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Legend
Important event

Date	Event	Source
c. 4000BCE	Merasmus claims to have been born around this time.	Link
17th Century
1680	Members of the DeGroot family begin production of Degroot's Rum that the Demoman would become a fan of centuries later.	Link
18th Century
1788, December 18th	Old Nick turns his boat around to conquer the South Pole while on a voyage to Australia.	Link
1792	Italian physicist Alessandro Volta invented the battery by mixing zinc, ammonium chloride and molten salt together.	Link
19th Century
1808	The company that produces the scrumpy that the Demoman would become a fan of over a century later begins production of their product.	Link
1814, June	An editorial cartoon is published in the Gentle Manne's Monthly entitled "An Editorial Cartoon of Some Insighte".	Link
circa 1822	A woman, by some accounts, the Administrator, begins acquiring the world's largest supply of Australium.	Link, Link
1822, September 2nd	Redmond, Blutarch and Gray Mann are born. Of the three, Gray was "absconded with by that scourge of London, the Eagle".	Link
1847	Claude Huggins founded the town of Hugginsville on the site of his wife's bear mauling death, renaming it this year to Two Farts, then later to Teufort.	Link
1849	Gray Mann resurfaces this year and threatens to blackmail Zepheniah Mann for all his "miracle gravel" (Australium).	Link
1850	The last will and testament of Zepheniah Mann is written and enacted. Mann bequeaths his cache of "miracle gravel" to his maidservant, Elizabeth.	Link
1850	Australia becomes the world's most advanced country.	Link, Link
1857	Abraham Lincoln invents stairs, replacing rocket jumping.	Link
1861, August 21th	Redmond and Blutarch Mann sell their gravel mine to Barnabas Hale for 5 cents. Hale then turns it into a coal mine promising jobs for the surrounding region.	Link
1862, August 5th	Scientists in Australia "nervously assure the world" that there is "No gold after all..." Gold prospectors turn gaze to Canada.	Link, Link
1865	Abraham Lincoln holds his Second Inaugural Address, stating "I say this to you with unvarnished factualism of plain talk: I love Arena Mode."	Link
1865, April 20th	The War Department publishes a wanted poster for John "Tower of Hats" Booth for the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.	Link
1869	Shiny's Bullion is established.	Link
1880	The woman who in 10 years will convince Radigan Conagher to build an additional Life Extender Machine begins her search for Australium.	Link
1890	Blutarch Mann commissions Radigan Conagher to build a Life Extender Machine.	Link
1890	A woman of similar appearance to Elizabeth 40 years earlier requests Conagher to build a Life Extender Machine for Redmond Mann as well.	Link
1890	Biggs starts producing steel rods.	Link
1894, July 17th	Radigan Conagher finishes building a Life Extender Machine for Blutarch Mann.	Link
1894, August 3rd	Radigan Conagher finishes another Life Extender Machine for Redmond Mann as well.	Link
Unknown year, April 14th	Radigan Conagher finishes a third Life Extender Machine (for an undisclosed party).	Link
1895, January 25th	"Hills Discovered!" The Here's Some News, Mate! newspaper runs a story about Australia stating "Mysterious new geographic lumps confound men of Australian science".	Link
1895, March 6th	"War, Mate!" Two months later, the king of Australia declares war on hills stating "There will be time to study these so-called hills after they are dead".	Link
1895, April 5th	"King Conquers Hill!" It is reported by the Here's Some News, Mate! newspaper that the "Coward Mound Surrendered Without a Fight".	Link
20th Century
1900, January 23rd	"Mann Co. invents 'ro-bot'." It is revealed by an Australian newspaper that Mann Co., an Australian weapons giant, has invented the "robot". In the article, Mann Co. officials attempt to assure public concerns over their 'ro-bot' by stating that "These automatons will only be used for violence".	Link
1900	Australia tries to colonize space by this time. They seem to have failed.	Link
