Team Fortress Wiki:April Fools' Day/Future

Instructions

You are free to work on whatever you want as long as it follows the rules.

Important: Unlike previous events, if no ongoing effort is made towards the actual event, it will be postponed. Acceptable ideas may be considered for future events, but please keep in mind that a collaborative effort is necessary to make the April Fools' event happen.

Please see our previous events to get a sense of what we're looking for:

• Team Fortress Wiki:April Fools' Day

Update procedure

The April Fools' Day event will begin at 00:00 UTC+0 on April 1st and terminate at 00:00 UTC+0 on April 2nd.

On April 1st (UTC+0):

• Editors: Move April Fools' content to the main namespace.
• Staff: Publish any YouTube videos and related content.
• Staff: Update protected pages, e.g. {{Updates}}, {{Trending topics}}

On April 2nd (UTC+0):

• Editors: Tag April Fools' content with {{Humor}} and {{April Fools|2024}}.
• Editors: Move April Fools' content to the Team Fortress Wiki:April Fools' Day/2024/ namespace.
• Editors: Create Team Fortress Wiki:April Fools' Day/2024 page, listing the contributors
• Editors: Transclude {{Team Fortress Wiki:April Fools' Day/2024}} onto the main April Fools' Day page
• Editors: Clean up the Project status tracking on this page and archive the discussion.
• Staff: Unlist YouTube videos and related content.
• Staff: Restore protected pages.

Acceptable content

The following is allowed:

• Original content
• Steam Workshop content
  • Items from the Steam Workshop are only accepted with the creator's express consent.
  • To avoid concerns of bias, Workshop items should either be original (created for this event and then published on the Workshop) or at least 5 years old.
• Content based on other Valve games
• Content based on third-party media (case by case) - Fake promotional items are allowed as long as they're not direct copies of the originals and do not put us or Valve in legal trouble.
• Off-wiki content (update pages, playable TF2 content, videos, fan-games etc.)

Adding new ideas

1. Check to see if your ides satisfies the criteria listed under Guidelines for April Fools' Events and Acceptable content.
2. Create a new section to the Ideas section below.

Note: If your proposal introduces a new item or game mechanic, you or someone must write a wiki article about it.

Voting

1. Vote for your preferred ideas by posting a  + ({{c|+}}) or  - ({{c|-}}) in topic.
2. Upon reaching 5  + votes, please update Project status tracking and start working on it.
   1. To create a sandbox page, please make it a subpage of this one (e.g., /Future/April 1, 2024 Patch, /Future/Main Page etc.) and add __NOINDEX__ to it.

Note: Judges (Wiki Admins) have the authority to veto or approve ideas as needed.

Project status tracking

Use this section to keep track of approved ideas.

Project tracking
Content	Required work	Progress	Translation progress	Notes
User tasks
—	—	—	—	—
Staff tasks (protected pages, social media posts, etc)
—	—	—	—	—
Admin-only tasks (additional coding, etc)
—	—	—	—	—

Ideas

Click here to add your idea
(For patch notes and main page themes, please use the sections below.)

Section: Main Page / Wiki Theme

Post your Main page ideas below. Please try to provide detailed explanations of your ideas and/or make a concept (you can do so on your user space or by editing an image).

For inspiration, check out:

• 2019
• 2021

Main Page ideas

Luno's ideas

Status  Pending review. Please vote and discuss.
Votes    4 –  1

• Badly translated tf2 wiki.

In the vein of the popularity of running popular games or historical events through a translator to obtain funny reactions,

The main page of the wiki would receive its text (except language bar text) changed from a pool of X randomized variants that would have been passed ahead of time through a hyper-translator 50–100 times or more (keeping only the results that are funny).

The language selection bar would have the current selected language being Australian instead of English. Below all the languages would be a notice informing in English that the viewer might want to click on a link present in the notice if they don't understand anything, bringing them back to the normal page, and cite between parenthesis that it may be due to lack of virility and a mustache in general.

Example: The Über Update is a major content update for Team Fortress 2 and was released on June 23, 2011 Patch. It was heralded as "The biggest, most ambitious update in the history of Team Fortress 2." Similar to other major updates, such as the Sniper vs. Spy Update and the Engineer Update, the Über Update followed a four-day-long system of daily content previews, the last of which featured the release of Meet the Medic.

⬇️

Turns into: It was completely Up here is a major update released on June 23, 2011. It is called "the most big and fast" in the history of Army Squad 2. Technology has changed and improved, the It was completely Up here also includes the Meet the Medic app, which is supported in a four-day trial program.

