Team Fortress Wiki:April Fools' Day/Future/Archive 0

The following discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.

Disclaimer from Staff

Just putting this here so that anyone who joins up and wasn't on IRC when the project was conceived can all be on the same page:

I'd like everything to be settled on and ready by March 31, so that I can link up a full set of pages in Trending Topics. Take all the time you need until then to discuss, organize, and put together everything you'd like to show up in the fake update. My suggestion is to decide on a name and theme last, once you've confirmed what it is that you're all able and wanting to do.

With regards to off-limits stuff (since I'm the one who puts the links up, it's my ass on the line if people get pissed, so I reserve the right to veto suggestions), please try to avoid the following:

• New weapons or balance changes that are based on actual problems with TF2
• Bug fixes or game changes that address actual TF2 problems
• Anything regarding matchmaking

The last time we did something like this, it ended up pissing off a bunch of people who got angry that Valve hadn't fixed or implemented various things in the update, so it's best to avoid that territory altogether. Try to make something that is very obviously a joke update, it's better to go over the top than to be subtle. It's okay to make fun of other Valve games, as long as it's done in jest rather than out of malice. -- LordKelvin 20:30, 3 January 2016 (PST)

Dr. Scaphandre's ideas:

• Golden Ghastly Gibus. Has a 0.001% chance of dropping from contracts. New Achievement: Golden Ghastly Gibus Grab. Dominate a player wearing a Golden Ghastly Gibus to receive your own. Wearer turns into a golden statue upon death.

Golden Ghastly Gibus
Limited Level 4,012,016 Hat
Imbued with an ancient power
It was said that King Midas was the first person ever to wear a gibus. It was also said that the world was flat. Good times.

( Achievement Item: Not Tradable )

I've constructed an early prototype page for the item. Feel free to edit as you please.

• Kitten Krate: A special crate only earned in the Kitten Kampaign that can only be opened with Kitten Keys ($2.50). Opening one for the first time unlocks the Kitten Kounter, an item similar to the campaign coins. For each Kitten Krate you open, you get a point for the Kitten Kounter. What's in the crate? Pictures of kittens.
• Team Fortress 2 on the Ouya. A wizard on photoshop makes some game screenshots look really bad like it's on the Ouya.
• New Weapons Soldier: A creation of Youtuber Genowhirl70. He's a Soldier who only wants new weapons added into the game, and rages when he gets reskins, skins, or some Holiday event.

CaptainCookieCrunch!'s ideas:

• Added a Glutten-free, low fat sandvich
  •  Agree Add a zero calorie Bonk! Atomic Punch to the mix. Call it the modern diet set or something. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:20, 3 January 2016 (PST)

 Agree Vegetarian Fishcake made with soy. Darkid (Talk | Contribs) 20:06, 3 January 2016 (PST)

• Achievement item: Received for running 20km with gloves of running urgently (and reskins) or the eviction notice
  •  Disagree Feels too legit. It's gotta be so silly that people know just from looking at it that it's a joke. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:20, 3 January 2016 (PST)

New game-mode, find the spy:

• Everybody is BLU, there is one red spy in the base that has to be found (can disguise)
• Friendly damage and bumping into each other are on
  • let the carnage begin
• Spy kills are silent
• Nobody wears hats, or everybody wears same hat
• Everybody has melee/pistols/shotguns only

LordKelvin's ideas:

• New weapon for the Spy: R8 Revolver
  •  Neutral Eh..I don't know. People are still pretty salty of that. But if KarmaCharger does a weapon demonstration where it uses the CSGO model instead of the TF2 ones I see it possible. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:17, 3 January 2016 (PST)
• UnderFortress Campaign, a contract campaign that's UnderTale themed, complete with crates and skins
  •  Neutral We might get in trouble with Toby Fox. Plus Undertale fans are pure cancer. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:17, 3 January 2016 (PST)
• Vagineer page?
  •  Agree Yeah, this is definitely a must in my eye. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:17, 3 January 2016 (PST)

Honestly I'd prefer valve content (r8) to custom content (vagineer) or other-owned content (undertale). Darkid (Talk | Contribs) 20:06, 3 January 2016 (PST)

TidB's ideas:

• (Shamelessly stealing Gabrielwoj's idea) Something along the lines of The Most Wanted Update, The Overhaul Update, The Quick-Fix Update; fixing glitches, bugs and adding long-wanted items and other features. This could go in the satirical direction of more skins and such.
  •  Disagree I feel we might end up having a repeat of the 2013 April Fools incident if we do something that's fan desired. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:16, 3 January 2016 (PST)
• As an Engineer, destroying your own buildings releases a shockwave that damages enemy players. Along with that: The Strange Destruction PDA that counts destroyed buildings and killed players. What about festive PDAs?
  •  Disagree Festive PDAs are kinda desired. Plus, its been done before. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:16, 3 January 2016 (PST)
• Friendly Fire is enabled by default.
  •  Agree This could work. I'm laughing already.

