Difference between revisions of "User:Kibblekip/Sandbox/The Days Have Worn Away/Transcript"

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(Transcribed pages up to 234)
(Transcribed remaining pages)
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'''Saxton Hale''': '''''Fine!''''' I'll get my company back without her! Jerry! Whose plane is that?
 
'''Saxton Hale''': '''''Fine!''''' I'll get my company back without her! Jerry! Whose plane is that?
  
'''Jerry''': No idea, sir. Looks empty.
+
'''Jerry''': No idea, Sir. Looks empty.
  
 
'''Saxton Hale''': Well, we killed a lot of people here today, Jerry. Probably one of theirs. Fire it up! We're heading to Mann Co! Come on, fists, we've got a plane to catch and then crash.
 
'''Saxton Hale''': Well, we killed a lot of people here today, Jerry. Probably one of theirs. Fire it up! We're heading to Mann Co! Come on, fists, we've got a plane to catch and then crash.
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'''Miss Pauling''': Hey! '''''Hey!''''' You stupid half-naked idiot! That's '''''ours!'''''
 
'''Miss Pauling''': Hey! '''''Hey!''''' You stupid half-naked idiot! That's '''''ours!'''''
  
'''Jerry''': There's a hysterical woman screaming at us from the tarmac, sir.
+
'''Jerry''': There's a hysterical woman screaming at us from the tarmac, Sir.
  
 
'''Saxton Hale''': Ha! That's a good one. Alright, my turn. I see... there. That cloud looks like a '''''tiger!'''''
 
'''Saxton Hale''': Ha! That's a good one. Alright, my turn. I see... there. That cloud looks like a '''''tiger!'''''
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'''Voice''': ["Sorry to keep you waiting."]
 
'''Voice''': ["Sorry to keep you waiting."]
  
[''The scene flashes back to the past, the voice revealed to be a [[ginger-haired maid]] answering the door to a woman with purple hair and a long smoking pipe — [[Non-player characters#Elizabeth|Elizabeth]]'']
+
[''The scene flashes back to the past, the voice revealed to be a ginger-haired maid — [[Non-player characters#Patience Meriweather|Patience Meriweather]] answering the door to a woman with purple hair and a long smoking pipe — [[Non-player characters#Elizabeth|Elizabeth]]'']
  
'''Maid''': How can I help you?
+
'''Meriweather''': How can I help you?
  
 
'''Elizabeth''': I'm here about the job.
 
'''Elizabeth''': I'm here about the job.
  
'''Maid''': That can't— how did— I was just heading to the newspaper to purchase an ad for the position.
+
'''Meriweather''': That can't— how did— I was just heading to the newspaper to purchase an ad for the position.
  
[''Elizabeth walks in uninvited, passing the now bewildered maid'']
+
[''Elizabeth walks in uninvited, passing by the bewildered Meriweather'']
  
 
'''Elizabeth''': Well. A stroke of luck for both of us, then. Now you don't have to. Please go get the master of the house.
 
'''Elizabeth''': Well. A stroke of luck for both of us, then. Now you don't have to. Please go get the master of the house.
  
'''Maid''': The lady of the house died recently, you see. We're in need of—
+
'''Meriweather''': The lady of the house died recently, you see. We're in need of—
  
 
'''Elizabeth''': A governess, yes, thank you, I'm all caught up. Please go get the master of the house.
 
'''Elizabeth''': A governess, yes, thank you, I'm all caught up. Please go get the master of the house.
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'''Zepheniah''': ''"Dear The Mayor of Paris." My name is Zepheniah Mann. You will remember I purchased Rodin's The Thinker from you." "I have been chiseling its face to match '''my''' face, but now the head is too small and misshapen." "It doesn't look anything like I'm thinking anymore. It just looks like I'm on the toilet and scared."''
 
'''Zepheniah''': ''"Dear The Mayor of Paris." My name is Zepheniah Mann. You will remember I purchased Rodin's The Thinker from you." "I have been chiseling its face to match '''my''' face, but now the head is too small and misshapen." "It doesn't look anything like I'm thinking anymore. It just looks like I'm on the toilet and scared."''
  
[''He lowers the chisel to his side, the maid appearing behind him and standing in the hallway'']
+
[''He lowers the chisel to his side, Meriweather appearing behind him and standing in the hallway'']
  
 
'''Zepheniah''': Meadowes, I '''''do''''' look scared to be on the toilet, don't I?
 
