The Naked and the Dead/Transcript/zh-hans

该漫画的篇幅较长，固有必要创建誊本。为方便检阅，该誊本的内容根据剧情而分为了几个小段落。

第 1-29 页：引言——宝琳小姐的苏醒

[The story begins with Miss Pauling lying face-down in the middle of a golden desert, covered in sand and with vultures around her. She wakes up with a start, spitting sand out of her mouth.] Miss Pauling: "咳！呸呸呸！这是什么地方...?" [一扇未上锁的门立在她面前，似乎通向任何地方] [宝琳小姐打开门往里看] Miss Pauling: Um. Hello? Voice: Oh, it's you. Well, you might as well come in. [声音来自管理员，她坐在控制室中央，多个监视器闪着绿色的光。所有人的脸都诡异的被她监视者 ] Miss Pauling: Where are we? Administrator: Mm. You know, nobody's ever dropped by that I've been able to ask. This is where I wake up when I die. All the cameras face inward, you see. So all you can look at is yourself. For eternity, presumably. Very poetic. I'm only ever here for an hour or so. Usually I just read magazines and smoke. [宝琳小姐走近了] Miss Pauling: None of this is real, is it? You're just... this is all in my head. Administrator: If you like. Maybe I'm not here at all. Maybe I'm just a flickering memory in your dying brain. [管理员轻轻地弹了弹香烟，仍然面对着监视器] Administrator: Or maybe I am real, and we're discussing the nature of reality in my own private hell. In which case, congratulations. You've somehow figured out how to make eternity more boring. Honestly, pick one. I've never had much patience for the abstract. What matters is you've died. And that means you've failed. [宝琳小姐皱了皱眉，但依旧在讲话] Miss Pauling: Okay, yes. I failed. The Australium you sent me to get? It's gone. It's gone, ma'am. [管理员一手扶额，看起来很沮丧] Administrator: *Sigh* And of course you just gave up, didn't you. You have no idea how important this is... [宝琳小姐的话语变得更为绝望] Miss Pauling: So tell me! Administrator, I know you're planning something big. I've always known. And I've never asked. Not once. Because I trusted you. That when we got here, you'd have a place for me. [管理员吸了一口烟] Administrator: Tell me, Miss Pauling... if you've never questioned my intentions, in a decade under my employ... because you "trusted" me... [管理员在椅子上转过身，面对着宝琳小姐] Administrator: Why are you asking now? [沉默了一会。宝琳小姐提出了一个问题] Miss Pauling: What is it you want? [所有的的监视器突然神秘的关闭了。突然，管理员严肃地看了她一眼，用手指着她，脸色变得阴沉.] Administrator: Blood. [监视器一个个亮起。所有的屏幕上倒映着宝琳小姐的眼睛.] Administrator': It's not enough. [所有的监视器都亮起了，全都映着她惊恐的表情.] Administrator: I need more. [漫画镜头突然切换到另一个场景。宝琳小姐躺在TFC基地外充斥着血液的土地上，缓缓恢复了意识。发现之前的事件都是幻觉.] Voice: I need more blood! [漫画的标题出现在页面底部: 裸者与死者] [Miss Pauling finally awakens] Miss Pauling: Medic? [医生正拿着装满血液的水桶四处奔波, 而詹娜则用一块布在地上收集血液.] Medic: More blood! She's coming around! [医生单膝跪在宝琳小姐身边，也用布收集着血] Miss Pauling: What happened? I thought we all... Medic: Died? Ha ha ha, heavens, NO! ...well, yes. [医生把浸满血的布塞进桶里，对宝琳小姐露出了一个微笑。宝琳小姐有些不安] Medic: But only momentarily! Your hearts barely had time to stop beating! The robots merely drained out all of your blood. [医生将一桶带着各种脏东西的血液直接倒入躺在地上面带微笑的士兵的胸腔里。宝琳小姐感到很恶心.] Medic: SO! I just put the blood back in! Miss Pauling (Grimacing): I refuse to believe it's that easy. Medic: I know, ja? Why do people even go to Medical school? Miss Pauling: Wait, how'd you separate out all the blood types? [士兵包裹着绷带笑着坐了起来] Soldier: HAR! "Different types of blood"! Miss Pauling came back stupid! [看向士兵] Medic: Ha! Yes. What foolishness. [当士兵挖鼻孔时，医生紧盯着惊讶的宝琳小姐] Medic (Quietly): Miss Pauling, I've been using my own underwear to sponge blood out of puddles. Trust me, the type is the least of your problems. [宝琳小姐看起来好像要哭了] Miss Pauling: Oh god. Are we going to be okay...? Medic (Thinking): I would drink plenty of water. Oh, and blood, if you can find any. [他们被爆破手的声音打断了，他正疯狂地对付着一堆吸血机器人。被摧毁的机器人残骸四处散落.] Miss Pauling: Wait. Aren't those the robots that killed all of us in five seconds? Medic: Oof. Yes, I saw. Very embarrassing of you. Miss Pauling: Right, so... How the hell is Demo doing that? [医生抓起一个倒地不起的机器人的手臂] Medic: Yes, I was pleasantly surprised as well. If I had to guess... I'd say drinking Demo's blood is giving them all alcohol poisoning. Miss Pauling: But he hasn't had a drop of liquor since we got to the island! How is he...? [一个小气泡打断了宝琳小姐小姐] Voice: Heart! Status report! [场景切换到爆破手经历的幻觉。爆破手在控制面板后面向他的各种拟人化器官发出命令，戴着眼罩的心脏向他致敬，并进行报告.] Demoman's Heart: We managed to convert the stomach into a distillery, sir! Demoman (Shouting): Convert the lungs too! If it's hollow and it's in me body, put it to work! Voice: Tavish? [自从旧伤残痕离开后，爆破手的肝脏又回来了。爆破手高傲的回答了她，没有回头.] Demoman: Ach. Look who came crawling back. Hello, liver. Get bored of yer champagne parties and golden shrimp forks, did ye? Demoman's Liver: Tavish... I never even left your rectum. [爆破手抓住他的肝脏，拥抱它，在一个心形的漫画泡泡里浪漫地吻了一下.] Demoman: I know. [爆破手的肝脏涨红了脸，站在一脸快乐的爆破手旁.] Demoman: Ach, we'll have plenty o' time for that later. We should get back t'work. While you were gallivantin' around in me colon havin' a fine oul' time, me and the lads invented a way to ferment bone marrow. [两根戴着眼罩的骨头来了，都握着稿子；其中一根正在吸烟.] Demoman: Look sharp there, boys! Demoman's Bones: I hate this job. [镜头突然变黑] Voice: These guys are morons. Lunatics. They're the laughing stock of the mercenary world. How the hell are they- [沮丧的经典机枪手看着闪着蓝光的屏幕上的战局的发展.经典工程师从他身后走近，打断了他的思绪.] TFC Engineer: Uh... boss? Me and the boys were talkin', and uh... we were wonderin' how we're gonna get paid. [经典机枪手没有转身。他似乎拿着什么东西.] TFC Heavy: Do I look like I'm in the mood to talk about this, Fred? You always get paid. Why bring it up now? TFC Engineer: Well, for one, you never killed the guy payin' us before. Two, I've been standin' here ten minutes watchin' you yell at his spine. [经典机枪手威胁地转过身来，将他手中的东西递给经典工程师，表明这是格雷.曼恩的生命延长器.] TFC Heavy: You worried about MONEY? I'm holding a machine that will let us live forever, Fred. [经典工程师向后退了几步] TFC Engineer: Yeah, about that. I also can't help noticing you ain't holding five of 'em. TFC Heavy: SO MAKE MORE! You're an Engineer, aren't you? TFC Engineer: Well, sure, but- this aint' exactly upgrading a Turret here. Come on man, immortality machines? Magic rocks? That damn thing's more Biology that Engineering... [经典机枪手再次转身] TFC Heavy: Just so we're not here all day... what can you do, Fred? [经典工程师掰着手指算数] TFC Engineer: Well, I've been lookin' at the old man's Robots. I could probably get the Sentry Busters up and running, or maybe... [经典机枪手转身抓住经典工程师的衣领，对着他的脸大吼.] TFC Engineer: Get them ALL up and running! Now! I WANT THESE IDIOTS DEAD!