A gamemode (beta, like mannpower, pass time) with some extra features -- FFA Slayer or something similar? Darkid (Talk | Contribs) 20:06, 3 January 2016 (PST)

• Items that are extremely expensive to obtain all have the "Dead Presidents" unusual effect.
  •  Neutral I don't know. It doesn't seem funny to me. But that's just me. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:16, 3 January 2016 (PST)

 Negative Why Dead Presidents? There's even less popular unusual effects -- or better yet, come up with a new effect. I'd suggest an "invisible" unusual effect, or some pun/play on words for that. Darkid (Talk | Contribs) 20:06, 3 January 2016 (PST)

I chose Dead Presidents not because of its unpopularity, but because of its effects which is raining dollar bills. Anyway, having a worthless unusual effect is a good idea as well. { TidB | t | c | wt } 09:34, 4 January 2016 (PST)

• "Updated the localization files" of course; maybe with variations.
  •  Agree -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:16, 3 January 2016 (PST)

A must, of course. Darkid (Talk | Contribs) 20:06, 3 January 2016 (PST)

• Certain rebalancements to weapons (Phlog and such).
  •  Disagree I don't really want to dive into rebalance jokes as that's what Ashes did in 2013. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:16, 3 January 2016 (PST)
• The 4th cosmetic slot.
  •  Agree Maybe, but it feels too close to the 10th Class. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:16, 3 January 2016 (PST)

4th weapon slot. Alternately, unlimited cosmetic slots and removing all equip regions. Take some funny HLMV pictures as samples. Darkid (Talk | Contribs) 20:06, 3 January 2016 (PST)

I like your ideas. { TidB | t | c | wt } 09:34, 4 January 2016 (PST)

• A buyable tool to boost strange weapon stats by 1,000. Would work for strange parts as well. Alternatively, just get a levelup on the strange weapon ranks.
• A new gamemode (Deathmatch/FFA) is the recommended mode for new players.
• (heh) The "Payload Race" gamemode is renamed to "Team Deathmatch" (you know, because nobody cares about the objective).
• Added to the advanced options: Post "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" in the chat everytime you kill an enemy.

ClockworkSpirit2343's ideas:

• Perhaps keeping with a possible Vagineer page, maybe make the VS Saxton Hale Mode "Official", adding along other bosses.

 Agree I think a few new gamemodes would be good. I feel like we should add a really bad article about Slender Fortress as well, but that's too much of a wiki insider. { TidB | t | c | wt } 09:34, 4 January 2016 (PST)

• Make buffs to weapons already seen as "OP" by the community.
• New Engineer buildings maybe?

 Disagree I'm afraid I'm gonna have to say no to the ideas Clockwork. Ashes tried the OP weapon buff ideas back in 2013, and it pissed a lot of people off. That idea was the sole reason April Fools 2014-15 was cancelled. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:07, 3 January 2016 (PST)

Emrfish6's non-ideas:

• Offering services to make silly models or unusual effects.
  • Note I wont be able to give models a good texture so may need an extra for that.
    • Do you know how to mod items? I need someone who can take the Golden Ghastly Gibus mod and make it so when you die wearing the Gibus, you turn into a gold statue. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:09, 3 January 2016 (PST)
      • Yes I do. If you have the texture I can make it happen. Emrfish6 (talk) 16:22, 4 January 2016 (PST)

• Actual ideas:
  • TF2 weapons can now have stickers added to them.

Gabrielwoj's ideas:

• Make an update related to in-game fixing, documenting some bugs that has been on TF2 since launch. Also document about changes on View-Models and Class Textures. Also, add a new game mode, "Deathmatch" (from TF2 Classic). And, please put this on the patch note:
  

Fixed, for the fourth time, the "Marked for Death" particle appearing in some cases.. ▪ - 20:26, 3 January 2016 (PST)

• On the topic of TF2C, with how popular the mod has become, we could do a joke page on the Mercenary class since according to the devs of TF2C, he acts like Deadpool. -- Dr. Scaphandre 20:28, 3 January 2016 (PST)

What we can do

Speaking techincally:

• I can write sourcemod scripts. I don't know why you'd need these, but understand that modding is available (golden items for weapon demos, e.g.?)
• Ermfish can do models, see above.
• Texturing (changing the lunchbox items' labels, e.g.) is fairly easy.
• Painted previews, 3d model previews, and weapon demonstrations are all on the table.
• I've never tried before, but creating a fake update page *should* be relatively easy -- just copy the html, css, and js from a real update page and host it on the wiki. Bonus points if you can remove some of the JS (jquery, e.g.).

