User:Calcium fiend/Joke Weapon Changes/Scout

Joke changes for the Scout

Primary

Force-A-Nature

Sensible Version

Force-A-Nature
Level 1 Scattergun
+40 pellets per shot
Knockback on wearer and the enemy
-84% clip size
-20% damage penalty
Functions as a Force-A-Nature with stats doubled.

Shortstop

Sensible Version

Shortstop
Level 1 Peppergun
+25% more accurate
On Hit: Builds Attitude
-34% clip size
When Attitude is full, Alt-Fire to activate Attitude mode for Mini-Crits.
This weapon reloads its entire clip at once.

Stupid Version

Shortstop
Level 1 Peppergun
On Hit: Mark enemy for death
Alt-Fire: Snap enemy’s neck, killing them instantly
-100% damage penalty

Secondary

C.A.P.P.E.R

Stupid Version

C.A.P.P.E.R
Level 1 Pistol
On Hit: Desintegraties enemies, killing them instantly
-85% slower firing speed
On Kill: Gives the user PTSD

Pretty Boy’s Pocket Pistol

Sensible Version

Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol
Level 1 Pistol
+15% faster firing speed
On Hit: Builds Boost
Run speed increases with Boost
-25% clip size

Melee

Sandman

Sensible Version

Sandman
Level 15 Bat
Alt-Fire: Catch projectiles and toss them back!
-15% less health on wearer

Candy Cane

Stupid Version

Candy Cane
Level 420 Bat
+20% move speed on wearer
Never go hungry
Weapon disintegrates in water
Makes your hands sticky!

Boston Basher

Stupid Version

Boston Basher
Level 69 Bat
+15% damage bonus in water
On Hit: Enemy receives tetanus
On Miss: You receive tetanus

Sun-on-a-Stick

Stupid Version

Sun-on-a-Stick
Level 69 RIFT Fire Mace
On Hit: Enemy is infected with Black Lung
100% Mini-Crits against players with Black Lung
-25% damage penalty
On Miss: Give yourself Black Lung
Black Lung acts as Bleeding with a special coughing animation, and persists until death. Weapon taunting next to player with Black Lung will perform the Schadenfreude taunt.