第 30-55 页：团队重聚

[漫画回到基地外。从萨克斯顿.霍尔的飞机上跳下后，机枪手和侦察兵降落在宝琳小姐旁边。侦察兵首先降落，对再次见到宝琳小姐感到高兴 .] Scout: Miss Pauling! Miss Pauling: Scout! Heavy! Thank god! Scout: You're alive! Miss Pauling: You- Scout: And you look terrific! Have you lost weight? Miss Pauling: I... lost most of my blood? Scout: Nice! Your hair looks great too! Miss Pauling: Thanks. It's... covered in my blood. [侦察兵摘下降落伞，靠近宝琳小姐] Scout: Miss Pauling, I'm... you know what? I'm just glad you're okay. [侦察兵紧紧拥抱了宝琳小姐——这使她身体里的血液从眼睛喷出，打掉了她的眼镜。宝琳小姐看起来很疲惫，厌恶地让侦察兵放开了她.] Medic: Ah, yes. Miss Pauling, you might not want to get squeezed by anyone for... well... ever, I suppose. That blood is going to be sloshing around in there for a while. [与此同时，詹娜高兴地与惊讶的机枪手重聚，并拥抱了他.] Zhanna Misha! I am so happy to see you! Heavy (惊讶地看着她的残肢): Zhanna, where is your hand? [詹娜放开机枪手。机枪手把一只手臂放在她的肩膀上] Zhanna: I sawed it off with scrap of metal to kill woman torturing me (the TFC Pyro). Heavy: Yes, of course. Good. Wait, what is this? [机枪手注意到了詹娜脖子上的耳朵项链，并抓住了它] Heavy: Where did you get this necklace of... human ears... [机枪手惊恐地看着他的妹妹] Heavy: Sister, NO. [士兵高兴地走过来，朝机枪手的胸部打了一拳；机枪手失望地瞪了他一眼] Soldier: Hello, brother-in-law! Good news! You're going to be a grandfather! Zhanna: He's going to impregnate me, brother! [镜头切到侦察兵，对艾尔岩事件向宝琳小姐进行一次相当富有自我主义的讲解] Scout: ...and then I punched Ayers Rock real hard and it moved like ten feet and Heavy was like "Holy crap you're super strong!" And I was like "Shut up for a second and let me think 'cause all the Australium's gone..." [宝琳小姐把目光移开，心想] Miss Pauling: I knew it. Scout: Wait, you always knew I was super strong? 'Cause... that's a thing... we could explore. Miss Pauling: What about the Australium? Did you find out who took it? Scout: Oh, uh... not as such, no, vis a vis (vis-à-vis: with regard to) the rock in question... But oh! We did find Saxton Hale though! Miss Pauling (Looks at Scout): Really? Great, we could use the help! Where is he? Scout (Points behind himself): He's right... Huh. That's funny. Him and his big mean girlfriend were right behind us. [侦察兵转过身来。他和宝琳小姐小姐都对其所见到的感到惊讶.] Scout: Oh. That is... [一群嗡嗡作响的机器雇佣兵一直站在他们身后，四周满是机器人的隆隆声] Scout: That is not Saxton Hale behind us. [一个小气泡打断了场景] Voice: We were inside that whale for four days looking for that cougar! [切换到萨克斯顿.霍尔和玛吉在他们的飞机上，对他们过去的冒险回忆歇斯底里地大笑] Saxton Hale (大笑): But we found him in the end, didn't we, Mags? 杰瑞 (驾驶着飞机): Mister Hale? Saxton Hale: Beat the crap out of him too! [玛吉举手做了一个鬼脸，霍尔大笑起来] Maggie: Remember there was that boat full of hippies trapped in there? Jerry: Mister Hale? Saxton Hale (Laughing): Ha ha ha! When'll those dimwits learn? They just look like a boat full of sausages to a whale. Jerry (Shouting now): Mister Hale!! [霍尔和玛吉稍微冷静了些，对着彼此微笑] Maggie: Remember what we did in that whale, Sax? Saxton Hale: Do I. On everything, Mags. The stomach. The liver. The heart, The cougar corpse... [他们被杰瑞的叫喊声打断了，杰瑞打开舱门大声通知他们.] Jerry: MISTER HALE! If you're going to jump, it needs to be now, we are out of fuel. [玛吉梳了梳头发，霍尔用肌肉发达的手臂轻推她] Maggie: Sheesh Sax, how long've we been jawing on for? Saxton Hale: That big fella and the rat-boy jumped an hour ago. Time flies with you Mags. Always did. Y'know, I've been thinking... Once we get that Australium off Gray Mann... [玛吉和霍尔都戴上了降落伞。霍尔先戴上降落伞，把几箱货物从飞机后部的开口处推下来后，准备降落.] Saxton Hale (Looking back and smiling): ...Darling promised he'd get me Mann Co. back! Mags! You should come run it with me! [玛吉把脸转过去，戴上降落伞时露出悲伤的表情] Saxton Hale: Just the two of us! Wouldn't that be great? [玛吉仍然没有回答] Saxton Hale (Still pushing cargo): Mags? [在基地外，宝琳小姐、詹娜、爆破手、机枪手、士兵和侦察兵被困在桥中央的一个小包围圈中。他们两侧被成堆的机器人包围，而桥下的激流更将他们完全困住.] Soldier: Do not worry, men! I have crapped my way out of tougher jams than this! Surrounded on one side? HA! These tin cans couldn't surround their own metal asses with both hands! I'll- [士兵朝着桥的另一端看] Soldier: Oh. They are on both sides of us. Men, we are going to die. Scout: It's a good thing we ain't got any guns, Soldier... [镜头放大到侦察兵和团队] Scout (Tense, with fists up): ...'cause I'd shoot you right now before these robots kill us. Heavy: Where did Hale go? Scout: I toldja we couldn't trust that smelly bagga muscles... Just a big hairy coward, if ya ask m- [侦察兵说话时，被一个正好砸在他的头上的板条箱打断了.] Scout: Ow. [带着降落伞的板条箱从天而降；其中一个还击中了士兵的头部。侦察兵拿着一个标有“曼恩公司霰弹枪”的板条箱，尽力地阅读着.] Scout: Sub... Submack... mackeen... No, wait. Lemme start over. Subm- Miss Pauling: Scout, read faster. [镜头聚焦在队伍上方，每个人都向上看。侦察兵笑容满面] Scout: Naw, I got the gist. Holy crap, you guys! Look who just showed up with a bunch of Submakeens! [霍尔正带着板条箱一起跳伞，玛吉就在他身边。为了活命的杰瑞紧紧抓住玛吉.] Saxton Hale: SAXTON HAAAALE! Jerry: AAAAAAAaaaaaaa... [一个板条箱落在机枪手旁边，机枪手低头看了一眼。他那可靠的转轮机枪从破板条箱里滚了出来。他笑了笑，拿起它，转动他的转轮机枪，再次听到它的歌唱] Heavy: Ahhh, Sasha. I have missed your voice. [切换到一张插图，队伍终于有了武器可以反击，他们开始对着格雷.曼恩的机器人堆爆炸、射击和猛击]