'''Zepheniah''': Meadowes, I '''''do''''' look scared to be on the toilet, don't I?
  
'''Meadowes''': Terrified, sir.
+
'''Meadowes''': Terrified, Sir.
  
'''Maid''': <small>''Mister Mann? Sir?''</small>
+
'''Meriweather''': <small>''Mister Mann? Sir?''</small>
  
 
'''Zepheniah''': ''"I have enclosed another check. Send another statue with a normal sized body but a very large head, ASAP."''
 
'''Zepheniah''': ''"I have enclosed another check. Send another statue with a normal sized body but a very large head, ASAP."''
  
'''Maid''': <small>''Sir?''</small>
+
'''Meriweather''': <small>''Sir?''</small>
  
[''He turns angrily to face the maid'']
+
[''He turns angrily to face the Meriweather'']
  
 
'''Zepheniah''': ''"Yours in etc etc, Zepheniah Mann—"'' '''''WHAT IS IT?'''''
 
'''Zepheniah''': ''"Yours in etc etc, Zepheniah Mann—"'' '''''WHAT IS IT?'''''
  
'''Maid''': There— there's someone at the door for you, sir.
+
'''Meriweather''': There— there's someone at the door for you, Sir.
  
 
'''Zepheniah''': I see. Is it that woman standing directly behind you?
 
'''Zepheniah''': I see. Is it that woman standing directly behind you?
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'''Zepheniah''': That was not a question. I would prefer to keep this professional. You start immediately. I will provide you a letter of introduction. Meadowes. A letter.
 
'''Zepheniah''': That was not a question. I would prefer to keep this professional. You start immediately. I will provide you a letter of introduction. Meadowes. A letter.
  
'''Meadowes''': Yes sir.
+
'''Meadowes''': Yes Sir.
  
 
'''Zepheniah''': ''"Dear baby [[Non-player characters#Blutarch and Redmond Mann|Blutarch]] and baby [[Non-player characters#Blutarch and Redmond Mann|Redmond]]. I hope this letter finds you well. The woman standing before you—"''
 
'''Zepheniah''': ''"Dear baby [[Non-player characters#Blutarch and Redmond Mann|Blutarch]] and baby [[Non-player characters#Blutarch and Redmond Mann|Redmond]]. I hope this letter finds you well. The woman standing before you—"''
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[''Outside, it is revealed they are at a building simply named 'Saloon and Inn'. A wooden sign boarded infront of the saloon's entrance reads 'Mercenaries Welcome''']
 
[''Outside, it is revealed they are at a building simply named 'Saloon and Inn'. A wooden sign boarded infront of the saloon's entrance reads 'Mercenaries Welcome''']
  
[[Teufort (city)|Teufort]], New Mexico. 27 years later.
+
[ [[Teufort (city)|Teufort]], New Mexico. 27 years later. ]
  
 
'''Elizabeth''': Let me see it.
 
'''Elizabeth''': Let me see it.
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[''She leans in closer, whispering into Zepheniah's ear. He turns pale as his eyes widen, before they slowly fade to white. Elizabeth lights a cigarette as she takes the will, packs her belongings and exits, leaving the now-deceased Zepheniah Mann on the bed'']
 
[''She leans in closer, whispering into Zepheniah's ear. He turns pale as his eyes widen, before they slowly fade to white. Elizabeth lights a cigarette as she takes the will, packs her belongings and exits, leaving the now-deceased Zepheniah Mann on the bed'']
  
Mann Manor. One year later.
+
[ Mann Manor. One year later. ]
  
 
[''Elizabeth awakens with a smile to sunlight coming through the window, a painting of a dramatic interpretation of her final moments with Zepheniah hung above the bed. She is depicted in a blue and white frilly dress with a red cloak while wielding a sword, one of her shoes planted firmly against Zephaniah's face. She exits to a garden shed for gloves and shears, trimming roses from the various graves in the courtyard, then plucking their petals one-by-one. While holding the newly-beheaded roses, she approaches a small grave covered in even more headless roses with the initials 'Z. M.' inscribed, and smiles gleefully'']
 
[''Elizabeth awakens with a smile to sunlight coming through the window, a painting of a dramatic interpretation of her final moments with Zepheniah hung above the bed. She is depicted in a blue and white frilly dress with a red cloak while wielding a sword, one of her shoes planted firmly against Zephaniah's face. She exits to a garden shed for gloves and shears, trimming roses from the various graves in the courtyard, then plucking their petals one-by-one. While holding the newly-beheaded roses, she approaches a small grave covered in even more headless roses with the initials 'Z. M.' inscribed, and smiles gleefully'']
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'''Administrator''': It was worth it.
 