1901	Newell and Sons debuts a "turnless" board game - Teams and Fortresses 2 - with explosive "real-time" gameplay.	Link
1907, June 15th	Mann Co. wins safest workplace in Badlands.	Link
1910, January 24th	Mann Co. wins their bid to be the sole munitions supplier to Reliable Excavation and Demolition and Builder's League United mercenaries.	Link
1915, August 13th	A mineshaft collapses on ​​Bilious Hale and his employees, but Bilious Hale punches his way out saving himself and his surviving employees. 14 die from cave-in and punch-related injuries.	Link
1921	Franklin D. Roosevelt loses both of his legs while rocket jumping. As a result, he perfects the modern staircase.	Link
1921	Bilious Hale, eager to re-ignite the nation's waning interest in coal, introduces the steam-powered hat at the Paris World Fashion Expo.	Link
1922, March 13th	Bilious Hale permanently halts production of all coal-powered weapons.	Link
1922, March 13th	Mann Co. shuts down their dual coal mine and munitions factory after 50 years of operation, but preserves it as a museum of Mann Co. history.	Link
1923	Red Shed ​whiskey distilled in Tougaloo.	Link
1930	Team Fortress Classic takes place - Redmond and Blutarch Mann hire the Classic Mercs to battle in the Gravel Wars. Bilious Hale supplies them with weapons and ammunition.	Link
1932	American soft drink magnate Theophilus Bonk added sugar to the same mixture as the first set of batteries, creating Bonk! Cola.	Link
1932	New Zealand is encapsulated in a dome and sunk to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.	Link
1937	Redstone Cargo is established.	Link
1939, September 1st	World War II begins. Though he wanted desperately to fight in World War II, the Soldier was rejected from every branch of the U.S. military. Undaunted, he bought his own ticket to Europe. After arriving and finally locating Poland, the Soldier taught himself how to load and fire a variety of weapons before embarking on a Nazi killing spree for which he was awarded several medals that he designed and made himself.	Link
1941, September	The Heavy's father, a counter-revolutionary, is killed. The Heavy and his family are deported to a North Siberian gulag.	Link
1941, December	The North Siberian gulag burns to the ground with all its guards tortured to death and all prisoners escape, including the Heavy and his family.	Link
1942	New Zealander infant Mun-Dee accidentally breaks a hole in his country's underwater dome while flying away in a rocketship, leaving his parents the only survivors. The rocket crashes in Australia, where the baby is raised by a local couple, growing up to become the Sniper.	Link
1945, September 2nd	World War II ends.
1945	Jeremy, the Scout, is born in or around this year.	Link
1949	The Soldier ends his Nazi killing spree in Poland upon hearing that World War II had already ended in 1945.	Link
1957	While Saxton Hale and Margret are beating panthers to death, Charles Darling absconds with the panthers to put them in his new animal dungeon.	Link
1959	Primaprime produces series of instructional films.	Link
Early 1960s	Saxton Hale's Barbershop Action debuts in the U.S. It is followed by ancillary titles Saxton Hale's Barbershop Romance and Haircut Horrors Starring Saxton Hale's Ghost.	Link
1961	Saxton Hale's Thrilling Tales first arrives on newsstands.	Link
1962	Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl debuts in the U.S.	Link
1962	Margret's husband Roger's funeral is held. A giant snapping turtle attacks and Saxton Hale promptly strangles it with his suit jacket.	Link
1962	Mayor Mike starts making Trevor act like an Italian Stereotype.	Link
1962	The alcoholic Demoman's body begins to scrounge most of its nutrients from grain alcohol and aspirin.	Link
1963	Only four items are being produced for the elderly: hats, meat, caskets, and Saxton Hale's Mildly Thrilling Tales. Saxton Hale Visits His Mother Monthly and Soothing Stories of Familiar Things soon follow.	Link
1964, March	The first, and possibly only, issue of Saxton Hale's Mail Storm is published.	Link
1965	The Engineer creates several mechanical contraptions, including the Sentry Gun, while under contract with TF Industries.	Link