第 56-86 页：狙击手VS间谍……VS狙击手

[宝琳小姐的团队战斗的场景突然变成了黑色，变成了狙击镜的视角。某人正喃喃自语.] Voice: Okay, fat man... [镜头给到经典狙击手，他站在建筑物内的有利位置。正从窗户处试图狙击机枪手.] TFC Sniper: How about you go first? [房间的门被敲响，打断了他的计划。经典狙击手抬起头抱怨.] TFC Sniper: Damn it all! [经典狙击手将狙击枪靠在窗台边，面朝门] TFC Sniper: Whoever that is, your knockin' just cost me a headshot. Voice (Outside door): Virgil, it's me! Let me in! TFC Sniper: Uh huh. And how do I know its you? Voice (More frantically): Virg, three of us are dead and the boss is PISSED, now let me in! TFC Sniper: Ah, goddamnit. "Apricot". [暗号打开了门，门外是经典工程师。他走了进来] TFC Engineer: Pack it up. Boss wants you back in the Comm room. [经典狙击手将狙击枪放在窗户旁边] TFC Sniper: Now? Has he lost his damn mind? I've got 'em dead to rights down there. They've got guns now, Fred. [当两人交谈时，镜头移出了房间。在门外，狙击手在暗处中拿着一块木板；事实上，经典工程师是间谍伪装的，他试图伏击经典狙击手.] "TFC Engineer": Wait, what? When? TFC Sniper: Just now. Some naked guy fell out of the sky with a load of weapon crates. [狙击手听到了这句话，犹豫了一下] Sniper (quietly): Aw, bloody hell... [经典工程师用拇指指向门外] "TFC Engineer": Well, maybe that's what the boss wants to talk about. I know he's got something planned, anyway. TFC Sniper: Yeah, fine. Let's go. ..."Apricot". [当经典狙击手拔出一把｛｛Botignore |左轮手枪｝｝，朝“经典工程师”的膝盖开枪时，暗语关上了门。间谍的伪装消失了，狙击手惊慌失措地离开了.] Sniper: Bugger. Bugger. Bugger. [间谍伸展四肢躺在地板上，一只手抓住受伤的膝盖。当经典狙击手跪在他身边时，他疯狂地开始喊控制门的暗号.] TFC Sniper: Why would the boss want his Sniper out a Sniper's nest durin' the middle of a firefight... Spy (Towards the door): Nngh! Apricot! TFC Sniper: ...just so he can tell me to go back to my Sniper's nest to start shootin' people? Spy (In a panic): Apricot! Apricot! TFC Sniper: Heh. Yeah, that's not gonna work. You might wanna come up with some better last words. [与此同时，狙击手艰难地撞开了一扇木门。他倒在地上，流血不止，浑身无力.] Sniper: *Hff* *Hff* [他进入的房间里有一扇窗户。狙击手抓住窗台将玻璃砸碎；一块破碎的玻璃不小心卡在了他的裤子上，让他出窗户时变得一丝不挂] Sniper: Bugger. Bugger. Aggh. Bugger... [镜头切换回经典狙击手和间谍] TFC Sniper: Fred and I been workin' together since before the war. For what its worth? That was a good Fred. Spy (Holding his knee in pain): Nngh! Not good enough, evidently. TFC Sniper: Nah, it woulda fooled me. Thing is, I know Fred so well... [经典狙击手用手枪敲击右眼；它看起来是机械的，碰撞发出了金属声] TFC Sniper: ...I trusted him. To pluck my eyes out and replace 'em with these. Damn things see through everything. Can't sleep at night. They see through my eyelids. But lemme tell you... it is worth it to see you rat@#$% Spies coming. Spy: Ngh! Well. Before you kill me. [间谍似乎放弃了，他把手伸进西装，拿出一支香烟，缓缓的露出了半个微笑] Spy: Would you mind... if I had a cigarette? [镜头转向间谍的背部。经典狙击手背朝房间的窗户，他没有发现狙击手从外面慢慢爬进房间打开的窗户.] TFC Sniper (pointing his revolver at the Spy): Sure. But take one of mine. [经典狙击手单膝跪下，为间谍点燃了香烟，用枪托起帽子。狙击手已经爬到了半路，窗户上留下了血迹.] TFC Sniper: I don't want you smokin' one of them cyanide cigarettes you boys like so much. [狙击手已经到了窗户旁边，经典狙击手的狙击枪就放在那里。不过经典狙击手仍然没有注意到他.] TFC Sniper: Don't want you goin' quick. I'm gonna take my time with this. [经典狙击手在听到狙击枪扣动扳机的声音后终于转过身来。狙击手爬进房间，用经典狙击手自己的狙击枪对准他。经典狙击手叹了口气，举起双手投降.] TFC Sniper: *sigh* Right. Now just think this through for a second, son. I'm sittin' on a- [狙击手毫不犹豫爆了经典狙击手的头，在他沉默的同时立即将其击毙。经典狙击手倒在地上的血泊中.] [间谍靠在墙上休息，当狙击手向他走来时，手指夹着香烟] Spy: If I forgot to mention it before now... You Snipers are the worst people on the planet. Sniper: He wasn't a Sniper. He was a sadist. There's a difference. Snipers don't muck about with gutshots and monologues. We just take the shot. [两人都痛苦地靠在墙上休息，间谍的腿在流血，狙击手的伤口缝线把血弄得满墙都是] Spy (condescendingly): Yes, you're credit to the institution of shooting people from far away. Some of us would have enjoyed torturing him first, by the way. Sniper: Yeah, well... next time speak up before I blow his head off. Let's have one of them cigs. [间谍吸了一口烟，把点燃的烟递给狙击手。两人都没有闭上眼睛.] [短暂沉默] Sniper: So... how do you reckon we get outta here?

