非玩家角色
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| “ | 妳就是那個，脾氣很壞又在我們戰鬥時鬼吼鬼叫的女人身邊工作的人吧。
— 紅隊爆破兵對寶琳小姐說道
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非玩家角色（NPC），亦即不在九個可玩兵種之內的人物。雖然大部分NPC在遊戲中沒出現，他們在絕地要塞２的故事線中仍舊有一定的重要性。
內容
- 1 絕地要塞工業和其附屬企業
- 1.1 管理員（The Administrator）
- 1.2 雷德蒙得和藍特哈克‧曼恩（Redmond＆Blutarch Mann）
- 1.3 伊莉莎白（Elizabeth）
- 1.4 寶琳小姐（Miss Pauling）
- 1.5 畢威爾先生（Mr. Bidwell）
- 1.6 雷迪先生（Mr. Reddy）
- 1.7 管理員的信差（Administator's Messenger）
- 1.8 巴拿巴‧海爾（Barnabas Hale）
- 1.9 薩克斯頓‧海爾（Saxton Hale）
- 1.10 席拉斯‧曼恩（Silas Mann）
- 1.11 站在中央的不明人物
- 1.12 導演（The Director）
- 2 紅隊和藍隊隊員的家人
- 3 一群人
- 4 其他
- 4.1 查爾斯‧達林（Charles Darling）
- 4.2 閒暇的紳士
- 4.3 澳大利亞之王
- 4.4 踢卡索（Kicasso）
- 4.5 噗皮‧喬（Poopy Joe）
- 4.6 殺士比亞（Shakespearicles）
- 4.7 傳特＆潔西卡（Trent＆Jessica）
- 4.8 蘋果商店的經理
- 4.9 曼恩企業猿猴（The Mann Co. Ape）
- 4.10 老尼克（Old Nick）
- 4.11 法蘭西斯：會說話的法國（Francis the Talking France）
- 4.12 鴿子阿基米德（Archimedes）
- 4.13 Merasmus the Magician
- 4.14 火箭兵的「戰友」
- 5 歷史人物
- 6 Valve角色
- 7 參見
- 8 參考
- 9 外部連接
絕地要塞工業和其附屬企業
管理員（The Administrator）
- 參見管理員內文。
雷德蒙得和藍特哈克‧曼恩（Redmond＆Blutarch Mann）
| “ | 我發動了一場極致又輕鬆，且我的手下都做不到的戰鬥...用歲月的流逝來摧毀掉我哥哥。但是到了最後...他...還是沒死... ！
— 藍特哈克‧曼恩說到對抗他哥哥的一連串戰爭時。
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雷德蒙得和藍特哈克‧曼恩是薩凡尼亞‧曼恩的雙胞胎兒子。他們分別是紅隊和藍隊的老闆。這兩位為了爭奪他們老爸留下來的大片土地，已經爭鬥了快一輩子。在薩凡尼亞死後，藍特哈克和雷德蒙得分別雇了9名傭兵，想要將另一方徹底消滅，奪取對方的土地。由於雙方傭兵的實力均等，戰況很快就變成了冗長的僵局，使得藍特哈克和雷德蒙得兩人都找了拉迪根‧柯納亨爾（Radigan Conagher），要求他製造生命維持系統。既然用武力打不贏，活得比另一方還要久就成了他們的策略。看到藍特哈克因為維持系統的關係而沒有變得極老，雷德蒙得想必是跟他做了一模一樣的行動。
- 藍特哈克和雷德蒙得，首次在曼恩家族照中現身。
藍特哈克‧曼恩，1960年代。
於曼恩莊園中的雷德蒙得‧曼恩，1960年代。
藍特哈克‧曼恩，1850年代。
雷德蒙得‧曼恩，1850年代。
相關細節
- 在最新的萬聖節地圖曼恩莊園中，可以在紅隊重生點一個無法進入的房間看到雷德蒙得坐在一張椅子上並面對某種機械（很可能是拉迪根建造的生命延續裝置）的剪影。使用 Noclip 指令穿牆進去觀察的話會發現雷德蒙得的身體只有手臂和頭（也就是從外面觀看可以看到的部份）有實際做出模型而已。換句話說，重生點房間裡的雷德蒙得沒有軀幹和下盤。
- 在曼恩莊園內的控制點C的房間中，可以看到一幅咧嘴而笑的健壯雷德蒙得畫像（掛在紅隊右側出口的牆上），而站在他旁邊的是看起來像個邪惡妖怪的藍特哈克。在 Loose Canon 漫畫中，在藍特哈克房間裡可以看到一幅相似的肖像畫，只是兄弟兩人的形象對調了。
伊莉莎白（Elizabeth）
| “ | 我是誰應該和你無關吧。
