Juoni

“

Se, kuka minä olen ei koske sinua. — Elizabeth pulling strings

”

Vaikka Team Fortress 2:ssa ei olekaan tarinatilaa eikä yksinpeliä, pelin juoni paljastetaan sarjakuvien, Tutustu Tiimiin -videoiden ja suurempien päivitysten välityksellä. Esimerkiksi Halloween-päivityksen 2009 (ja 2010 ja 2011), joulukuun 2009 SOTA! päivityksen ja Engineer-päivityksen mukana on tullut jossain muodossa virallista Team Fortress 2 -jatkumoa. Piilotetut linkit näillä sivuilla sekä Team Fortress 2 -sarjakuvien tutkiminen ovat paljastaneet riittävästi yksityiskohtia niin kutsutun "yksityiskohtaisen aikajanan" luomiseksi.

1822

Mannin perhe

Mannin perheen historia alkaa varhaiselta 1800-luvulta varakkaasta Zepheniah Mann -nimisestä englantilaismiehestä. Hän oli Mann & Sons Munitions Concernsin (tunnetaan myös nimellä Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co., mutta kaikkein parhaiten Mann Co.) omistaja. Hänen vaimonsa Bette synnytti kolme poikaa 2. syyskuuta 1822; Redmond, Blutarch ja Gray, mutta kuoli kuitenkin synnytyksessä. Vaikka Redmond ja Blutarch olivatkin täysin normaaleja, Gray oli alapainoinen ja oli oppinut puhumaan kohdussa. Zepheniah halusi pojan tukahdutettavaksi, mutta kotka nappasi pojan "suuren kotkavitsauksen 1822" aikana. Muut kaksi poikaa kasvoivat tietämättä kadonnesta veljestään mitään.

Kotka kasvatti Grayn hyvin. Se syötti hänelle matoja ja hiiriä, piti tätä lämpimässä ja tämän poikaset hyväksyivät pojan. Gray kasvoi vahvaksi kotkan kasvatuksessa ja oltuaan riittävän vahva, hän tappoi kotkan ja tämän poikaset ja söi ne kaikki, jonka jälkeen hän meni takaisin ihmisten ilmoille.

1850

Zepheniahin tahto

Vasemmalta oikealle: Barnabas Hale, Blutarch Mann, Zepheniah Mann, Elizabeth ja Redmond Mann. Oikealla näkyy seisomassa myös mystinen mies (mahdollisesti Gray Mann).

Noin vuonna 1850 Zepheniah matkusti Yhdysvaltoihin poikiensa Redmondin ja Blutarchin kanssa kasvattaakseen sotatarvikebisnestä. Yhdysvaltoihin saapuessaan he huomasivat, että heidän ostamansa sora-alueet ja tomumyrskyalueet olivat hyödyttömiä; tämän lisäksi Zepheniah oli vanhalla iällään alkanut saada lukuisia sairauksia. Zepheniah testamenttasi puolet maistaan toiselle pojalleen ja toisen puolen toiselle pojalle - ja he alkoivat taistella elämistään. Hän myös testamenttasi Elizabethille "ihmesoraa" jota oli löytänyt "Terra Australiksella". Hänen mukaansa Gray oli tullut takaisin ja testamenttasi sen vuoksi lopun omaisuutensa Elizebethille (jotta Gray ei saisi tietää tästä).

1850-luvun BLU-tiimi

RED vs. BLU -otteluiden alku

Billy the Kidistä, Stonewall Jacksonista, Abraham Lincolnista, Alfred Nobelista, John Henrystä, Nikola Teslasta, Sigmund Freudista, Davy Crockettista ja Fu Manchusta koostuva BLUn tiimi oli Blutarchin suunnittelema. Redmondilla oli kuitenkin samanlaisia suunnitelmia veljensä maiden valtaamiseksi. RED- ja BLU-tiimit taistelivat viimeiseen hengenvetoon voittaakseen ja vallatakseen toisen veljen maat.

1890

A Loose Canon

Australialaiset 1890-luvulla.

Radigan Conagher hyväksyy Blutarchin pyynnöt.

40 vuotta myöhemmin, Redmond ja Blutarch olivat yhä lukittuneet taisteluun toistensa maista.

