Community announcers

Community announcers are non-player characters that provide announcer voice cues during gameplay that were not officially created by Valve.

Watergate Announcer

Watergate Announcer is the announcer for Watergate.

Note: Many of these lines are prefixed with "temp" with text-to-speech.

General responses

Setup

UFO arrives "[Administrator] Alert! We're under attack!"

Teammates delivering bottles

"We are in the beam!"

Enemy delivering bottles

"The enemy is in the beam!"

Win

"[Demoman] We did it, hehah! [Scout] Aw, fellas!"

Loss

"[Soldier] Dammit boys. [Scout] What the hell was that crap? [Demoman] I did what I could! [Scout] This is a real frickin' embarrassment."

Unused responses

Introduction

"Collect beer and deposit it into the UFO beam to score points!"

Teammates almost winning

"We have almost made the UFO totally drunk!"

Enemy almost winning

"They almost made the UFO totally drunk!"

Davy Jones

Davy Jones is the announcer for Cursed Cove, voiced by EmNudge.

General responses

Round start

"Ahoy, ya filthy scallywags! All hands on deck and bring me my souls!" "Argh! It be killin' time! Get me those souls and come aboard me ship!" "Aye, it be perfect weather for a bloodbath! Bring me them souls, I'll be waiting for ya on me ship."

Flying Dutchman arrives

"All aboard! Bring me the souls!" "All aboard! It's collectin' time!" "All aboard! We are in the ship!"

The Locker is closing

"Aye, let the seas close in the locker!" "Aye, ye time be running out! Get to the shipwreck already!" "Aye the sea is alive! And she be closin' in!"

The Locker is closed

"Avast! Begone from my locker!" "Avast! Ye've hung around too long!"

Round win

[laughter] You did good, laddies! Ha! I know it was a good plan, asking you lot for help!

Round loss

"After nine years of waiting in the Locker for help, I wasn't expecting much. But that was horrendous!" "Argh! You're somehow worse than your competition!"

Match win

"Victorious!" (cheers) "Victory!" (cheers)

Match loss

"Yer a failure!" (boos) "Ya failed!" (boos)

Special responses

500 damage done to Davy Jones

"Ya can't kill me! I'm already dead!"

The skull behind Davy Jones is destroyed

"Aaah no, my first mate!"

Upon getting too close to Davy Jones

"Get off!" "Get away!" "Get away!"

AFK players

"What are ye doing!" "Don't just stand there!"

Unknown

"Merasmus had better not be hornswaggling me!" "It's time to get bloody!" "Pirate fact number 27, "Harg" is a Finnish word that means "Die already"!" "You're all skin and bones!" "[grunt] Who drank all my rum?"

Unused responses

Round start

"Welcome to my domain!" "I want no parley between you all!" "Are ye ready kids?"

Flying Dutchman arrives

"This man o' war is hungry!" "Last one in's shark bait! Just kidding, you're all gonna die!"

The Locker is closed

"Get out of my locker!" "Five! Four! Uh, 37!"

Round win

"Yes yes yes! Their souls are mine!"

Astronaut

The Astronaut is the announcer for Bread Space, voiced by Brandon "Brantopias" Sinkovich.

General responses

Round start

"Mission begins in 60 seconds." "Mission begins in 30 seconds." "Mission begins in 10 seconds." "Five." "Four." "Three." "Two." "One." "Get to the cart!" "Get on cart!" "Defend our cart!" "Prepare to attack the unidentified specimen, over!"

Match ending

"Attention! 5 minutes left in the mission! 5 minutes left in the mission, over!" "Mission ends in 60 seconds!" "Mission ends in 30 seconds!" "Mission ends in 10 seconds!" "Mission ends in t-minus 10 seconds." "Nine." "Eight." "Seven." "Six." "Five." "Four." "Three." "Two." "One!"

Overtime

"Overtime!" "Overtime." "Overtime..." "It's overtime, boys."

Round win

"Mission successful!"

Round loss

"Mission failed!"