'''Administrator''': It was worth it.
  
[''She leans over on the floor, now holding Zepheniah's body as Miss Pauling and the mercs watch them. One by one, the mercs leave as the Administrator and Zepheniah slowly turn to dust infront of Miss Pauling. The scene cuts back upstairs to the break room as Miss Pauling walks in — dust staining her dress and trailing behind her, as she places the Australium rock and her bag upon the table and sits down, the yellow glow of the Australium lighting up her weary eyes. Engineer places a glass of water on the table infront of her'']
+
[''She leans over on the floor, now holding Zepheniah's body as Miss Pauling and the mercs watch them. One by one, the mercs leave as the Administrator and Zepheniah slowly turn to dust infront of Miss Pauling. The scene cuts back upstairs to the break room as Miss Pauling walks in — dust staining her dress and trailing behind her, as she places the Australium rock and her bag upon the table and sits down, the yellow glow of the Australium lighting up her weary eyes. Engineer places a glass of water on the table infront of her, then sits down as well'']
  
 
'''Engineer''': It's yours now. What are you gonna do with it?
 
'''Engineer''': It's yours now. What are you gonna do with it?
  
 
'''Miss Pauling''': I don't know.
 
'''Miss Pauling''': I don't know.
 +
 +
'''Engineer''': Guess you know the big secret now. Never was about takin' over the world for her. Wasn't even about revenge. Not by the end, anyhow. By the end it weren't about nothin'. Bu it '''''could''''' be. Could be about whatever you thought she was doing.
 +
 +
[''Miss Pauling's eyes widen, still lit by the glow of the Australium rock'']
 +
 +
'''Engineer''': Could be '''''you''''' doin' it. Could be you doin' any damn thing you want.
 +
 +
[''He picks up the Australium rock and holds it infront of him'']
 +
 +
'''Engineer''': Nickel's worth of advice? Go find Soldier's cave.
 +
 +
'''Miss Pauling''': Yeah...?
 +
 +
'''Engineer''': Make sure you mine every last ounce out of it. Make sure you get it '''''all.''''' Put it on a boat. Sail out to the middle of the ocean. And drop it down the deepest trench you can find.
 +
 +
[''He places the Australium rock back on the table before getting up to leave'']
 +
 +
'''Engineer''': But it's your call, Flo.
 +
 +
[''Miss Pauling picks up the Australium rock and stares silently into it as Engineer exits the room'']
 +
 +
'''Engineer''': If you keep it... I ain't gonna help you. And you oughta know that you won't '''''never''''' be free of it. And I mean maybe '''''really''''' never.
 +
 +
'''Miss Pauling''': Engie.
 +
 +
[''He turns back to see Miss Pauling walking out of the room, bag on shoulder'']
 +
 +
'''Miss Pauling''': You know any deep trenches?
 +
 +
[''Engineer returns a smile'']
 +
 +
'''Engineer''': I might know a few.
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': ["...and just when we all thought the fridge in the break room was fixed after all..."] ["...it made another '''''brrrddt''''' noise."] ["The Engineer walked back into the room. To fix the fridge? No, he walked right past it. Why?"] ["I'm afraid the answer to that question is a story for another time."]
 +
 +
[''The scene shifts back to Soldier and Merasmus, now sitting side-by-side tied to chairs, with a blue light overhanging them. Soldier has blood coming from his bottom lip'']
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': The end.
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': Oh, thank Go—
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': '''''Epilogue!''''' The next day, Miss Pauling and the Engineer came and took all of the gold out of my savings cave. And '''''that...''''' is why I had to borrow money from the Korean Mafia in your name.
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': But why did you '''''need''''' that much money?
 +
 +
[''Soldier pulls out a [[:File:Hidden-Pages Family Portrait 2.png|portrait of the Mann family]], his thumb obscuring the middle of the photograph'']
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': I am glad you asked. It starts with this photo.
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': Wait, your '''''hands''''' are untied? You could have freed us at any time? We're being '''''tortured,''''' Soldier!
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': Ha! You call this torture?
 +
 +
[''The scene pans out to reveal the [[Korean Mafia]] around them in a warehouse, as well as Merasmus' abused corpse in a third chair next to Merasmus' ghost, revealing he died during Soldier's story'']