— 對關係未知的伊莉莎白提問所得的回應
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伊莉莎白，姓氏未知，是薩凡尼亞‧曼恩 (Zepheniah Mann) 的僕人。自從她的主人死掉以後，薩凡尼亞將他所有的財產（包含所有的地契、銀行帳戶、和政府公債）全部留給了伊麗莎白。她是目前已知最早，也是現在這個與藍隊和紅隊關係錯綜複雜的管理員（Helen）的祖先。
- 伊莉莎白第一次登場是在曼恩家族照中。
愛蜜莉？
在 Loose Canon 漫畫中，有一位和伊莉莎白長相極為相似的女性說服拉迪根建造兩部生命延續裝置，而非照藍特哈克所要求的只幫他製造而已。她是用澳元素賄賂拉迪根誘使他改變計畫的，但她是如何取得重達一百磅的澳元素則無從得知。有一說提到伊莉莎白是她的母親，儘管她的名字和族譜尚屬不明。假如此說屬實，則管理員海倫可能是她的孫女，而絕地要塞工業的營運權有可能代代相傳到了海倫手裡。
- 原始的紙本漫畫顯示了伊莉莎白被稱作「愛蜜莉」，讓人以為這是設定給伊莉莎白女兒的名字，因為這很可能是排版編輯不清楚這兩個角色的緣故，所以造成誤植。愛蜜莉看來似乎對雷德蒙得‧曼恩有淡淡的愛慕。雖然未經官方證實，cp_manor_event地圖中擺了一幅隱藏的愛蜜莉肖像畫當作彩蛋。這項說法的真實度尚無法考證。
寶琳小姐（Miss Pauling）
| “ | 啊，對了鮑羅先生，你朋友的雇主也對他下了同樣的命令。
— 寶琳小姐正煽動塔維許鮑羅，和無名氏先生之間的戰爭。
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寶琳小姐是管理員忠心的助理。她平常有很多事要做，包括"不尋常背景調查"、訂購和運送貨物，和啟動廣播系統之類的事。她就是在某一次例行背景調查時，發現了紅隊爆破兵和藍隊火箭兵的友誼，寶琳小姐之後立刻讓管理員知道此事。為以防管理員發飆，即使寶琳小姐不全不同意她的看法，大部分時間她還是遵從管理員的命令。當她被管理員問到朋友間都在"做"什麼時，她的答覆是「嗯...滑雪...看槍枝型錄....有時只是在聊天...。」另外，她堅持「只要多了解管理員，她其實沒那麼壞。」。
在管理員的指令下，他個人負責運送了一些曼恩企業的高爆客製化新武器，分別給了火箭兵和爆破兵，讓他們自相殘殺。
在2010年12月22日由管理員發的部落格文章中，說明了寶琳小姐因為聖誕節將至，把聖誕襪禮物鑰匙給了所有絕地要塞2玩家。這讓管理員覺得很反感。
- 寶琳小姐首次於戰爭！更新中現身。
畢威爾先生（Mr. Bidwell）
| “ | 我感動到眼淚都快掉下了，先生。這是您的牛排早餐。
— 畢威爾先生展現他的廚藝。
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畢威爾先生（Mr. Bidwell）和雷迪先生一樣，是薩克斯頓‧海爾的助手之一。他的職責有準備海爾的三餐（包括牛排早餐），以及處理客戶回饋的相關事務。畢威爾先生是新的「曼恩企業武器型錄」的設計者，並扮演各項商品的製造商間的聯絡角色。在他初次登場時，畢威爾先生留了兩撇八字鬍，不過在稍後刮掉了。
- 畢威爾先生首次於戰爭！更新中現身。
雷迪先生（Mr. Reddy）
| “ | 您現在是美國第六富有的人了，海爾先生。
— 雷迪先生發揮他的會計知識
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雷迪先生 就如同畢威爾先生，是薩克斯頓‧海爾六名助手的其中之一。他的職責包含了接海爾的電話和管理曼恩企業的財產。在海爾的命令下，雷迪先生寄出了附上寫著《你已經死了》的卡片與花束給美國前五富有的人。在他第一次現身時，他的臉上有一大把八字鬍，但之後已經刮掉了。
- 雷迪先生首次在戰爭！更新中現身。
管理員的信差（Administator's Messenger）
| “ | 就是這裡了。
— 管理員的信差找到籃隊火箭兵的公寓時
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管理員的信差是由管理員雇來的神秘人物，負責用掛在身上的小型電視幫管理員傳達訊息。他們第一次出現是在戰爭更新時，想辦法找到藍隊火箭兵的公寓，並傳達管理員想說的話。
管理員在當時雇信差來是為了要找到藍隊火箭兵，進而使他去攻擊他的朋友，紅隊爆破兵。由此可知，信差在絕地要塞企業中擔任的是特務型的角色。
