User:Kibblekip/Sandbox/The Days Have Worn Away/Transcript

The Days Have Worn Away

[The first page is a cover image, depicting a young girl on her knees with her hands to her face. Behind her is shards of broken glass, and a set of stairs leading up to an orange glow. Surrounding the girl is debris and broken furniture, as well as a woman and man laying on the ground — the latter wearing a stack of top hats — with their arms linked, both deceased] DEDICATED TO RICK MAY ONE HELL OF A SOLDIER [The following page depicts another comic image of the young girl in the same position, now on the edge of a small dock over a frozen body of water. A different woman and man — the latter still depicted wearing multiple hats — lay in the same position as the previous pair, buried under the ice] BADLANDS, NEW MEXICO [A third cover image shows the young girl in the same position again, now kneeling on and surrounded by various blueprints. Another woman and man — the latter once more depicted wearing a stack of hats — lay next to her, both with visible deep green veins, each with a spilled cup beside them. The liquid from these cups is also a deep green] SEVEN YEARS LATER [The comic opens to vultures in a desert, scavenging for food. They stand around several skeletons, some slightly buried in the sand. Suddenly, one of the vultures is shot with a 'BLAM' sound, causing the others to fly away] [The angle shifts to show a prison in the background, with a worn sign reading 'BADLANDS CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTE' 'ESCAPEES WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT' and many more skeletons around the desert] Voice A: I get him? Voice B: You got him. I wish the inmates still tried to escape. [The voices are revealed to be security guards in a watch tower, one brandishing a rifle, the other using binoculars] Unnamed Guard A: Used to get a runner out in the bone ocean three, four times a week. Unnamed Guard B: Hey, Frank— you...? [In the distance, a white cloud of dust can be seen] Unnamed Guard: Do you see that? Out there on the horizon? Frank: Nobody's even tried since he took over. When they moved him here, I gave him a week. [The scene changes to the courtyard, showing several men — most covered in tattoos — wearing prison attire; orange sweatpants, some also wearing white tanktops] Frank: ["That was seven years ago."] ["Now all the gangs...] ["The Skulls, The Tongs, The Diablos...] ["Nobody lights a cigarette without his say-so."] [The scene changes again to a prison cell, with a nervous, skinny man sitting on a bed. Two men are opposite him, one doing weightlifting on a bench with bandages wrapped around their hands, the other — a larger bodied man — spotting for the weightlifter] Unnamed Guard: ["Frank?"] Frank: ["They think he's immortal. I think they might be right."] Unnamed Guard: ["Frank, I think something's coming."] Inmate A: I am so... ...so... ...so sorry. Inmate B: Two more. Come on. Inmate C: ...PFFH Inmate A: And not just sorry 'cause I know you're gonna kill me. I am genuinely sorry. I didn't even know you ran a card hustle. But now I know. No more cards. Cards are your thing. Inmate C: ...PFFH Inmate B: Last one. Get after it. Inmate A: And I also know you do... terrible things to guys who cross you. And I don't wanna be one of those guys. Which is why I'm here. Apologizin'. Inmate C: ...PFFH [Inmate C hands the bar up to the larger bodied man] Inmate C: Rack it, T-Bone. You know, Diego... ...they say pain is weakness leaving the body... [Inmate C begins to unwrap the bandages around his hands, revealing them to have the letters 'WZRD LIFE' tattoed across each finger from right to left hand. Inmate A — Diego — stiffens up and begins to sweat] Inmate C: ...but it's really more like agony entering it. Here. Let me show you. [Inmate C is revealed to be Merasmus, with various tattoos covering his body. The word 'ABRA KADABRA' is tattoo'd across the upper portion of his chest, and Tom Jones' face on his lower left arm] PART SEVEN: THE DAYS HAVE WORN AWAY [Merasmus gets up and begins to approach Diego, of whom is physically recoiling] Diego: Please. Merasmus. Don't do any... magic on me. Merasmus: Oh, don't worry, Diego... [He grabs Diego by the neck and lifts him into the air, strangling him] Merasmus: ...I wouldn't waste good magic on you. Diego: KKGH GHFFH [Suddenly, a loud 'CHKK' sound is made as