User:Kibblekip/Grordbort's Crash/Transcript

Grordbort's Crash

[The comic opens to a starry night, with the RED Soldier and a group of people wearing green soldier uniforms on a hill around a campfire] Soldier: Remember when half our platoon died taking that godforsaken hill? Back to America? That was hard. But the chief asked us to do it, and he'd have had our army badges if we didn't. Ahhh, listen to us broken down old dogs jawing on about the war. That we were invited to. Yeah, we've seen too much, us four. Salty Pete... Iron-Eye... Pepper Pot Pete... [The angle changes, revealing Soldier is the only real person there, as everyone else is a cardboard cutout] Soldier: Salsa Pete, remember that time you dug a trench with a shovel? A lot of good men died falling in that trench. Ahhh, soldiering. War times. More tea, Peter Pepper-Pants? [In the background, a falling object surrounded by a pink-red glow falls from the sky] Soldier: These tea rations are swill! That's all they give us grunts for our tea parties, am I right? Eh? INCOMING! [Soldier approaches the crash site of the fallen object] Soldier: It's a missile! Quickly, men! One of us should throw ourselves on top of it! [He begins to slide down towards the "missle" and opens a hatch on its side] Soldier: Fine. I'll do it. Cowards. Hold on, this isn't a missle... it's a rocket. A rocket full of guns. [He pulls out a futuristic looking firearm and holds it up] Soldier: Pew! Pew pew pew! Pack up the tea, boys! We're joining the space marines!