 +
 +
'''Mafia Boss''': We do call it that, yes. Perhaps there is a language barrier? We are torturing you. We've been torturing your friend while you talked. He's dead now.
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': "Dead?" Ha! Merasmus, they can't see you! Quickly! Fireball them before they torture me!
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': Yes! I just need to get my spectral hands out of these astral bindings! '''''Stall''''' them, Soldier!
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': You got it! Hey you Koreans! I heard you're '''''terrible''''' at torturing!
 +
 +
[''Merasmus glances at him in dismay'']
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': Soldier! I meant stall them '''''away''''' from torturing you!
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': Ah. That is '''''not''''' the rock I just pushed down this hill.
 +
 +
'''Mafia Goon''': Who told you this? Our torture style is known throughout the lands!
 +
 +
'''Mafia Boss''': Kenzi! Torture this man!
 +
 +
[''Kenzi — wearing a bloodstained scrub suit, and the Mafia goon — wearing a yellow shirt and pants, begin to approach Soldier and Merasmus'']
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': Merasmus, hurry! I think they're about to torture somebody!
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': ''Alllmost...''
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': You guys are in for some sorcery now! Quick, Merasmus! Unleash hell!
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': Soldier, my ghost hands are still—
 +
 +
[''Kenzi puts the pliers in Soldier's mouth, grabbing a tooth, while the goon holds Soldier's head back'']
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': ''You're embarrassing me in front of my friends, Merasmus.''
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': I can't, Soldier. I'm sorr—
 +
 +
[''Before Merasmus can finish, loud '{{font colour|FFCD30|'''''WHAM'''''}}' sounds can be heard, as Kenzi pulls out one of Soldier's teeth. The scene changes abruptly to a jungle in the past, as a giant sloth bursts through a stone door with the same '{{font colour|FFCD30|WHAM}}' sound'']
 +
 +
'''Giant Sloth''': '''ROOOAAAAR!'''
 +
 +
[''The angle shifts to a young Saxton Hale and Maggie tied to stone pillars, as well as Saxton Hale's former mentor [[Non-player characters#Charles Darling|Charles Darling]], of whom is wielding an usual looking horn'']
 +
 +
'''Darling''': ...it can't be... ...the door of summoning was supposed to '''''trap''''' it...
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Well, it didn't. You've got five seconds before that thing eats all of us! You're first because you're smallest. Then Maggie, then me.
 +
 +
[''Darling stands behind the stone pillars as he begins to untie them'']
 +
 +
'''Darling''': Yes. Yes, let me untie y—
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Or maybe he'll break all your bones and save you for later! Eat us first and make you watch! Then he'll eat your limbs! You'll just be a crying stump, Darling. You'd better untie us or—
 +
 +
'''Darling''': I am '''''trying''''' to untie you!
 +
 +
[''Saxton Hale and Maggie both get free, preparing to fight the giant sloth'']
 +
 +
'''Darling''': There! You're free! Now '''''fix this!'''''
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Stand back, pee wee.
 +
 +
'''Darling''': Wait! There's something you must know!
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': That's where you're '''''wrong,''''' Darling! There is '''''nothing''''' I need to know! I've got two fists and my best girl! So you just keep quiet back there, and we'll—
 +
 +
'''Maggie''': Uh, Sax...
 +
 +
'''Giant Sloth''': <big>'''''{{font colour|FBB238|ROOAAAGH}}'''''</big>
 +
 +
[''Suddenly the giant sloth's head and neck light up with orange feathers, and with glowing green eyes fires lasers that destroy the surrounding stone pillars with a loud '{{font colour|5BCA5D|ZZZZARRRPPP}}' sound, then grabs Darling by the arm'']
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Holy hell, that's new.
 +
 +
'''Darling''': That's what I've been trying to tell you! This is no '''''normal giant sloth!''''' It's the '''''Megatherium''''' of '''''Mictlan!''''' Protector of the Aztec Underworld!
 +
 +
'''Giant Sloth''': '''ROOAAAR!'''
 +
 +
[''Saxton Hale and Maggie group up together'']
