User:Texaneer

“

You just ain't doin' it right. Click to listen — Texaneer about valve items.

”

Texaneer
Basic information
Icon:
Type:	Multiprupose
Health:	125 /185 150 /225 With gunslinger
Speed:	"As fast as I can"

Texaneer is a BLU engineer who likes to make some stuff. He's (not) known from making (not so good) gmod videos and playing only in trade_ maps. Except making stuff he likes also Fallout, Transformers, mechs, Linkin Park, Coldplay, Queen and Minecraft. He also don't like colorful horse mutants(also known as ponies.) and he's sick of it because of their massive apperance and domination over TF2(but not only here. Also in Minecraft or deviantART). He represents ARC's Randomness element.

Main Prupose of this page

It not only serves as user account but I want to show to valve how their weapons SUCKS and needs to be changed.




P.s.: Does not includes cookies.

Changes that I want them in TF2

Weapons

Weapons
Class	Weapon	Current Stats	Change Suggestion	Comments/Notes
Multiple classes	Melee Frying Pan	~	The item is now obtainable by craft and drop  Players who already owned Frying Pan before the update and not upgraded into Strange will have in Vintage quality  Alongside with Ellis Cap, it's no longer obtainable by purchasing Left 4 Dead 2  It's a rare drop	~
	Melee Conscientious Objector	~	Pyro's Objector now uses Axe animations and Lollichop taunt  It's a rare drop	no
	Melee Bat Outta Hell	~	Added level: Level 31 Bat  It's a rare drop	~
Scout	Secondary Winger	+15% damage bonus  +25% greater jump height when active  -60% clip size	No damage bonus  No clip size penalty  +25% greater jump height on wearer  -30% reduction in push force taken from damage  -1 capture rate on wearer  25% longer weapon switch	You will hate me for this rework. But hey, it would be even better if they would make a stronger pistol for scout. Winger is just a tool.
	Secondary Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol	+50% fire damage vulnerability on wearer  -25% slower firing speed	No fire damage vulnerability on wearer  No fire rate penalty  -25% health from healers on wearer  25% longer weapon switch	This will probably work. Taking half more damage from fire is too ridiculous for my standards. I wanted also to slow down user's weapon switch rate because of, you know, sandman. And if they have more health, then we should cut his healing from healers a little bit.
	Melee Candy Cane	On kill: A small health pack is dropped	No longer drops a health pack on kill  +2 health regenerated per second on wearer	Have you ever seen anyone with Candy Cane?
	Melee Boston Basher/Three-Rune Blade	On miss: damage and bleeding to self	No self-damage and bleeding on miss  -30% slower firing speed  No random critical hits	I was thinking that Boston/Rune supposed to be a "Hit-n-Run" weapon, not ubercharge building device.
	Melee Atomizer	-20% damage penalty	No damage penalty	It's a tool, not weapon.
Soldier	Primary Liberty Launcher	-25% blast damage from rocket jumps	Deals mini-crits while the wielder is rocket jumping  +40% blast damage from rocket jumps  No random critical hits	If this became real, put Gunboats on. Current LL is a dull weapon. Nothing but Better projectile speed, reduced self damage from rocket jumps and less damage.
	Secondary Reserve Shooter	Mini-crits airborne targets for 3 seconds after switch  -50% clip size	Mini-crits airborne targets  -34% clip size  -15% damage penalty vs. non-airborne targets	Little buff which it paid with a some sort of downside.
	Secondary Buff Banner	~	Immune to effects of stun	Idk
	Melee Escape Plan	You are marked for death while active, and for short period after switching weapons	No self mark for death while active  -50% damage penalty	I'll be honest, I never used this weapon in combat(If necessary I had to.) but only to run away to spawn.
	Melee Pain Train	10% bullet damage vulnerability on wearer	No bullet damage vulnerability  Can be also equipped by pyro  Increase in push force taken from damage and airblast	Why not? If it looks like pyro weapon(and it supposed to be made for him too, if you take a look at early screenshot).
	Melee Disciplinary Action	On Hit Ally: Boosts both players' speed for 4 seconds	On Hit Ally: Boosts both players' speed for 6 seconds	They should run faster for longer than 4 seconds. It could be even more better for other classes if it will last 6 seconds so you don't have to hit teammate all the time.
Pyro	Primary Flamethrower/Backburner/Degreaser	~	Has 0.5 second extended delay between airblasts  Increased airblast cost from 20 to 30	We all know that pyro is OP. The real pyro player shouldn't spam with airblasts and should not have any goddamn chance to finish off with Flare Gun/Reserve Shooter or Axtinguisher. For short: You have made a big mistake.
	Primary Backburner	+150% airblast cost  Critical hits enabled	+65% airblast cost  +50% airblast push force  No random critical hits	If it says Backburner. Why still randomly crits?(Note: ariblast cost reduction would be implemented when airblast cost increase is applied)
