Non-player characters

“

You're that wee lass, works with the angry lady who's always screamin' at us while we fight. — The RED Demoman to Miss Pauling

”

Non-player characters are those characters in the Team Fortress 2 setting which are not one of the nine playable ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-0~!~!~!~. While most are uninvolved in gameplay, they still add extra background to the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-1~!~!~!~

TF Industries and Subsidiaries

The Administrator

See ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-2~!~!~!~.

Blutarch and Redmond Mann

“

I have mounted an epic campaign of leisure against the ravages of time. Waiting for nature to do to my brother what my men could not. And yet here we are at the end. And he...won't...DIE. — Blutarch Mann discussing his war against his brother.

”

Blutarch Mann and Redmond Mann are the sons of Zepheniah Mann. They are the owners of ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-3~!~!~!~ and ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-4~!~!~!~, respectively. The two sons have been engaged in a lifelong feud with each other over the control of the vast lands left to them by their father. After Zepheniah Mann's death, both Blutarch and Redmond hired a team of 9 mercenaries to quickly defeat the other sibling, taking control of his lands. As their forces were evenly matched, the situation quickly devolved into a protracted stalemate, leading both Blutarch and Redmond to look to Radigan Conagher for a life-extending machine, each brother hoping to outlive the other, as neither could win the battle by using brute force. Looking how Blutarch hasn't aged well, it is a good guess that Redmond would look almost the very same way. Their hats bear a strong resemblance to the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-5~!~!~!~'s hat, the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-6~!~!~!~.

• Blutach and Redmond first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-125~!~!~!~.

• 

  Blutarch Mann, circa 1960.

• 

  Redmond Mann in his ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-7~!~!~!~, circa 1960.

• 

  Blutarch Mann in 1850.

• 

  Redmond Mann in 1850.

Trivia

• A silhouette of Redmond is seen sitting in a chair faced toward machinery (presumably the life-extender machine Radigan built) in an inaccessible part of the Red spawn room of the latest Halloween map, ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-8~!~!~!~. Accessing this room via noclip reveals that only the parts of Redmond visible outside the room, his arm and head, are actually modeled.
  • In the room containing Point C in Mann Manor, a painting of a muscular, grinning Redmond can be seen. Beside him stands an evil, gremlin-like representation of Blutarch. A similar portrait (in which the roles of Blutarch and Redmond are reversed) can be seen in Blutarch Mann's room, in the Loose Canon comic
• Blutarch's unnamed aid is approximately 140 years old today. During the Loose Canon comic she would have been approximately 65 years old.

Elizabeth

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-9~!~!~!~

“

Who I am does not concern you. — Elizabeth's unknown relation

”

Elizabeth, whose last name is currently unknown, was Zepheniah Mann's hand servant. Upon his death, he left her the majority of his estate, including all of his deeds, accounts and debts. She is the first known ancestor of Helen to be involved in Administrating the RED and BLU teams.

• Elizabeth first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-126~!~!~!~.

Emily?

In the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-10~!~!~!~ comic, a woman that bears a striking resemblance to Elizabeth convinced Radigan to construct two additional Life Extender Machines, not only the single one for Blutarch as originally requested. She bribed Radigan with ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-11~!~!~!~. It is unknown how she obtained one hundred pounds of the element. It is assumed that Elizabeth is her mother, although her name and ancestry are never revealed. If this is the case, then the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-12~!~!~!~, Helen, could be her grand daughter, and ownership of TF Industries could have been passed down through the generations.

• Original "printings" of the comic show Elizabeth as being named 'Emily', leading one to assume that this was the intended name of Elizabeth's daughter, with the two characters perhaps being confused by the letterer. It appears that Emily may have been in some way a love interest of Redmond Mann. Though presumably non-canon, cp_manor_event has a hidden artistic portrait of Emily added as an easter egg. The canonicity of this is unconfirmed.