a shovel raises out of the ground behind Merasmus. The RED Soldier emerges from the hole created, much to the shock of Merasmus] Soldier: Hello, convicts. Is there a shrivelled up old mummy in this prison? Merasmus: Soldier!? Soldier: Oh, hi, Merasmus. Merasmus: But— but what are you doing here? [Soldier climbs out of the hole, followed by Zhanna, of whom now wears a prosthetic hand] Zhanna: We are breaking you out. Merasmus: You— I— and who are you? Soldier: Merasmus, meet my new roommate! Zhanna: I am his wife. Soldier: But we are also roommates. You've been replaced, Merasmus! Hurts, doesn't it? I bet you'd like to kill her. [Zhanna points at Merasmus aggressively] Zhanna: Kill me? I would like to see you try. Soldier: I think we'd all like to see that, honey. Zhanna: Listen to Zhanna, magical man. I will pull rabbit out of your ass with my foot. My foot will also be up rabbit's ass. [T-Bone grabs Zhanna's neck, strangling her as her face turns red] T-Bone: Hey. No one touches the big guy. Let's all just— [Suddenly, a small blond-haired child wearing a helmet akin to the Soldier's climbs up T-Bone's back, and attempts to — but fails — to snap his neck with a cut off 'NECK SN-' as Zhanna's face begins turning from red to blue"] Blond child: NFF Zhanna: You can do it, honey. [The child successfully breaks T-Bone's neck, finishing the neck snap with a '-AP' sound. The angle changes to show a horrified Merasmus with Soldier standing behind him, and the helmet-wearing child riding the shoulders of an eyepatch-wearing child in celebration] Merasmus: T-BONE! Soldier: We're busting you out Merasmus. Big things are happening! I'm in. My wife is in. But son... ...we can't do it without you. [Merasmus looks at Soldier with bright, hopeful eyes] Merasmus: Soldier, I... I don't know what to say... you want me to join Team Fortress? Soldier: What? No, that's stupid. Zhanna: We need babysitter. [Zhanna holds the eyepatch-wearing child and helmet-wearing child's shoulders] Zhanna: General Patton Doe... Georgia Washington Doe... I want you both to meet your Uncle Merasmus. Merasmus: Those are... ...the filthiest children I have ever seen. [The angle shifts over to the Soldier, of whom is now fully nude and sitting on a toilet while holding one of Merasmus' books] Soldier: Well, don't start handing out awards yet. Because I am about to use your toilet. All of us are. Once I go the kids get jealous. Zhanna, look at the size of this thing around my ass. Prison's been good to you, Merasmus. It's a shame you're leaving. Merasmus: I'm not leaving, Soldier! I have a home here! People respect me! Soldier: Really? Why? Merasmus: You and your family finish... ...toileting, and get out of my prison! Soldier: We're not going anywhere, Merasmus. Not without you. [Merasmus walks over to the prison bars and listens, with many 'SMASH' and so forth sounds coming from the hallway] Merasmus: That's where you're wrong, Soldier! Listen! The guards are coming for you! Soldier: Those aren't guards. That's the Korean Mafia. They were right behind us. [Soldier gets off of the toilet and begins putting his clothes back on, as a now naked Zhanna uses the toilet and attempts to read one of Merasmus' scrolls] Merasmus: What? Why are the Korean Mafia after you? Soldier: They're not, they're after you, Merasmus. Merasmus: What on earth for? Soldier: Well... it started when I borrowed a lot of money from the Korean Mafia and told them it was you. [Soldier puts his hand on Merasmus' shoulder] Soldier: Now I know what you're thinking: why would I need a lot of money? To answer that question I will need to ask you a question: Merasmus: Okay... Soldier: Have I told you... ...that you owe a lot of money to the Korean Mafia? Merasmus: Yes! And they're getting closer! [Soldier approaches the hole, as Zhanna and their children stand to the side; Georgia is using the toilet, while Patton is removing honey from a jar] Soldier: Crap. We should really be escaping right now. Everyone! Back into the hole! [He puts a hand around the now disheartened Merasmus' shoulder] Soldier: ...as soon as I'm finished telling Merasmus this story. I'd better double time it. We're not even at the start yet. Our story begins— ...no, wait. That's the middle. Merasmus, I feel like I'm confusing you by trying to race through this, so I'm going to slow down. Our story— are you getting this Merasmus: SOLDIER! [The