The Naked and the Dead
| The Naked and the Dead | |
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| Comic Strip Info | |
| Released: | January 10th, 2017 |
| Number of pages: | 274 |
| Artist: | makani |
| Writer: | Jay Pinkerton & Erik Wolpaw |
| Colorist: | Maren Marmulla |
The Naked and the Dead (also known as Team Fortress Comics #6) is a comic released on January 10th, 2017. It is the penultimate issue of a seven-part comic series, picking up where Old Wounds left off.
Synopsis
| Page 1-55: Miss Pauling's Team VS Robots |
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| The story begins with Miss Pauling lying face-down in the middle of a golden desert. Upon awakening, she spots a single unlocked door standing in the middle of nowhere; once she opens it, she is greeted by the Administrator, who sits in the middle of a control room lit green by multiple monitors, all of which show live footage of her face. She answers Miss Pauling's confused questions by explaining that this is the afterlife; they are both dead, and Miss Pauling has failed the Administrator's mission. Miss Pauling bluntly accept this fact, even informing her that all of the world's Australium was gone, but, given that she already failed the mission and was determined to understand the Administrator's motive behind the war after a decade of unyielding trust, asks the Administrator "what it is she wants". The Administrator simply replies with a grim "Blood. It's not enough. Give me more", with her voice echoing to Miss Pauling while she watches helplessly as the monitors begin to flicker with her own horrified expression.
The comic cuts immediately to the outside of the TFC base, where Old Wounds left off. The previous events were all simply a hallucination by Miss Pauling, who regains consciousness to find the Medic calling for Zhanna to "give him more blood" in order to save Miss Pauling and the Soldier. When asked how the Medic managed to save their lives when they were presumably dead from the TFC team's blood-draining robots, the Medic simply responds that he collected all of the blood drained by the robots and put it back into their bodies, while literally dumping a bucket of blood and debris into a smiling Soldier's open chest, much to Miss Pauling's disgust. When further questioned if he had even separated each of their blood types, the Medic quietly mentions that he used his own underwear to sponge up the blood, and that the blood type would be the least of their problems as of now. As explanations go down, Miss Pauling catches a glimpse of the Demoman wildly taking on a bunch of robots all by himself; the Medic reasons that the high alcoholic content of the Demoman's blood must have given the robots alcohol poisoning, thus weakening them. However, Miss Pauling notes that the Demoman had not taken a single drop of alcohol since arriving on the island, making it impossible that he could be drunk. At this moment, the comic immediately cuts to a hallucination being experienced by the Demoman, in which he commands his heart to convert his various organs into distilleries after inventing a way to ferment his bone marrow. His liver even returns after leaving during the events of Old Wounds, and makes up with the Demoman by sharing a romantic kiss with him. Meanwhile in the TFC base, a frustrated TFC Heavy is seen holding Gray Mann's Life-Extender machine and watching the events unfold on a large screen, loudly questioning how his team of trained mercenaries were being defeated by a bunch of "morons" and "lunatics". The TFC Engineer (named Fred) interrupts his thoughts, and asks how he and his coworkers would be paid if they already killed Gray Mann, their employer. The TFC Heavy bluntly responds that he should stop worrying about money when they had a life machine in their hands, but the TFC Engineer rebuttals by arguing that he can't make more life machines, especially since the device was "more biology than engineering". Without turning away from the monitor, the TFC Heavy asks what the TFC Engineer can do, with his response being that he could turn all of Gray Mann's old robots on again. Grabbing the TFC Engineer by the collar, the TFC Heavy demands that he does so immediately. The scene cuts back to outside the base, with the Heavy and Scout parachuting from Saxton Hale's plane and reuniting with Miss Pauling, Medic and Demoman. Scout is elated upon seeing Miss Pauling again, immediately complimenting how she looked (despite Miss Pauling being covered in blood and losing weight from blood loss). Eventually, Scout just admits that he's glad to see her safe before embracing her - an action which forces the blood inside Miss Pauling to spurt out of her eye sockets, which Medic then advises not to do. Heavy is also reunited with his sister Zhanna, and is taken aback by why she's following the team, along with the mysterious disappearance of her left hand; she explains that removing her hand was necessary "to kill woman torturing her" (the TFC Pyro). Heavy accepts the explanation, but then notices the necklace of ears around her neck. Heavy quietly murmurs "Sister, NO." before Soldier comes up and hits him in the chest playfully, breaking the news that that he would officially be his "brother-in-law" (and Heavy becoming Soldier's grandfather if he "impregnated" Heavy's sister, as Zhanna mentions). A while later, Scout gives Miss Pauling a rather self-centered breakdown of the events back at Ayers Rock, including how it was a fake rock hiding the final (and completely