Miss Pauling

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-13~!~!~!~

“

Oh, and Mr. DeGroot? Your friend's employers made him the same offer. — Miss Pauling instigates the war between Tavish DeGroot & Jane Doe

”

Miss Pauling is a loyal assistant to the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-14~!~!~!~. She performs a number of duties including reporting unusual background checks, ordering and delivery of goods and opening communication channels. It was during a routine background check that Miss Pauling discovered the RED Demoman and BLU Soldier's friendship, which she then brought to the Administrator's attention. Miss Pauling generally complies with her employer's views for fear of incurring her wrath, even if she does not necessarily agree with them. When pressed by the Administrator on what exactly friends do, her reply was "Um. Go skating...look at gun catalogs....sometimes we just talk..." She insists the Administrator is "not so bad when you get to know her."

Under the Administrator's orders, she personally delivered a number of highly volatile custom-order ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-15~!~!~!~ weapons to the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-16~!~!~!~ and ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-17~!~!~!~ in exchange for separately agreeing to kill one another.

On the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-127~!~!~!~ by the Administrator, it is stated that Miss Pauling gifted the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-18~!~!~!~ to all owners of Team Fortress 2 for the holidays, much to the Administrator's disgust.

• Miss Pauling first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-128~!~!~!~.

Mr. Bidwell

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-19~!~!~!~

“

Tears were brought to the eyes, sir. Your breakfast steak. — Mr. Bidwell proving his culinary skills.

”

Mr. Bidwell is one of Saxton Hale's assistants, along with Mr. Reddy. His duties appear to include preparing Hale's meals (including breakfast steak), and dealing with customer feedback. Mr. Bidwell is the creator of the new-look Mann Co. Weapons Catalogue, acting as a liaison between the manufacturers of various products and Mann Co. During his first appearance, Bidwell sported a handlebar mustache, however this was later shaved off.

• Mr. Bidwell first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-129~!~!~!~.

Mr. Reddy

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-20~!~!~!~

“

You're now the sixth richest man in America, Mr. Hale. — Mr. Reddy putting his accounting degree to good use.

”

Mr. Reddy is one of Saxton Hale's assistants, along with Mr. Bidwell. His duties appear to include dealing with Mann Co.'s accounts and taking Hale's calls. Under Hale's orders, Mr. Reddy sent the five richest men in America congratulatory bouquets and "You're a dead man" form letters. During his first appearance, Reddy sported a thick box car mustache, however this was later shaved off.

• Mr. Reddy first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-130~!~!~!~.

Mysterious Individual

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-21~!~!~!~

“

This is the place. — Mysterious Individual upon locating the BLU Soldier's apartment.

”

The Mysterious Individual is, as the name suggests, a mysterious individual. He was shown locating the BLU Soldier's Apartment and delivering a message to him via a tv screen broadcasting the Administrator during the WAR! Update. He was hired by the Administrator to find the BLU Soldier and get him to turn against his friend, the RED Demoman, leading to the belief that he is a Spy for TF Industries.

• The Mysterious Individual first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-131~!~!~!~.

Saxton Hale

See ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-22~!~!~!~.

Silas Mann

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-23~!~!~!~

See also ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-24~!~!~!~.

“

R.I.P. SILAS MANN — Silas Mann's not entirely accurate gravestone.

”

The presumed brother of Zepheniah Mann, Silas' history within the family is shrouded in mystery. What is known is that he was the co-owner of Zepheniah Mann & Sons. Quarterly Concern, the company that would eventually become ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-25~!~!~!~. His contributions to the company appear to include ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-26~!~!~!~ and ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-27~!~!~!~s. Silas perished shortly after his brother, but death was not the end for him. He now roams ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-28~!~!~!~ as the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-29~!~!~!~, similarly to how Zepheniah haunts ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-30~!~!~!~ as a glowing blue spirit. The portrait of Silas Mann can be found by clicking on the grave stone on the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-132~!~!~!~ Update page.

• Silas Mann first appeared on the original Engineer update page, on a clipping of the Zephaniah Mann & Sons Co. Quarterly Concern ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-133~!~!~!~.

Unknown Individual

In the mostly complete family portrait, another person can be seen in between the gap of the two pieces. The name of this person is unknown and he has yet to be referenced. He can be seen ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-134~!~!~!~. In his portrait he appears to be holding something in his left arm but the object can not be identified.

• The Unknown Individual first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-135~!~!~!~.