Blutarch oli kuolla vanhuuteen, ja pyysi hätiin ekspertin nimeltä Radigan Conagher, rakentamaan tälle koneen joka voisi pitää hänet elossa, "tekemään [hänestä] hirviön". Radigan suostui.

Kun Radigan saapui kauppaansa illalla, siellä oli outo ventovieras, joka oli jo päässyt lukitun oven läpi. Vieras pyysi Radigania rakentamaan myös Redmondille samanlaisen koneen kuin Blutarchille, sillä tiesi, ettei saisi käännytettyä Radigania enää Redmondin puolelle. Vieras maksoi Radiganille sata puntaa australiumia - mahtavaa elementtiä, jota löytyisi vain Australiasta, ja joka oli tehnyt joukosta [epä-älykkäitä] otuksia todella älykkäitä.

Radigan suostui ja hänestä tuli australiumin avulla hyvin älykäs. Hän alkoi tehdä elämää jatkavia koneita niin Blutarchille, Redmondille kuin Elizabethillekin.

1968

Sorasota

Team Fortress 2:n tapahtumat

Vuoden 1968 kesällä, yhdeksän tyyppiä - Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engineer, Medic, Sniper ja Spy - värvättiin Reliable Excavation & Demolitionin (RED) ja Builders League Unitedin (BLU) toimesta Redmondin ja Blutarchin loputonta sotaa jatkamaan.

Ylläpitäjä

Helen, Elizabethin jälkeläinen, toimii laajan taistelun valvojana. Barnabas Halen jälkeläinen, Saxton Hale, puolestaan toimii Mann Co.:n, TF Industriesin tytäryhtiön, pyörittäjänä.

Myöhemmät vaiheet

RED Demoman ja BLU Soldier tapaavat ja ystävystyvät räjähdekokouksessa. Tämä suututtaa Ylläpitäjän, sillä nämä saattaisivat jutella töistään ja saada selville työskentelevänsä samalle henkilölle. Saxton Halen avustuksella hän sai molemmat luuleaan, että toinen yrittää tappaa toisen, jolloin alkoi verinen sota.

Samoihin aikoihin, yrityksenä päästä eroon aseista, Mann Co. lähettää avaruteen "apinautin" nimeltä Poopy Joe. Raketti kuitenkin tuhoutuu tappaen Poopy Joen. Saxton yrittää huonolla menestyksellä peittää asian.

Pelin tarinan viimeisessä vaiheessa Blutarch Mann saa tietää, että hänen eläämäänsä eteenpäin jatkava kone on hajoamaisillaan ja käskee BLU Engineeriä (Radigan Conagherin toista lapsenlasta) korjaamaan sen. Lopulta Saxton Hale löytää internetin, jonne hän perustaa Mann Co.:n verkkokaupan.

Mysteerit

Pyron identiteetti

Pyron todellinen identiteetti on ollut keskustelun aiheena aina pelin julkaisusta lähtien. Tapaa Pyro -videossa nähdään, miten Pyro näkee maailman. Pyron taustasta ja sukupuolesta ei kuitenkaan ole minkäänlaista tietoa.

Ylläpitäjän tavoitteet

Sarjakuvissa paljastetaan, että Ylläpitäjä Helen on varastoinut Australiumia 150 vuotta.