Objective responses

Payload nearing checkpoint, Player attacking

"The package is nearing a checkpoint, over!" "The bomb is nearing a checkpoint!" "The payload is nearing a checkpoint." "The package is nearing a checkpoint!"

Payload nearing checkpoint, Player defending

"The payload is nearing a checkpoint, over." "The payload is nearing a checkpoint!" "The cart is nearing a checkpoint, over." "The cart is nearing a checkpoint!" "The bomb is nearing a checkpoint." "The bomb is nearing a checkpoint!"

Payload nearing final checkpoint, Player attacking

"The package has almost reached the final terminus!" "The bomb has almost reached Big Mama!" "The payload has almost reached the final terminus!" "The payload's almost reached the final terminus!" "The bomb has almost reached the final terminus!"

Payload nearing final checkpoint, Player defending

"The payload has almost reached the final terminus!" "The cart has almost reached the final terminus!" "The cart has almost reached the final terminus!" "The bomb has almost reached Big Mama!" "The cart has almost reached the final terminus!"

Farmer

The Farmer is the announcer for Farmageddon, voiced by MegapiemanPHD .

Round start

"Alright y'all, gotta get as much weed killer from those other guys as possible." "Fight!" "Get that weed killer!" "Go on get it!" "Now go, go, go!" "Go! Collect those jugs!"

Pumpkin is open

"Quick! Get inside the pumpkin." "Go drop off the weed killer, in the pit!" "Hop on in there while he's got his mouth open." "Get in there, poison the heart."

Pumpkin is closed

"He's falling back asleep." "Oh, his mouth is closing!" "He's closing back up, look out!" "The pumpkin's closing again."

Scarecrows have spawned

"Watch out! He's got friends." "Careful! He's summoning scarecrows." "Uh oh, here come the scarecrows!" "Scarecrows!"

Gargoyle related

Spawns "There's a Gargoyle on the map!" "A Gargoyle has appeared!" "Somebody find that Gargoyle before it scutters off!" "There's a Gargoyle around here somewhere!" Successful capture "You got the Gargoyle!" "Nice find with that Gargoyle." "Good find there with that Gargoyle." "You got it!!" Disappears "The Gargoyle's gone!" "Oh you were too slow, the Gargoyle's gone!" "Ya missed the Gargoyle, dangnabbit!" "Welp, there goes the Gargoyle. Better luck next time!"

Celebration

"Yeeha!" "Yeeha!" "Yeeha!" "Yeeha!" "Yeeha!"

Match ending

"Sixty seconds left to go!" "Thirty seconds to go!" "Five." "Four." "Three." "Two." "One!"

Round win

"Y'all did it, the pumpkin's dead." "They've killed the pumpkin! Nice job!" "Ya saved the farm!" "Ya saved the farm."

Round loss

"The pumpkin's dead no thanks to you losers." "Ya let them kill the pumpkin! That was our job." "Ya done lost."

Dr. Freakinhuge & Professor Bigginsize

Dr. Freakinhuge (RED) and Professor Bigginsize (BLU) are the announcers for Crasher, both voiced by Benjamin Rudman.

Dr. Freakinhuge

Round start

"It's time my minions, my growth beam is fully operational! Tonight, we destroy that damn professor!" "Atmospheric conditions are perfect! Zhe bomb is prepped, zhe growth beam is primed, who is ready to become a god?!" "They said I couldn't make a man grow 20 feet, and kick down the castle vall. If you pick up that bomb, I'll prove zhem all wrong!" "Big sings planned tonight, minions! Pick up a bomb, get huge, and destroy the gate! Do you sink you can do all zhat?"

Player idling

"Yes, yes, you're huge, we get it. Now please destroy the enemy gate!" "Vell go on my minion, take zhe bomb to the enemy gate quickly!"

