Saxton Hale

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This article is about the character. For the game mode, see Versus Saxton Hale.
Yourpropertyjustgotdamagedbysaxtonhale.png
“
I'll beat them to death with my bare hands!
”

Saxton Hale is a daring Australian, former President and CEO of Mann Co., the star of many comics series, and the playable boss character in Versus Saxton Hale. He is considered the fourth richest man in the USA. He was the sixth richest man in the US, but surpassed the fifth by wealth and the fourth by killing him in a harpoon duel. His favorite pastimes include fighting, drinking, and battling with ferocious animals. In fact, most kids sleep with a teddy bear at night, but Saxton Hale sleeps with an actual bear that he tamed while in the Brazilian Jungles. His identifying features include a bold mustache, rippling muscles, a crocodile-tooth lined hat, and a patch of rotating chest hair shaped like Australia. He also refuses to wear clothes on his upper body "for obvious reasons".

Saxton is the most current male of the Hale family to take up the reins of Mann Co. since Zepheniah Mann left its ownership to loyal aide and tracker Barnabus Hale in his last will and testament. His boisterous presence is felt in all areas of the company, from the slogan "We sell products and get in fights" to Gorilla Wrestling Fridays – his attempt at employee morale building. He also fills out customer forms with tick-boxes to either intimidate any product-thieving rivals or commend new inventors submitting a new product idea to him. His inspiring image is also featured on numerous Mann Co. catalogs and promotional materials. He is known (and feared) for his belief in handling customer service issues personally, with his official policy being: "If you aren't 100% satisfied with our product line, you can take it up with me!"

Saxton Hale is voiced by JB Blanc in the Jungle Inferno video[1].

Notable achievements

Artwork depicting Saxton Hale.
  • Cutting his way out of "primate hell".
  • Teaching his Girl Scout troop, the "Saxtonettes", fire safety tips such as "Grizzly bears burn".
  • Fighting off a lion while simultaneously having a haircut.
  • Single-handedly wiping out the Indonesian Berserker Shark (and making them cry).
  • Retrieving a stolen puck from a thieving tortoise despite its thirty minute head start.
  • Inventing Jarate, the JAR-Based karate.
  • Becoming the wealthiest man in the Western Hemisphere.
  • Becoming the fourth richest man in the USA.
  • Firebombing Woodstock Festival from a helicopter.
  • Being in no way involved with the explosive death of the American monkeynaut Poopy Joe, nor being anywhere near the launch site at the time.
  • Introducing the Crafting system to both the RED and BLU teams in an effort to stop the war.
  • Publishing a special issued magazine (at a price of 20 cents per issue, even though it was demanded to be free) to answer questions made by his fans about, among other things, playing Team Fortress 2 on a Mac.
  • Discovering the existence of the Internet and starting the Mann Co. Store.
  • Purchasing England.
  • Fixing reading.
  • Having a website made up entirely of absolutely true Saxton Hale facts.
  • Killing the perverts at AnagramYourName.com.
  • Hosting the First Annual Saxxy Awards.
  • Inventing the "high-five".
  • Eating a whole ostrich.
  • 'Manslaughtering' 1,593 physicians.
  • Defeating Dr. McNinja in a popularity contest.
  • Slamming the last living Yeti with a Scout.
  • Jumping off a thrown Scout to punch that Yeti into a mess of blood and gibs.

Mann Co. comics

Issue Comic Info

Saxton Hale's
Mail Storm

Saxton Hale's Mail Storm had its first and only issue published in March 1964 to help explain the new Federal recall of all 36 million Gold Coast-Tweed personal apple corers, due to their tendency to not only core apples, but fingers, lamps, and small furry animals. When the government demanded the comic be issued for free, Mann Co. responded by raising its usual price of twelve cents an issue to twenty, reasoning that if anyone was going to get something for free, they were going to pay for it.

Mailstorm large.jpg
Issue #1

Saxton Hale's Mildly Thrilling Tales

As the youth movement of the 1960s escalated, manufacturers produced fewer and fewer products for the elderly. By 1963, only four items remained: hats, meat, caskets, and Saxton Hale's Mildly Thrilling Tales. Naked from the forehead down, lying in their coffins gumming Salisbury steak, an entire generation of despondent, forgotten consumers was left with just one thing on which to spend their government checks: Hale's tepid, senior-friendly tales of modest suspense. Saxton Hale Visits His Mother Monthly and Soothing Stories of Familiar Things soon followed. Hale quickly became the wealthiest man in the Western Hemisphere.