1968	Camp Saxton established; does not stay open very long.	Link
1968	Boy's Adventure Starring Saxton Hale comes under fire from the Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency. Pressured by the Senate, Mann Co. changes the title to Girl's Adventure Starring Saxton Hale.	Link
Gravel War
1968, June	The Gravel War - the main setting for Team Fortress 2.	Link
1969, August	Saxton Hale firebombs Woodstock from a helicopter due to a longtime feud with hippies.	Link
1971	In ​the Teufort ​Library, microfiche genealogy records are destroyed "for no reason", leaving only paper originals.	Link
1971	Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl ends publication.	Link
1971	The RED team steals an intelligence briefcase from BLU, the Engineer does experiments with teleporting bread, and the RED team must fight against a large bread monster with the help of Miss Pauling.	Link
1971, 1 day	Gray Mann assassinates Redmond and Blutarch Mann to gain control of their respective corporations. This marks the end of The Gravel War.	Link
1971, that evening/night	The ghosts of Redmond and Blutarch Mann enlist the final services of their mercenaries, each team to carry the other brother's body to Hell.	Link
Robot War
1971, next day	Saxton Hale fights and captures the last surviving Yeti. Catching wind of Gray Mann's plans to use an army of robots to gain control of Mann Co., Saxton re-hires both RED and BLU unemployed mercenary teams to protect his company and kill robots without pay.	Link Link
1971	The Medic returns to his home country, studying and perfecting reanimation and male pregnancy.	Link, Link
1971	Voodoo-Cursed Items are reported stolen from the Gravelpit Community College.	Link
1971	The Medic surgically added the eight souls of his teammates to himself.	Link
1971, October 29th	Merasmus the Magician attends WizardCon MCLVI as a guest speaker, giving a two-hour talk titled "Living with a Non-Wizard".	Link
1971, October 30th	Merasmus returns from WizardCon to find that his castle has been made into the John Doe Raccoon Sanctuary, for which his ex-roommate, the RED Soldier, was appointed park ranger. Being evicted from his own home as a result, and Soldier gaining residence in the castle, Merasmus snaps and transforms into a powerful ghost version of himself, vowing to kill everyone the Soldier cares about.	Link
1971, December	In the midst of the Robot War, Miss Pauling and the mercenaries struggle to defend Mann Co.'s sprawling domain. The Soldier reveals that he is able to infiltrate Gray Gravel Co. and learn their battle plans by wearing a cardboard robot costume. Wearing more of the same, Miss Pauling, Soldier, and Heavy infiltrate the base together a week later, witnessing the unveiling of the Mecha-Engineer.	Link
1971	Saxton Hale kills the steroid-enhanced Yeti with his bare hands at Yeti Park.	Link
Australium Chase
1972, Takeover (first half of year)	Gray Mann surrenders to Saxton Hale, ceasing all fighting. Olivia Mann, at that moment CEO of Gray Gravel Co., invokes the Mann Co. Challenge, winning the challenge for lack of any Mann Co. CEO willing to fight her for the company. Olivia immediately transfers the Mann Co. acquisition to her father Gray Mann, who then fires the mercs.	Link
1972, immediately after	Administrator, hearing the news of Gray Mann's takeover of Mann Co., goes into hiding, ordering her assistant Miss Pauling to do the same.	Link
1972, the following two weeks	Soldier is evicted from the Raccoon Sanctuary. Having broken both arms helping Soldier move, Scout gets the Spy to help him recover his savings from the Teufort Bank's vault, where the two are arrested for the destruction of Teufort.	Link
1972, September 7th	Date of mug shot of Spy and Scout (arms healed).	Link
1972, six months after Takeover, before the Trial at Teufort	Miss Pauling, under orders from Administrator, begins to reassemble the Mercs, recovering Soldier from Hollywood, Pyro from Frontier, and Demoman from his Badlands home. Gray and Olivia finally manage to find Hale's secret Australium stockpile, only to discover that it had already been taken.	Link