Luno 🪐🌕 Talk / Contributions / Team 00:46, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

I think this classifies as a main page idea? (If so, please move it to the section "Main Page")

50-100 results in unreadable text from my testing, but if you manage to get something usable (and funny) from that, it would be great. — Tark 16:01, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

We could also make Australian a (new) obvious selectable language if we don't want it on by default by using an icon or bigger font.

In the meantime, I could store results in a publicly open One Drive (or Sandbox page). The idea behind bad translation is to be surprising, widely different from the original text, but still sort of get the point across, like Heavy turning into Fatty and so on. It takes a few runs to get good text, and it's easier in small chunks.
Luno 🪐🌕 Talk / Contributions / Team 16:30, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

Here is a link to the mockup, currently without bad translations. Luno 🪐🌕 Talk / Contributions / Team 18:25, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

Wondering if this joke can be applied to other languages.--祝编安/All the best
||| BEUFK the nonsense - contrib. - have a talk

It might happen, though that would be up to whoever is capable of putting a page together. I'd take care of the French page in that case; all supported languages would probably have a striketrough with a funny comment. It would have to be easily editable, since the current main page is a huge spaghetti of templates. Luno 🪐🌕 Talk / Contributions / Team 20:50, 31 January 2024 (UTC)

I'm in :) Profiteer the tryhard (talk|contribute) 09:22, 1 February 2024 (UTC)

┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ How far are you into this? The idea is funny on its own and could work if we can nail the execution. However, seeing as we have a little less than a week left, I don't think it's feasible at this rate, unless you'd be able to finish it by the weekend. — Wookipan (talk | contribs) 21:16, 27 March 2024 (UTC)

Section: Fake patch

Post your fake patch ideas below. Please remember that if you're suggesting a new item or feature, you should be able to write an article about it. While throwaway ideas are fun, wiki events should be focused on wiki work.

Template:

{{Team Fortress Wiki:April Fools' Day/Future/SuggestionPatch
| voted-by = <!-- List of usernames... -->
| content  =
* Added something.   {{pro|0}} - {{con|0}}
* Removed something. {{pro|0}} - {{con|0}}
* Fixed something.   {{pro|0}} - {{con|0}}
}}
~~~~

Patch ideas

Status  Rejected  (Staff comment: Rejected due to the "Wingdings" text. Be nice. 🤦)
Voted by  GrampaSwood, Andrew360, Gabrielwoj

• My idea is a fake patch.
  • A new wave in MVM is added with Freddy Fazbear and co. attacking the mercy  1 -  2
  • Pyro is now an scp, specifically scp 69.  1 -  2
  • Medic x Heavy is canon  2 -  1
  • ✋︎ 🕆︎🏱︎👎︎✌︎❄︎☜︎👎︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎ ☹︎⚐︎👍︎✌︎☹︎✋︎☪︎✌︎❄︎✋︎⚐︎☠︎ ☞︎✋︎☹︎☜︎💧︎ ☹︎⚐︎☹︎  1 -  2
  • ☞︎🕆︎👍︎😐︎ 👌︎☹︎✋︎☪︎☪︎✌︎☼︎👎︎ ☜︎☠︎❄︎☜︎☼︎❄︎✌︎✋︎☠︎💣︎☜︎☠︎❄︎  0 -  3
  • I̵ ̴h̶a̴v̷e̵ ̸p̵l̴a̷c̷e̷d̵ ̸a̵ ̴l̸a̶n̸d̷ ̷m̷i̵n̶e̵ ̷i̴n̶ ̵y̵o̵u̶r̶ ̷h̴o̶u̸s̵e̵  1 -  2
  • 01010000 01101111 01101111 01110000 01111001 00100000 01001010 01101111 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01100011 01100011 01101001 01100100 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000  1 -  2

Light Weapons Guy (talk) 20:23, 18 January 2024 (UTC)

Wat. — Tark 16:01, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

I voted them. I'm highly against the second Wingdings one, we should probably avoid mentioning real-world companies like that, especially one with a game very similar to TF2. - ▪ - 23:03, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

---

Voted by  GrampaSwood, Cheddar, Andrew360, Gabrielwoj, Profiteer, Wookipan

• Players consume 1 Refined Metal per step.  5 -  1 -  Accepted.
  • If you have run out of your metal, your weapons are acceptable for us too.
• Introducing :  2 -  4
  • Blind Mode: Your screen turns dark throughout the whole game.
  • Deaf Mode: All sound effects are disabled.
  • Dumb Mode: Players no longer use Voice command etc.
    • The above is enabled by default.

祝编安/All the best
||| BEUFK the nonsense - contrib. - have a talk 06:59, 12 January 2024 (UTC)

I find the idea of using metal per step funny, I'd make a further explanation where slower classes consume less metal. Heavies could use 1 scrap per step, and Scout keep the 1 refined. - ▪ - 23:03, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

That does add more to the idea and could work as a unit of measurement - a fun lil' detail. — Wookipan (talk | contribs) 21:16, 27 March 2024 (UTC)

---

Voted by  GrampaSwood, Andrew360, Cheddar, Gabrielwoj, Wookipan

• The sweet surprise update
  • Added the Candy Apple for the Heavy.  3 -  1
  • Added the Candy Crocket for the Soldier.  3 -  1
  • Added the Waffle Cone skin cosmetic for the Soldier.  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
  • Updated the Lollichop to prevent "crashes".  3 -  1
  • Pyroland now works on all maps.  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
  • Updated the Pyro's giblet models to give them an extra kidney upon death.  0 -  1
  • Updated the Faerie Solitaire Pin with a unique stat; 10+ jump height when equipped in the secondary weapon slot.  3 -  1
  • Updated the Second Banana to have enemy players slip on them when dropped by Heavy.  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
  • Downdated the Localization Files.  5 -  0 -  Accepted.

ShadowMan44 (talk) 22:55, 29 January 2024 (UTC)

I have nothing much to add other than that I added a missing "pro" and "cons" to the Pyro's gib models one. - ▪ - 23:03, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

---

Voted by  GrampaSwood, Gabrielwoj, Wookipan

• Fake patch or undocumented change.

• It is no longer possible for Soldier to pick up dropped Mad Milk and use it as a banner item.  0 -  2
  • Fixed Soldier being able to pick up and consume Mad Milk dropped by a Scout on death, this was not intended.  0 -  0 -  version 2
• Fixed not being able to play Team Fortress 2 from the International Space Station or Moon due to missing netcode feature support.  1 -  1
• Medic can now quickly re-assemble his teammates back together if he can find all the required gibs.  1 -  0

Luno 🪐🌕 Talk / Contributions / Team 01:07, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

The first one is such a niche reference lol. - ▪ - 23:03, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

Maybe if I had worded it as "Soldier being able to drink-" It would have worked better I guess, thing is when I first noticed that in the video I couldn't stop laughing for quite a while. Luno 🪐🌕 Talk / Contributions / Team 23:52, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

---

Voted by  Profiteer, GrampaSwood, Gabrielwoj, jh34ghu43gu, Wookipan

• Raised -unrestricted_maxplayers limit to 1000 (feature is now even more unsupported).  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
• Added Saxton Hale as a playable class for all game modes.  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
• Added controller support for the Wii Balance Board.  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
• Crates now have a 100% chance of unboxing a Self-Made item.  3 -  2
• Added Battle Royale as a game mode in Casual mode.  2 -  2 -  Used in previous Fools' event.
• Automatically added 'unbindall' to autoexec.cfg.  2 -  3