	Primary Degreaser	65% faster weapon switch time  -10% damage penalty	35% faster weapon switch time  +25% burn duration  -20% damage penalty	I know, they think that this weapon makes them more pro. But is that really necessary to run with axtinguisher while you could just take 2-3 shots from pump gun?
	Melee Axtinguisher/Postal Pummeler	-50% damage vs. non burning targets  No critical hits vs. non burning targets	Damage formula tweak:  -25% damage penalty  No random critical hits  Increase in push force taken from damage and airblast while deployed	Why not make it like Neon annihilator?
	Melee Homewrecker/Maul	-25% damage vs. playes	No damage penalty vs. players  +30% reduction in push force taken from damage while deployed  -25% slower firing speed  No random critical hits  Maul can be purchased from mann.co store	Do they know that homewrecker is useless against buildings and people will use only to help engies with sappers?
	Melee Third Degree	~	-30% damage taken from ranged sources while deployed  +50% damage taken from melee sources while deployed	Making Third Degree like Fists of Steel for pyro is more logical than being a fire axe upgrade with hard to use buff.
	Melee Back Scratcher	-75% health from healers on wearer	-50% health from healers on wearer	~
Demoman	Primary Bootlegger	+100% increase in turning control while charging	No turning control bonus while charging  -50% blast damage from explosive jumps	We don't need a skin for Wee booties. We demand gunboats for demoman.
	Secondary Sticky Jumper	-6 max pipebombs out	-4 max pipebomb out	Dick move, Valve.
	Secondary Splendid Screen	+70% increase in charge impact damage	Charge grants only mini-crits instead of full crits  +50% increase in charge impact damage  The strenght of knockback will depend on distance traveled. Will not cause knockback at all at short range.	Chargin Targe is also good enough. I know that this one is more for offense, but they are going too damn far. At least I can just burn them as pyro, not like these with chargin targes.
	Melee Horseless Headless Horsemann's Headtaker	Unusual quality	Haunted quality  Horseless Headless Horseman Headtaker can be traded	I don't see anything "unusual" in remodeled halloween eyelander
	Melee Scotsman's Skullcutter	+20% damage bonus  -15% slower move speed on wearer	+25% damage bonus  No move speed penalty  No random critical hits  -25 max health on wearer	It's just an eyelander, only stronger(and does not provide health and speed bonus on kill).
	Melee Persian Persuader	+100% increase in charge recharge rate	+60% increase in charge recharge rate  -50% health from healers on wearer  +30% health from packs on wearer	Persian makes "Demoknight" way more annoying than usual. Just because normally it takes half time to recharge. Also player should get more health from ammo and less from Medics and Dispensers. And btw, Back Scratcher for demoman? Why not?
	Melee Claidheamh Mòr	-15 max health on wearer	On kill: Fully recharges targe charge  -25 max health on wearer	Claidheamh Mòr is like Liberty Launcher, it's a dull weapon. Nothing but extended charge distance. Player should be rewarded with restored charge so he can charge and kill players one by one.
Heavy	Primary Natascha	30% longer spin up time	20% longer spin up time	It spins too slow, so enemy scout has chance to kill you in seconds or two(especially when uses faggy Sandman + Flying Guillotine strategy). It needs to be reduced. Not much but reduced.
	Primary Brass Beast	~	Immune to effects of knockback while deployed	Since Valve removed the item set bonuses, we need to give something to brass.
	Primary Tomislav	+10% faster barrel spin-up  -20% slower firing speed	No fire rate penalty  +25% faster barrel spin-up  +15% faster move speed while deployed  -20% damage penalty	Old one was ok, but with that change than MAYBE spins 10% faster, it still spins with the rate of minigun. With higher mobility, it would make a perfect offense weapon and also in defense.
	Primary Huo-Long Heater	6 ammo consumed per second while deployed	+30% fire damage resistance while deployed  Separated ammo consumption  2 ammo consumed per second while spun up  5 ammo consumed per second while firing  20% longer spin up time	Yet another dull weapon in TF2. And let's be honest, fire is weak against fire eh? So why not give him fire damage resistance while deployed?
	Secondary Robo-Sandvich	~	Can be obtained by purchasing from mann co. store.	We have Ap-Sap in store. Now we have to do the same thing with this.
	Secondary Family Business	-15% damage penalty	Half of damage done restores ammo for primary weapon  -20% damage penalty	Family Business is just an upgrade for stock Shotgun. How about that? A shotgun that gives ammo for your minigun every time you hurt?
	Melee Fists of Steel	-40% damage from ranged sources while active  -20% slower weapon switch  +100% damage from melee sources while active	-25% slower weapon switch  -25% slower firing speed  -30% reduction in push force taken from damage  +30% bullet damage resistance on wearer  +10% sentry damage resistance on wearer  No increased damage from melee sources  No reduced damage from ranged sources	A little rework. Ok, I know. You hate me already.