另一個信差則於專訪導演漫畫中現身，但是被紅隊傭兵抓到，死在拷問的途中。管理員實在是很不喜歡這種情況發生，因為信差一死，他們就無法歸還他們身上的小型電視，這迫使管理員必須再花錢買新的。目前並不知道這個死掉的信差、和戰爭！更新中的信差是不是同一個人。
- 管理員的信差首次在戰爭！更新中現身。
巴拿巴‧海爾（Barnabas Hale）
巴拿巴‧海爾是薩凡尼亞‧曼恩的手下之一，在薩凡尼亞死後繼承了曼恩企業。他是薩克斯頓‧海爾的祖先，最有可能是他的祖父。他也有和薩克斯頓一樣非常具男子氣概的性格。
- 巴拿巴‧海爾首次出現於 Loose Canon 工程師更新漫畫中。
薩克斯頓‧海爾（Saxton Hale）
- 參見薩克斯頓‧海爾內文。
席拉斯‧曼恩（Silas Mann）
- 參照連馬都沒有的無頭騎士。
| “ | 席拉斯‧曼恩長眠於此
— 席拉斯‧曼恩不怎麼準確的墓碑碑文
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席拉斯據推測是薩凡尼亞‧曼恩的兄弟，他在家庭中活動的歷史被謎團籠罩。目前對他所知的是他也是薩凡尼亞‧曼恩父子季刊（曼恩企業前身）的合夥人之一。他對該公司的貢獻包含了製造鑰匙和名稱標籤。席拉斯在他兄弟死後不久也跟著離世，然而死亡對他而言似乎還不是終點。他現在會以連馬都沒有的無頭騎士的身分現身，並在曼恩莊園遊蕩，就像薩凡尼亞會在 Harvest 地圖中以發藍光的鬼魂現身一樣。席拉斯‧曼恩的肖像可以藉由點擊2010萬聖節更新網頁裡的墓碑上面的「Silas」看到。
- 席拉斯‧曼恩的名字最早出現於工程師更新網頁中，被釘在牆上的薩凡尼亞‧曼恩照片頁面上。
站在中央的不明人物
在幾近完成的家族肖像中，可以清楚看到兩張圖片中間的撕裂處還有一個人。這個人的名字不詳，身分也尚待確認。他可以在這裡找到。畫像裡他的左手似乎拿著某個東西，但是無法辨識出究竟是什麼。
- 這位不明人物最早出現於「曼恩家族肖像」中。
導演（The Director）
| “ | 蒙帝先生，如果你能挑一個字形容自己的話，那會是什麼呢？我來幫你回答好了：是「被害者」。
— 導演跟狙擊手的談話
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導演是某個有點傲慢的電影製作人。管理員雇他來拍攝傭兵們，其實是為了要監視並獲取他們的情報，這樣之後必須要對付他們時就有許多有利因素。
但是，搞不清狀況的導演，卻被騙說是要來拍攝給平民看的紀錄片，以證實在 Badlands 的人不是「一群只會拿起武器在裡面亂發射的瘋子」。
當管理員確信自己已經取得許多有關傭兵的情報時，她立刻要寶琳小姐把導演殺掉。於是乎，寶琳小姐把導演帶到一個礦坑，謊稱管理員在裡面正等待他的專訪，同時在不被發現的情況下，她準備了鏟子和生石灰準備毀屍滅跡。目前導演的狀況未明，不過很有可能已經死了。
- 導演首次於重播更新中現身。
紅隊和藍隊隊員的家人
藍隊偵察兵的媽媽
| “ | 藍隊偵查兵：「怎麼？難道你是他的頭號粉絲？」
藍隊間諜：「不...那個人應該是你媽才對。」 — 藍隊偵查兵和藍隊間諜正在討論紅隊間諜的性醜聞
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偵查兵的媽媽曾經在影片專訪間諜中短暫現身。她在南波士頓獨自扶養了偵查兵和他的其他七個「厲害」的哥哥長大，還能神奇地保持身材不致走樣。她和紅隊的間諜有一段非常浪漫的關係。間諜稱呼偵查兵的媽媽為 "ma petite chou-fleur"（法文直譯為「我的小花椰菜」，意思就是「我的甜心」），甚至在他的愛槍全能大使的槍管上刻下她的姿態。當藍隊的偵查兵發現了這段情時，顯得非常震驚，但當時的藍隊偵查兵其實是紅隊間諜假扮的，所以真正的反應不得而知。偵查兵的媽媽的穿著和頭髮皆是 1960 年代晚期婦女的標準風格，在照片中，她穿的是藍色的衣服，所以可以推測紅隊偵查兵的媽媽的衣著會跟她兒子一樣是紅色的。七張藍隊偵察兵媽媽和紅隊間諜的秘密照片，被夾在 "偵查兵的媽媽" 的檔案中，放置於藍隊的基地裡。此外，如果不把火焰兵的性別考慮進去的話，她也是目前遊戲中唯一有模型的女性角色。
- 藍隊偵察兵的媽媽首次出現於專訪間諜中。
鮑羅夫人（Mrs. DeGroot）
| “ | 你爸爸為了五分錢，在滂沱大雨中走了 15 哩，去轟炸英國女皇！
— 鮑羅夫人講述家族的貿易事業。