第 87-123 页：你杀了医生

[Scene changes to outside of the TFC base. Medic and Demoman are sitting in front of the rubble of a Tank Robot. Medic is stitching up Demoman's leg, while Demoman drinks from what seems to be a bottle of scrumpy.] Demoman: So after ye shot Sniper... Medic (working): Technically I was only present. Demoman: ...ye brought him back from the dead. Medic: Ingeniously so, yes. Demoman: Ach, well... tha's all right then. Medic (gets up slightly): Could I trouble you with the hydrogen peroxide? [Demoman hands him the bottle he was drinking from; he was drinking hydrogen peroxide the entire time] Demoman Aye, here ya go. Medic: Danke. This won't take a moment. [Zoom in on Demoman] Demoman: Y'know, Doc, I always wondered... ye can bring a man back t'life... why can't ye grow me another eye? [Medic hands Demoman the bottle of hydrogen peroxide, smiles, and prepares another string for stitching] Medic: Oh, of course I can. The procedure is quite simple, really. [Medic starts to hum as he begins stitching up Demoman's leg again. Demoman takes a swig from the bottle, and takes some time to process what he just heard] Demoman (After a moment of thought): What. [Demoman gets up, raising his voice to the Medic in slight anger] Demoman: Ye mean ta tell me, all these years... Ye could have put me eye back in any time ye bloodly liked? Medic (flabbergasted): Could have? [Medic points a finger at Demoman, lecturing him] Medic: My friend, I've given you your eye back at least eight times. And every time it functions normally until Halloween night. At which point it grows batwings and attacks us. We've fought a giant your eye, a brain-in-a-jar your eye, a knife-wielding ventriloquist dummy your eye. One year it traveled back in time and tried to be our parents. [Zooms in to Medic, who gives a grim expression and points at Demoman] Medic: The point is: in my medical opinion... and as a man of science I do noy say this lightly... That eye socket is haunted. [Medic turns around to pack up his supplies. Demoman looks at him suspiciously] Demoman: Wait, why don't I remember any o' this? Medic: Oh, that. I scooped that part of your brain out so you'd stop asking me. [Demoman points a finger forward with a dumbfounded look for a moment, but then washes his questions away with a swig from his hydrogen peroxide bottle] Demoman: ...Aye, fair enough. [Demoman stands up suddenly] Demoman: Hold on. I did just ask you. Medic (Shrugging): *Sigh* I know. Sadly, brain-scooping is not an exact science. [Medic puts a hand on Demoman's back] Medic: My advice would be to try not to remember things. [Demoman puts a finger to his head, focusing] Demoman: Don't remember things. Got- [Demoman suddenly gets a nosebleed and leans back, seemingly stunned as Medic watches. He suddenly runs off happily, apparently forgetting everything that had happened, even the Medic's name itself. Medic waves a hand in the air and smiles.] Medic: That's the spirit! Also, your leg is fixed. I even gave it its own little brain! So get out there and let's see what that does. Demoman (Smiling but oblivious): You've got it, kindly stranger! [With Demoman gone, Medic gets on his knees and packs up his supplies in a large health pack, whistling. Suddenly, two pair of feet appear behind him.] Voice: Frankenstein. [Medic turns around as the the large frame of the TFC Heavy approaches from behind him, Gray Mann's Life-Extender machine in his hand] TFC Heavy: Here's what's gonna happen. We're going back to your lab. And we're gonna figure out how to stitch this thing into me. [Medic brings a hand down near his health pack, careful not to make sudden movements] Medic: Of course. Let's get you on an operating table and- TFC Heavy: -And you'll put me under and you'll kill me. I ain't stupid. No, you're gonna tell my guy how to do it. Medic (keeping his eyes on TFC Heavy): Please. I am a Doctor. You will not die on my table. [The comic panel reveals what Medic was reaching for: his Ubersaw.] Medic: I'll just kill you here. [Medic gets up and uses his Ubersaw to slash at the TFC Heavy's face. TFC Heavy stumbles and clutches his face, bleeding from a deep gash. It has started to rain.] TFC Heavy: AGH! What... [TFC Heavy looks defeated, but suddenly glares at Medic, blood pouring from his wound] TFC Heavy: What the HELL did you just do. [Before TFC Heavy can react, Medic stabs him in the left side of his stomach, leaving his Ubersaw deeply embedded in his chest. He bravely keeps his gaze on the surprised TFC Heavy.] Medic: Here. Let me show you. [TFC Heavy falls onto the muddy floor; Medic adjusts his glasses, seemingly winning the fight. To his surprise and horror, TFC Heavy grabs onto the Ubersaw and pulls it out of his stomach while standing up.] Medic: Dear god... [TFC Heavy throws the bloodied Ubersaw on the ground, and menacingly walks towards Medic with a air of rage. The rain bounces off his shoulders.] TFC Heavy: You've been a coward since the day I hired you. I gotta say... I did NOT see that comin'. But now? Now you got my full attention. [TFC Heavy dashes forward and clotheslines Medic with a flexed arm, knocking his glasses off and forcing him straight onto the muddy ground.] TFC Heavy: RRRRAGGH! [TFC Heavy sits on Medic and pins him to the ground, one arm pressed hard against his face. Medic begins to beg for his life while TFC Heavy keeps a crazed smile on his face.] Medic: Wait, WAIT! THE MACHINE! You still NEED ME! I'm the only one- TFC Heavy: Nah. You were just the closest. The old woman. She knows. And now I know where she is. Hirin' you was the biggest mistake I ever made, Doc. You been sewin' god-knows-what into us for MONTHS... Now it's my turn. How about I start by sawing your @#$%ing arms off? [Zoom in onto TFC Heavy's bleeding face, spitting blood from his wound as he talks] TFC Heavy: And sewing 'em up your- [He is interrupted by a Minigun barrel nudging his face - Heavy stands behind him, revved-up Minigun ready to fire] Heavy: Do not hit Doctor. [TFC Heavy looks back, barely turning his head] TFC Heavy: Ah, the big guy. Finally. Heard a lot about you, big man. [TFC Heavy turns around and shrugs with a goofy smile] TFC Heavy: I ain't gonna lie. I've been lookin' forward to this. [TFC Heavy closes his eyes and covers his head, apparently surrendering] TFC Heavy: Y'got me dead to rights here. Go on then. Do it. [Heavy responds by dropping his still-spinning Minigun, standing akimbo with his preferred weapons: his Fists.] Heavy: You want a good death? I can give this to you. [While Heavy talks, TFC Heavy pulls out a pistol from his clothes and stands up] Medic (Still on the foor): ...He has a gun... Heavy: Coward. I should have known you would not want fair fight. TFC Heavy: See, here's the thing... [TFC Heavy grins and, without looking away from Heavy, fires two fatal shots into Medic's chest] TFC Heavy: That's EXACTLY what I want. [Heavy stares at his dying Doctor with a blank expression] Heavy: You... you killed Doctor. [TFC Heavy flings his empty firearm away, fist clenched] TFC Heavy: Yeah, you caught that, huh? Two on one. That sound fair to you? You want a fair fight, big man? Now you got one. [The words seem to fall on Heavy's empty ears - his expression turns angier with each word he utters] Heavy: You... KILLED... [Heavy delivers a full hook onto the TFC Heavy, completely enraged] Heavy: ... DOCTOR!