RED and BLU Family Members

BLU Scout's Mother

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-31~!~!~!~

“

BLU Scout: "What're you? President of his fan-club?" BLU Spy: "No... that would be your mother!" — The "BLU Scout" and the BLU Spy discuss the RED Spy's sexual liasions

”

The ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-32~!~!~!~'s Mother is briefly mentioned and shown in ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-33~!~!~!~. She raised the Scout and his seven "mad-dog" brothers in South Boston and somehow, still managed to keep her figure. She is in a romantic relationship with the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-34~!~!~!~ ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-35~!~!~!~, who lovingly calls her 'ma petite chou-fleur' (French, lit. 'My little cauliflower', although a more accurate English translation would be 'My sweetheart'), although sounding like 'ma petit chaud fleur'. The ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-36~!~!~!~ Scout was apparently shocked to learn of this relationship, though his actual feelings on the matter are unknown as he was in fact the RED Spy disguised as the BLU Scout at the time. The Scout's Mom wears a classic late 60's style dress and hairstyle. In her photo appearance, she wears only blue clothing, so it could be assumed that the RED Scout's mother probably wears red in theme with her son's team color as well. Seven compromising photos of her and the RED Spy are kept in a top secret file labeled 'Scout's Mom' in the BLU base. She is notably the only female character yet to be modeled, assuming the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-37~!~!~!~ is male. The Spy had a likeness of her engraved on the barrel of the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-38~!~!~!~.

• The BLU Scout's Mother first appeared in ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-136~!~!~!~.

Mrs. DeGroot

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-39~!~!~!~

“

Yer da walked fifteen miles in the rain to blow up the Queen of England for a Nickel! — Mrs. DeGroot on the family trade

”

The ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-40~!~!~!~'s Mother, Mrs. DeGroot, is a blind, elderly woman who reminisces constantly about the Demoman's late father. Even with her son's multi-million dollar salary and mansion, she still thinks he does not work hard enough, claiming that the Demoman's Father would be spinning in his grave at his idleness and had 26 jobs. She insisted on bringing up the Demoman Scottish, and does not like to see him "squandering his gifts." She also comments: "No Demoman worth his sulfur ever had an eye in his head past thirty!"

She, along with the Demoman's father, collected the young Tavish from the Crypt Grammar School for Orphans, revealing themselves as his true parents. They explained that he was abandoned at birth until his skills manifested themselves, a longstanding, cruel, and wholly unnecessary tradition among the Highland Demolition Men.

• Mrs. DeGroot first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-137~!~!~!~.

Radigan Conagher

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-41~!~!~!~

“

"...Alright" — Radigan Conagher on monster-building-requests

”

The ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-42~!~!~!~'s Grandfather, Radigan Conagher, was hired by Blutarch Mann to build a machine to extend his life past his brother's. He agrees to build the machine for Blutarch. Later on he is approached by a woman, who bears a similar appearance to that of The ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-43~!~!~!~. She offers him ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-44~!~!~!~ to build Blutarch's Machine, under the stipulation that he covertly builds an identical machine for Redmond as well. Radigan Conagher also seemed to have been obsessed with Abraham Lincoln. In the first edition of ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-138~!~!~!~, several pages of notes can be seen that are totally dedicated to inventing an object that could have saved Lincoln from John Wilkes Booth. Some devices include: a hat that would shoot at the attacker, a chair that would swing over and under a balcony away from the attacker, and a ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-45~!~!~!~.

Radigan goes through a drastic transformation as shown in the hidden links of The ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-46~!~!~!~. He seems to have grown taller, grown a mustache, gotten stronger,and has a fond thirst for beer. This matches the qualities of the stereotypical Australians in TF2. This is probably due to his exposure with ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-47~!~!~!~. One could even say he looks like an older ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-48~!~!~!~.~!~!~!~OMGLINK-139~!~!~!~. In the photographs displayed on the Engineer Update webpage, Conagher is also shown holding what seems to be the very first Southern Hospitality. Later on, it is shown that he replaced his left hand with a robotic arm. At that last stage you see his chest hair is in the shape of Texas (Just like Saxton Hale has chest hair in the shape of Australia). He also appears more "Australian" than before, with a big, bushy mustache and carrying a barrel of BLU streak beer. One of the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-49~!~!~!~ colors is named after Radigan, and is called "Radigan Conagher Brown"

• Radigan Conagher first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-140~!~!~!~ comic.