1972, before the Trial at Teufort	Soldier murders Tom Jones in his own home. Merasmus, who was Tom Jones' roommate, gets charged for the murder. Merasmus is sentenced to jail.	Link
1972, around the time of the trial	Saxton Hale is released from the Millhaven Ultra Prison for Dangerous Men, held there for burning down most of Charles Darling's zoo months earlier. Margret, an old friend, takes Saxton to meet with Darling. Darling ​recruits Hale to recover the Australium (to prolong the lives of his "almost extinct" animals), presumed stolen by the Administrator.	Link
1972, Trial at Teufort (second half of year)	Soldier and Demoman attempt to free Scout and Spy from their trial, but are exposed, and all four are sentenced to hang. Miss Pauling saves the mercenaries with a simple civics lesson given to the lead-poisoned populace. Miss Pauling destroys original paper 1850 birth records at the Teufort Library, one remaining fragment bears the name Helen.	Link, Link
1972, Early December a week after the trial	Scout, Soldier, and Pyro find Heavy with his family in the Dzhugdzhur Mountains of Siberia. Learning his sisters had killed the men that had been sent to kill them, Heavy returns to America with his mother and sisters; Zhanna joins the team, becoming Soldier's fiance. Gray and Olivia discover Pauling has burned the 1850 birth records a week ahead of them.	Link
1972, December	The Team Fortress Classic team is sent by Gray Mann to hunt the rebuilding Team Fortress 2 team.	Link
1972, weeks later Australia	While securing a small submarine, Spy, Soldier, and Zhanna discover that the ​Australians have lost their famous vitality. Heavy and Scout encounter Saxton and Maggie at Ayers Rock and discover that the secret Australium mine has suddenly played out. Demoman and Miss Pauling learn that Sniper's adoptive parents died at about the time of Gray's ​acquisition of Mann Co., incidentally leading him to learn of his birth parents.	Link
1972, later New Zealand	Miss Pauling's squad finds Sniper's birth parents in the flooded remains of undersea New Zealand. Sniper's mother escapes to space with the last of the Australium that Miss Pauling could ​possibly find, flooding the remainder of New Zealand. The Classic mercenaries arrive at New Zealand with the TF2 Medic, killing Sniper, and capturing the others.	Link
1972, elsewhere	TF2 Engineer has been maintaining the Life Extender Machines of an elderly woman in 19th century attire, resembling Helen, but extremely aged, who, like Gray Mann, is running out of Australium.	Link
1972, "at least six hours" later	The Classic team interrogates their captives at Gray Mann's island base. Medic performs perfected reanimation on Sniper. Classic Heavy rips out Gray's Life Extender Machine for himself and his aging team. The TF2 team escapes, killing three Classic mercenaries, but are overcome by blood-sucking robots.	Link
1972, an hour later	Pauling's team is saved by Demoman's resistance to the blood-sucking robots and by resuscitation by Medic. They are joined by parachuting Heavy and Scout, only to be ​surrounded, unarmed, by the final wave of the remaining robot army. Resupplied and ​reinforced by Saxton, Mags, and Jerry, the team destroys all robots and kill all the remaining TFC mercenaries except for their Engineer. TF2 Engineer's client uses up the remainder of her Australium in one go, expecting then to survive only an hour more, at most.	Link
1978	School in Teufort starts after being cancelled for 6 years.	Link
1987, December 4th	According to God himself, Scout dies.	Link
21st Century
2022	The lease for Teufort's Federal Pedophile Sanctuary expires.	Link
2024, December 20th (present day, as of the comic's release)	An elderly Saxton and Maggie find themselves at the edge of a cliff, surrounded by a pack of angry cheetahs after fist-fighting a prior cheetah pack. After a brief exchange, they eagerly ready themselves to fight the rest of the cheetahs. These are the final moments of the entire Team Fortress storyline.	Link
71st Century
7039	Saxton Hale's ownership rights of the Sniper's likeness expire.	Link