• Updated the engine to Source 3.  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
• Added Walkway to Competitive mode.  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
• Removed ÜberCharge.  2 -  3
• Added Role Queue to Casual mode.  4 -  1
• Removed every single localization file.  4 -  0

Andrew360 00:56, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

Very good ones, although I think a Battle Royale mode was already made in a previous fake patch note, so I voted as a con. - ▪ - 23:03, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

I agree with Gabriel I think the BR one was already used. The unbindall one doesn't make sense to me, and thus I don't find it humorous. Ubercharge removal feels like it needs a reasoning. I don't vibe with the role queue one idk. Everything else alright   Jh34ghu43gu (talk) 12:10, 7 March 2024 (UTC)

---

Voted by  Tark, Gabrielwoj, Profiteer, Andrew360, jh34ghu43gu, Wookipan

• Renamed Unusual and Strange to Ordinary and Very Regular. They're not unusual or strange anymore, it's been 10 years, guys.  4 -  2
• The Demoman has sobered up, resulting in the following changes:  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
  • The Bottle and Scottish Handshake has been replaced with a glass of milk.
  • Flying above 15 meters in the air causes the Demoman to scream due to his fear of heights.
  • Voice lines no longer randomly cut out due to the Demoman falling asleep.
  • He no longer tries to drink from a pan or a sign.
  • The Ullapool Caber can now be thrown, like a sober person would...
• Fixed a bug that caused German translations to show up in English (e.g. "OverCharge" appearing as "ÜberCharge", "The Superhuman" appearing as "Ze Übermensch").  5 -  0 -  Accepted.
• Fixed a bug that caused trucks on maps to not be driveable.  5 -  0 -  Accepted.

— The preceding unsigned comment was added by GrampaSwood (talk) • (contribs) 2024-01-30, 16:01 UTC

Saw this as an "early access exclusive look only to Patrons™", these are very good ones and I like them. - ▪ - 23:03, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

I  'd the first one but only bc of the 2nd sentence, would be fine with just the 1st one. Jh34ghu43gu (talk) 12:10, 7 March 2024 (UTC)

I second this. Seems unnecessary and tries a little too hard at being funny. If anything, it's still usable but preferably without the second sentence. — Wookipan (talk | contribs) 21:16, 27 March 2024 (UTC)

---

Voted by  GrampaSwood, Profiteer, Wookipan

• Repainted one of the barrels on stage 1 of Dustbowl  3 -  0

This is a reference to a reddit post, and more recently a repost of it on the backpack forums. Maybe a bit too niche. Jh34ghu43gu (talk) 12:10, 7 March 2024 (UTC)

If it can get a chuckle out of those who know, then I don't see why not. — Wookipan (talk | contribs) 21:16, 27 March 2024 (UTC)

---

Voted by  Slimyboi500, Wookipan

• New taunt: Crystal-clear Beer  2 -  0
• Updated the Mann Co. Store to add the option to buy items with crafting metals  2 -  0
• Fixed a bug that caused the Demoman to appear with both eyes  2 -  0
• Fixed Teleporters giving bread tumors  2 -  0
• Fixed an exploit that allowed players to cross gates and thin walls by jumping backwards repeatedly  2 -  0
• Fixed a rare case of bit flip that would teleport players upward  2 -  0
• Removed Pyro's pronouns  2 -  0
• Significantly increased the odds of finding hats with special effects and renamed the "Unusual" quality to "Quite Common" to reflect this change  2 -  0
• Localized the update files  2 -  0

BrazilianNut (talk) 22:48, 11 March 2024 (UTC)

Mikado282's ideas

Status  Accepted
Votes    5 –  0

• Lego Update

Legofy the characters and some of the items.

It would probably be a lot of work to make Legofied versions one or two of the more notable taunts and Meet the Teams, but funny. (I'm thinking "Meet the Sniper" with a Legofied Sniper would be a natural.) (Or a stop action "Meet the Heavy" with actual Legos)

• 90% Gib odds with Lego gibs when Lego cosmetics are equipped.

M I K A D O 282 ⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙ ⊙⊙ ⊙⊙ (Contact Mikado282 (SM)) | (contribs) (Help Wanted!) 02:49, 2 May 2023 (UTC)

Light Weapons Guy's ideas

Status  Pending review. Please vote and discuss.
Votes    4 –  0

• My idea is We make a fake weapon article for The gaster blaster from Undertale and a fake class about sans?

Light Weapons Guy (talk) 13:58, 11 January 2024 (UTC)

If you're able to pull it off in time, then sure - go for it! — Wookipan (talk | contribs) 21:16, 27 March 2024 (UTC)

Slimyboi500's ideas

Status  Rejected  (Staff comment: Something original would be better suited.)
Votes    0 –  2

• My idea is a new weapon called the Full-Zatoichi, a weapon based on this video:

--Slimyboi500 Talk Contribs Steam 23:12, 29 January 2024 (UTC)

I like it, but since it has already been done by someone else, I don't think using an existing idea is very good.

We could certainly put a twist on this idea, like "No-Zatoichi" (GrampaSwood's suggestion) or something like that. — Tark 16:01, 30 January 2024 (UTC)

Status  Pending review. Please vote and discuss.
Votes    1 –  0

New idea: The Pootis Gun. It is a secondary weapon for the Heavy has the following attributes:
  Firing it makes Heavy do the High Noon kill taunt,
  No ammo needed
  No Random Critical hits
It may get rejected, but what the hell?

---

Slimyboi500 Talk Contribs

Steam 16:52, 31 January 2024 (UTC)

Aye, no need to be so pessimistic! If you could have this turned into a joke article and perhaps change the name to "The Pootis Pow", preferably accompanied with a video demonstration, then I'm on board. Although, I'm afraid we're running short on time here. — Wookipan (talk | contribs) 21:16, 27 March 2024 (UTC)

Gabrielwoj's Ideas

Status  Pending review. Please vote and discuss.
Votes    4 –  0

I suggest that we make a fake page for a new weapon, but, with a twist. We could perhaps ask for a Workshop creator for permission to use their model, and... try to find a weapon that looks similar from Typical Colors 2, the Roblox TF2-demake. On their Wiki, they actually make Weapon Demonstration videos just like we do here, and what I was thinking is quite hilarious. I was thinking in asking that Wiki's permission to use their demonstration videos, but edit a little bit:

• The video starts as normal, with the loadout screen showing up the new weapon, the class holding the new weapon, new backpack icon and stats. This would look like TF2 and not TC2;
  • This would be the only part that would be "new", we would need to create ourselves the footage with a custom backpack icon, custom stats, and import the model from the Workshop creator.
• As soon as the gameplay starts, it's actually footage of Typical Colors 2 and not TF2, with the new weapon being demonstrated;
• Perhaps edit the TC2's Wiki videos to include sound effects instead of the music. Maybe include TF2 sound effects instead, but keep the Roblox graphics and gameplay intact;
• It ends in the same way with that "movie reel" sound effect and fade.

On the Youtube page itself, make a "pin" comment stating that: "There was a problem with rendering the video that was not noticed prior to publishing to Youtube, we apologize." - ▪ - 12:06, 31 January 2024 (UTC)

I'm not sure what to think of this, but if you can pull it off, it would definitely create some unexpected reactions. — Wookipan (talk | contribs) 21:16, 27 March 2024 (UTC)

6162's ideas

Status  Rejected  (Staff comment: Valve's relationship with cryptocurrency makes it a little challenging for us, at least in this format. See comments for suggestions on how to approach this idea.)
Votes    1 –  2

• My idea is .... The Cryptocurrency Update.

This will be a fake update page that generally makes fun of crypto and references memes about crypto. I have the article for it on my user page, please help get this accepted and improve the article.

6162 (talk) 19:27, 3 March 2024 (UTC)

  Let's not touch on sensitive topics of the real-world, such as cryptocurrency, NFT, etc.. Let's also not put Valve in a bad faith since nearly everything related to crypto give a bad rep. There has been suggestions in the past related to adding NFTs to the game and such which were rejected due to being sensitive topics. - ▪ - 17:48, 4 March 2024 (UTC)

A "sensitive topic" would be like a war, also, things from the real world have made an appearance for April Fools like the Corolla Corral (a known car brand). Also what's wrong with giving Valve a "bad rep"? Do you work for their PR team? I'm as big a fan of Valve as the next guy and I still can make fun of them.6162 (talk) 22:06, 4 March 2024 (UTC)

  I think it would have been better to brand it as something like Manncoins, where much like Steam points, you would earn them via the Mann co store purchases, and you could grab neat 3D chat emotes of in-game items like the force-a-nature.

While crypto's been doing increasingly well, most people have kept a sour taste for certain crypto things and memes, especially since they clash with pre-established economic models. There is still fun potential, though, if you don't make direct references, like a developer would tell a story through world-building instead of text logs.

Try improving based on that or something like it as a fake patch entry. Luno 🪐🌕 Talk / Contrib. / Team 18:40, 6 March 2024 (UTC)

Really? 🤓6162 (talk) 23:57, 7 March 2024 (UTC)

We had the idea of NFTs/crypto stuff in the past, but it can't really happen because the topic is either too sensitive or just not in line with what Valve actually wants and may cause some controversy if people take it seriously.
| s | GrampaSwood (talk) (contribs) 18:43, 6 March 2024 (UTC)

You're right that this isn't a sensitive topic, but if I recall correctly, Valve disallows cryptocurrency games on Steam.

As for the idea itself, the draft page has barely any content, and expecting others to fill it in is out of the question. What does "The Cryptocurrency Update" add? A currency? Okay, are you willing to make a fake page explaining everything about this currency? Does the update add in-game items, or does it remove something from the game? Is it in-universe? Did the mercs invent or discover that they can somehow sell "Internet Australium"? Please commit to the idea, and make it funny. — Tark 19:14, 6 March 2024 (UTC)

Thanks for the ideas. But why did you have to reject this? 6162 (talk) 23:57, 7 March 2024 (UTC)