missing) stash of Australium. Miss Pauling asks if he knew who took the Australium, and Scout admits that they had nothing except Saxton Hale, who they found while at the stash and was presumably standing right behind him. However, turning around revealed that Saxton Hale was nowhere to be found; instead, a battalion of whirring robots mercenaries were standing right behind them the entire time. In actuality, Saxton Hale and Maggie were still in their plane, too engrossed with reminiscing their old escapades to remember jumping of their plane to accompany Heavy and Scout (who had jumped out an hour ago). Their bonding time is broken by the calls of their pilot Jerry, who notifies them that they are out of fuel. After Saxton Hale admits to Maggie that time always flies when they chat, he prepares some airborne cargo for dropoff while suggesting that she should accompany him once Gray Mann's Australium is back in their hands and Charles Darling gives Mann Co. back. Maggie shows sadness as she puts on her parachute, and doesn't respond to Hale's offer. As Hale and Maggie prepare to jump, Miss Pauling, Scout, Soldier, Demoman, and Heavy are seen in the middle of a bridge, slowly being surrounded by robots. Soldier first laughs at the fact that these "cans" were only grouping on one side, only to turn around and realize they were on both sides, then admitting that they were going to die. Scout adds that if he had a gun, he would shoot Soldier before the robots got them, which prompts the Heavy to ask where Saxton Hale even went. Scout begins to call Hale a big hairy coward who couldn't be trusted, but is interrupted mid-sentence by a crate landing squarely on his head. Holding the crate, Scout attempts to read the crate's printed text (Mann Co. Submachine Guns) but fails repeatedly, making Miss Pauling ask if he could read faster as crates begin raining from the sky. At this moment, the team looks up and watch as Saxton Hale, Maggie, and their screaming pilot Jerry finally parachute down with their cargo, providing every class their respective weapons. Even Heavy's Minigun arrives, breaking its crate from the fall. With a smirk and a comment that he missed "Sasha"'s voice, the team run into the fray, finally able to fight back against the robots. |
| Page 56-97: TFC Sniper VS Sniper and Spy |
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| Right as they begin fighting, a scope is seen zooming and locking onto the Heavy's head, with a voice muttering if the "Fat man wants to go first". This turns out to be the TFC Sniper at a vantage point by a window, aiming through his rifle's sights. Just as he's about to give the killing blow, several knocks on the door outside interrupt his focus. Swearing, the TFC Sniper states that whoever was knocking was costing him a headshot, only for the outside voice to stress that he needs to be let in, as three of the Classic team were dead and their boss was pissed. With an air of doubt, the TFC Sniper opens his door with the codeword "Apricot", revealing the person to be the TFC Engineer. The TFC Engineer immediately asks the TFC Sniper to pack up, which only surprises the TFC Sniper, as he had a perfect sightline in this room to kill the TF2 mercenaries who just recently obtained guns. The TFC Engineer gets updated of the situation, including Saxton Hale falling out of the sky with crates.
At this point, the camera moves out of the room, showing the stitched-up Sniper hiding outside the door and holding a large plank in the shadows; this reveals to the reader that the TFC Engineer was, in fact, the Spy in a disguise. The Spy's acting seemed to work, with him convincing the TFC Sniper that the parachuting muscular man was probably what the boss wanted to talk about, and that their boss had a plan. The TFC Sniper agrees and suggests that they should move; however, he immediately closes the door with the codeword "Apricot", shooting the Spy in the knee with a revolver; this causes the Spy's disguise to fade away, and the Sniper to rush away from the room and down a flight of stairs, muttering a panicked "Bugger." with every step. The frightened and wounded Spy, sprawled on the floor clutching his bleeding knee, begins to shout "Apricot" in an attempt to open the door, which fails. The TFC Sniper, somewhat amused, addresses the Spy by questioning the logic behind his boss asking his sniper to see him, then sending him straight back to his nest and wasting time while a firefight is already going on. With Spy only responding by yelling the codeword over and over, the TFC Sniper advises him to choose some better last words. Outside the room, the Sniper bashes down a wooden door, leaving blood on the floor and getting weak from his stitches. He lifts himself and breaks through a window pane in the new room he opened, but swears as the window catches and pulls his pants off on the way out. Back with the TFC Sniper and Spy, the TFC Sniper admits that the Spy put on a convincing TFC Engineer act, which would have fooled him if not for his robotic replacement eyes, which the TFC Engineer designed and were able to see through everything (even his eyelids, which prevented him from sleeping every day). Seemingly giving up, the Spy requests if he would be given the chance to smoke a final cigaratte, which the TFC Sniper obliges, though only with his own and not the Spy's (in case it was a cyanide one), as he wanted to take his time killing him. Unbeknownst to the TFC Sniper, the completely naked Sniper was slowly edging his way directly