Mann Co.
- This article is about the fictional company, for other uses see Mann Co. Store and Mann-Conomy Update.
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| “ | We sell products and get in fights.
— Mann Co. slogan
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” |
Mann Co. is a division of TF Industries. Originally founded by Zepheniah Mann, it was left to his Australian aide and tracker Barnabas Hale as instructed by his last will and testament. The company is currently run by Barnabas' descendant Saxton Hale who operates on the policy that if you aren't 100% satisfied with their product line, you can take it up with him. They published Dapper Rogue, a catalog for the "gentleman scoundrel", of which the Spy is a purveyor. The Administrator is known to make use of Mann Co. for custom orders via Miss Pauling. They were also the subject of two Senate investigations, one in relation to their alleged part in the tragic destruction of American monkeynaut Poopy Joe's capsule during takeoff and the other in relation to teaching boys aged 6-16, among other things: moral turpitude, arson, vandalism, hippie assault, tax fraud, at-home laryngectomies, car theft, gorilla slaughter, and the Heimlich Maneuver (which had just been invented and was still considered controversial).
Mann Co. went "online" in the Mann-Conomy Update when Saxton Hale discovered the existence of the Internet after one of his employees, who was losing a fight against a gorilla during "Gorilla Wrestling Fridays", asked for his mother to be notified by email. Saxton Hale currently owns England due to the Internet, and the Mann Co. Store was created as well – a way for people to buy and sell hats, weapons, bundles, and other Miscellaneous items with actual cash.
In days gone by, the company served the Badlands and ran The Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co. Quarterly Concern, a "compendium of broad swords, musket gonnes and domesday weaponry for immediate sale" – a tome of no small interest to the Soldier.
Products
Saxton hale:The names Saxton Hale,manliest Mann in the world,C.E.O. of Mann Co.,Australian, and Shirtless muscle man!
Mann Co. is responsible for a number of products, including:
| Image | Product |
|---|---|
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Ambassador |
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Camera Beard |
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Chargin' Targe |
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"Cloak and Dagger" Spy Watch |
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Crab-Walking Kit |
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"Dead Ringer" Spy Watch |
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Direct Hit |
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Flamethrower Lighter |
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"Force-A-Nature" Double Barreled Shotgun |
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Googly Gazer |
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Hat-Wearing Man magazine |
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"How-to-Date Book Series" |
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"Jarate - The Jar-Based Karate!" Self Defense Kit |
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"Larate - The Super-Fast Karate!" Self Defense Kit |
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Macrofilm Suit |
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Mann Co. Buildable Industries Worldwide Brand Adjustable Spanners |
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Poopy Joe Commemorative Plates |
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Portable Baccarat Detector |
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Private Eye |
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Razorback Hand-Crafted Tribal Shield |
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"Ro-bots" |
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Sandman |
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Sandvich Edible Device |
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"Saxton Series" comics |
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Silk Cape and Gloves |
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Silk shopping bag with realistic-looking baguette sticking out of it |
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Ski Mask Grappling Hook |
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Truth Serum Cigarettes |
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Ullapool Caber |
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Underwater Hypnopen |
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Unsettlingly thin glue-on mustache |
- As Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co.:
| Product |
|---|
| Broad Swords |
| Domesday Weaponry |
| Musket Gonnes |
| Sulphurous Cannonading Projectiles |
| Vial of Toxiferous Plague |
Gallery
Mann Co. HQ
Related merchandise
Trivia
- Mann Co. was first introduced into the Team Fortress universe on May 15, 2009 when Spy Update day 4 was released on the Team Fortress 2 Blog.
- According to A Visual History, as well as Bidwell's Big Plan, Mann Co. products tend to break down, catch on fire (although Saxton Hale claims that that's how he knows the products are working), and melt into people's skulls.
- Saxton Hale claims in the same comic that he makes square, unsafe products for men, at least until he finds the 'iBlewUptheMoon' item.
- Rick, the Adventure Sphere from Portal 2 claims he has a black belt in Larate.
- "Mann Co." also has gone by the name of "Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co." and "Mann & Sons Munitions Concerns".