Saxton turtle.jpg
Issue #4

Girl's Adventure Starring Saxton Hale

Boy's Adventure with Saxton Hale came under fire from the United States Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency in 1968 for teaching boys aged 6-16, among other things: moral turpitude, arson, vandalism, hippie assault, tax fraud, at-home laryngectomies, car theft, gorilla slaughter, and the Heimlich Maneuver (which had just been invented and was still considered controversial). Pressured by the US Senate, Mann Co. changed the name to Girl's Adventure With Saxton Hale, as it was commonly thought at the time that girls couldn't do anything, so any lessons taught to them would be harmless.

Saxton fire.jpg
Issue #6

Saxton Hale's
Barbershop Action

Saxton Hale's Barbershop Action capitalized on the brief "haircut" fad of the early 60s. Its breakaway success would lead to the ancillary titles Saxton Hale's Barbershop Romance and Haircut Horrors Starring Saxton Hale's Ghost. By Issue #40, however, the Peacenik movement had gripped the US in its filthy, tangled mane, and haircut fiction saw a steep decline. This would be the start of a lifelong feud between Hale and hippies, which would culminate in his firebombing Woodstock from a helicopter.

Saxton haircut.jpg
Issue #12

Saxton Hale's
Jungle Brawl

Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl debuted in the U.S. in 1962, riding a wave of anti-gorilla sentiment following Russia's successful launch of the first monkey, Vladimir Bananas, into space. The US's rage was not isolated to communist primates; that same year, monkeynaut Poopy Joe cruelly dashed the U.S.'s hopes of reaching the stars when its shuttle detonated on takeoff. Brawl was notorious for inflaming human-gorilla tensions during its ten-year run, most famously in issue #50, which was printed with gorillas' blood. Issue #50's print run of 17 million copies left only five gorillas on the planet.

Junglebrawl.jpg
Issue #44

Saxton Hale's
Thrilling Tales

Saxton Hale's Thrilling Tales first arrived on newsstands in 1961 as part of a bold Mann Co. initiative to sidestep an increase on postage costs for their weapons catalogs. The first 64-page issue contained four pages of thrilling tales and sixty pages of ads for exciting new Mann Co. products. But Thrilling's editors quickly discovered that showing Mann Co. founder Saxton Hale using a product in the story itself tripled its sales. Ads were cut to 32 pages to accommodate longer, product placement-based stories.

Saxton sharks.jpg
Issue #55

Apple

Saxton sees the unknown Apple store manager.

During the Mac Update, a non-canon comic was released that contained Saxton Hale. In this comic, Saxton Hale smashes through the Apple store's window, as he proclaims that he is going to burn the store to the ground. Saxton picks up a nearby device, presses a button, and then blows up the Moon with the Apple store's product ("iBlewupthemoon"). The product impresses Saxton so much that he decides to purchase the company. However, a figure in a black sweater (presumably Apple CEO Steve Jobs in his trademark turtleneck) appears and declines the offer. Saxton instantly recognizes the man and insults his curvy designs. The comic ends with the title of the next issue When Titans Clash.

Hale mail

Saxton Hale in combat with sharks.

The lucky few who sent in the Force-A-Nature order form[2] received an invoice from Saxton Hale himself, sadly informing them that the requested item was out of stock. For compensation, the sender received a signed photo of Saxton Hale standing in front of Ayers Rock with the words "Thanks for writing, little fella!" and a keychain featuring a random Team Fortress 2 class. The letter also advised to keep an eye on their mailbox, as new products could be on the way.

Yet more lucky senders who mailed in the coupon[3] received a letter bearing the Mann Co. logo and the snarling face of Saxton Hale. Inside was a letter informing the recipient that the requested product(s) were out of stock and that they should continue to check their mailbox as new items/legislation could be on the way, as well as several postcards bearing random cover images from the Mann Co. comics.

At this point, Valve asked players not to send any more money due to legal reasons. Valve donated the money they had received to Child's Play.

  • Letter from the Force-A-Nature giveaway; notice the Scout keyring.

  • A close up of the invoice; at the time of release, the Ambassador had not yet been announced.

  • Letter from Saxton Hale containing the comic postcards.

  • Letter from Hale again, this time addressing the creator of the "Guard Dog Update" as seen in the blog entry here.

Jungle Inferno

Saxton Hale in combat with a Yeti, a second before killing it.