第 124-148 页：士兵的蜂蜜战术 + TFC机枪手站了起来

[The scene then switches to TFC Soldier and TFC Scout in a weapons storage room.] TFC Soldier: Locked and loaded, you got everything you need? TFC Scout: Well... I got bullets in my gun, if that's what you mean. But no, Ross. I don't got everything i need. TFC Soldier: Aw, man. Not this again, Greg. TFC Scout: The boss going crazy? Trying to live forever? It just... How much time do we really have left? TFC Soldier: Greg. I know you're dealing with a lot of stuff right now, but we got men to kill here. TFC Scout: Why? For money? Ross, when has money ever made you happy? TFC Soldier: Aw, man. TFC Scout: What would you give right now to go back and do it all over? Do it right this time. Follow our dream. [TFC Scout stands up, looks at TFC Soldier, and holds his hand on his shoulder] TFC Soldier: Aw, man. TFC Scout: Think about it. That old safehouse in Newark? We clear those grenade crates out... It'd make a hell of an orphanage, wouldn't it? TFC Soldier: Greg... Are we doing this? TFC Scout Let's do this. (Both of the men put a smile on their face) We are going to have an endless supply of kids to... (Then their smiles drop) Ross, why are you covered in gasoline? [TFC Soldier and Scout look up, seeing Pyro who has put on the pilot light of their Flamethrower] [Cuts to Scout and Miss Pauling fighting against swarms of robots] Scout: Where is everybody? We're gettin' frickin' swarmed here! Miss Pauling: I don't know! Did Spy just leave? Scout: Yeah, leavin's about all he's good for, trust me. And what the heck happened to Pyro? He- [A building behind Scout and Miss Pauling explodes] Scout: Oh, there he is. [Scout and Miss Pauling look in a different direction] Scout: Hey, there's Soldier 'n' Zhanna! And they,re... ...they're... [Scout looks disturbed and Miss Pauling somewhat confused] [Cuts to Soldier and Zhanna fighting against robots, both being naked and covered with honey] Soldier: See? What did I tell you? I've done this a million times! The wind on your skin! The looks of terror on your enemy's and teammate's faces! Zhanna: At first I am agreeing with everyone that this is tactically and morally and sanitarily wrong! But now I see! I have never felt so free! [Soldier, on top of a pile of robot bodies, throws a Sniper robot into the air] Soldier: You said it, son! There are no barriers between us and the naked carnage we are committing! [Zhanna looks at a Scout robot about to hit it with a Shovel attached to her arm] Zhanna: Yes! The nudity! The violence! I love you, and I love America! Soldier: Then show these bolt@#$%ers how much you love it, sister! [Zhanna decapitates the Scout robot with a single shovel swing] Zhanna: RRRRAGGH! [Cuts to Scout and Miss Pauling, still confused/disturbed] Scout: Why, uh... Why don't we go fight somewhere less... naked. Miss Pauling: You go ahead. I'll catch you up. [Cut to Saxton Hale and Maggie who are about to fight a squadron of robots] Maggie: Admit it, Sax- You're gonna miss this. [Cut to a stone wall, through which TFC Heavy is suddenly thrown] TFC Heavy: *Kaff kaff* Alright, look! You made your point! Would you stop for a @#$%ing second and listen? *Kaff* I've got an immortality machine. You get what I'm saying here? We could both live for- [Heavy headbutts TFC Heavy, after which he lifts him up and bashes his back against his knee] Heavy: You killed my friend. [TFC Heavy attempts to grab a pistol lying on the ground, which Heavy then kicks away] Heavy: I do not need to live forever. Just long enought to sit here... ...and watch you die. TFC Heavy: NNGH! [Heavy looks behind him to an ominous light] TFC Heavy: You might not wanna sit down just yet, big guy... [Shows TFC Heavy who has put a life-extender machine (The one from Gray Mann) into the hole in his chest that Medic earlier made] TFC Heavy: *Hnn* ...Gettin' this thing workin'... *Hnn* ...was a lot less complicated than I thought.