Sniper's Parents

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-50~!~!~!~

“

I'll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it. — The Sniper on being a sniper

”

The Sniper's parents were first mentioned in ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-51~!~!~!~. The ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-52~!~!~!~, being a dutiful son, makes sure to keep in touch with his parents via phone or mail to inquire about their well-being and keep them up to date with his latest adventures and exploits. Living in the Red House on the Left on Adelaide St. in Australia, the Sniper's parents do not approve of his occupation. The Sniper's dad is especially condemning, calling the Sniper a "crazed gunman," against the Sniper's insistence that he is an "assassin." In a bid to bring the arguments to an end, the Sniper wrote to his mom asking her to just tell his dad about how he makes more than a doctor.

It is presumed that the Blu Sniper's parents live on the right side of Adelaide St. in Australia.

• The Sniper's Parents were introduced in ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-141~!~!~!~.

Other Individuals

Charles Darling

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-53~!~!~!~

“

A hunter needs his trophies, Saxton. You of all people should understand that. You were my best student, once. Before you gave it all up, for her. — Charles Darling on hunting.

”

Charles Darling is the former mentor of ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-54~!~!~!~ owner ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-55~!~!~!~. Formerly a hunter, Darling decided to give up a life of savagery for a more comfortable one of zoo-keeping. His and Hale's falling-out appeared to occur following Saxton's decision to abandon his training for ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-56~!~!~!~. He is currently the owner and proprietor of Darling Zoos, whose collection of animals includes such rare species as pygmy rabbits, quaggas, tasmanian wolves, dodos, giraffes and sea cows. He is also thought to be based off of the famed evolutionist Charles Darwin.

• Charles Darling first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-142~!~!~!~ comic.

Gentle Manne of Leisure

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-57~!~!~!~

“

A-ha-ha! You are as PRESUMPTUOUS as you are POOR and IRISH. Tarnish notte the majesty of my TOWER of HATS. — The Gentle Manne of Leisure observes the peasants around him

”

The Gentle Manne of Leisure is an English Victorian, who is rich enough to buy a tower of hats. He travels the streets of an English Victorian city with his companion (unnamed), informing the "peasants" that they are presumptuous, poor, and Irish. The Gentle Manne of Leisure wears a tuxedo, carries a cane, and is never seen without his most prized possession; his tower of hats. It is possible that he is referred to as "Sinclaire" by his Companion as they spectate their 'Hatless Commoners' Boxing.

• The Gentle Manne of Leisure was first shown in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-143~!~!~!~.
• He and his companion can also be found in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-144~!~!~!~.

King of Australia

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-58~!~!~!~ The King of Australia appears as a man wearing a suit and a crown. Even though he is labeled as The king of Australia, he doesn't have a proper mustache. He was also the founder and conqueror of hills. (referring to the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-59~!~!~!~ gamemode)

• King of Australia was first introduced in ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-145~!~!~!~.

Kicasso

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-60~!~!~!~

“

Say, uh... That ain't an original Kicasso, is it? — Dell Conagher on Blutarch Mann's choice in art

”

A painter whose work is on display in the lobby of ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-61~!~!~!~'s headquarters, and recognized by ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-62~!~!~!~. Went through a "Hunted in the Jungle" period of artwork. Most likely a play on the name of the famous artist, Picasso. The Artwork is a parody adaptation of Picasso's ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-146~!~!~!~, painted during his "blue period", which is a humorous reference within itself considering that the Kicasso is a part of Blutarch's Mansion.

• Kicasso first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-147~!~!~!~ comic.

Poopy Joe

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-63~!~!~!~

“

I have no idea what you're - ooo, right. That poor monkey. — Saxton Hale takes a moment to fondly remember the pioneering primate astronaut

”

Poopy Joe was a monkey astronaut who tragically died in an explosion before taking off, caused by ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-64~!~!~!~ in their unsuccessful attempt to rid themselves of weapons involved in a Senate investigation. Mann Co. takes no blame for his death and created commemorative plates that remember Poopy Joe and America's dream of conquering space. These plates were actually hints of the upcoming War! Update at the time, depicting the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-65~!~!~!~, the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-66~!~!~!~ and the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-67~!~!~!~'s bugle.