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': <small>''Okay, Darling's an idiot and he's summoned a monster from Aztec Hell. What do you think we should do, Mags?''</small>
 +
 +
'''Maggie''': <small>''Well, the way I figure it, Sax...''</small> If he blew '''''into''''' that dumb trumpet to bring that thing here... maybe a second toot sends it back!
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Ha! Mags! That's just crazy enough to work!
 +
 +
[''The giant sloth now holds Darling into the air, as Maggie picks up the horn'']
 +
 +
'''Darling''': It's not crazy enough! It won't work! You must blow the summoning horn '''''three times''''' in quick succession!
 +
 +
'''Giant Sloth''': '''''Rrrr...'''''
 +
 +
'''Maggie''': Hey, ugly! Sorry to '''''horn in''''' on—
 +
 +
[''Darling is now held above the giant sloth, his head now shoved inside of its mouth with a '{{font colour|F9EA75|GLMMPH}}' sound'']
 +
 +
'''Darling''': I wasn't finished! Now that you've gotten the beast's attention, breathe in through your nose while simultaneously pushing air out through your mouth! This is '''''circular breathing!''''' It will produce a continuous drone sound that—
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': I've got a better idea! '''''Hey! Monster!''''' How about you swallow that appetizer...
 +
 +
'''Maggie''': ...and come get '''''dinner!'''''
 +
 +
'''Darling''': Wait! Spit out the appetizer!
 +
 +
'''Voice''': ["Sir?"]
 +
 +
[''The scene shifts to Saxton Hale — now with a thick beard — in his office, looking up at the head of the giant sloth. His assistant [[Non-player characters#Mr. Bidwell|Bidwell]] is present'']
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Sir? We need you to sign off on the documents you signed off on yesterday.
 +
 +
[''The view pans out to reveal Saxton Hale in his office, the giant sloth now a stuffed trophy stationed near him, and Bidwell standing nearby wearing a blue suit, holding stacks of papers. The desk is littered with various bottles and cans'']
 +
 +
[ Present Day (1979) ]
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': I hate this place, Bidwell.
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Not this again. You got what you wanted, Sir. You got Mann Co back. You sound like Olivia.
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Olivia?
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Gray Mann's daughter. She took over Mann Co from you. And then you stormed back in seven years ago and took it back.
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Oh right. Whatever happened to her?
 +
 +
[''The angle shifts to reveal Olivia in a small chair and desk next to Saxton Hale's chair and desk. The small desk also has a handful of bottles sitting atop it'']
 +
 +
'''Olivia''': Still here.
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': ''Ohhhh,'' right. Sorry, it's hard to see your tiny desk from up here.
 +
 +
[''She kicks up a leg onto her desk and starts drinking from a bottle'']
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Sir, we really shouldn't be letting her drink.
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Ah, come on, Bidwell. It's just the little airplane bottles.
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Sir, she's fourteen.
 +
 +
'''Olivia''': Why '''''shouldn't''''' I drink, Bidwell?
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Because you are fourteen.
 +
 +
'''Olivia''': Ever since I was a baby, I was part of my stupid Dad's stupid world takeover. I don't want to run a company! I hate it here!
 +
 +
[''She gets up and approaches one of the many stuffed trophies in Saxton Hale's office'']
 +
 +
'''Olivia''': All we do is sell guns to stupid morons and sit in this stupid room with all these stupid stuffed animals!
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Those are Mister Hale's trophies, Olivia. He worked '''''very''''' hard to fight all those—
 +
 +
'''Olivia''': Like a '''''billion years''''' ago! Everything in this '''''room''''' is a trophy! If you got a new one, where would you even '''''put''''' it?
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': She's right. Olivia?
 +
 +
'''Olivia''': '''''What?'''''
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': You're fired.
 +
 +
[''She turns back to face him, her expression shifting from one of frustration to happiness'']
 +
 +
'''Olivia''': Really?
 +
 +
[''She runs up to Saxton Hale, of whom is now standing, and gives him a hug. The angle shifts to the open office doors'']
