User:The Awesomatorist

Hello! My name is The Awesomatorist, and I am a major grammar stickler. Do you remember that one English teacher from your school that handed F's out like they were party favors, and beared a slight resemblance to Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket?

Yeah, she was a puppy compared to me.

Most of my work here involves correcting your mistakes and making snarky comments. Since I do not like work, this user page is a crash course in not being stupid. There are admittedly better guides to the English language out there, but this one is designed to address only what you need to edit this wiki.

Spelling

Homophones

Also known as "those two words that sound the same but have completely different meanings".

Its, It's, and Its'

• Its is a modifier that denotes the object in question belongs to "it".
• It's is a contraction of "it is". "Don't run, it's just ham!"
• Its' is not a word.

They're, Their, and There

• They're is a contraction of "they are". "I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags."
• Their is a modifier that denotes the object in question belongs to "them".
• There is a place that is not here. It can also be used in a more abstract manner: "There can only be one!""

You're and Your

• You're is a contraction of "you are".
• Your is a modifier that denotes the object in question belongs to "you". "So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

Loose and Lose

While not technically homophones, this one is still way too common.

• Loose is an adjective that means "not tight". "Loose Canon is an awesome comic."
• Lose is a verb that means the opposite of "win".

Grammar

The Split Infinitive

An infinitive is a verb in the form of "to ___"; i.e. "to run" or "to gib". A split infinitive occurs when you put an adverb between "to" and the verb. "To boldly go" is wrong, and while saying "to go boldly" might tick off a couple of Trekkies, it's the correct form.

Proper Style

The Oxford Comma

Which of the following is correct: "The offensive classes in Team Fortress 2 are the Scout, the Soldier and the Pyro," or "the offensive classes in Team Fortress 2 are the Scout, the Soldier, and the Pyro"? Fuck if I know. You see, that little bolded thing up there in the second quote is called the Oxford comma (or the serial comma by people who dropped out of Oxford). Some people say it's unnecessary. My high school sophomore English teacher said magazine printers conspire to keep it out so they can save ink and money. The AP Stylebook says it's a no-no, the Chicago Manual of Style recommends using it. For the purposes of this wiki, do whatever seems right.