User:Kibblekip/Sandbox/WAR! Comic

This comic was released in multiple parts. As such, the transcript has been split into each respective part.

Part 1 - Administrator

[The comic begins one week prior, with the Administrator in her surveillance room — smoking — while watching several camera feeds. She plugs her microphone into a socket marked 'BLU (All)'] Administrator: *Blue CHKT* Alert, blue team! Our control point is being contested! [She moves the plug to a socket marked 'RED (All)'] Administrator: *Red CHKT* Well done, red team. You have captured the control point. [She plugs back in to the socket marked 'BLU (All)'] Administrator: *Blue CHKT* Capture our Control Point, blue team! [Then plugs back in to the socket arked 'RED (All)'] Administrator: *Red CHKT* Red team! Defend our control point! Hm. Well now. What's that Spy up to? *Blue CHKT* Alert! A RED Spy is in the base! [She unplugs the microphone, looking at the video feed of a BLU Soldier, with a secondary feed showing a dead BLU Scout] Soldier: A RED Spy is in the base? Administrator: Ugh. The Scout, you idiots. He's disguised as the Scout. Is there a problem, Miss Pauling? [A figure, Miss Pauling, appears behind her, holding some papers] Miss Pauling: Um. What... makes you say- Administrator: Because you're hovering. And you only hover when there's a problem. Let's have it. Miss Pauling: We did a background check on the mercenaries. Standard protocol, nothing- Administrator: Anytime today, please. Miss Pauling: Um. It's the... BLU Soldier and RED Demoman. It looks like they've become... ...friends, Administrator. [The Administrator's eye twitches, appauled by the news. A series of images are laid across the Administrator's desk, showing the BLU Soldier and RED Demoman engaging in a variety of friendly activities together] Administrator: For how long? How did we not know about this? Miss Pauling: Within the last six months, Administrator. As far as we can tell, they met at a projectile weapons expo. It, uh... seems to have blossomed into a lifelong friendship. [Angle changes to show the Administrator with an anguished expression, and Miss Pauling with a mildly happy expression] Miss Pauling: Heh. You know, forgetting for a minute that we don't condone friendship, it's sort of... [The Administrator gives the side-eye, with Miss Pauling's expression changing to mild worry.] Miss Pauling: Almost... uh... reprehensible. Totally and completely reprehensible. Administrator: We are in agreement, Miss Pauling. This friendship is a profound betrayal of our trust. Why, friends could easily... hm. [The Administrator looks off to the side, with a concerned Miss Pauling still behind her] Administrator: Miss Pauling, you strike me as the sort of person who would have friends. Tell me... what do they do? Miss Pauling: Um. Go skating... look at gun catalogs... sometimes we just talk... [Glaring back in disgust, the Administrator takes her cigarette out of her mouth] Administrator: Talking? Friendship is even worse than I thought. No, this won't do at all. If the talk, Miss Pauling, they might talk about work. And if they talk about work... [She squints] Administrator: They might talk about us. [The scene pans out to show the Administrator fully, turned away from her desk, with a cloud of smoke above her. Miss Pauling stands to the side of the desk] Administrator: This is what we will do. Call Mister Hale. Tell him that we have some custom orders for him. Tell him money is no object. And tell him we need them right now. Miss Pauling: Yes, ma'am. Anything else? Administrator: Open channels to our two new best friends. I have a proposition for each of them. In my experience, Miss Pauling, nothing kills a friendship faster... [The camera angle shifts to show both of them looking at two screens, one with the BLU Soldier, and the other the RED Demoman] Administrator: ...than a healthy competition.

Part 2 - Saxton Hale
[A plane is shown flying through the air, cutting through the clouds]