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Go live your life. Make your own trophies.
 +
 +
[''She leaves and walks down the hallway, as Saxton Hale watches behind her with a smile'']
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Sir, she is a child and you are her guardian. You can't let her leave. That's actually illegal.
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Right, I got carried away. Keep an eye on her. Set up a trust. Anything she wants to do. Make sure she can do it. Bidwell?
 +
 +
[''He puts a hand on Bidwell's shoulder'']
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Sir?
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': I'm fired too. Mann Co's yours.
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Sir, I— I couldn't possibly...
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Alright, your loss. [[Non-player characters#Mr. Reddy|Reddy?]]
 +
 +
[''Bidwell freezes up, as Reddy approaches from behind a stuffed bear he was polishing wearing a red suit, carrying a bucket labelled 'Bear Polish''']
 +
 +
'''Reddy''': Yes Sir?
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': You own Mann Co now.
 +
 +
'''Reddy''': Yes Sir.
 +
 +
[''Saxton Hale begins to exit the office as Bidwell and Reddy watch'']
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Goodbye, Reddy.
 +
 +
'''Reddy''': Goodbye, Sir.
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Goodbye, Bidwell.
 +
 +
'''Bidwell''': Um. Maybe we could both co-own...?
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': You two work out the details. That little girl was right. I need some new trophies. And I know just the gal to help me get 'em.
 +
 +
[''The scene cuts back to Heavy breaking through the doors of the building Soldier and Merasmus are being held in with a '{{font colour|F57A40|'''''SMASH'''''}}' sound, carrying [[Minigun|Sasha]] with him. He now has a thick black beard'']
 +
 +
'''Heavy''': '''{{font colour|E4C93D|RRRRRRRAGGGGHH!}}'''
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': Oh, hi, Heavy. Look, Merasmus! It's the communist I used to work with. I'm married to his sister. [[A Cold Day in Hell|Our story begins in Siberia where a giant hot dog and I tracked—]]
 +
 +
'''Mafia Boss''': Well, aren't we blessed beyond measure. Here I thought we'd only get to torture two Americans today... and now we have three.
 +
 +
[''A red laser appears on the Mafia Boss' chest, the laser coming from the [[Sniper Rifle|Sniper's rifle]], stationed on an upper floor of the warehouse'']
 +
 +
'''Mafia Boss''': Ah. I see.
 +
 +
'''Heavy''': So. We are at an impasse.
 +
 +
'''Mafia Boss''': And I'm afraid it may be too late for negotiation. We've already killed one of your colleagues.
 +
 +
[''Heavy silently looks at Merasmus' battered corpse for a brief moment'']
 +
 +
'''Heavy''': I do not know who that is.
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': It's my best friend! Dead Merasmus!
 +
 +
[''Heavy puts his hand to his chin as he recollects his thoughts'']
 +
 +
'''Heavy''': ''Oohhhh.'' This is the old witch woman who tried to kill us on Halloween for many years. I remember now.
 +
 +
[''His face returns to a neutral expression'']
 +
 +
'''Heavy''': I do not care.
 +
 +
'''Mafia Boss''': Ah! We don't either. Excellent. What we '''''care''''' about is this one. The one who is not dead. He owes us 12,000 won. Nobody leaves until the debt is cleared.
 +
 +
'''Heavy''': 12,000 won. That is... seventeen U.S. dollars. You captured these men from a maximum security prison, flew them to Gwangju and tortured them to death... for seventeen dollars.
 +
 +
'''Mafia Boss''': Naturally. We have a reputation to consider. If the Korean Mafia would do all that for seventeen dollars... ...imagine what our enemies believe we would do for '''''real''''' money.
 +
 +
[''Heavy pulls out his wallet'']
 +
 +
'''Heavy''': Can you break a twenty?
 +
 +
[''The Mafia Boss also pulls out a wallet'']
 +
 +
'''Mafia Boss''': ''Hmm...'' I cannot. It seems we are once again at an impa—
 +
 +
'''Heavy''': Just keep it.
 +
 +
[''Soldier, now free from his chair, begins to leave'']
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': Okay, Merasmus, I have to go now. Have fun haunting this Korean drug factory.
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': What? No! Soldier, don't leave me here!
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': What do you want me to do? You got killed '''''here,''''' Merasmus. Now you've got to haunt it for all time. I don't make the rules. It's ghost law.