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爆破兵的媽媽，鮑羅夫人，是一位盲眼，上了年紀的女性，經常追憶爆破兵過世的父親。即使她的兒子擁有一棟豪宅，和數百萬美金的薪水，鮑羅夫人仍舊認為爆破兵沒有認真在工作，並稱說曾擁有26份工作的爆破兵的父親會從墳墓再爬出來譴責兒子的懶惰。此外，她堅持要把爆破兵教導成一名蘇格蘭的爆破兵，也很不希望看到他兒子「浪費掉自己天生的才能」。她也說過：「過了三十歲腦袋裡還剩一顆眼珠的爆破兵實在太愧對他的硫磺了！」
鮑羅夫人和爆破兵的父親，在爆破兵還小的時候把他從克里普孤兒文法學校接回家，並道出他們是爆破兵的親生父母。他們解釋說蘇格蘭的爆破兵小孩出生都會先被遺棄，直到他們的爆破技巧完全展現出來為止。這是個蘇格蘭高地的爆破兵家族由來已久、但完全沒必要的的殘忍傳統。
- 鮑羅夫人首次於戰爭！更新中現身。
拉迪根‧柯納亨爾（Radigan Conagher）
| “ | 「...好吧。」
— 拉迪根‧柯納亨爾聽到怪物般的製造委託時
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工程師的爺爺，拉迪根‧柯納亨爾，在 1890 年代時被藍特哈克‧曼恩雇來建造一台能勝過雷德蒙德的生命維持系統。不過拉迪根在之後被一名和管理員長得很相像的女子找上，要求他必須要作一台一樣的生命維持系統給雷德蒙德，並說會給他稀有的澳元素礦做為報酬。最後拉迪根同意了這項要求。從第一版的工程師更新頁面來看，拉迪根‧柯納亨爾似乎非常支持亞伯拉罕‧林肯，因為裡面的許多發明和設計圖顯示出他當時企圖幫助林肯在戲院逃脫約翰‧威爾克斯‧布思的暗殺。這些設備包括：一頂會射擊敵人的帽子，一張會往地板下移動、逃離敵人的椅子，還有傳送設備。
拉迪根在工程師更新頁面的照片中，可讓人看出他有很誇張的外表轉變。他似乎變得更高、長了鬍子、多了肌肉和對啤酒有莫名的狂熱。這轉變的外表剛好跟TF2中澳洲人的形象相符，因此目前最有可能是因為長期接觸澳元素的關係，才會讓他有如此轉變。在工程師更新頁面的照片中，顯示出拉迪根拿著一根剛開發出來的南方盛情。在他的身體轉變的後期時，照片上顯示出他瘋狂到用一個機械手臂來取代他原本的左手、長了一搓很大的八字鬍、而且胸毛長成了德州的樣子（很像海爾的胸毛，只不過海爾身上的是澳洲的樣子）。種種跡象顯示出拉迪根變得更像一名快活開朗的澳洲人，跟他之前保守的性格有很大的對比。他似乎變得很愛喝藍色條紋品牌的啤酒，和他的孫子戴爾有一樣的喜好。
有一個油漆罐的顏色是以拉迪根來命名的，那種顏色被稱作「拉迪根‧柯納亨爾棕色」。
- 拉迪根‧柯納亨爾首次於 Loose Canon 漫畫中現身。
蒙帝夫婦（Mr. & Mrs. Mundy）
| “ | 我老實地跟你說：我爸媽才不在乎這些哩。
— 狙擊手評論他自己的工作
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狙擊手的父母首次於影片專訪狙擊手被提到過。狙擊手為了要當一個好兒子，經常會打電話或者是透過信件來跟父母保持聯絡和噓寒問暖，通常也會提到自己最近的冒險和發現。不過，住在阿德雷德街左側的紅色屋子裡的蒙帝夫婦，對狙擊手的職業選擇並不是很滿意，尤其狙擊手的老爸還經常譴責兒子只是一個「瘋狂槍手」，即使狙擊手堅持自己是一個「專業的殺手」。在這樣的爭執之下，有次狙擊手寫信給老媽，請她跟爸爸說「我賺得比醫生還多」，最後甚至乾脆寫說「我現在就是醫生」，試圖要化解父母的嘮叨。
據推測，藍隊狙擊手的父母應該是住在阿德雷德街右側的藍色屋子裡。
- 狙擊手的父母首次於專訪狙擊手被提起。
紅隊重裝兵的家人
| “ | 導演：「給我他們的照片。」
紅隊重裝兵：「不。這是我的槍。我喜歡拿它來射擊。你知道這些就好了。」 — 紅隊重裝兵被導演問到童年的事。
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紅隊重裝兵的家人首次在專訪導演的漫畫中被提到，但是透漏得不多。身為一個反革命份子，重裝兵的父親因為不明的原因被殺死。在 1941 年的秋天，重裝兵的父親死後，重裝兵和他的母親以及兩個姐姐，都被關進西伯利亞的勞改營裡面。重裝兵和他的家人在那裏工作了三個月後，勞改營在 1941 的十二月因不明原因被完全毀掉，所有的囚犯全數逃出。之後的調查發現勞改營裡的獄卒全部被凌虐致死。
- 紅隊重裝兵的家人首次於專訪導演漫畫中提到。
一群人
澳大利亞人
| “ | 每個人類的創新發明現在都來自於被啤酒浸腦的澳洲人。