Tarkka aikajana

​

Legend
Important event

Date	Event	Source
c. 4000BCE	Merasmus claims to have been born around this time.	Linkki
17th Century
1680	Members of the DeGroot family begin production of Degroot's Rum that the Demoman would become a fan of centuries later.	Linkki
18th Century
1788, December 18th	Old Nick turns his boat around to conquer the South Pole while on a voyage to Australia.	Linkki
1792	Italian physicist Alessandro Volta invented the battery by mixing zinc, ammonium chloride and molten salt together.	Linkki
19th Century
1808	The company that produces the scrumpy that the Demoman would become a fan of over a century later begins production of their product.	Linkki
1814, kesäkuuta	An editorial cartoon is published in the Gentle Manne's Monthly entitled "An Editorial Cartoon of Some Insighte".	Linkki
circa 1822	The Administrator, begins acquiring the world's largest supply of Australium.	Linkki, Linkki
1822, September 2nd	Redmond, Blutarch and Gray Mann are born. Of the three, Gray was "absconded with by that scourge of London, the Eagle".	Linkki
1847	Claude Huggins founded the town of Hugginsville on the site of his wife's bear mauling death, renaming it this year to Two Farts, then later to Teufort.	Linkki
1849	Gray Mann resurfaces this year and threatens to blackmail Zepheniah Mann for all his "miracle gravel" (Australium).	Linkki
1850	The last will and testament of Zepheniah Mann is written and enacted. Mann bequeaths his cache of "miracle gravel" to his maidservant, Elizabeth.	Linkki
1850	Australia becomes the world's most advanced country.	Linkki, Linkki
1857	Abraham Lincoln invents stairs, replacing rocket jumping.	Linkki
1861, August 21th	Redmond and Blutarch Mann sell their gravel mine to Barnabas Hale for 5 cents. Hale then turns it into a coal mine promising jobs for the surrounding region.	Linkki
1862, August 5th	Scientists in Australia "nervously assure the world" that there is "No gold after all..." Gold prospectors turn gaze to Canada.	Linkki, Linkki
1865	Abraham Lincoln holds his Second Inaugural Address, stating "I say this to you with unvarnished factualism of plain talk: I love Arena Mode."	Linkki
1865, April 20th	The War Department publishes a wanted poster for John "Tower of Hats" Booth for the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.	Linkki
1869	Shiny's Bullion is established.	Linkki
1880	The woman who in 10 years will convince Radigan Conagher to build an additional Life Extender Machine begins her search for Australium.	Linkki
1890	Blutarch Mann commissions Radigan Conagher to build a Life Extender Machine.	Linkki
1890	A woman of similar appearance to Elizabeth 40 years earlier requests Conagher to build a Life Extender Machine for Redmond Mann as well.	Linkki
1890	Biggs starts producing steel rods.	Linkki
1894, July 17th	Radigan Conagher finishes building a Life Extender Machine for Blutarch Mann.	Linkki
1894, August 3rd	Radigan Conagher finishes another Life Extender Machine for Redmond Mann as well.	Linkki
Unknown year, April 14th	Radigan Conagher finishes a third Life Extender Machine for Gray Mann.	Linkki
1895, January 25th	"Hills Discovered!" The Here's Some News, Mate! newspaper runs a story about Australia stating "Mysterious new geographic lumps confound men of Australian science".	Linkki
1895, March 6th	"War, Mate!" Two months later, the king of Australia declares war on hills stating "There will be time to study these so-called hills after they are dead".	Linkki
1895, April 5th	"King Conquers Hill!" It is reported by the Here's Some News, Mate! newspaper that the "Coward Mound Surrendered Without a Fight".	Linkki
20th Century
1900, January 23rd	"Mann Co. invents 'ro-bot'." It is revealed by an Australian newspaper that Mann Co., an Australian weapons giant, has invented the "robot". In the article, Mann Co. officials attempt to assure public concerns over their 'ro-bot' by stating that "These automatons will only be used for violence".	Linkki
1900	Australia tries to colonize space by this time. They seem to have failed.	Linkki
1901	Newell and Sons debuts a "turnless" board game - Teams and Fortresses 2 - with explosive "real-time" gameplay.	Linkki
1907, June 15th	Mann Co. wins safest workplace in Badlands.	Linkki
1910, January 24th	Mann Co. wins their bid to be the sole munitions supplier to Reliable Excavation and Demolition and Builder's League United mercenaries.	Linkki
