User:Texaneer

“

You just ain't doin' it right. Click to listen — Texaneer about valve items.

”

Texaneer
Basic information
Icon:
Type:	Multiprupose
Health:	125 /185 150 /225 With gunslinger
Speed:	"As fast as I can"

Texaneer is a BLU engineer who likes to make some stuff. He's (not) known from making (not so good) gmod videos and playing only in trade_ maps. Except making stuff he likes also Fallout, Transformers, mechs, Linkin Park, Coldplay, Queen and Minecraft. He also don't like colorful horse mutants(also known as ponies.) and he's sick of it because of their massive apperance and domination over TF2(but not only here. Also in Minecraft or deviantART). He represents ARC's Randomness element.

Main Prupose of this page

It not only serves as user account but I want to show to valve how their weapons SUCKS and needs to be changed.




P.s.: Does not includes cookies.

Changes that I want them in TF2

Weapons

Weapons
Class	Weapon	Current	Changes	Reason
Multiple classes	Melee Frying Pan	~	The item is now obtainable by craft and drop  Players who already owned Frying Pan before the update and not upgraded into Strange will have in Vintage quality  Alongside with Ellis Cap, it's no longer obtainable by purchasing Left 4 Dead 2  -25% chance to obtain from drops	~
	Melee Conscientious Objector	~	Pyro's Objector now uses Axe animations and Lollichop taunt  -25% chance to obtain from drops	no
	Melee Bat Outta Hell	~	Added level: Level 31 Bat  -25% chance to obtain from drops	~
Scout	Primary Soda Popper	Normal damage  requires 13 seconds of running and/or jumping to gain mini-crits	-15% damage penalty  Requires 5000 damage to fill "Hype". Activates by taunting  Mini-crits does not apply to any other weapons	I HATE THAT GUN. Really, totally not cool weapon. That's not fair that scout can get mini-crits by doing nothing.
	Primary Baby Face's Blaster	Jumping resets boost	Jumping takes only 25% of boost  Wearer can't double jump	Another badly desinged weapon for scout. It could be handy with winger.
	Secondary Winger	+15% damage bonus  -60% clip size	+20% damage bonus  -50% clip size	I'm still waiting for damage buff and a six bullet clip.
	Secondary Flying Guillotine	~	Scouts equipped with guillotine can pick up thrown or dropped cleaver to recharge instantly  Regenerates within 8 seconds	Little improvement.
	Secondary Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol	+50% fire damage vulnerability on wearer	+20% damage vulnerability on wearer	This will probably work
	Melee Boston Basher	On miss: Hit yourself dealing 35 damage and bleeding effect.	On miss: Hit yourself dealing 65 damage without bleeding.	Scout shouldn't take bleeding to self. But he should take just damage to self, increased to 65 (195 crit)
	Melee Atomizer	-20% damage penalty	No damage penalty	~
Soldier	Primary Direct Hit	Mini-crits targets launched airborne by explosions  -70% explosion radius	Mini-crits airborne targets  -50% explosion radius	Just give a chance for soldiers who can use it and also help them to face airborne enemies like mid air scout or landing demoman. Also, a little thing to make it more user friendly for players who uses it first time.
	Primary Black Box	On hit: +15 health	+35 health restored on kill  -15% damage vs. players	The Black Box supposed to be anti-building rocket launcher.
	Primary Liberty Launcher Suggestion 1	~	Deals mini-crits while the wielder is rocket jumping  +50% blast damage from rocket jumps  No random critical hits	If this became real, put Gunboats on.
	Primary Liberty Launcher Suggestion 2	~	New stat suggestion  Damage builds "Liberty Power"  "Liberty Power" regains user's 100% health and gains mini-crits(Full crits on airborne targets) for 8 seconds.  +25% projectile speed  -25% damage vs. players  No random critical hits  Takes 8500 damage to fully charge  Activates by taunting (Does not apply to other weapons).  Wearer gains 80% damage resistance while tauting with full "Liberty Power".	From the beginning of it's life it was a reeaally lazy designed weapon for soldier. Why not give it a more useful stats like this?
	Secondary Reserve Shooter	Mini-crits airborne targets for 3 seconds after switch	Mini-crits airborne targets  No random critical hits	~
	Melee Escape Plan	You are marked for death while active, and for short period after switching weapons	No self mark for death while active  No random critical hits	Valve up screwed up a well done weapon because somewhat pussy couldn't finish off a soldier who wielded it.
	Melee Equalizer		No random critical hits	If that thing above is implemented...
	Melee Disciplinary Action	On Hit Ally: Boosts both players' speed for 4 seconds	On Hit Ally: Boosts both players' speed for 6 seconds	That speed boost least too short
Pyro	Primary Flamethrower/Backburner/Degreaser	~	Has 1.0 second extended delay after using airblasts  Increased airblast cost from 20 to 30	We all know that pyro is OP. The real pyro player shouldn't spam with airblasts. And should not have any goddamn chance to finish off with Flare Gun/Reserve Shooter or Axtinguisher.
	Primary Backburner	+150% airblast cost  Critical hits enabled	+65% airblast cost  No random critical hits	If it says Backburner. Why still randomly crits?(Note: it would be implemented when airblast cost increase is applied)
	Primary Degreaser	65% faster weapon switch time  -25% burn damage penalty  -10% damage penalty	30% faster weapon switch time  -25% damage penalty  No burn damage penalty  Reflected projectiles are no longer mini-critical	Woah, calm down pooro. Don't be such a hated combo player. I don't care about being pr0.
	Melee Axtinguisher/Postal Pummeler	-50% damage vs. non burning targets  No critical hits vs. non burning targets	-50% damage penalty  No random critical hits	A SUPAH DUPAH OVERPOWERDED AXE DAT CAN INSTAKEEL WITH Degreaser COMBO!!!!!!111!!!oneoneoneone!!! Ok, seriously. Axtinguisher/Postal Pummeler is OP as hell!