bricks on the wall behind them trail off into calendar pages for effect as Soldier begins to tell the story] Merasmus: ["Just tell me the end of the story."] [The scene changes to near the end of the previous comic with Miss Pauling giving her speech to the TFC Heavy, as Saxton Hale, Maggie, Zhanna, and all of the mercs besides the Engineer stand behind her. Medic is holding a baby chimpanzee] Miss Pauling: You want to know how we beat you? [The angle shifts to only show Soldier, Zhanna and Heavy standing together] Soldier: Look at us all standing around here, chumming it up like a bunch of schoolkids. Heavy: We are watching a man die. Soldier: Like a bunch of silly schoolkids. I am going to get Zhanna pregnant. Heavy: Yes, you have mentioned it. Soldier: Yes, but not recently. Heavy: Yes, recently. Multiple times in last several hours. Miss Pauling: Maybe it was just luck. Maybe it was something else. I don't know what to tell you. But either way... we're Team Fortress Soldier: Anyway, I am going to get her pregnant. Zhanna: Yes. [Heavy's face scrunches in disapproval, as Soldier kneels down in front of him, holding up a grenade] Soldier: I am on my knee, asking you for your sister's hand in marriage. Heavy: No. [Soldier turns around to face Zhanna, taking his helmet off] Soldier: Alright. Well, I tried. Zhanna, you want to get married? Zhanna: Yes. [Zhanna removes the pin from the grenade and kisses Soldier, wearing the pin like a ring. As they kiss, the grenade explodes behind them. Soldier begins to undress, but is interrupted by Heavy] Heavy: Zhanna. This man cannot support you. We do not even pay this man. He lives in a cave. Soldier: Hold on, honey, we might need to table this impregnation. Zhanna: Ugh. Fine. Soldier: Why does everyone think I have no money? Heavy: Because you live in cave. [Suddenly, Soldier pulls out a subtly, yellow tinted rock and holds it up infront of him] Soldier: Lined with gold! I only live in the cave so no one steals it. And now I don't have to defend my vast cave fortune alone. She has married into defending the cave! It's our cave now! We can sleep in shifts! It will be heaven! Heavy: This is... not gold. [Miss Pauling abruptly snatches the Australium rock away and looks at it in awe] Miss Pauling: Soldier, where did you get this? Soldier: In my cave! There's tons of it! Raccoons won't touch the stuff. Miss Pauling: You guys: we did it. Not the way we planned, but we did it. Soldier's cave has enough Australium for centuries! [As Miss Pauling stares at the rock, the yellow glow lighting up her face, Spy stands off to the side] Spy: We could sell it and- Miss Pauling: Exactly. We could bring it back to the Administrator. [Her reflection beams back off of the rock] Miss Pauling: I'll get a promotion! I could be her second in command! [She then points to a plane, as Saxton Hale and Maggie approach] Miss Pauling: Come on, everybody in the plane! Saxton Hale: Where are we going? Soldier: I was just telling Miss Pauling about the Australium— [Miss Pauling suddenly covers Soldier's mouth, interrupting him] Miss Pauling: And how it's gone! It's alllllll gone! There is no more! So we're all... ...we're all going home! [She gives an unconvincing smile, as Saxton Hale and Maggie exchange unimpressed glances, before smiling at eachother] Saxton Hale: Well, there's only one thing left to do, Mags.... Maggie: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin', Sax? Saxton Hale: You know it! Let's go get Mann Co back. I've got a plan, Mags. I couldn't beat up a little girl to get my company back. But that's because I didn't have a secret weapon. [He grabs Scout by the shoulder and pulls him over] Saxton Hale: This little girl we met at Ayers Rock! Scout: Hey! Saxton Hale: She might not be a match for Olivia Mann yet! But you're gonna train her, Mags! Even if it kills her! Even if— [He stops and looks around, realizing Maggie is nowhere to be seen] Saxton Hale: Mags? Scout: She left, Mister Hale. Saxton Hale: What? When? Scout: Like five seconds ago. While you were yellin' at me. [Saxton Hale throws Scout down on the ground, while in the background his pilot — Jerry — enters the plane] Saxton Hale: Fine! I'll get my company back without her! Jerry! Whose plane is that? Jerry: No idea, sir. Looks empty. Saxton Hale: Well, we killed a lot of people here today, Jerry. Probably one of theirs. Fire it up! We're