User:GrampaSwood/AprilFools2021

Staff Disclaimer

Everything should settled on and ready by March 31. Take all the time you need until then to discuss, organize, and put together everything you'd like to show up in the fake update.

Please try to avoid the following:

New weapons or balance changes that are based on actual problems with TF2

Bug fixes or game changes that address actual TF2 problems

Anything regarding matchmaking or promised features

Try to make something that is very obviously a joke update, it's better to go over the top than to be subtle. It's okay to make fun of other Valve games, as long as it's done in jest rather than out of malice. — Tark lm(pt-br) 20:54, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Ideas

Accepted

 Once an idea gets 5 or more   votes with little to no   votes, it should be moved here.

Proposed

 Put your ideas here. Please treat this like a talk page and put your ideas under Proposed with your signature under it.

GrampaSwood ideas

Patch note ideas:

• Turned all classes into pickles. Funniest shit we've ever seen.  3 |  1
• Depending on the value of the cosmetics a class is wearing, the class will receive a damage bonus ranging from -5% when there's no hats to +50% with expensive Unusuals.  3 |  0
• All servers now host a 100% crit cp_orange or trade_minecraft map.  3 |  0
• Removed "Report" button because it was used too much. (Credit to Fiat_Seicento for this one).  3 |  0
• Players often complained that matches don't last long enough on maps like 2Fort and Hightower. To fix this, we put invisible walls in the middle of the map to make it impossible to do the objectives.  4 |  0

These are just some of my ideas, feel free to vote on it. Idk what the threshold is for accepting one, I guess we'll have to figure that out based on the amount of people that want to participate
GrampaSwood (talk) 18:46, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Some of these don't sound like real patch notes. They should sound like real patch notes unless the goal is explicitly not to. Naleksuh (talk) 18:51, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

In Jungle Inferno they added some explanation, patch notes can just be general gameplay changes and don't have to be "added 10% extra damage to Iron Bomber".
GrampaSwood (talk) 18:53, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

I'm talking about stuff like instead of "Due to an increase in reports that matches don't last long enough on maps like 2Fort and Hightower, we put invisible walls in the middle of the map to make it impossible to do the objectives." it would be something like "Added invisible walls to prevent pushing the payload in Hightower" or "Fixed a bug where the intelligence could be picked up in 2Fort". Because it doesn't sound like valve's writing style. However, a possible exception to this could be "FIX BUG w/ h1gh tower cart being pushed" (something they obviously would not write, as part of the joke) Naleksuh (talk) 20:26, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

I'll change it a bit. Though please vote on them.
GrampaSwood (talk) 20:33, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

I also propose a possible hoax in addition to the main page changes. For example, about the heavy update dropping. Just like with previous years, there can be articles about it (that will be moved into Project namespace once it's April 2nd US time, April 3rd EU time), and YouTube demonstrations as well. Naleksuh (talk) 20:26, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

IIRC no speculation like "heavy update about to drop" or something similar, because there was something against plausible things like that I don't remember exactly what it was though.
GrampaSwood (talk) 20:33, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

How about "Dropped the heavy update" as a patch note with no furthur explanation like Fiat Seicento suggests, and we'll come up with a new "big hoax"? Naleksuh (talk) 20:45, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Fiat Seicento ideas

Here are mine:

• Adjusted inflation of MvM money  2 |  0
• Due to COVID-19 outbreak (also called Coronavirus) all upcoming matches between RED & BLU teams have been suspended until further notice  3 |  0
• Fixed a bug in which Sun-on-a-Stick and Sharpened Volcano Fragment could be useful  3 |  1
• Diary products such as Mad milk will now deal more damage to non lactose tolerant players  4 |  0
• You can now apply war paints to Classic  1 |  3
• Added Artifact promotional items  3 |  0
• Updated localisation files  3 |  1
• Removed in-game medals  3 |  1
• Team Fortress 2 has been ported to new Valve's engine! GoldSRC!  2 |  0
• Added dynamic weather and day & night cycle (mostly noticeable in Hightower/2fort matches)  1 |  0
• Fixed a bug in which players were incorectly connecting The Danger with some Youtuber/Streamer instead of Breaking Bad series  1 |  1
• Cp_orange has been added to competetive map pool  2 |  0

FiatSeicento 20:41, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Most of these are good except the party and covid pandemic. For these I would like some changes. Keep in mind that keeping them on the same team is already the option, you may mean to have them not on the team. And for COVID-19, how about "players can't get within 10 feet of each other" instead of all matches suspended? Naleksuh (talk) 20:45, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Personally I'm in favour of suspending the matches instead of being 1,5m from each other.
GrampaSwood (talk) 21:43, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Denied's changes

• Fixed a bug causing the community to constantly complain about the game being dead.  2 |  1

Denied (Talk) 20:57, 21 March 2020 (UTC)

Gabrielwoj's ideas

I've made these long ago, somewhere in February. They are how it'd look on a patch note, so some items have "extra items" below them:

• Introducing the Unusual Trade Up system
  • Players can now change 5 untradable Gen I and Gen III Unusuals in exchange to a tradable Gen II Unusual  2 |  0
• Fixed a bug that certain crates weren't giving a 100% guarantee Unusual upon opening it  2 |  0
• Updated the Vote System
  • Players can no longer vote while playing on plr_hightower and plr_hightower_event  2 |  0
• Weapon changes
  • Market Gardener: Now a reskin to the Shovel
    • Developer notes: We felt that players wielding the Market Gardener was forgeting the core mechanics of TF2, the teamplay. Many players with the Market Gardner would completely forget their teammates, and go just for the Twitch clips. We are still keeping the models and textures untouched, but the weapon now works exactly like the Shovel  2 |  0
  • Phlogistinator: Added back full heatlh refill upon using MMPH
    • Developer notes: We felt that the Phlogistinator wasn't very powerful yet, so we are adding more buffs to it  2 |  0
• Added two new Bot names
  • Crate Depression and Spaghetti Code  2 |  0
• Added the Fort Knight item set ( https://steamcommunity.com/workshop/filedetails/?id=1825677260 )
  • Consists of Homebase Hairdo, Drop Top and Default Defenders  1 |  0
• Added a new community-made taunt ( The Lab Rats Dab )  2 |  0