— 管理員的祖先在一個鬍子運動風行，人人痛飲啤酒，還有死亡射線正在被發明的澳大利亞中說道
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曾經一度被認為是蠢材的國家，從1850年開始，澳大利亞人在科技方面成為了全世界中最先進的國家，創新發明包含隱形以及傳送科技，全都出自於這個超愛啤酒的國家。到了 1890 年代，雪梨已經成為了超先進城市，飛行汽車，巨型飛艇以及自我整容的鬍子隨處可見。至於他們的國家英雄，薩克斯頓‧海爾和他的大鬍子，已經變成每個澳大利亞男人女人小孩的模仿對象（有一個人例外）。管理員的祖先認為整個國家不可思議的科技水平都來自稀有的澳元素。這個理論似乎被證明是正確的，因為這個元素將拉迪根‧柯納亨爾的智力提昇到了驚人的程度，而且也導致了一些副作用，包含生長快速的鬍子，變得超 Man，以及在原始的衝動下會脫掉上衣的舉動。
- 澳大利亞人首次出現於Loose Canon 漫畫。
前代藍隊成員
| “ | ...我召集了世界上最危險的傭兵們用武力搶奪那塊土地，但我沒想到的是我那個智障哥哥竟然也作了同樣的事。
— 藍特哈克‧曼恩講述前代藍隊的成員。
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前代藍隊是在 1850年代時由藍特哈克‧曼恩雇請一些傭兵而組成的，目的是要搶奪他哥哥雷德蒙德的那一塊父親留下的廣大土地。但對藍特哈克來說，不幸的是紅隊也在同一時期組成，所以兩隊戰鬥的結果就是無限冗長的僵局。前代的隊伍也是由九個各司其職的職業組成。偵查兵（比利小子）是一個年輕的牛仔槍手，腳上穿著一雙馬靴。火箭兵－士兵（石牆傑克森）看起來像是南北戰爭時期的南軍軍人，配備的不是火箭發射器而是一把步槍。至於爆破兵（阿弗雷德‧諾貝爾）是一個只有一隻眼睛，對炸藥有異常狂熱的採礦者。不像1960年代的俄羅斯人版本，1850 年代的重裝兵（約翰‧亨利）是個美國黑人，喜歡用他的巨大鐵鎚幹掉敵人。狙擊手（大衛‧克拉克）則是帶著他最愛的長槍，還有一頂用浣熊毛製成的帽子。至於身為前任的美國總統，火焰兵（亞伯拉罕‧林肯）在藍隊中則是使用實驗型的火焰槍幫助他的隊友。藍隊的醫護兵（西格蒙德‧佛洛伊德）似乎非常喜愛用他的骨鋸來砍殺敵人，隊裡的工程師（尼古拉‧特斯拉）則使用一袋藍圖而不是PDA，來建造輔助建築物。最後，間諜（傅滿州）戴上了隱藏身份的面罩，留著長長的黑色鬍子，專門執行刺殺工作。
至於前代的紅隊，也就是雷德蒙德雇來的成員，目前身分未明。
- 前代藍隊成員首次於 Loose Canon 更新漫畫中出現。
薩凡尼亞‧曼恩和他的公司
Zepheniah Mann was a wealthy Englishman who was convinced by his dimwitted sons, Blutarch and Redmond, to purchase large areas of land in frontier America. He dreamed of turning the land into large pits of gravel for weapons manufacturing. On his journey over to see his newly purchased land, he was struck with almost every illness known to man, and was shocked to find his new land was an empty and useless desert. Eventually, he left a Last Will and Testament on his own skin, which had sloughed off his body due to illness:
- To his maidservant Elizabeth, he left his estate, including all deeds, accounts and debts, his tobacco plantation and the remains of his fortune. Elizabeth bears a striking resemblance to Helen, the Administrator, and is very likely her ancestor.