heading to Mann Co! Come on, fists, we've got a plane to catch and then crash. [Meanwhile, Miss Pauling continues to stare longingly at the Australium rock] Spy: Miss Pauling... Miss Pauling: Yes, Spy? Spy: Saxton Hale is stealing our plane. Miss Pauling: Good. That's good. [She snaps back to reality and looks up] Miss Pauling: Wait, what? [As the plane is preparing to take off, Miss Pauling dashes to the runway, waving her arms] Miss Pauling: Hey! Hey! You stupid half-naked idiot! That's ours! Jerry: There's a hysterical woman screaming at us from the tarmac, sir. Saxton Hale: Ha! That's a good one. Alright, my turn. I see... there. That cloud looks like a tiger! Miss Pauling: Hey! HEY! That's our— [As the plane takes off with a rumbling 'VRRROOOOOM' sound, Spy runs in and tackles Miss Pauling to the ground, saving her. She looks up in dismay at the plane] Miss Pauling: That— that— that Australian took our plane! Spy: Anything that's not nailed down, yes. It's in their DNA, I believe. Miss Pauling: Now what the hell are we gonna do? We're stuck here. Spy: Well, not necessarily... [He glances over to the bushes, where Sniper is inspecting an abandoned, rusty plane with moss and dirt covering it. Next to the plane is a sign reading 'DO NOT USE' and some gasoline canisters] Spy: What do you think, Sniper? Can you fly it? Sniper: Only one way to find out: let's steal it. [The scene cuts to Miss Pauling and the mercs mid-flight, approaching the entrance of a hidden bunker from the walls of a canyon, with the plane visibly burning up and creating a loud 'VRRRRRRR' sound. The BLU Engineer watches from a balcony, sipping from a cup as everyone parachutes out and the plane crashes nearby. The scene cuts further ahead to Miss Pauling and the mercs inside the lobby of the bunker, the former attempting to talk with a receptionist] Receptionist: I don't see you on the list. Could you spell that? Miss Pauling: F...O...R...T... look, it doesn't matter. We need to see the Administrator. About this. [She slams the Australium rock infront of the receptionist, and crosses her arms smugly] Receptionist: OK, this isn't a pawn shop. I can't let you past this desk. In fact, you shouldn't even be in the lobby. You need to— [Suddenly, Engineer appears from a balcony above the lobby, as Miss Pauling and the mercs look up at him. To the side, Sniper and Demoman are looking at a statue in the middle of the lobby, depicting figures from the various other mercenary teams and plates with the letters 'A', 'B', 'C', 'D' and 'E' surrounding a Team Fortress 2 logo. At the bottom are broken prongs where a sixth letter was once placed] Engineer: Miss Krauthammer! It's alright! They're with me! Fellahs! It's been a dog's age! Get up here! [The scene shifts to the hallway outside of a break room, with Spy smoking a cigarette, while Pyro and Demoman look at hung-up pictures. The latter is looking at an image of the Demoman from another mercenary team, of whom is clad with armour and shoulder-mounted rockets] Engineer: ["I gotta tell ya, you have created a real...] ["...a real problem here, Flo."] Miss Pauling: ["I followed my orders, Engie."] Engineer: ["I know, I know..."] ["I just never thought...] ["You'd actually find more."] Miss Pauling: ["Nobody did though, did they?] ["Not any of the 'good' teams, not the Administrator...] ["Not even you."] ["Everybody just thought we'd screw it all up, didn't they?] ["Create a distraction. Let the real mercs save the day.] ["Well, we did it."] [Inside the break room, Miss Pauling and Engineer are sitting at a table, the Australium rock between them] Miss Pauling: I've devoted my whole life to this. To whatever grand plan she had. Or whatever evil plan, who cares. But she'd get there. And I'd be right there with her. I want to see her, Engie. [He gets up from the table and picks up a lantern with key tied to it and passes it to her] Engineer: Alright. Down the hall. Last door on the left. [He then sits back down and picks up a mug as Miss Pauling begins to exit] Miss Pauling: You're not coming? Engineer: My grandfather never went down there. My father never went down there. [The scene shifts to the hallway, with Miss Pauling and the mercs approaching a stone-cut door surrounded by a rocky frame at the end, contrasting the office-like environment of the rest of the hall] Engineer: ["I figure they had a reason.] ["Y'all go ahead."]