第 149-188 页：侦察兵的天堂之旅

[Now, the comic cuts to Sniper and Spy, after they killed the TFC Sniper] Sniper: I wonder where the others are... Spy: Yes, I was wondering the same thing. Except about your pants. And when you'll be putting some on. Sniper: It's nothin' but robots and rubble here, mate. We're not exactly sneakin' through a pants store. Spy: I still don't see why you couldn't have stolen pants of the dead man. Sniper: Y'do know what people do in their pants when they die, right? Spy: Yes. I am aware. It would still be preferable. Sniper (Pointing at Spy): 'Ere, I've got an idea. Give us your coat. [Spy looks "shocked"] Sniper: I said give us y- Spy (Interrupting Sniper): I heard... exactly... what you said. Spy, (Now annoyed): Bushman, this is a $10,000 custom-tailored Louis Crabbemarché jacket. The clot is from silkworms raised at a suit microfarm in Tuscany, from a secret pattern passed down by monk tailors since the seventeenth century. I will let you use it as an adult diaper... when you pry it off of my cold, dead... (Spy looks surprised/shocked from something) ...body. [Cuts to Spy and Sniper looking at Scout, who apparently had beaten a bunch of robots] Scout (Looking exhausted): Oh, hey guys. See all these robots? That's me. I did that. Last one got a couple of lucky swings in though. How'm I lookin'? Does it look bad? It looks good right? Yeah, I'll probably be okay. Man, am I tired by the way. Sniper (Looking at Spy, who is disappointing/embarrassed): Mate. Spy: *sigh* Yes. I know. Give us a moment. [Spy goes to talk with Scout] Spy: Scout. There's something I need to tell you. Scout: Yeah? Okey doke. Make it quick though. I am real tired for some reason. Spy: I... I'll be right back. Scout: Okay. (Shining light is directed towards Scout) Oh hey, a bright light, that's somethin' I could walk toward... [The source of light appears to be Tom Jones, whom Spy is presumably disguised as.] Tom Jones: What's new, pussycat? Scout (Being amazed): Oh my god. I knew you'd come, Tom Jones. Tom Jones: Scout... Do you know my hit song, Sex Bomb? Scout: Psh. I'm an alive human on earth ain't I? Check this crap out. [Scout lifts his shirt, showing a "Sex Bomb" tattoo on his chest, spelled incorrectly as "Sex Bom" Tom Jones: It's a Sex Bomb tattoo. Scout: Yeah it is. Tom Jones: Spelled incorrectly. Scout: Yeah it is. Wait, is it? [Tom Jones and Scout both take a more serious look] Tom Jones: Scout, 27 years ago I dropped a "Sex Bomb" on your mother. I was young then, and I ran from the explosion. But now the fallout of that Sex Bomb has caught up with me. This is where the analogy starts to break down, so if it's alright with you I'll retire the Sex Bomb metaphor now. Scout: Yeah, sure. Tom Jones: Thank you. (He sits down next to Scout) You're stronger than you'll ever know, Jeremy. I'm proud of you. I've always been proud of you. Son. Scout (Just about to pass out): Frickin'... awesome. [After Scouts death, Spy removes his disguise, and the screen turns black.] [Then, Scout finds himself, presumably in Heaven, with God (or at least Scouts impersonation of him) himself in front of him.] Scout (Dazed): Whoa! Where am I? God: Boom! You're in Heaven, dummy! [God takes Scout for a walk] God: Thank god you're dead! Now we can finally hang out! You like foosball? Scout: Holy crap, you guys got a foosball table up here? God: "A" foosball table? Oh, dearest child [God shows 3 foosball tables, and a vending machine to Scout] Scout: (Amazed): Three foosball tables! Holy crap, Heaven is the best! God: Scout... can I ask you a favor? Scout: For you, God? Name it. God: Can you... flex for me? Just once? Scout (Talking to himself): Okay... okay... gotta focus... you're flexin' for God here... This is the most important flex you'll ever do probably. Here we go. Let there be... (Scout presumably does a magnificent flex, at least according to God) FLEX God: Too... bright! Too glorious! (Then afterwards) God: So... man to man... The ladies back on earth. They've all lain with you, right? Scout: What? No! Why, were they supposed to? God: What? @#$%ing... yes! You were my GIFT to them! Scout: Geez, that's what I've been saying God: Of all the ungrateful... Ooo, that does it. I am gonna send a... plague, or a flood or... Oh, why even be clever? I'm just going to blow up the earth. Scout: Aw. come on, God. Don't destroy humanity. They're good people at heart. Just a buncha dum-dums tryin' their best. God: *Sigh* Fine. I'll send you back. But I swear, this is their last chance to all have sex with you. Well, you'd better get going. ...Oh, and Scout? Scout: Yeah, God? God: I wish you were my son. Scout: Yeah you do. But I already got a dad. And his name is Tom Jones God: Tom Jones? But your father isn't- (God corrects himself) Oh, right. Yes, Tom Jones. Is... Tom Jones is your father. [Tom Jones appears, coming from presumably a steam room.] Tom Jones: What's new, pussycats? Man, I just dropped a Sex Bomb on that steam room! Say, who's up for some foosball? How about you, young fella? You look like- (Tom Jones then gets necksnapped by an angel) Scout: What was that crackin' noise? God: We're making popcorn you need to go [God farewells Scout as he leaves Heaven] God: See you in December 4th, 1987! Scout: It's a date! Later, guys! [Back at Sniper and Spy about to leave the dead Scout] Sniper: Should we bury 'im? Spy: If you're hiding a Shovel, rinse it off and give it to me. I could use a weapon. [Scout then comes back to life, much to Sniper's amazement, and Spy's disgust:] Scout: *cough* Sniper: Well, I'll be... Spy: You have got to be @#$%ing kidding me.