	Melee Eviction Notice	~	On hit: +20 health	Just a little idea came to my mind. I think this will make more useful than current one.
Engineer	Primary Rescue Ranger	-50% max primary ammo on wearer  Self mark for death on building pick up	-25% max primary ammo on wearer  Increased damage by 10%  Self mark for death on ranged building pick up	I know that this weapon serves as "Tool weapon" prupose, but it should be buffed. Not that much, but buffed. And the self mark should affect only when you pick up a building from long range. Not from any.
	Primary Pomson 6000	On Hit: Victim loses 10% Medigun charge  On Hit: Victim loses 20% cloak	On Hit: Victim loses 15% of charge  Deals only 20% damage to buildings (Not hidden)  No random critical hits  Uses shotgun hitboxes	Who needs medigun charge and cloak drain while you can drain Uber, Cloak and Rage at once? Also, we need to take random crits away. And make damage penalty to buildings shown
	Secondary Short Circuit	~	Cannot destroy Cow Mangler projectiles.	That doesn't make any sense. Why they ever allowed to destroy projectiles from energy weapons?
	Melee Southern Hospitality	~	+25 max building health  Reduces sentry damage by 15% and rocket damage by 20%  Reduces dispenser heal and metal generation rate by 10%	What about giving special bonuses to buildings?
	Melee Jag	+30% faster building rate (bugged)	+25% faster building rate (Fixed and literally 25%)  Reduces build amd repair cost by 20%  -25% metal from packs on wearer	I know, Valve will never change none of these weapons on my list. I perfecly know. Even they won't fix jag which instead of 30% build speed bonus we got about 18% bonus.
	Melee Eureka Effect	~	Reduces sapper damage by 20% and reduces downgrade speed by 2 seconds	~
Medic	Primary Blutsauger	On hit: +3 health  -2 health drained per second on wearer	No health on hit  No health drain on wearer  On hit: Mad Milk applied to target for 3 seconds  -25% slower firing speed	We didn't asked for Tank Medic.
	Primary Overdose	Movement speed increases based on ÜberCharge percentage to a maximum of +10%	Movement speed increases based on ÜberCharge percentage to a maximum of +15%  Immune to the effects of speed reduction  -25% clip size	It needs something different to make it more challenging for user and for foe.
	Secondary Kritzkrieg	Taunt heals 11 hp	Taunt heals 30 hp	It's not so much for heavily wounded medic, even health regeneration doesn't help much(Not that bad, but not so much). If player want fully restore health, then he/she/it should "get stoned" so much till health is 100% or die from filthy F2P scout's scatter gun.
	Melee Vita-Saw	On death up to 20% of your stored ÜberCharge is retained  -10 max health on wearer	No max health penalty  No longer retains ÜberCharge on death  On hit: +15 health  +20% faster firing speed  -30% damage penalty  -2 health drained per second on wearer	Max health penalty is a too pointless downside of vita saw. If you think that my suggestion is bad. You can always tell me what you could change.
Sniper	Primary Machina	Full charge: +15% damage bonus	Full charge: +20% damage bonus  -25% charge rate	Nothing personal. I just wanted to shut up those so called "Headshot-Only-pr0-1337-Unusual-Black Bill-Sniper" players.
	Secondary Razorback	~	Deals 15 damage both for attacker and user on backstab blocking	Have you ever seen a guy who's using Razorback?
	Secondary Cleaner's Carbine	On kill: 3 seconds of 100% critical chance  -35% slower firing speed	On kill: 5 seconds of 100% critical chance  -20% slower firing speed	Short crit chance time and slow firing rate makes this weapon UP, it needs a buff.
	Melee Shahanshah	+25% increase in damage when health <50% of max  -25% decrease in damage when health >50% of max	Reworked damage formula:  +25% damage bonus  +25% damage Damage vulnerability while deployed	This is probably the worst weapon for sniper ever exsisted.
Spy	Primary L'Etranger	-20% damage penalty	-20% damage penalty while undisguised	Spy's guns should be more like "Suprise madafaka!". With exception for Ambassador.
	Primary Diamondback	~	Reduced critical shot cap from 35 to 28	Now people went too damn far and I want to shut their mouths in any possible way.
	Melee Big Earner	-25 max health on wearer	No max health penalty  -25% slower firing speed	Someone suggested this on steam forums. I must say, I approve his suggestion
	Melee Conniver's Kunai Suggestion 1	On Backstab: Absorbs the health from your victim.	On Backstab: Absorbs the health from your victim and temporarily increase max health  Max health extension: up to 165 HP for 16 seconds  Health drain depends on class max HP.  Unable to see enemy health	Another idea that came to my mind. It's just a cross between Kunai and Dalokohs Bar. The highest max HP has victim(Heavy, or demoman with 200 hp or more) the more health you get.
	Melee Conniver's Kunai Suggestion 2	On Backstab: Absorbs the health from your victim.  -65 max health on wearer	-25 max health on wearer  Reworked backstabing:  Increases max health by +15 up to +75 max health bonus per backstab  Unable to see enemy health  Reduces max health bonus by -15 on miss	Another idea which is based on eyelander, but more challenging.