• Poopy Joe first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-148~!~!~!~

Shakespearicles

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-68~!~!~!~ Shakespearicles was the strongest writer who ever lived. He was the inventor of the two-story building, the stage play, America and the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-69~!~!~!~. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip—most tragically among them, stairs.

For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them, which was ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-70~!~!~!~ing. This persisted until 1857, when the young bearded inventor named President Abraham Lincoln invented stairs.

• Shakespearicles first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-149~!~!~!~

Trent and Jessica

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-71~!~!~!~

“

...and the bullets biodegrade once they hit flesh, leaving nothing behind but a blog post. — Trent explaining Apple's advances in the Minigun market

”

Trent and Jessica are two young fellows (and, according to the Soldier, hippies) who work at the Apple store located just outside ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-72~!~!~!~.

They offered items for sale to the RED Scout and Heavy, specifically a very small looking, yet identical headset for the Scout, and a white, black, and blue ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-73~!~!~!~ whose bullets add kills to the user's killcount on his blog. (If the user does not have a blog, the gun is programmed to create one.) They also managed to impress the RED Soldier by instantly cooking a pig with a device plugged through a firewire port. Jessica also explained Apple's newest product, the iBlewupthemoon, to ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-74~!~!~!~, impressing him and leading him to attempt to purchase the company and being turned down by a "Mysterious" figure that runs the store.

• Trent and Jessica first appeared in the non-canon ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-150~!~!~!~

The Apple Store Manager

“

Let me see your manager. — Saxton Hale on blowing up the moon with Apple's latest product

”

The Apple Store Manager is the manager of the Apple store located on the outskirts of ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-75~!~!~!~, and presumably the employer of Trent and Jessica.

When ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-76~!~!~!~ wants to buy out the company, he denied the request with the words "No sale, Hale!" He is presumably one of Hale's curvy long time rivals.

• The Apple Store Manager first appeared in the non-canon ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-151~!~!~!~

The Mann Co. Ape

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-77~!~!~!~

“

WIN A PRIZE! If you order now, you'll be automatically entered in a free giveaway. An all-expenses paid trip, including first class airfare, and a limousine ride, will be given to a gorilla so he can come to your house and fight you! — From the Mann-Conomy update page

”

The Mann Co. Ape appeared on the bottom of the Mann-Conomy update page, with the words: "WIN A PRIZE! If you order now, you'll be automatically entered in a free giveaway. An all-expenses paid trip, including first class airfare, and a limousine ride, will be given to a gorilla so he can come to your house and fight you!" next to it. At the time, many readers assumed that there would be some kind of actual prize draw for the first players to buy items from the Mann Co. Store, however the only bonus to buying items was receiving a ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-78~!~!~!~. Additionally, when the mouse is hovered over the picture, the Ape on the update page closes one of its eyes when it is rolled over, looking as if it is winking. Clicking on the image of the Ape would take the user to a framed image of the Ape.

• The Mann Co. Ape first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-152~!~!~!~.

Old Nick

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-79~!~!~!~

“

The nice children are given the greatest gift of all -- they are not abducted along with the naughty ones and carted off to the South Pole. — Robin Walker on the story of Old Nick

”

On December 18, 1788 a man named Nicholas Crowder was on a voyage to Australia, and upon witnessing the heat and privations, decided to turn the boat around and set course to conquer the South Pole. Where, according to legend, he still lives. Every December 18th, "Old Nick" as he is now known, returns to Australia to judge whether or not the children have been naughty or nice. The nice children get the gift of not being abducted and taken to the South Pole to work in Old Nick's workshop. The bad children make hats and weapons for Old Nick which are delivered to his Mansion on December 17. Old Nick sells any duplicate weapons and hats he has received online "practically giving them away".

• Old Nick first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-153~!~!~!~.