第 189-225 页：机枪手VS机枪手，医生的地狱之旅

[Cuts to Soldier and Zhanna fighting against robots, still naked and covered in honey] Soldier: There's another wave coming! Lube me up, sweetie! I am going out in a blaze of honey! Zhanna: Bottle is empty. Soldier: What? We cannot fight unlubricated! Then we would just be naked. What else we got? Zhanna: Oh! Here are drums of gasoline! Soldier: Zhanna, you are a genius! Now you can light me on fire! Zhanna: Yes! I will light us both on fire! Soldier: Oh, you are gonna love it! Our eyes will be the first to boil away! The ears will be the next thing to go. (Then they begin to thing about it twice) On second thought do not light us on fire. [A phone is seen ringing] Soldier: Zhanna, look! We killed so many robots Miss Pauling is buried under a pile of them. I am concerned for her! But also proud of us! Zhanna: Yes, she made a worthy sacrifice. She will be missed. Soldier: Right, but... She is clearly still alive. Zhanna: Ugh. Yes, fine. [Zhanna goes to lift Miss Pauling from under the pile of robots] Miss Pauling: ...Phone phone phone phone... Oof. Come on, come on. [Miss Pauling answers the phone; the one calling is the Engineer] Miss Pauling: Administrator! It's Pauling. I'm here. Engineer: H'lo, Miss Pauling. Miss Pauling: Engie? Where have you been? Where are you? Engineer: Well now, I can't say where I am. But I am with her. An' I hate to put a rush on it... ...But I'm gonna need that Australium y'all were lookin' for. Miss Pauling: Engie, it's gone, it's... it's... ...Well, it's sort of in space. I'm so sorry Engineer: Oh, man. This is bad. Miss Pauling: *sigh* Yeah. I know. Look... ...it's my fault. Just... put her on. I'll give her the bad news. Engineer: Well, she can't come to the phone right now. She's dead. I'll have her call ya back. (Engineer ends the call) Miss Pauling: Wait, what? Hello? Engie? [Zhanna comes to see what Miss Pauling is doing] Zhanna: Who is on phone? Miss Pauling: Zhanna, can I tell you a secret? Zhanna: Yes, this is fine. Miss Pauling: I... that was my boss. She's planning something big She's been planning it her whole life. For a lot of lifetimes, actually. And I think I screwed it all up. Zhanna: You have broken something. So you will fix it. And we will help. Miss Pauling: Thanks. And... and I want you to know I'm sorry. For what I said at back there in the submarine. You are a part of the team. Zhanna: Thank you. You are weak woman, but you have strong skull. Miss Pauling, I also want to tell you you a secret. Miss Pauling: What? Um. Yeah. Of course. Zhanna: Stay away from my man. Miss Pauling: What. [Zhanna points at Soldier, still naked, who is presumably inspecting robot pieces, has his (naked) posterior facing Pauling and Zhanna, which Miss Pauling is disgusted by] Zhanna: I see you watching him. I understand. Look at this. Any woman would want this. [Soldier turns upside down, viewing the Miss Pauling and Zhanna from between his legs] Soldier: What are you gals gabbing about? Zhanna: I am telling Miss Pauling I will kill her if she looks at you again. Soldier: I knew it! For shame, Miss Pauling! You are my boss! You have been undressing me with your eyes since we escaped! Miss Pauling: My eyes would have to dress you first! Because you have been literally naked the entire time we've been on this island! Soldier: I have fought naked my whole life. But I have never felt naked until this moment. For shame, Miss Pauling. For shame Miss Pauling: Ugh. You idiots Why can't you be... (Spy, (naked) Sniper, and Scout arrive) ...professionals Soldier: Hello, naked Sniper. Sniper: Hey. [Cut to Heavy and TFC Heavy fighting each other, the TFC Heavy having regained power with the life-extender machine] [TFC Heavy punches Heavy's face with his right hand, and then smacks him in the chest with his left knee] TFC Heavy (grabbing Heavy's neck and head with both hands): Heh heh heh... [Cuts to Medic's corpse with the Heavies fighting in the background] [Zooming in on the corpse's surprised face] Voice: Very impressive, Mr. Ludwig. [Cut to Medic, in Hell, in the front of the Devil] Devil: I've been looking through your file. You've been a real monster up there. Honestly, you probably would have ended up here anyway. I feel silly that we even bothered with a contract. I'd say you got the better of us on this one. Still, a deal's a deal, and here you are. I'm sure you'll find the paperwork in order. (handing Medic the paperwork) If you could just initial by your original signature, we'll get you out of here and on your way to Hell. Medic: (looking at the papers) Yes, let's see... Oh! Now this is interesting. Here in article nine section seven it says the contract is only binding if you own a majority stake in my soul... so... Devil: But... we own all of your soul. You sold it to us. Medic: Ah! Originally, yes, this was the case. But you see, I've since surgically added eight more. However, I do concede that with 1/9th ownership, you have certainly earned a seat on the board of directors of my souls. So! Let's put it to a vote: Who thinks I should go to hell? [After looking at the Medic, Devil raises his hand] Medic: Excellent! So that's one vote for hell and eight for Heaven. If you could call me a car... [The Devil outbursts in rage and flames, with Medic covering his ears and having his eyes closed] Devil: We will... not be... DENIED! Medic: Well... Aheh. There is another option. If you were to send me back to earth, say, for another fifty years... Well. You're a clever man. You tempted me once, after all. I'm sure you'll figure out a way to trick me out of my other eight souls. (Medic looks at a pen on the Devil's desk) In fact: that's a lovely looking pen! [Devil and Medic look at each other, the former confused and the latter grinning] Medic: I said that's a lovely looking pen. Devil: Would you give me a soul for this- Medic: (interrupting) I would! [Medic takes the Devil's pen, while Devil himself looks slightly confused] Medic: (walking away) Ohhhh, what have I done? See, you're well on your way! I don't like my chances. At any rate, I should really get going.