outside the balcony, leaving an obvious trail of blood as he does so. The sound of Sniper entering the open window and picking up his rifle jerks the TFC Sniper into noticing him, causing the TFC Sniper to sigh and raise his hands up in an act of surrender. He begins to advise him to think this through, as he was sitting on something (presumably a bomb); however, Sniper shows no sign of hesitance and kills him mid-sentence, proving that it was all just an act. Spy, though relieved to have been saved from the hands of death, reminds him that "You snipers are the worst people on the planet". Sniper pushes that comment away by mentioning that the TFC Sniper wasn't a sniper, but a "sadist", as true snipers don't waste time with gutshots and monologues; they simply take the shot. Spy sarcastically call him a "credit to the institution of shooting people far away", but lets a passing comment go by that the others might have liked torturing him first. Sniper simply sits down beside him and says he should speak up before he blew his brains out, then asks to have a cigarette. Both men spend some time bleeding and enjoying a cigarette each, before Sniper asks how they would get out of the building. |
| Page 87- :TFC Heavy VS Heavy and Medic |
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| Outside, Medic is seen helping Demoman stitch up a wound in his leg while the latter drinks from what seems to be a bottle of booze. Demoman passes the time by asking the events of how Sniper came back to life, and whether Medic was the one who shot him and brought him back to life. Halfway through, Medic asks if he could borrow the hydrogen peroxide, which Demoman hands to him (the same bottle he was drinking from). Demoman continues to casually ask questions, now wondering why Medic could revive an entire man but not bring his eye back; Medic answers that he actually can, and the procedure was quite simple. Demoman (after drinking and having a drunken pause), answers with a surprised "What." and gets up, angry that Medic did not fix his eye this entire time; however, Medic further explains that he had tried at least eight times, with each time having his eye functioning good as new until Halloween, in which it mutates and tries to kill everyone - the team had to fight off his giant eye, a brain-in-a-jar eye, a knife-wielding ventriloquist eye, and one eye which attempted to go back in time to become their parents. Medic's conclusion: Demoman's eye socket was haunted, and could not be fixed fully. When questioned why he cannot remember any of this, Medic responds that he scooped out the part of Demoman's brain that kept asking the question. Demoman pauses mid-thought, but decides that answer was fine, and keeps drinking the bottle of hydrogen peroxide until he realizes that he does remember what is going on now, in which the Medic responds by claiming "brain-scooping isn't an exact science", and that Demoman should just try not to remember things. Demoman takes his advice and tries to forget - causing him to have a nosebleed and completely forget the previous events, even who Medic is. With that, Medic sends Demoman out to battle again, and tells him that he should see how the new implanted brain in his new leg works for him. |
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Trivia
- Parts of several classes' names are mentioned for the first time.
- The Spy calls the Scout "Jeremy" while he is disguised as Tom Jones.
- The "Devil" addresses the Medic as Mr. Ludwig, a common German name.
- On Page 80, the Sniper is seen picking up his default Sniper Rifle from where the TFC Sniper was previously sitting, despite the TFC Sniper using a different Sniper Rifle (a jet-black one with a blue lens).
- The Demoman is seen drinking from a bottle of hydrogen peroxide on Page 88. However, hydrogen peroxide is only safe to consume if highly diluted with water (3% per bottle) and in small amounts, as it can induce vomiting and foaming in the stomach.
- On Page 155, the Spy mentions that his jacket is made by a brand named Louis Crabbemarché. Loosely translated, "Crabbemarché" is French for "crab walking", a homage to the Spycrab fad, while "Louis" is a reference to the designer brand Louis Vuitton.
- When the Scout jokingly mentions that his father is Tom Jones, his personification of "God" interrupts his own sentence before unconvincingly correcting himself and saying that the Scout's dad was definitely Tom Jones. This continues the running gag and theory that the Spy is the Scout's biological father.
- The scene in which Saxton Hale jumps out of his plane with Jerry clinging onto Maggie and screaming on the way down is similar to Page 7 of Ring of Fired.
- On Page 256, the Medic is seen cradling a bandana-wearing baby baboon in the background, seemingly hinting at the success of his "Baboon Pregnancy Inducer" and the TFC Heavy's fate.
Cover page
- The cover page for this comic is based on the cover of Crisis on Infinite Earths Book 7.
- The Medic is shown with two large wounds that would fit the injuries made by the TFC team's robots, instead of the Pistol wounds caused in the comic itself.
- The background showcases every notable character who has made an appearance in Team Fortress 2 comics and media, excluding several characters such as Francis the Talking France.
- There is a lamp wearing a Magistrate's Mullet on the left side, above the Heavy Robot. This is a reference to Page 22 of Unhappy Returns, where the Scout mentions that he once had a lamp for a public defendant.