 +
 +
[''Merasmus grabs a brick and holds it up'']
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': '''''Wait!''''' I could haunt this brick! Here! Put it in your pocket!
 +
 +
[''Soldier takes the brick, turning to Kenzi, of whom is packing his tools and preparing to leave'']
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': Hey, guy who tortured me. Can I have this brick?
 +
 +
'''Kenzi''': Are you going to hit me with it?
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': I don't think so.
 +
 +
'''Kenzi''': Then sure.
 +
 +
[''Soldier places the brick in his back pocket, Merasmus now haunting it'']
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': There. But now we're even.
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': '''''Even?''''' Soldier, you broke into my home and '''''killed''''' [[Non-player characters#Tom Jones|Tom Jones]]! Then you framed '''''me''''' for the murder! Then let me rot in a '''''jail cell''''' for seven years! Then let me get '''''tortured''''' and '''''killed''''' by the Korean Mafia! <big>'''HOW ON ''EARTH'' ARE WE ''EVEN?'''''</big>
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': Tell you what. Why don't we go grab a brick from your house I burned down after I killed Tom Jones.
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': You burned down my '''''house?'''''
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': I was wanted for '''''murder''''', Merasmus. Stay with me here. Son, I'm saying we can go back to your house and grab a '''''brick...''''' ...and you and Tom Jones can '''''both''''' live in my pants forever. Whataya say?
 +
 +
[''Merasmus stares at him with a mildly irritated expression as they leave, with Heavy and Sniper waiting for Soldier to catch up'']
 +
 +
'''Merasmus''': Alright, fine.
 +
 +
'''Soldier''': Good, that's settled. Now let's get out of here before someone sees me. I'm wanted in Korea for murder.
 +
 +
[''The scene changes to Spy in a coat and scarf standing infront of a mailbox, with the surnames 'Willis-Mitchell', 'Willis-Graham', and 'Willis-Gibson' on the side — most of the names striked out, with only the last 'Willis' left unstriked. Spy takes out a letter from the full mailbox, addressed from the city of Teufort, NM to 'Jeremy Willis' of 10027 Lynn Street, Boston, MA'']
 +
 +
[ One week later. ]
 +
 +
[''Spy makes his way towards the door of the house, where he's greeted by Scout and four children. Scout is wearing a jumper and has long hair'']
 +
 +
'''Scout''': ''Hey-y-y-y!'' Look who it is, kids!
 +
 +
'''Spy''': Hello, Jeremy.
 +
 +
[''Spy enters, hanging his coat on a rack next to the door. The house is thoroughly decorated thoroughly with festive ornaments. Various family photographs are hung up on the hallway walls depicting Scout, his children, and [[Non-player characters#Scout's mother|his mother]]'']
 +
 +
'''Spy''': I apologize. Am I early?
 +
 +
'''Scout''': Nah! I mean, you're the first one here, so a little. But this is the first one of these we've ever done, so I say you're right on time. Come on in!
 +
 +
'''Spy''': Oh my goodness. So many children. These are '''''all''''' yours?
 +
 +
'''Scout''': Hell yeah they are. My boys can swim. My girls too. We all just got back from the pool. Guys! Go take those swimsuits off, you're gettin' water everywhere!
 +
 +
[''They enter a living room, with stockings hung above a fireplace and a Christmas tree in the corner, bent over due to it being too tall for the room'']
 +
 +
'''Spy''': Is... your wife home?
 +
 +
'''Scout''': Them? Nah. None of them deadbeats are in the picture currently. I'm raisin' these on my own.
 +
 +
'''Spy''': Yes, but '''''how?''''' You can't possibly have a job. We don't officially '''''exist.''''' I burned your fingerprints off myself.
 +
 +
'''Scout''': ''Psh'' That's easy. I sued the city!
 +
 +
'''Spy''': You sued...
 +
 +
[''Scout lifts his jumper, revealing many stitches and scars, as well as a Tom Jones tattoo'']
 +
 +
'''Scout''': The city of Teufort! I broke my leg like six times out there, my arm about a dozen, like thirty concussions. I don't even think I've got kidneys anymore. Or maybe I got too many? Point is, I know I look good, but trust me, I'm a '''''mess''''' on the inside. They '''''owe''''' me!
 +
 +
'''Spy''': We were '''''murdering''''' people out there. For '''''years.'''''
 +
 +
'''Scout''': I know! That's how I broke my arm!
 +
 +
'''Voice''': Daddy! Daddy!
 +
 +