Historical Figures

Presidents

Abraham Lincoln

Wikipedia article: ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-80~!~!~!~

In addition to being the nation's 16th president, Abraham Lincoln was also the BLU team's first Pyro when the war began in the 1800's. Abraham Lincoln is noted for his love of Arena Mode as shown in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-154~!~!~!~. According to the WAR! Update, he was the inventor of stairs. And according to the Engineer update, Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by John "Tower of Hats" Booth, although the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-155~!~!~!~ attributes his death to rocket-jumping. Furthermore, according to the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-81~!~!~!~ comic, there were blueprints for three "life-extender machines," the last one apparently built on the day of Lincoln's death. Whether or not the Abraham is still alive is open to debate.

George Washington

Wikipedia article: ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-82~!~!~!~

The father of our country, George Washington invented America, but historians agree even he was unable to be PERMANENTLY INVISIBLE. With the addition of the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-83~!~!~!~, the Spy can succeed where the inventor of America failed.

George Washington first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-156~!~!~!~.

Non-Presidents

Fred Astaire

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-84~!~!~!~ Wikipedia article: ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-85~!~!~!~

Fred Astaire, born Frederick Austerlitz, was an American film and Broadway stage dancer, choreographer, singer and actor. His stage and subsequent film career spanned a total of 76 years, during which he made 31 musical films. He is particularly susceptible to ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-86~!~!~!~.

• Fred Astaire first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-157~!~!~!~

John "Tower of Hats" Booth

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-87~!~!~!~ Wikipedia article: ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-88~!~!~!~

John "Tower of Hats" Booth was the assassin of beloved president ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-89~!~!~!~. His last known photograph depicts him wearing his eponymous ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-90~!~!~!~. A wanted poster of him was published after the assassination, including an altered photograph depicting what he may look like after adding Abraham Lincoln's fearsome hat to said tower.

• John Booth first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-158~!~!~!~

Groups

Australians

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-91~!~!~!~

“

Every one of mankind's innovations now comes from the lager-pickled brain of an Australian. — The Administrator's ancestor on the mustache-sporting, beer-swilling, deathray-inventing Australians

”

Once thought of as nation of idiots, since 1850 Australians have become world leaders in technology, with every innovation including cloaking and teleportation, coming from the lager-loving nation. By the 1890's, Sydney had become a city of tomorrow, with flying cars, giant airships and self-grooming mustaches. Much like their national hero, ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-92~!~!~!~, every man, woman and child in the nation of Australia (with the exception of at least ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-93~!~!~!~) sports a glorious, full mustache. An ancestor of ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-94~!~!~!~ theorized that the nation's incredible intelligence came from the rare element, ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-95~!~!~!~. This theory seemed to prove true, once the element amplified Radigan Conagher's intelligence to phenomenal levels, and also caused various Australian-related side effects, including rapid mustache growth, extreme masculinity, and the primal urge to take off his shirt.

• Australia first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-159~!~!~!~ comic.

BLU team (Original)

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-96~!~!~!~

“

...I assembled a team of the world's deadliest mercenaries to take it all by force. What I did not expect was that my idiot brother would do the same. — Blutarch Mann on the original BLU team

”

The original BLU team was assembled by Blutarch Mann in the 1850's in an attempt to claim all of the land bequeathed to him and his brother, Redmond, by their father. Unfortunately for Blutarch, it appears that the original RED team was assembled at the same time, leaving both siblings at a stalemate. The original team consisted of the same nine classes as the current organization. The Scout (~!~!~!~OMGLINK-97~!~!~!~) took on the appearance of a young cowboy, complete with spurred boots. The Soldier (~!~!~!~OMGLINK-98~!~!~!~) dressed like a member of the Confederate Army, utilizing a rifle, rather than a Rocket Launcher. In keeping with tradition, the Demoman (~!~!~!~OMGLINK-99~!~!~!~) was a one-eyed ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-100~!~!~!~-loving prospector. Unlike his modern Russian counterpart, the Heavy (~!~!~!~OMGLINK-101~!~!~!~) preferred to put his enemies out of commission with a monstrous sledgehammer, whilst the Sniper (~!~!~!~OMGLINK-102~!~!~!~) partnered his trusty ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-103~!~!~!~ with a coonskin cap. Prior to his appointment as President of the United States, the Pyro (~!~!~!~OMGLINK-104~!~!~!~) used an experimental Flamethrower to aid his comrades in battle. BLU team's Medic (~!~!~!~OMGLINK-105~!~!~!~) appeared to retain his contemporary's love of the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-106~!~!~!~, whilst the team's Engineer (~!~!~!~OMGLINK-107~!~!~!~), was forced to make do with a satchel of blueprints, rather than a ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-108~!~!~!~. Finally, the Spy (~!~!~!~OMGLINK-109~!~!~!~) eschewed a balaclava in favor of a domino-mask and equally-sinister moustache.