1915, August 13th	A mineshaft collapses on ​​Bilious Hale and his employees, but Bilious Hale punches his way out saving himself and his surviving employees. 14 die from cave-in and punch-related injuries.	Linkki
1921	Franklin D. Roosevelt loses both of his legs while rocket jumping. As a result, he perfects the modern staircase.	Linkki
1921	Bilious Hale, eager to re-ignite the nation's waning interest in coal, introduces the steam-powered hat at the Paris World Fashion Expo.	Linkki
1922, March 13th	Bilious Hale permanently halts production of all coal-powered weapons.	Linkki
1922, March 13th	Mann Co. shuts down their dual coal mine and munitions factory after 50 years of operation, but preserves it as a museum of Mann Co. history.	Linkki
1923	Red Shed ​whiskey distilled in Tougaloo.	Linkki
1930	Team Fortress Classic takes place - Redmond and Blutarch Mann hire the Classic Mercs to battle in the Gravel Wars. Bilious Hale supplies them with weapons and ammunition.	Linkki
1932	American soft drink magnate Theophilus Bonk added sugar to the same mixture as the first set of batteries, creating Bonk! Cola.	Linkki
1932	New Zealand is encapsulated in a dome and sunk to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.	Linkki
1937	Redstone Cargo is established.	Linkki
1939, September 1st	World War II begins. Though he wanted desperately to fight in World War II, the Soldier was rejected from every branch of the U.S. military. Undaunted, he bought his own ticket to Europe. After arriving and finally locating Poland, the Soldier taught himself how to load and fire a variety of weapons before embarking on a Nazi killing spree for which he was awarded several medals that he designed and made himself.	Linkki
1941, syyskuuta	The Heavy's father, a counter-revolutionary, is killed. The Heavy and his family are deported to a North Siberian gulag.	Linkki
1941, joulukuuta	The North Siberian gulag burns to the ground with all its guards tortured to death and all prisoners escape, including the Heavy and his family.	Linkki
1942	New Zealander infant Mun-Dee accidentally breaks a hole in his country's underwater dome while flying away in a rocketship, leaving his parents the only survivors. The rocket crashes in Australia, where the baby is raised by a local couple, growing up to become the Sniper.	Linkki
1945, September 2nd	World War II ends.
1945	Jeremy, the Scout, is born in or around this year.	Linkki
1949	The Soldier ends his Nazi killing spree in Poland upon hearing that World War II had already ended in 1945.	Linkki
1957	While Saxton Hale and Margret are beating panthers to death, Charles Darling absconds with the panthers to put them in his new animal dungeon.	Linkki
1959	Primaprime produces series of instructional films.	Linkki
Early 1960s	Saxton Hale's Barbershop Action debuts in the U.S. It is followed by ancillary titles Saxton Hale's Barbershop Romance and Haircut Horrors Starring Saxton Hale's Ghost.	Linkki
1961	Saxton Hale's Thrilling Tales first arrives on newsstands.	Linkki
1962	Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl debuts in the U.S.	Linkki
1962	Margret's husband Roger's funeral is held. A giant snapping turtle attacks and Saxton Hale promptly strangles it with his suit jacket.	Linkki
1962	Mayor Mike starts making Trevor act like an Italian Stereotype.	Linkki
1962	The alcoholic Demoman's body begins to scrounge most of its nutrients from grain alcohol and aspirin.	Linkki
1963	Only four items are being produced for the elderly: hats, meat, caskets, and Saxton Hale's Mildly Thrilling Tales. Saxton Hale Visits His Mother Monthly and Soothing Stories of Familiar Things soon follow.	Linkki
1964, maaliskuuta	The first, and possibly only, issue of Saxton Hale's Mail Storm is published.	Linkki
1965	The Engineer creates several mechanical contraptions, including the Sentry Gun, while under contract with TF Industries.	Linkki
1968	Camp Saxton established; does not stay open very long.	Linkki
1968	Boy's Adventure Starring Saxton Hale comes under fire from the Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency. Pressured by the Senate, Mann Co. changes the title to Girl's Adventure Starring Saxton Hale.	Linkki
Gravel War
1968, kesäkuuta	The Gravel War - the main setting for Team Fortress 2.	Linkki
1968, later in the year	A rocket carrying the monkeynaut Poopy Joe is launched, but fails immediately due to its Australium fuel supply being replaced with gravel water from defective suitcase explosives.	Linkki