In the Jungle Inferno video released for the Jungle Inferno Update, it is explained that Saxton Hale converted a weapons factory into a Yeti-fighting theme park, "Yeti Park", and an animal enhancement laboratory, the YTI Institute for Research and Development. But, it goes horribly wrong with the enhanced Yeti escaping and attempting to kill everyone working at the institute, including the RED team that just arrived. After tracking down the loose Yeti, Saxton battles and eventually kills it with a final punch that causes it to explode into gibs and blood, the head and limbs scattered. Saxton is then interrupted by a phone call from his assistant, Mr. Bidwell, to inform Saxton that there are no more Yetis to use for the park due to them being extinct. Saxton then comes up with the idea to repurpose the failed theme park into a park where the TF2 mercenaries can fight each other, calling it "Mercenary Park".

Related achievements

Ghostchievements icon.png Ghostchievements

Sackston Hale
 Sackston Hale
Craft the Saxton Hale Mask.


Gallery

Origins

The character of Saxton Hale was introduced over the course of the Sniper vs. Spy Update:

  • Day 4: Introduction of Saxton Hale as CEO of Mann Co.

  • Day 7: The Insult, Saxton Hale, Inventor of Jarate.

  • Day 7: Saxton Hale's first blog post linking to Day 7.

Main menu

Other appearances

  • Saxton Hale jumping out of his airplane with his stuffed Yeti and his pilot.

  • Saxton Hale as seen in the Jungle Inferno Update video.

  • Saxton Hale's Shirt, item in the 2018 Saliens Steam Summer Sale Game.

  • Saxton Hale's Hat, item in the 2018 Saliens Steam Summer Sale Game.

  • Concept art for Jungle Inferno (Video). Art by Jamaal Bradley.

  • Ditto.

  • Hale as he appears in the Versus Saxton Hale game mode.

  • Ditto, with hat and belt bodygroups hidden.

  • Saxton Hale's portrait in Versus Saxton Hale.

  • A cardboard cutout advertising the movie "Saxton Hale's Jungle Inferno", as seen on Galleria map.

Related merchandise

Trivia

Saxton Hale playing card
  • Saxton Hale's image as CEO of Mann Co. was introduced in media for the Sniper vs. Spy Update. At the time, Saxton Hale was a one-shot gag, but later proved popular with the community and became a notable figure related to Team Fortress 2.
  • Saxton Hale's Thrilling Tales is illustrated by comic artist Mike Oeming.
  • Saxton Hale's name is an anagram for a sexually explicit phrase that Valve may or may not have originally intended, as referenced in the Mann-Conomy Update.
    • His first name Saxton is in fact real, albeit only attested as a rare English surname.
  • Saxton Hale is implied to have been in a relationship with the Administrator some time ago, referring to her as a "chain-smoking seductress" and being on first name terms with her.
  • Saxton Hale has had a river named after his family.
  • In Poker Night at the Inventory, Saxton Hale makes a cameo appearance as the Ace of Spades in the Team Fortress 2 deck of cards.
  • A server mod called VS Saxton Hale allows one player, taking on the role of Saxton Hale on the BLU team, to fight against the rest of the players, who are all on the RED team. And, rather fittingly, he is usually equipped with strange fists that have reached the rank of "Hale's Own". It was made an official game mode in the Summer 2023 Update.
  • Saxton Hale Boss Fight is a 1v6 Elimination Mode game selection visible in the Introducing the Game Browser trailer for Overwatch.
  • Saxton Hale's chest-hair changed shape into a Christmas tree during Australian Christmas.
  • Saxton Hale sent a letter to all Team Fortress 2 and Spiral Knights players on Steam requesting that the player go on a mission to reach the first Clockwork Terminal in Spiral Knights, in which if the player does, it leads to unlocking the Spiral Sallet hat.
  • A child dresses as Saxton Hale during the Bombinomicon comic, which the RED Heavy intimidates until he cries.
  • While it is said that Saxton slept with a bear that he tamed in the Brazilian jungles, there aren't any kind of bears of any species in Brazil.
  • Saxton Hale, along with the Pyro, are playable characters in the game Super Time Force Ultra.
  • Saxton Hale (in the Jungle Inferno video) shares a voice actor (JB Blanc) with another muscular man with a magnificent mustache and a bare chest, Braum from League of Legends.
  • While dueling is not strictly prohibited in the US states of Washington and Texas, it is federally illegal by US Code. Saxton Hale should be under an open warrant for his arrest for murder concerning the harpoon duel.

See also

References

  1. ↑ Confirmation from Valve
  2. ↑ https://www.teamfortress.com/scoutupdate/force-a-nature.htm The Scout Update - Day 5
  3. ↑ https://www.teamfortress.com/sniper_vs_spy/day04_english.htm The Sniper vs. Spy Update - Day 4

External links

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