[''They turn to face one of Scout's children — a little girl with a pink sparkling skirt — holding up a broken tiara'']
 +
 +
'''Scout''': What is it, Tanya?
 +
 +
'''Tanya''': Tommy broke my tiara! I can't be a princess now!
 +
 +
'''Spy''': Tanya, hello.
 +
 +
'''Tanya''': Who are you?
 +
 +
'''Spy''': I am your...
 +
 +
[''He hesitates, then smiles'']
 +
 +
'''Spy''': Father's friend. From work. Tanya, do you know what is even '''''better''''' than a princess?
 +
 +
'''Tanya''': What?
 +
 +
[''He takes off his mask, then gives it to Tanya, of whom responds with an excited expression'']
 +
 +
'''Spy''': A princess '''''assassin.'''''
 +
 +
[''Tanya puts on the mask — too big for her head — and runs around excitedly. Spy's face is revealed for the first time, showing him with dark hair and a light stubble'']
 +
 +
'''Spy''': You have a lovely family, Jeremy.
 +
 +
'''Scout''': Thanks! You should come by more often, you're '''''great''''' with 'em! Hold on, I think they're here!
 +
 +
[''Scout goes to the fron door, where he is greeted by Demoman, [[Non-player characters#Mr. & Mrs. DeGroot|his mother]] and the [[Non-player characters#Eyelander|Eyelander]]. Further down the street Soldier and Zanya can be seen as their children run across the front yard, as well as [[Non-player characters#Heavy's family|Heavy's sisters and mother]] exiting a van. Sniper's camper van can also be seen parked on the road'']
 +
 +
[''The scene changes to inside, as Heavy comes through the frontdoor with a large wrapped-up turkey. Multiple pictures taken through the day are shown, with a photo of Sniper removing his glasses, a photo of Pyro watching the fire with Scout's children, a photo of Medic's chimpanzee, [[Non-player characters#Archimedes|Archimedes]] and [[:File:RingofFired66.png|the Dalmation from the Maws & Paws animal hospital]], a photo showing Heavy holding up the turkey with a label reading 'Bonk Farms' 'This MegaTurkey™ Courtesy of Ms. P', a photo showing Spy smoking while holding a wine glass and looking at one of Scout's hung-up pictures, and Scout coughing after having a drink, as Ms. DeGroot slaps his back and Heavy's mother laughs'']
 +
 +
[''Suddenly, the doorbell rings with a '{{font colour|CCCAA6|DING DONG}}' sound as Scout goes to answer'']
 +
 +
'''Scout''': You guys go ahead and start, I'll be right there!
 +
 +
[''The view changes to the reader's point-of-view as Scout opens the door with a smile'']
 +
 +
'''Scout''': Oh hey! It's '''YOU!''' Get in here, you big dummy.
 +
 +
[''They enter the house'']
 +
 +
'''Scout''': Nah, we're just startin'! I even saved ya a seat.
 +
 +
[''The reader walks alongside Scout down the hallway'']
 +
 +
'''Scout''': Y'know... I'm real glad you could make it. We've been through a lot, you and us. And I... well, it's good to know you stuck around, after everything we've been through.
 +
 +
[''He glances back from the entrance of the dining room'']
 +
 +
'''Scout''': Alright, c'mon, let's eat before this gets embarrassin'. Miss Pauling bought us a turkey! But just remember...
 +
 +
[''They both enter the dining room with Scout pulling out a chair, the table filled with plates of [[Sandvich|sandwiches]] and the roast turkey surrounded by the mercs, their family members, pets and friends. In the background the words 'Merry Smissmas' are hung up'']
 +
 +
'''Scout''': ["We couldn't have done '''''any''''' of this without you."]
 +
 +
[''The scene changes to Saxton Hale and Maggie in a field surrounded by cheetahs. They're now visibly much older, both with completely grey hair, Saxton Hale's body hair now barely visible. His hat can be seen in one of the cheetah's mouths'']
 +
 +
[ The African Veldt. Now. ]
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': Ha! We're '''''really''''' in for it now, Mags! Fist-fighting all these cheetahs managed to attract '''''more cheetahs!'''''
 +
 +
[''Maggie punches one of the cheetahs in the face, sending its teeth flying, as Saxton Hale pulls his hat back out of one of the cheetah's mouths before putting it back on'']
 +
 +
'''Maggie''': Looks like we're either gonna have to fight 'em all, Sax... or jump off this cliff.
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': What's the matter, Mags...
 +
 +
[''The view zooms out to show even more cheetahs surrounding them, with only a cliff behind them. The sun begins to set in the background'']
 +
 +
'''Saxton Hale''': You wanna live forever?
 +
 +
<big>'''{{font colour|DE233B|THE END}}'''</big>
 
|}
 
|}

Revision as of 00:48, 3 January 2025