Darkid (Talk | Contribs) 20:06, 3 January 2016 (PST)

• That gives me a great idea for the fake update page name! Call the update: "The Fool's Gold Update." -- Dr. Scaphandre 20:11, 3 January 2016 (PST)
  • I like that name. It's a little bit obvious (it makes me feel like we're displaying a giant red banner over every april fools page that says "This is humor!") but that's what we're going for this time anyway. { TidB | t | c | wt } 09:34, 4 January 2016 (PST)

Tark's ideas:

Unusual effects (like flying control points or something more funny)
Mini Mini Sentry
Rename 'Unique' quality to 'Not Unusual'
PotaOS, a cosmetic item for the Spy. (GLaDOS)
— The preceding assigned comment was added by Tark {Finish Him! ▪ Contribs} 04:52, 4 January 2016 (PST)

What about GLaDOS being a new wrench for the Engineer that interacts with Ap-Saps? Also, GLaDOS would constantly mock the player. { TidB | t | c | wt } 09:34, 4 January 2016 (PST)

Alexelgeco's ideas:

• New racing gamemode with bumpercars
• You can aim down sights (on Sniper SMGs, for example)
• Added the ability to wallbang through thin walls
• You can now break or shoot through some windows/glass panels

Rikka Takanashi's Idea

• New weapon - C96 for buying Day of Defeats: World War Offensive
• New cosmetic - Neptune hair style wig for all class
• New case - NepNep Case, all items in this case will signed by Lord Nepnep
• New class - Nepnep

All hail to Nepnep Rikka Takanashi (talk) • (contributions) 07:51, 6 January 2016 (PST)

Starting to wrap things up, now

We're coming up on the final month, so now seems like a good time to start picking some ideas and making them. In the spirit of not repeating the debacle that was 2013, I think we should go back to what was previously popular:

1. Things which are obviously fake, e.g. A cow weapon
2. Things which parody valve IP, e.g. Ricochet 2
3. NOT things which are requested, e.g. Moving the PDA slot or fixing animation bugs

In that vein, I'd suggest (what with TF2 mirroring CS:GO crates), creating a CS:GO-themed update. This could include things like:

• Wallbangs
• Grenades, i.e. Flashbangs, Smoke Grenades, etc.
• 'Silenced' variants of weapons that are stereotypically loud, e.g. Rocket Launcher, Minigun
• Breakable windows

etc.

If this idea doesn't appeal to you, we can do another "no particular theme" update (like in 2011), with some of the other ideas suggested on the page:

• Friendly fire gamemode (As a beta gamemode, since that's how valve does things now)
• Golden Gibus
• Vegetarian/Vegan lunchbox items

I'd like to see some votes on these ideas, or make some more suggestions -- but I really think we should pick a theme (or no theme) for the update. Darkid (Talk | Contribs) 12:15, 19 February 2016 (PST)

Agree, but at least we should do the joke about DoD. Rikka Takanashi (talk) • (contributions) 15:15, 19 February 2016 (PST)

I want at least one map page for this if possible. But I do have another idea based off of Darkid's beta gamemode suggestion: Beta hats. You get early access to cosmetics in development. -- Dr. Scaphandre 19:41, 19 February 2016 (PST)

What about bring back something from TFC? — The preceding assigned comment was added by Tark {Finish Him! ▪ Contribs} 11:43, 20 February 2016 (PST)

Bad idea Tarko. TFC stuff are desired. Why do you think there's fan projects like Fortress Forever and TF2C? -- Dr. Scaphandre 14:10, 20 February 2016 (PST)

The discussion is lovely, but I was really looking for a vote:

Themed updated

 We don't really have a clear-cut idea, and people seem to want to do their own things. Darkid (Talk | Contribs) 08:26, 28 February 2016 (PST)

Let's just take the best ideas, send them to LordKelvin, then get them done. -- Dr. Scaphandre 12:47, 29 February 2016 (PST)

February is almost over

Due to time issues since it's almost the end of February and we don't have that many ideas, we may have to scrap the idea of a full April Fools themed major update and just do a thorwback to 2011's April Fools, which may be for the best since we haven't done this in a while so we should start small to get back into the thick of things.

Okay, thanks to Tark most of the Wiki update page was done. I recommend we use the update page for any ideas that we finalized. Some ideas will be in page form, while the others will just be fake update log changes.

Let's go over any ideas we confirmed:

• Golden Ghastly Gibus
• Friendly fire "fixed" to be off on default.
• Diet versions of lunchbox items (This could end up just being a blip on the Update page saying "Changed all lunchbox items to more low calorie diet substitutes.")

Possible ideas for pages or update page blips:

• Vagineer page
• CSGO R8 Revolver

Anything else someone wants to bring to the table, now would be a good time. Even if it's a small silly idea for the fake update page. -- Dr. Scaphandre 06:30, 23 February 2016 (PST)