1969, elokuuta	Saxton Hale firebombs Woodstock from a helicopter due to a longtime feud with hippies.	Linkki
1971	In ​the Teufort ​Library, microfiche genealogy records are destroyed "for no reason", leaving only paper originals.	Linkki
1971	Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl ends publication.	Linkki
1971	The RED team steals an intelligence briefcase from BLU, the Engineer does experiments with teleporting bread, and the RED team must fight against a large bread monster with the help of Miss Pauling.	Linkki
1971, 1 day	Gray Mann assassinates Redmond and Blutarch Mann to gain control of their respective corporations. This marks the end of The Gravel War.	Linkki
1971, that evening/night	The ghosts of Redmond and Blutarch Mann enlist the final services of their mercenaries, each team to carry the other brother's body to Hell.	Linkki
Robot War
1971, next day	Saxton Hale fights and captures the last surviving Yeti. Catching wind of Gray Mann's plans to use an army of robots to gain control of Mann Co., Saxton re-hires both RED and BLU unemployed mercenary teams to protect his company and kill robots without pay.	Linkki Linkki
1971	The Medic returns to his home country, studying and perfecting reanimation and male pregnancy.	Linkki, Linkki
1971	Voodoo-Cursed Items are reported stolen from the Gravelpit Community College.	Linkki
1971	The Medic surgically added the eight souls of his teammates to himself.	Linkki
1971, October 29th	Merasmus the Magician attends WizardCon MCLVI as a guest speaker, giving a two-hour talk titled "Living with a Non-Wizard".	Linkki
1971, October 30th	Merasmus returns from WizardCon to find that his castle has been made into the John Doe Raccoon Sanctuary, for which his ex-roommate, the RED Soldier, was appointed park ranger. Being evicted from his own home as a result, and Soldier gaining residence in the castle, Merasmus snaps and transforms into a powerful ghost version of himself, vowing to kill everyone the Soldier cares about.	Linkki
1971, joulukuuta	In the midst of the Robot War, Miss Pauling and the mercenaries struggle to defend Mann Co.'s sprawling domain. The Soldier reveals that he is able to infiltrate Gray Gravel Co. and learn their battle plans by wearing a cardboard robot costume. Wearing more of the same, Miss Pauling, Soldier, and Heavy infiltrate the base together a week later, witnessing the unveiling of the Mecha-Engineer.	Linkki
1971	Saxton Hale kills the steroid-enhanced Yeti with his bare hands at Yeti Park.	Linkki
Australium Chase
1972, Takeover (first half of year)	Gray Mann surrenders to Saxton Hale, ceasing all fighting. Olivia Mann, at that moment CEO of Gray Gravel Co., invokes the Mann Co. Challenge, winning the challenge for lack of any Mann Co. CEO willing to fight her for the company. Olivia immediately transfers the Mann Co. acquisition to her father Gray Mann, who then fires the mercs.	Linkki
1972, immediately after	Administrator, hearing the news of Gray Mann's takeover of Mann Co., goes into hiding, ordering her assistant Miss Pauling to do the same.	Linkki
1972, the following two weeks	Soldier is evicted from the Raccoon Sanctuary. Having broken both arms helping Soldier move, Scout gets the Spy to help him recover his savings from the Teufort Bank's vault, where the two are arrested for the destruction of Teufort.	Linkki
1972, September 7th	Date of mug shot of Spy and Scout (arms healed).	Linkki
1972, six months after Takeover, before the Trial at Teufort	Miss Pauling, under orders from Administrator, begins to reassemble the Mercs, recovering Soldier from Hollywood, Pyro from Frontier, and Demoman from his Badlands home. Gray and Olivia finally manage to find Hale's secret Australium stockpile, only to discover that it had already been taken.	Linkki
1972, before the Trial at Teufort	Soldier murders Tom Jones in his own home. Merasmus, who was Tom Jones' roommate, gets charged for the murder. Merasmus is sentenced to jail.	Linkki
1972, around the time of the trial	Saxton Hale is released from the Millhaven Ultra Prison for Dangerous Men, held there for burning down most of Charles Darling's zoo months earlier. Margret, an old friend, takes Saxton to meet with Darling. Darling ​recruits Hale to recover the Australium (to prolong the lives of his "almost extinct" animals), presumed stolen by the Administrator.	Linkki