Demoman	Primary Bootlegger	+100% increase in turning control while charging	No turning control bonus while charging  -50% blast damage from explosive jumps	We don't need a skin for Wee booties. We demand gunboats for demoman.
	Secondary Splendid Screen	~	No critical hits from charge	Chargin Targe is also good enough...
	Melee Horseless Headless Horsemann's Headtaker	Unusual quality	Haunted quality  Horseless Headless Horseman Headtaker can be traded	I don't see anything "unusual" in remodeled halloween eyelander
	Melee Nessie's Nine Iron	~	Description: Everytime you frag, you'll be rewarded with bonus health and move speed.  Will not decapitate on kill unlike rest of blade weapons	Alright, we get it. Golf Clubs can't decapitate.
	Melee Scotsman's Skullcutter	Random crits enabled	No random critical hits	It's a blade weapon, isn't it? So it should not randomly crit.
	Melee Persian Persuader	+100% increase in charge recharge rate	+60% increase in charge recharge rate  -50% health from healers on wearer	Persian makes "Demoknight" way more annoying than usual. Just because normally it takes half time to recharge. Also player should get more health from ammo and less from Medics and Dispensers
	Melee Claidheamh Mòr	-15 max health on wearer	On kill: Fully restores targe charge  -25 max health on wearer	Lah
Heavy	Primary Natascha	-25% damage penalty  30% longer spin up time	-20% damage penalty  25% longer spin up time	Because this weapon is too weak on long distances.
	Primary Brass Beast	~	+30% damage reistance when deployed	Since Valve removed the item set bonuses, we need to give something to brass.
	Primary Tomislav suggestion 1	+10% faster barrel spin-up  -20% slower firing speed	30% more accurate  No firerate penalty  No barrel spin-up time bonus  -20% damage penalty	More accurate Tomislav could be better than current, "fast spinning" Tommy. Also heavy could have higher chance to take down enemy on slightly longer distance.
	Primary Tomislav suggestion 2	+10% faster barrel spin-up  -20% slower firing speed	+40% faster barrel spin-up  No firerate penalty  -15% damage penalty	Old one was ok, but with that change than MAYBE spins 10% faster still spins with the rate of minigun.
	Primary Tomislav suggestion 3	+10% faster barrel spin-up  -20% slower firing speed	40% faster weapon switch speed  No firerate penalty  No barrel spin-up time bonus  -15% damage penalty	It would be good with fists of steel. And fast weapon switch for heavy would give higher chance to finish off his enemy or switch to GRU, or eat sandvich.
	Secondary Robo-Sandvich	~	Can be obtained from crafting and by purchasing from mann co. store.	We have Ap-Sap in store. Now we have to do the same thing with this.
	Secondary Family Business	-15% damage penalty	+20% faster firing speed  -25% damage penalty	I have no idea.
	Melee Fists of Steel	-40% damage from ranged sources while active  +100% damage from melee sources while active	-60% damage from ranged sources while active  +60% damage from melee sources while active	More balanced than before. Player shouldn't die instantly from melee and he should also resist more damage from gunfire.
	Melee Eviction Notice	~	On hit: +15 health	Just a little idea came to my mind. I think this will make more useful than current one.
Engineer	Primary Rescue Ranger	-50% max primary ammo on wearer  Self mark for death on building pick up	-25% max primary ammo on wearer  No self mark for death on building pick up  +25% damage vulnerability on building pick up	I know that this weapon serves as "Tool weapon" prupose, but it should be buffed. Not that much, but buffed.
	Melee Southern Hospitality	No random critical hits	Critical hits enabled  -25% damage penalty	Removed SH's stat change during Hattless Update made this weapon stronger(I guess...), why it's removed I'm asking? Maybe this will work.
	Melee Jag	+30% faster building rate(bugged)	+25% faster building rate(WORKING)	I know, Valve will never change none of these weapons on my list. I perfecly know. Even they won't fix jag which instead of 30% build speed bonus we got 17% bonus.
Medic	Primary Crusader's Crossbow	+40% faster reloading speed	+25% faster reloading speed	I'm not a big fan of that gun. But faster reload speed pisses me off that could turn me into Jarate Machine Gun.
	Secondary Kritzkrieg	Taunt heals 11 hp	Taunt heals 50 hp	It's not so much for heavily wounded medic, even health regeneration doesn't help much(Not that bad, but not so much). If player want fully restore health, then he/she/it should "get stoned" so much till health is 100% or die from filthy F2P scout's scatter gun.
	Melee Amputator		+1 health regenerated per second on wearer  +20% fire damage vulnerability on wearer	It would be handy when player uses blutsauger.
Sniper	Primary Machina	Full charge: +15% damage bonus	Full charge: +25% damage bonus  -20% charge rate	Nothing personal. I just wanted to shut up those so called "Headshot-Only-pr0-1337-Unusual-Black Bill-Sniper" players.
	Secondary Cleaner's Carbine	On kill: 3 seconds of 100% critical chance  -35% slower firing speed	On kill: 5 seconds of 100% critical chance  -20% slower firing speed	Short crit chance time and slow firing rate makes this weapon UP, it needs a buff.
	Melee Bushwacka	~	No random critical hits	Most people use it for Jarate + Bushwacka strategy to get rid off attackers. So why does it crit randomly?(P.s.: I think they will hate me when it will be implemented.)
Spy	Melee Big Earner	-25 max health on wearer	No max health penalty  -25% slower firing speed	Someone suggested this on steam forums. I must say, I approve his suggestion
	Melee Conniver's Kunai	On Backstab: Absorbs the health from your victim.	On Backstab: Absorbs the health from your victim and temporarily increase max health  Max health extension: up to 225 HP for 12 seconds.  Health drain depends on class max HP.  High max HP - 225, low max HP - 100.  Cannot see enemy health	Another idea that came to my mind.
	Building Ap-Sap	~	Can be obtained from crafting	Ok, we have it pruchaseable. Now make it craftable.