- To his aide and tracker Barnabas Hale, ancestor of Saxton Hale, he left complete control of Mann & Sons Munitions Concern.
- To his "brain defective" sons, Blutarch & Redmond, he left a partnership. All of the new land they had convinced him to buy was now to be split evenly between them, so they would now have a reason to bicker endlessly. Blutarch and Redmond are still alive using life-extender machines built by Radigan Conagher.
- The final entry of his will is obscured, reading only as: "Lastly to... I leave the entirety of my.... and swear you to utmost secrecy in its keeping." The person to whom it is directed is likely the figure mysteriously obscured from the family portrait.
- In addition to the entries within the will, it is clear that Zepheniah's brother, Silas Mann, was also present. He however, was only revealed to have been at the event following the uncovering of another damaged photograph.
His will also leaves a curse to anyone who should use firearms near his grave, stating that he will deliver a haunting unlike any ever seen. True to his word, the ghost of Zepheniah will appear periodically on the event version of Harvest where he is buried, wearing his Ghastly Gibus hat. Any players who stray too close will flee in fear for several seconds, unable to jump or attack, similar to being stunned by the Sandman. He was first mentioned in the Halloween Update, as well as the above will.
- Zepheniah Mann and his companions first appeared in the 'Mann Family Portrait'.
其他
查爾斯‧達林（Charles Darling）
| “ | A hunter needs his trophies, Saxton. You of all people should understand that. You were my best student, once. Before you gave it all up, for her.
— Charles Darling on hunting.
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Charles Darling is the former mentor of Mann Co. owner Saxton Hale. Formerly a hunter, Darling decided to give up a life of savagery for a more comfortable one of zoo-keeping. His and Hale's falling-out appeared to occur following Saxton's decision to abandon his training for 'her'. He is currently the owner and proprietor of Darling Zoos, whose collection of animals includes such rare species as pygmy rabbits, quaggas, tasmanian wolves, dodos, giraffes and sea cows. He is also thought to be based off of the famed evolutionist Charles Darwin.
- Charles Darling first appeared in the 'Bidwell's Big Plan' comic.
閒暇的紳士
| “ | A-ha-ha! You are as PRESUMPTUOUS as you are POOR and IRISH. Tarnish notte the majesty of my TOWER of HATS.
— The Gentle Manne of Leisure observes the peasants around him
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The Gentle Manne of Leisure is an English Victorian, who is rich enough to buy a tower of hats. He travels the streets of an English Victorian city with his companion (unnamed), informing the "peasants" that they are presumptuous, poor, and Irish. The Gentle Manne of Leisure wears a tuxedo, carries a cane, and is never seen without his most prized possession; his tower of hats. It is possible that he is referred to as "Sinclaire" by his Companion as they spectate their 'Hatless Commoners' Boxing.
- The Gentle Manne of Leisure was first shown in the 'Classless' update.
- He and his companion can also be found in the June 1814 edition of Gentle Manne's Monthly.
澳大利亞之王
The King of Australia appears as a man wearing a suit and a crown. Even though he is labeled as The king of Australia, he doesn't have a proper moustache. He was also the founder and conqueror of hills. (referring to the King of the Hill gamemode)
- King of Australia was first introduced in 'Classless' Update's secret page.
踢卡索（Kicasso）
| “ | Say, uh... That ain't an original Kicasso, is it?
— Dell Conagher on Blutarch Mann's choice in art
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A painter whose work is on display in the lobby of BLU's headquarters, and recognized by Dell Conagher. At one point, he went through a "Hunted in the Jungle" period of artwork. Most likely a play on the name of the famous artist, Picasso. The Artwork is a parody adaptation of Picasso's 'Self-portrait with Cloak', painted during his "blue period", which is a humorous reference within itself considering that the Kicasso is a part of Blutarch's Mansion.
- Kicasso first appeared in the 'Loose Canon' comic.
噗皮‧喬（Poopy Joe）
| “ | I have no idea what you're - ooo, right. That poor monkey.
— Saxton Hale takes a moment to fondly remember the pioneering primate astronaut
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Poopy Joe was a monkey astronaut who tragically died in an explosion before taking off, caused by Mann Co. in their unsuccessful attempt to rid themselves of weapons involved in a Senate investigation. Mann Co. takes no blame for his death and created commemorative plates that remember Poopy Joe and America's dream of conquering space. These plates were actually hints of the then-upcoming War! Update, depicting the Eyelander, the Equalizer and the Buff Banner's bugle.
