User:Kibblekip/Sandbox/True Meaning/Transcript

True Meaning

[The comic opens to the RED Engineer reading from a book named 'The Story of Australian Christmas'. In the background is some socks and a single metallic shoe, as well as a tree made of antlers with health and ammo packs underneath it. Grenades and knives can be seen dangling from the tree] Engineer: ...and so Ol' Nick spied on the children of the world, seein' for himself who was naughty... and who was nice. To the nice children, Ol' Nick gave the greatest gift of all... ...not abductin' 'em. The naughty children though... heh. Nick swooped them right up. Now, on this particular night, three wiseguys were pokin' around the South Pole. Ol' Nick, y'see, loved to bet on college basketball. And I ain't gonna lie to you. He had borrowed a lot of money from the Mafia. [The angle shifts, revealing the Engineer is reading to the RED Pyro, sitting cross-legged with head in their hands] Engineer: Those mobsters were just about to give up the hunt, when up in that cold night sky they saw a star. The brightest star they ever saw. So they followed it. And after a spell they saw a sight that filled 'em with wonder... Ol' Nick, forcin' a buncha naughty kids to make all manner of guns, smack dab in the middle of Antarctica. And so began the legendary Australian Christmas Shootout between Ol' Nick an' the mobsters. [Engineer notices a bright light outside of the window. Both he and Pyro go to the window to see it better] Engineer: And they say on Australian Christmas Eve night, if you look into the sky, you can still see the light on that sweatshop smoke sack... ...shinin' brightly in the heavens as a beacon to low-flyin' aircraft and the Mafia. [The light intensifies] Engineer: ...and headin' directly at us. [Suddenly, the side of the building is destroyed, leaving a fiery, smokey wreck in the middle of the room. Engineer and Pyro are to both sides of the wreck, having narrowly avoided the wreck, trying to see through the smoke] Engineer: Huh. Pyro, I don't wanna getchyer hopes up... [The smoke clears somewhat, revealing the wreck to be a rocket. A 'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS' sound emits from the wreckage] Engineer: ...but we mighta just adopted ourselves a super baby. [They inspect the rocket, with a CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAK sound indicating the rocket being opened] Engineer: Huh. Or not. 'Less there's a baby under all these space guns. [Pyro holds up a futuristic looking weapon, as Engineer picks up a letter from inside the ship] Engineer: Lessee here... "Greetings, emissary from another dimension! We have heard your plea." Pyro, you been writin' letters to other dimensions? Pyro: Mmm-mmmh Engineer: Naw, me neither. Looks like I might wanna start, though. Some sorry plea-hearin' mother hubbard out there owes me a new house. TO BE CONTINUED