第 226-274 页：终曲

[Back in the real world, TFC Heavy has an upper hand against Heavy] TFC Heavy: I'll give ya this... For a buncha losers, you guys sure are hard to kill. Heavy: You are a coward. TFC Heavy: *HHH* You think I care? Winnin's winnin', pal. Voice *cough* Excuse me. [The voice is revealed to be Medic, back from the dead, and holding the Devil's pen, much to TFC Heavy's suprise] Medic: Could I trouble you for a moment? TFC Heavy: Frankenstein? But I shot- How- Is that a pen? Medic: At one point, yes. Now it's a detonator. More of an inductor, really. I'm terrible at naming things. Either way, it induces labor. TFC Heavy: In what? Medic: (grinning evilly) In the baboon uterus I put inside you. I think I gave you... yes, triplets. Three healthy baboon fetuses. Maybe four! I've lost count. The important thing is when I press this button, they will instantly grow into fully developed baby baboons in your abdomen. On the small end, they're usually about 30 pounds at birth. Although a healthy male can reach up to 80 pounds! And that's without the fertility hormones I've been putting to your rations! So... (putting his hand on the pen) who's ready to be a mother? TFC Heavy (confused): A-Are you kidding me? Medic: Of course I'm kidding you. It's a pen. TFC Heavy: Huh? No- (The distraction created by Medic was enough for Heavy to get up and tear off the life-extender machine out of TFC Heavy's chest) AUUUUUUGH! You... idiots. I could've... I could've lived... ugh... ah, #$%@. [With the TFC Heavy defeated, Heavy and Medic face each other, both smiling] Heavy: Is good to have you back, doctor. Medic: It is good to be back, my friend. Heavy: Heh. Baboon tripets. Steroids. Pregnancy pen. Only you could come up with bluff that insane, doctor. Medic: Oh, it was nothing. Any field Medic worth his bone saw is skilled at the art of improvisation. (Medic looks into his supply pack) Where is... ah! There. (Medic has taken a device out of his pack) Heavy: What is this. Medic: The actual baboon pregnancy inductor. I simply couldn't get to my medical kit in time. [With the Heavy very confused now, Medic continues:] Medic: Three baboons! How preposterous. The human body can gestate one, maybe two baboons at most. (Medic activates the device with a click) Anyway. [The scene then moves to the rest of the team, fighting against the last of the robots, with Soldier and Zhanna putting on clothes] Saxton Hale: And that's the last of the robots, lads! Scout: Look, there's Heavy and Medic! [Miss Pauling approaches the dying TFC Heavy and Heavy next to him, who is enjoying a Sandvich at the time] Miss Pauling: Oh, no. No no no! (Miss Pauling grabs the remains of the life-extender machine) Not this too! It's... It's all gone. TFC Heavy: How... the Hell... did you beat us? We spent six months huntin' down her best. Echelon. Citadel. Team Vanguard, for God's sake. We got 'em all. We beat her. All she had left was you rejects. How... the Hell... Miss Pauling: You wanna know how we beat you? I honestly have no #£%@# clue. Maybe it was just luck. Maybe it was something else. Medic (interrupting): It's because we don't have souls. Miss Pauling: What? Medic: Well, they don't. But– Nothing, carry on. Miss Pauling: I don't know what to tell you. But either way... [Cuts to show the entire TF team, with the addition of others: Maggie, Saxton Hale, Soldier, Zhanna, Heavy, Medic (who is holding a baboon baby), Miss Pauling, Spy, Scout, Pyro, Demoman and Sniper] Miss Pauling: We're Team Fortress and you're dead. [TFC Heavy looks confused, after which he dies] Miss Pauling (to Spy): Nice. I managed to get the whole speech out before he died this time. Spy: You're getting very good at saying horrible things to dying men, Miss Pauling. Miss Pauling: Right? [Screen turns black, after which an advanced life-extender machine is turned on, which revives the Administrator, and shows Engineer and the Administrator in a facility in the middle of a desert] Administrator: How long? Engineer: 'Bout four hours this time. Talked to Pauling. The New Zealand cache is gone. Administrator: How much do we have left? Engineer: Uh... well. This. (holding a vial of Australium) This here's the last bit of Australium on earth, ma'am. Administrator: No. No, that's unacceptable. We'll simply have to find more. Engineer: Ma'am. There is no more. Administrator: (facing the glass window) There is always more, Mister Conagher. We just have to find it. 'Engineer: I don't think you're hearin me, ma'am. Not this time. It's gone Administrator: Shut... (Administrator scratches the glass) ...Up! (she punches the glass, which shows cracks from the impact) Administrator: (rubbing her bloodied hand) Mister Conagher... Would you escort me to my private quarters, please? [In the Administrator's private quarters, Engineer is enjoying himself a, probably coffee, while the Administrator is browsing a wardrobe] 'Engineer: Ma'am, I... I know this ain't easy. But with the mark 5, this much could still getcha five, six months of life. Administrator: It's not just for me. Engineer: Right. That "old debt" you been settlin'. You think maybe it's time you told me about that? My family's been working for you for... well, a long damn time. You never told me. An' I never asked. I am sorry that whatever you were tryin' to accomplish here, you didn't get to. I truly am. But ma'am, it is over. Administrator: No. You're right. I've tried to keep this going as long as I could. I... I even thought I was done once. I still crave it... (The Administrator looks at the vial of Australium...) ...As much as I did when I was a little girl. (looking at presumably her young self-reflection on the glass vial) I don't think I'll ever stop wanting it. It's become... everything. But you're right. It's over. And if I'm going to call an end to all of it... well... (Engineer looks at the Administrator and drops his cup out of shock, spilling its contents) Well. Why not look my best? Engineer: You used all of it? Ma'am! You... you just cut yourself down from six months to an hour! If you're lucky! [Engineer is shocked about what the Administrator, who now looks like a young lady, with her eyes glowing the colour of the element, has not only done, but is about to do] Administrator: More than enough time. Let's end this. Once and for all. TO BE CONCLUDED