- Poopy Joe first appeared in the 'WAR!' update.
殺士比亞（Shakespearicles）
Shakespearicles was the strongest writer who ever lived. He was the inventor of the two-story building, the stage play, America and the Rocket Launcher. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip—most tragically among them, stairs.
For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them, which was rocket jumping. This persisted until 1857, when the young bearded inventor named President Abraham Lincoln invented stairs.
- Shakespearicles first appeared in the 'WAR!' update.
傳特＆潔西卡（Trent＆Jessica）
| “ | ...and the bullets biodegrade once they hit flesh, leaving nothing behind but a blog post.
— Trent explaining Apple's advances in the Minigun market
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Trent and Jessica are two young fellows (and, according to the Soldier, hippies) who work at the Apple store located just outside Dustbowl.
They offered items for sale to the RED Scout and Heavy, specifically a very small looking, yet identical headset for the Scout, and a white, black, and blue Minigun whose bullets add kills to the user's killcount on his blog. (If the user does not have a blog, the gun is programmed to create one.) They also managed to impress the RED Soldier by instantly cooking a pig with a device plugged through a firewire port. Jessica also explained Apple's newest product, the iBlewupthemoon, to Saxton Hale, impressing him and leading him to attempt to purchase the company and being turned down by a "Mysterious" figure that runs the store.
- Trent and Jessica first appeared in the non-canon 'Mac' update comic.
蘋果商店的經理
| “ | Let me see your manager.
— Saxton Hale on blowing up the moon with Apple's latest product
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The Apple Store Manager is the manager of the Apple store located on the outskirts of Dustbowl, and presumably the employer of Trent and Jessica.
When Saxton Hale wants to buy out the company, he denied the request with the words "No sale, Hale!" He is presumably one of Hale's curvy long time rivals.
- The Apple Store Manager first appeared in the non-canon 'Mac' update comic.
曼恩企業猿猴（The Mann Co. Ape）
| “ | WIN A PRIZE! If you order now, you'll be automatically entered in a free giveaway. An all-expenses paid trip, including first class airfare, and a limousine ride, will be given to a gorilla so he can come to your house and fight you!
— From the Mann-Conomy update page
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The Mann Co. Ape appeared on the bottom of the Mann-Conomy update page, with the above caption next to it. At the time, many readers assumed that there would be some kind of actual prize draw for the first players to buy items from the Mann Co. Store, however the only bonus to buying items was receiving a Mann Co Cap. Additionally, when the mouse is hovered over the picture, the Ape on the update page closes one of its eyes when it is rolled over, looking as if it is winking. Clicking on the image of the Ape would take the user to a framed image of the Ape.
- The Mann Co. Ape first appeared in the 'Mann-Conomy' update.
老尼克（Old Nick）
| “ | The nice children are given the greatest gift of all -- they are not abducted along with the naughty ones and carted off to the South Pole.
— Robin Walker on the story of Old Nick
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On December 18, 1788 a man named Nicholas Crowder was on a voyage to Australia, and upon witnessing the heat and privations, decided to turn the boat around and set course to conquer the South Pole, where, according to legend, he still lives. Every December 18th, "Old Nick" as he is now known, returns to Australia to judge whether or not the children have been naughty or nice. The nice children get the gift of not being abducted and taken to the South Pole to work in Old Nick's workshop. The bad children make hats and weapons for Old Nick which are delivered to his Mansion on December 17. Old Nick sells any duplicate weapons and hats he has received online "practically giving them away".
- Old Nick first appeared in the 'Australian Christmas update'.
法蘭西斯：會說話的法國（Francis the Talking France）
| “ | They sound complicated enough that Valve decided they had no business judging cinéma.
— Francis the Talking France on French vocabulary
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Francis the Talking France seems to be a sentient manifestation of France with an apparent knowledge of cinema. He claims to be the inventor of the French terms "Mise en scene! Auteur! Avante-garde! Montage! Even cinéma!". Valve put him in charge of judging all the Saxxy entries, but realizing that the job would be too big for himself, he opened the voting to the public.
- Francis the Talking France first appeared on the website Old Man Murray, co-written by Valve writer Eric Wolpaw.[1]
- The character appeared on the TF2 Official Blog on the 20th of May[2]
- Francis is actually a mirror image of France, with its west in the east and vise-versa
鴿子阿基米德（Archimedes）
Archimedes appears in Meet the Medic as one of the Medic's feathered friends. He has an eerie habit of getting in the way of most procedures, including wallowing in the innards of the Heavy. Archimedes is last heard of from the insides of the Scout after his new Übercharged heart-implant leaves the curious bird stuck inside.