1972, Trial at Teufort (second half of year)	Soldier and Demoman attempt to free Scout and Spy from their trial, but are exposed, and all four are sentenced to hang. Miss Pauling saves the mercenaries with a simple civics lesson given to the lead-poisoned populace. Miss Pauling destroys original paper 1850 birth records at the Teufort Library, one remaining fragment bears the name Helen.	Linkki, Linkki
1972, Early December a week after the trial	Scout, Soldier, and Pyro find Heavy with his family in the Dzhugdzhur Mountains of Siberia. Learning his sisters had killed the men that had been sent to kill them, Heavy returns to America with his mother and sisters; Zhanna joins the team, becoming Soldier's fiance. Gray and Olivia discover Pauling has burned the 1850 birth records a week ahead of them.	Linkki
1972, joulukuuta	The Team Fortress Classic team is sent by Gray Mann to hunt the rebuilding Team Fortress 2 team.	Linkki
1972, weeks later Australia	While securing a small submarine, Spy, Soldier, and Zhanna discover that the ​Australians have lost their famous vitality. Heavy and Scout encounter Saxton and Maggie at Ayers Rock and discover that the secret Australium mine has suddenly played out. Demoman and Miss Pauling learn that Sniper's adoptive parents died at about the time of Gray's ​acquisition of Mann Co., incidentally leading him to learn of his birth parents.	Linkki
1972, later New Zealand	Miss Pauling's squad finds Sniper's birth parents in the flooded remains of undersea New Zealand. Sniper's mother escapes to space with the last of the Australium that Miss Pauling could ​possibly find, flooding the remainder of New Zealand. The Classic mercenaries arrive at New Zealand with the TF2 Medic, killing Sniper, and capturing the others.	Linkki
1972, elsewhere	TF2 Engineer has been maintaining the Life Extender Machines of an elderly woman in 19th century attire, resembling Helen, but extremely aged, who, like Gray Mann, is running out of Australium.	Linkki
1972, "at least six hours" later	The Classic team interrogates their captives at Gray Mann's island base. Medic performs perfected reanimation on Sniper. Classic Heavy rips out Gray's Life Extender Machine for himself and his aging team. The TF2 team escapes, killing three Classic mercenaries, but are overcome by blood-sucking robots.	Linkki
1972, an hour later	Pauling's team is saved by Demoman's resistance to the blood-sucking robots and by resuscitation by Medic. They are joined by parachuting Heavy and Scout, only to be ​surrounded, unarmed, by the final wave of the remaining robot army. Resupplied and ​reinforced by Saxton, Mags, and Jerry, the team destroys all robots and kill all the remaining TFC mercenaries except for their Engineer. TF2 Engineer's client uses up the remainder of her Australium in one go, expecting then to survive only an hour more, at most.	Linkki
1978	School in Teufort starts after being cancelled for 6 years.	Linkki
1987, December 4th	According to God himself, Scout dies.	Linkki
21st Century
2022	The lease for Teufort's Federal Pedophile Sanctuary expires.	Linkki
2024	An elderly Saxton and Maggie find themselves at the edge of a cliff, surrounded by a pack of angry cheetahs after fist-fighting a prior cheetah pack. After a brief exchange, they eagerly ready themselves to fight the rest of the cheetahs.	Linkki
71st Century
7039	Saxton Hale's ownership rights of the Sniper's likeness expire.	Linkki

AU/Spinoff-aikajana

Date	Event	Source
1972	Gray Mann, on the verge of bankruptcy, reprograms his robot army to, instead of trying to kill the mercs, sell them robot themed hats to recoup his losses and to edge-in on Mann Co.'s ever growing lucrative hat sales revenue.	Linkki
1996	Kisses von Butternubs, a Pomeranian dog in a sweater, is elected president of the United States of America by popular vote.	Linkki
1999	Future Dell Conagher (Engineer), now very old (but very muscular and long bearded) and his arm replaced with a cybernetic one, and Pyro, who is now a floating head in a bubble, travel back in time to 1972, very briefly, to warn the mercenaries not to open Gray Mann's robocrates to prevent the impending Hat Wars of the 1990s, before having to return to 1999.	Linkki

Trivia

• Vaikka Saxton Hale kertoo löytäneensä internetin 1960-luvulla. Internetiä ei tällöin kuitenkaan vielä ollut. On kuitenkin mahdollista, että Australiassa oli internet jo ennen sen julkaisua muualla.