• The original BLU team first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-160~!~!~!~ comic.

Zepheniah Mann and Company

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-110~!~!~!~ Zepheniah Mann was a wealthy Englishman who was convinced by his dimwitted sons, ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-111~!~!~!~tarch and ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-112~!~!~!~mond, to purchase large areas of land in frontier America. He dreamed of turning the land into large ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-113~!~!~!~ for weapons manufacturing. On his journey over to see his newly purchased land, he was struck with almost every illness known to man, and was shocked to find his new land was an ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-114~!~!~!~. Eventually, he left a ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-161~!~!~!~ on his own skin, which had sloughed off his body due to illness:

• To his maidservant Elizabeth, he left his estate, including all deeds, accounts and debts, his tobacco plantation and the remains of his fortune. Elizabeth bears a striking resemblance to Helen, the Administrator.
• To his aide and tracker Barnabas Hale (ancestor of ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-115~!~!~!~) he left complete control of ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-116~!~!~!~.
• To his "brain defective" sons, Blutarch & Redmond, he left a partnership. All of the new land they had convinced him to buy was now to be split evenly between them, so they would now have a reason to bicker endlessly. Blutarch and Redmond are still alive using a "Life Extender Machine"
• The final entry of his will is hidden, reading only as: "Lastly to... I leave the entirety of my.... and swear you to utmost secrecy in its keeping." The figure to whom it is directed is mysteriously obscured from the family portrait.
• In addition to the entries within the will, it is clear that Zepheniah's brother, Silas Mann, was also present. He however, was only revealed to have been at the event following the uncovering of another damaged photograph.

His will also leaves a curse to anyone who should use firearms ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-117~!~!~!~, stating that he will deliver a haunting unlike any ever seen. True to his word, the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-118~!~!~!~ of Zepheniah will appear periodically on the event version of ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-119~!~!~!~ where he is buried, wearing his ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-120~!~!~!~ hat. Any players who stray too close will flee in fear for several seconds, unable to jump or attack, similar to being stunned by the Sandman. He was first mentioned in the Halloween Update, as well as the above will.

• Zepheniah Mann and his companions first appeared in the ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-162~!~!~!~.

Other Valve Characters

Whitaker

~!~!~!~OMGLINK-121~!~!~!~

“

RED, BLU -- your money's all green here. — Whitaker on the TF Industries War

”

Whitaker, a minor character in Left 4 Dead 2, wrote a blog update on the Official Team Fortress 2 blog advertising the promotional ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-122~!~!~!~ and ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-123~!~!~!~ one can get from purchasing or previously owning Left 4 Dead 2. Based on his opening paragraph, he is Southern like the other Left 4 Dead 2 characters. It seems he is neutral towards the RED and BLU Corporations' feud, and also seems to know little-to-nothing about TF Industries other than "what he is told". It also appears that his existence is outside of Team Fortress 2's canonical storyline, as he refers to the war as an "infernal game called Team Fortress 2". However, this can be countered by the fact that he seems to be addressing the RED and BLU team members in the blog. Within Left 4 Dead 2, he is voiced by ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-163~!~!~!~.

• This character has only been seen in the 10/06/10 TF2 Blog update as of yet, and may be non-canon. For more information unrelated to Team Fortress 2, refer ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-164~!~!~!~.

External links

• ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-165~!~!~!~
• ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-166~!~!~!~
• ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-167~!~!~!~
• ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-168~!~!~!~
• ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-169~!~!~!~
• ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-170~!~!~!~
• ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-171~!~!~!~
• ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-172~!~!~!~
• ~!~!~!~OMGLINK-173~!~!~!~

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