Merasmus the Magician
| “ | GAZE NOT UPON THE BROOM. And yes, that broom.
— Merasmus the Magician instructing a young RED Demoman before his dusting duties
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Merasmus the Magician is the RED Soldier's roommate and keeper of the Bombinomicon. When the RED Demoman was seven years old, his mother told him that the dead rose on All Hallow's Eve and would have work for him. Having traveled to the moors to seek out this work, he discovered Merasmus, who hired him to sweep his vast library for a nickel, but cautioned him not to touch the Bombinomicon. Ultimately, the Demoman was goaded by the book into opening it, causing the tome to possess his left eye. Merasmus was forced to remove it from the boy and when the Demoman awoke, Merasmus had vanished along with his castle. In the present day, he invites himself to the RED team's halloween party and reveals his tumultuous relationship with the Soldier, as they have disagreements on whose turn it is to do household chores. When the Soldier breaks his staff over his knee, he angrily summons Monoculus for them to fight.
- Merasmus first appeared in the comic Bombinomicon
- Merasmus is the magician that the Soldier angered, causing both teams to be sent back in time to DeGroot Keep.
火箭兵的「戰友」
The Soldier's "Friends" are supposedly a group of old war buddies, named Salty Pete, Iron Eye and Pepper Pot Pete, that the Soldier goes camping/has tea parties with. They are almost instantly revealed, however, to be merely cardboard cutouts, who the Soldier has made up imaginary backstories for. The Soldier mentions that Salty Pete once dug a trench that inadvertently killed a lot of their own side, but this backstory could just be made up on the spot as the Soldier had already forgotten his name, calling him 'Salsa Pete'. By the end of the strip the Soldier declares that the 'four' of them will be joining the Space Marines.
- Salty Pete, Iron Eye and Pepper Pot Pete first appeared in the 'Grodborts' update.
歷史人物
總統
亞伯拉罕‧林肯
Wikipedia article: Template:W
In addition to being the nation's 16th president, Abraham Lincoln was also the BLU team's first Pyro when the war began in the 1800's. Abraham Lincoln is noted for his love of Arena Mode as shown in the Sniper vs Spy update. According to the WAR! Update, he was the inventor of stairs. According to the Engineer update, Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by John "Tower of Hats" Booth, although the WAR! Update attributes his death to rocket-jumping. Furthermore, according to the Loose Canon comic, there were blueprints for three "life-extender machines," the last one apparently built on the day of Lincoln's death. Whether or not the Abraham is still alive is open to debate.
喬治‧華盛頓
Wikipedia article: Template:W
The father of our country, George Washington, invented America, but historians agree his greatest failure was his inability to be permanently invisible. With the advent of the Cloak and Dagger, the Spy can succeed where the inventor of America failed.
George Washington first appeared in the Sniper vs Spy Update.
非總統
弗雷德‧阿斯泰爾（Fred Astaire）
Wikipedia article: Template:W
Fred Astaire, born Frederick Austerlitz, was an American film and Broadway stage dancer, choreographer, singer and actor. His stage and subsequent film career spanned a total of 76 years, during which he made 31 musical films. He was particularly susceptible to projectile weapons fire.
- Fred Astaire first appeared in the 'WAR!' update.
約翰‧帽塔‧布斯（John "Tower of Hats" Booth）
Wikipedia article: Template:W
John "Tower of Hats" Booth was the assassin of beloved president Abraham Lincoln. His last known photograph depicts him wearing his eponymous tower of hats. A wanted poster of him was published after the assassination, including an altered photograph depicting what he may look like after adding Abraham Lincoln's fearsome hat to said tower.
- John Booth first appeared in the 'Engineer' update.
Valve角色
威塔克（Whitaker）
| “ | RED, BLU -- your money's all green here.
— Whitaker on the TF Industries War
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Whitaker, a minor character in Left 4 Dead 2, wrote a blog update on the Official Team Fortress 2 blog advertising the promotional Ellis' Cap and Frying Pan one can get from purchasing or previously owning Left 4 Dead 2. Based on his opening paragraph, he is southern like the other Left 4 Dead 2 characters. It seems he is neutral towards the RED and BLU Corporations' feud, and also seems to know little-to-nothing about TF Industries other than "what he is told". It also appears that his existence is outside of Team Fortress 2's canonical storyline, as he refers to the war as an "infernal game called Team Fortress 2". However, this can be countered by the fact that he seems to be addressing the RED and BLU team members in the blog. Within Left 4 Dead 2, he is voiced by Dayton Callie.
- This character has only been seen in the 10/06/10 TF2 Blog update as of yet, and may be non-canon. For more information unrelated to Team Fortress 2, refer here.