Hats and miscs

Hats
Class	Hat	Changes	Reason
All Class	Hat Bill's hat	Can be obtained by craft and drop  Players who already owned Bill's hat before the update will have in Vintage quality	I don't like bills. Not because I don't have one. Just, don't, like, them.
	Hat Ellis' Cap	Can be obtained by craft and drop  Players who already owned Ellis' Cap before the update will have in Vintage quality  Alongside with Frying Pan, it's no longer obtainable by purchasing Left 4 Dead 2	~
	Hat Spiral Sallet	The item is tradeable  The item has styles: Open(default), Closed and Mighty(original Mighty Cobalt Helm colors)	~
	Misc Game promo medals	Awesomenauts Badge, Vigilant Pin, Whale Bone Charm, Merc Medal, Mark of the Saint, Hitt Mann Badge, Croft's Crest, Heroic Companion Badge, Bolgan Family Crest, Companion Cube Pin and Atomic Accolade are no longer obtainable trough craft, mann co. store purchase and drop.	It's a reward from game purchase, isn't it?
Soldier	Hat Battle Bob	Changed from hat into misc	It looks terrible as hat.
Demoman	Misc Battery Bandolier	Can be also worn by Soldier and Pyro	Whatever
Heavy	Hat One-Man Army/Your Worst Nightmare	One-Man Army is merged with Your Worst Nightmare headwear for sniper under the name One-Mann Army, which can be worn both by Heavy and Sniper.  Replaced Your Worst Nightmare with One-Mann Army	That makes no sense, have 2 identical hats for other classes that is not one hat.

