A Smissmas Story
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| A Smissmas Story | |
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| Comic Strip Info | |
| Released: | December 14, 2011 |
| Number of pages: | 14 |
| “ | I am Old Nick! I am the spirit of Australian Christmas. And I have come for your children.
— Old Nick
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” |
A Smissmas Story is a comic released on December 14, 2011, to coincide with the release of Australian Christmas 2011.
Contents
Synopsis
The story opens when a plump businessman named Archibald wearing a bowler discovers, to his delight, a ticking bomb upon the doorstep of his "Bombs for the Poor" non-profit charity. He calls his friend Julius to inspect the bomb, declaring that some good Samaritan has left it there, and Julius declares that the people of Teufort will rejoice. After noting the lack of any information of the sender, a stern voice cuts the story off. A severe judge looks at the BLU Scout, seriously doubting the veracity of his claim. When the Scout checks with his legal counsel, the BLU Soldier and Spy, the Spy has slammed his head onto the table, but the Soldier gives the affirmative. The Scout sticks to his story, and the judge presents evidence that the bomb destroyed a Mall Santa training facility. When the judge mentions that the Scout has yet to give any names, the Scout quickly accuses the Soldier of being the mastermind of the plot, upon which the Soldier begins strangling him. The judge wearily sentences them all to community service.
A single mother approaches the resentful Scout (dressed as an elf) and asks about the wait to meet Santa. The Scout immediately begins flirting with her, but sends her to the back of the line when he realizes she has a husband. The Scout continues folding his arms as two lines proceed behind him, one for single moms and the other for everyone else. As a boy named Jack with a bowl cut begins listing his Smissmas list to the Soldier dressed up as Santa, the Soldier rejects all of his desires and gives him a military haircut. When the boy's father intervenes, the Soldier prepares to beat him up. As the Soldier fights, the Spy is on a phone pleading with Miss Pauling to help release them. Though Miss Pauling wants to hear how the Soldier became a public defender, the Spy dismisses it with the excuse of Merasmus. He claims that everything is fine as the Soldier smashes the father's face.
Suddenly, Old Nick arrives with a pack of aggressive reindeer. He proclaims his intent to take as many children as possible, and Miss Pauling angrily orders them to take care of matters. When Jack fearfully walks up to the Spy, he bestows the child with an icicle taken from the telephone booth. The Spy orders the boy to obey every action of his plan, as Miss Pauling shouts for him to run. Meanwhile, Old Nick and the Scout are locked in a Showdown, the Scout brandishing a roll of wrapping paper. Old Nick charges as the Scout insults his cape, and the Scout hurls a festive ornament at him. Suddenly, the Soldier starts to beat Old Nick using a Saxton Hale action figure, and Old Nick crumples to the ground. Jack appears before him, and Old Nick grabs the boy and declares his plan to abduct him and consign him to hard labor. Jack quickly takes out the Spy's icicle and stabs him in the neck.
Old Nick crumples to the floor, and the Scout congratulates the Spy, assuming he had disguised as the boy. However, the Spy is with the media, proclaiming the warriors as heroes. The Scout boasts about how normal this is compared to his ordinary life, while the Soldier is happy about discovering the War on Smissmas. The comic ends with Jack reminiscing with the Spy about his experience with stabbing, and seems to have learned that murder isn't so bad. The Spy congratulates the boy and wishes him a merry Smissmas. A front page of a newspaper is displayed, showing the Scout flirting with the single mother, the Soldier grinning as he assists the battered father up, and the Spy giving Jack a piggyback ride. The headline declares that they no longer need to perform community service after destroying a supposedly-mythical holiday mascot.
Pages
Page 1
Page 2
Page 3
Page 4
Page 5
Page 6
Page 7
Page 8
Page 9
Page 10
Page 11
Page 12
Page 13
Page 14
Trivia
External links
- A Smissmas Story on the TF2 Official Website.
- Blog post that accompanied the announcement of the 'A Smissmas Story' comic on the TF2 Official Website.
See also
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