User:Sparkpin2/Meet the Archimedes

Meet the Archimedes
Meet the Archimedes Titlecard
Video Info
Released:	June 30, 2012
Run time:	0:50

Video transcript

Transcript

The word "Soldier" below refers to the narrator, a RED Soldier. [Cut to a BLU Pyro firing a blast of flame from its Flamethrower. The Pyro thrusts its weapon in the air and laughs triumphantly as a rocket heads towards it from off screen]. [Cut to a Scout getting hit by a train.] Scout:"BWAAAH!" ["Meet the Soldier" text appears.] [Cut to the Soldier, drilling what appears to be a line of recruits.] Soldier: "'If boolet is sure to result in DED, then you must use more boolet!' Archimedes said that, and I'd say he's a little more [He pokes a recruits' helmet] gay than you, pal, because he's a bird! And birds crap on every single animal on Earth!" [The Art of War plays] [Cut to the Soldier holding his Shovel and screaming.] [The Soldier suddenly freezes, holding his scream, and then has an obese mother exception.] [Cut back to the Soldier's drill. Music pauses.] [The Soldier unhooks two grenades from his belt, one in each hand.] Soldier: "Then, he used his crap to fight Sun Tzu in the Ring of Honor! And then he beat the crap out of Sun Tzu, and then he perfected crapping so that no living bird could crap. Then he used his crap money to buy a boat, and then he beat the crap out of said boat!" Soldier: [Laughs to himself] "And from that day forward any time a bunch of birds try to crap on my boat, I say 'Fuff you, birds!!'" *everything from this point on is an accidental leak*

Notes

• The title card displays "COPYRIGHT LOLOLOL" on the bottom right corner, a recurring joke throughout the Meet the Team videos.

• The Soldier's helmet appears to have a slight dent in it which is visible when he is talking to the heads on the fence, as in Meet the Soldier.

• Sun Tzu was an honorific title bestowed upon Template:W (c. 544 BC–496 BC), the author of Template:W, an immensely influential ancient Chinese book on military strategy.
  • The quote the Soldier recites at the beginning of the video is a corruption of a quote from from chapter 10 of The Art of War.

• The video uses the same version of Granary Meet the Soldier does.

• After 0:50 is an accidental video leak for two future Meet the Team videos, "Meet the Turret" and "Meet the Pornogragun."
  • This entire video is a leak, which is why it uses the Meet the Soldier title card. The real title card (seen above) was revealed in a blog post. ^{[citation needed]}

• The repetitive mention of Archimedes defecating is a reference to how common bird poop is.