Tools

Tools
Class	Tool/s	Changes	Reason
Tools	Tools Team Paints	All team paints can be obtained by drop.	~
	Tools Other Paints	Pink as hell, A colour similiar to Slate, Dark Salomon Injustice, A bitter taste of Defeat and Lime, The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants, Drably Olive, Mann's Mint, After Eight, A Distinctive Lack of Hue and An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge are obtainable by dropping.	~

P.s.: Screw your economy. It's all about the goddamn gameplay, not trading. If you reeeally want to trade, then trade cards just like in old times or spend time with your friends, I dunno, drinking beer, playing football, etc.

Suggestion zone

My head is full of (Sometimes) good ideas. Here we can see my suggestions(Meh-LON):

Robots

Robot Ideas
Robot	Name/Image	Weapon	Hat	Misc	Notes / Abilities
Scout	150px Major Scout Giant, Main	Scattergun	Hermes	None	3000 HP  +250% bullet per pellet  +20% faster firing sped  +4 shots in clip  -50% damage dealt  -25% move speed  Does not fire until fully reloaded
	150px Knight Scout Normal, Main	Three-Rune Blade	Spiral Sallet	None	1.4x larger in size  150 HP  Causes bleeding for 5 seconds  35% slower firing speed  -10% move speed
	Wrap Assassin Normal, Support	Wrap Assassin	Big Elfin Deal	Bootie Time	+85% faster recharge time  Launches a festive ornament that shatters causing bleed  -90% damage dealt
Soldier	150px Space Marine Normal, Support	Righteous Bison	None	None	Fires penetrating energy bolts  Projectiles cannot be deflected  +27% move speed  175 HP  Deals only 20% damage to buildings
	150px Super Space Marine Normal, Main and Support	Cow Mangler 5000	None	None	1.4x larger in size  +30% smaller head size  Projectiles cannot be deflected  Deals only 20% damage to buildings
	150px Giant Space Marine Giant	Cow Mangler 5000	None	None	3800 HP  +60% knockback resistance  Can charge up fire which deals mini-crits and shuts down buildings  Projectiles cannot be deflected  -50% move speed  Does not fire until fully reloaded  Deals only 50% damage to buildings
Pyro	150px Firefighter Juggernaut	Flare Gun	Firewall Helmet	None	1.9x larger in size  67,000 HP  +60% knockback resistance  Extra +90% vertical airblast resistance  1.5x damage dealt  100% crit chance against burning targets  Regenerates 250 HP per second  Fires twice as fast  Provides 90% less rage  -50% move speed
	150px Pyro Runner Normal, Main	Powerjack	Hottie's Hoodie	None	1.4x larger in size  300 HP  +30% smaller head size  +25% move speed  +30% knockback resistance
Heavy	150px Heavy Slowdown-On-hit Normal, Support	Natascha	None	None	100% chance to slow target  -50% damage dealt
	150px Giant Heavy Slowdown-On-hit Giant, Main	Natascha	Pilotka	None	5000 HP  +70% knockback resistance  100% chance to slow target  -50% move speed  -50% damage dealt
	150px Heavy Brawler Type 1 Normal, Main	Eviction Notice	Hound Dog	None	1.4x larger in size  500 HP  +60% Faster firing speed  +20% move speed  -30% damage dealt
	150px Heavy Brawler Type 2 Normal, Main	Eviction Notice	Hound Dog	None	1.4x larger in size  400 HP  +60% Faster firing speed  +20% move speed  Heals 15 HP on hit  -50% damage dealt
Engineer	150px Repairman Normal, Support	Jag	Data Mining Light	None	Can take sappers off the giant robots  Repairs tanks  +30% move speed  175 HP  Cannot build
Sniper	150px Railgun Sniper Normal, Support	Machina	None	None	1.4x larger in size  +30% smaller head size  Can penetrate trough players  +25% damage dealt  -20% move speed  Uses tracer rounds