Hats and miscs

Hats
Class	Hat	Changes	Reason
All Class	Hat Bill's hat	Can be obtained by craft and drop  Players who already owned Bill's hat before the update will have in Vintage quality	I don't like bills. Not because I don't have one. Just, don't, like, them.
	Hat Ellis' Cap	Can be obtained by craft and drop  Players who already owned Ellis' Cap before the update will have in Vintage quality  Alongside with Frying Pan, it's no longer obtainable by purchasing Left 4 Dead 2	~
	Hat Spiral Sallet	The item is tradeable  The item has styles: Open(default), Closed and Mighty(original Mighty Cobalt Helm colors)	~
	Misc Game promo medals	Awesomenauts Badge, Vigilant Pin, Whale Bone Charm, Merc Medal, Mark of the Saint, Hitt Mann Badge, Croft's Crest, Heroic Companion Badge, Bolgan Family Crest, Companion Cube Pin and Atomic Accolade are no longer obtainable trough craft, mann co. store purchase and drop.	It's a reward from game purchase, isn't it?
Soldier	Hat Battle Bob	Changed from hat into misc	It looks terrible as hat.
Demoman	Misc Battery Bandolier	Can be also worn by Soldier and Pyro	Whatever
Heavy	Hat One-Man Army/Your Worst Nightmare	One-Man Army is merged with Your Worst Nightmare headwear for sniper under the name One-Mann Army, which can be worn both by Heavy and Sniper.  Replaced Your Worst Nightmare with One-Mann Army	That makes no sense, have 2 identical hats for other classes that is not one hat.

Tools

Tools
Class	Tool/s	Changes	Reason
Tools	Tools Team Paints	All team paints can be obtained by drop.	~
	Tools Other Paints	Pink as hell, A colour similiar to Slate, Dark Salomon Injustice, A bitter taste of Defeat and Lime, The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants, Drably Olive, Mann's Mint, After Eight, A Distinctive Lack of Hue and An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge are obtainable by dropping.	~

Sentry Buster

Sentry Buster
Sentry Buster	Current	Changes	Reason
Sentry Buster	2500 HP  187% move speed	1300 HP  100% move speed	Nobody likes sentry busters you hear me?

