occupation. The Sniper's dad is especially condemning, calling the Sniper a "crazed gunman," against the Sniper's insistence that he is an "assassin." In a bid to bring the arguments to an end, the Sniper wrote to his mom asking her to just tell his dad about how he makes more than a doctor. Then he decides to tell his mom to tell his dad that he is a doctor now.

Zepheniah Mann and Company

From left to right: Barnabas Hale, Blutarch Mann, Zepheniah Mann, Mann's maidservant Elizabeth and Redmond Mann. A mysterious man is also seen just out of shot on the far right side.

Zepheniah Mann was a wealthy Englishman who was convinced by his dimwitted sons, Blutarch and Redmond, to purchase large areas of land in frontier America. He dreamed of turning the land into large pits of gravel for weapons manufacturing. On his journey over to see his newly purchased land, he was struck with almost every illness known to man, and was shocked to find his new land was an empty and useless desert. Eventually, he left a Last Will and Testament on his own skin, which had sloughed off his body due to illness:

• To his maidservant Elizabeth he left his estate, including all deeds, accounts and debts, his tobacco plantation and the remains of his fortune. Elizabeth bears a striking resemblance to Helen, the Administrator.
• To his aide and tracker Barnabas Hale (ancestor of Saxton Hale) he left complete control of Mann & Sons Munitions Concern.
• To his "brain defective" sons, Blutarch & Redmond, he left a partnership. All of the new land they had convinced him to buy was now to be split evenly between them, so they would now have a reason to bicker endlessly. Blutarch and Redmond are still alive using a "Life Extender Machine"
• The final entry of his will is hidden, reading only as: "Lastly to... I leave the entirety of my.... and swear you to utmost secrecy in it's keeping." The figure to whom it is directed is mysteriously obscured from the family portrait.

His will also leaves a curse to anyone who should use firearms near his grave, stating that he will deliver a haunting unlike any ever seen.

True to his word, the ghost of Zepheniah will appear periodically on the event version of Harvest where he is buried, wearing his Ghastly gibus hat. Any players who stray too close will flee in fear for several seconds, unable to jump or attack, similar to being stunned by the Sandman. He was first mentioned in the Halloween Update, as well as the above Will.

Gentle Manne of Leisure

The Gentle Manne of Leisure and his Companione

“

A-ha-ha! You are as PRESUMPTUOUS as you are POOR and IRISH. Tarnish notte the majesty of my TOWER of HATS. — The Gentle Manne of Leisure

”

The Gentle Manne of Leisure is an English Victorian, who is rich enough to buy a tower of hats. He goes around and tells the peasants they are poor and Irish. He travels around the streets with his companion. The Gentle Manne of Leisure walks around with a tuxedo, a cane, and his most prized possession; his tower of hats.

He was first shown and referenced in the Classless Update.

Shakespearicles

Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived

Shakespearicles was the strongest writer who ever lived. He was the inventor of the two-storey building, the stage play, America and the Rocket Launcher. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip—most tragically among them, stairs.

For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them, which was rocket jumping. This persisted until 1857, when the young bearded inventor named President Abraham Lincoln invented stairs.

He was first referenced in the WAR! Update.

Trent and Jessica

File:TrentJessica.jpg

Trent and Jessica

“

...and the bullets biodegrade once they hit flesh, leaving nothing behind but a blog post. — Trent explaining Apple's advances in the minigun market

”

Trent and Jessica are two young fellows (and, according to the Soldier, hippies) who work at the Apple store located just outside Dustbowl.

They offered items for sale to the RED Scout and Heavy, specifically a very small looking, yet identical headset for the Scout, and a white, black, and blue Minigun whose bullets add kills to the user's killcount on his blog. (If the user does not have a blog, the gun is programmed to create one.) They also managed to impress the RED Soldier by instantly cooking a pig with a device plugged through a firewire port. Jessica also explained Apple's newest product, the iBlewupthemoon, to Saxton Hale, impressing him and leading him to attempt to purchase the company.

Blutarch and Redmond Mann

File:Blutarch Mann.png

Blutarch Mann at his desk.

Blutarch Mann is son of Zepheniah Mann and owner of BLU. He has been in a lifelong fued with his brother, Redmond Mann, over who should control the vast lands left to them by their father. Appropriately enough, Blutarch was the aggressor in the situation, and had hired 9 mercenaries to do his dirty work for him. Not surprisingly, Redmond had done a similar task in a nearly symmetrical fashion.