Suggestion zone

My head is full of (Sometimes) good ideas. Here we can see my suggestions(Meh-LON):

Robots

Robot Ideas
Robot	Name/Image	Weapon	Hat	Misc	Notes / Abilities
Scout	150px Gift Robot	Festive Bat	Gifting Man From Gifting Land	None	5000 hp  Moves twice as fast  Swings twice as fast  +100% knockback resistance  Drops comparable to tank large mount of credits  Rare type of robot  -50% damage penalty  Does not pick ups bombs  Attacks only if hurt by player  Spawns randomly like Sentry Buster, but much less frequently
	150px Major Scout	Baby Face's Blaster	Hermes	None	5000 hp  Fires twice as fast  +50% bullets per pellet  +4 pellets to max clip  Does not fire until fully reloaded  -20% slower move speed
Soldier	150px Space Marine	Righteous Bison	None	None	Fires penetrating energy bolts  Projectile cannot be deflected  +25% faster move speed  150 HP  -50% damage vs. buildings  Attacks in very large groups.
	150px Super Space Marine	Cow Mangler 5000	None	None	Fires fast travelling energy bolts  Can sometimes charge the shot that would disable sentry guns for several seconds  -50% damage vs. buildings
	150px Giant Space Marine	Cow Mangler 5000	Cross-Comm Crash Helmet	None	4500 HP  Fires fast travelling energy bolts  Can and will charge the shot that would disable sentry guns for several seconds  -50% slower move speed  -50% damage vs. buildings  Does not fire until fully reloaded
Pyro	150px FireFighter	Detonator	Brigade Helm	None	1.9x larger in size  50.000 HP  +60% knockback resistance  Extra +90% vertical airblast resistance  Fires and reloads twice as fast  100% chance for critical hit on burning targets  Provides 90% less rage  Heals 150 health per second  -50% move speed
Demoman	150px Samurai Demo	Half-Zatoichi	Samur-Eye	None	250 HP  Fully restores health on kill  Attacks in very large groups  Katana wielders deal and take instant kills
	150px Giant Samurai	Half-Zatoichi	Samur-Eye	Menpo	5000 hp  Fully restores health on kill  On kill: 3 seconds of mini-crits  Katana wielders deals double damage to robot  -50% slower move speed
Heavy	150px Robo-Santa	Festive Mini-gun	B.M.O.C.	All-Father	5000 HP  +70% knockback resistance  +50% damage bonus  -50% move speed  Cannot see past 1200 units  Explodes with gifts on death  Appears only on special MvM christmass event map
	150px Giant Festive Deflector	Festive Deflector	U-clank-a	Merc's Muffler	5000 HP  +70% knockback resistance  +50% damage bonus  Can shoot down projectiles  -50% move speed  Cannot see past 1200 units  Appears only on special MvM christmass event map
	150px Bear Force Heavy	Warrior's Spirit	Big Chief	None	50% larger in size  500 HP  +30% damage bonus  +50% critical hit resistance
Engineer	150px Festive Engineer Robot	Festive Wrench	Industrial Festivizer	None	Appears only on special MvM christmass event map
Medic	150px Crit Charger	Kritzkrieg	Surgeon's Stahlhelm	None	Spawns With Full UberCharge  +500% ubercharge rate  Ubercharge Lasts 5 seconds  Primary slot disabled  Can charge with ubersaw when patient is killed
Sniper	150px Penetrator	Machina	None	Deus Specs	Uses penetrating rounds  +35% damage bonus  Uses tracer rounds  -20% slower firing speed

Crates

Crates
Crate no.	Item
No. 72
	Strange Minigun
	Strange Righteous Bison
	Strange Vita-Saw
	Strange Part: Friends Killed (Counts number of killed players from friend list)
	Strange Part: Disguised Spys Killed
	Strange Part: Domination Kills
	Blighted Beak
	Last Breath
No. 73
	Strange Ambassador
	Strange Claidheamh Mòr
	Strange Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol
	Strange Part: Stunned players killed
	Strange Part: Airbourne kills
	Strange Part: Enviromental Kills
	Private Eye
	Team Captain
No. 80 (select reserve)
	Strange AWPer Hand
	Strange Scottish Handshake
	Strange Solemn Vow
	Strange Cloak and Dagger
	Strange Cow Mangler 5000