Pickup

"Under zhe beam please, at your convenience, minions." "Listen, time is of the essence, minions. Pick up the bomb, so I can enlarge you!" "Vhat am I paying you goons for?! Pick up zhe bomb!" "Do you not vant to be titans? Get on zhat bomb!" "Onvord, my giant!" "Yes, YES! Bomb gate now, my oversized minion!" "Yahahaha! Prepare for extremely large consequences!" "Go forth, my biggest and brightest!" "No time to vaste! You have big sings ahead of you!" "Gaagh! Another enemy giant!" "Help, my minions! Anoser giant incoming!" "Daah! They have a horrifying new monster!" "Aagh! That idiot professor has unleashed another beast on us!" "Anoser vone of the professor's gigantic goons is on the vay!"

First giant, friendly

"Ah, excellent! You're still alive, get the bomb to zhe gate, START!" "Great gigantic! Now, bring down the enemy's gates!" "Neh-hahahahah! My living siege veapon, go on to gate-crushing glory!"

First giant, enemy

"It vould appear zhe professor has sent his own monster, don't let it reach our gate, my minions!" "Bagh, zhat professor has a growth ray of his own. Plagiarism! Seethery! Destroy his giant!" "Gagh, that awful professor has magnified his own goons! Stop them at vonce!"

Giant down, enemy

"Hah! That half-rate giant didn't stand a chance!" "Enemy giant down! You know he vasnt even really zhat big." "Excellent, minions! You've brought down another giant!"

Giant down, friendly

"Noo, my giant! Someone replace him now! Preparing zhe beam for another try." "Bah! Our giant fell! Who sinks zhey can do better, hmm? I'm getting zhe beam ready for you!" "Our giant is down! Ve require anoser, beam priming now!"

Near checkpoint, player attacking

"Keep going my minion, you are almost zhere!" "Yes, forward giant! Smash that gate!" "Zhere is only a few more steps, don't let me down here!" "Almost zhere, don't stop now!"

Near checkpoint, player defending

"Big problem! Zhey're almost at my gates!" "Haaagh zhat beast is drawing far too close! Do somesing!" "Ack, that enemy giant is far too close for comfort!" "Vhy are you letting zhem near my gates?!"

Point captured, player attacking

"Excellent! Quickly, I'm preparing zhe beam for another giant!" "Yes! Keep up the pace, minions! I'm priming zhe beam again!" "Spectacular job! Vone more, it should do it! Hahahaha!" "Exceptional! It just needs vone more hit!"

Point captured, player defending

"Ack, my gate is damaged! You vere supposed to stop them!" "Yaaaagh, don't let zhem hit it next time!" "I said stop zhem! I don't sink my gate can take another hit!" "Gaah, my gate is barely standing! Don't let zhem damage it again!"

Round win

"And zhey said it vasn't possible! Ahahahaha! Ahahuhahah!" "Nahah-hah! I beat you Professor Bigginsize! I vin, I vin! Hahahah!"

Round loss

I can't believe it, I von't believe it! He beat me!" Eeaugh! Professor Bigginsize, you blizering fool!"

Professor Bigginsize

Round start

"Alright, guinea pigs. I need to blast one of you with my growth ray and carry this bomb to my rival's gates! Any volunteers?" "Yes, growth ray's primed and ready chaps! Pick up the bomb and I'll zap you. We'll show that cursed doctor what's what!" "You know they say that great science is built on the shoulder of giants. So, I've built a machine to create them! Ha ha ha ha! Take the bomb and let's do some science!" "You know a noble growth ray embiggens the smallest man. That man could be you, if you'll carry my bomb!"

Player idling

"Hurry along now, get that bomb to the gates pronto!" "Don't lose sight of our objective here, you need to destroy their gates."

Pickup

"Come on boys, it's ready to go. Pick up the bomb!" "Uhhh, growth ray's ready chaps. Get into position!" "Are you listening? It's time to get big, pick up the bomb!" "Look I promise the growth ray is safe, almost all of my test subjects lived." "Gadzooks, what an astounding specimen!" "God speed, my enormous compatriot!" "Zounds! Our newest titan is exceptional!" "Astounding, hahaha! Good luck giant!" "Oh my, our finest giant yet!" "They have another giant." "Another beast incoming!" "Gentlemen, there's another monster headed our way." "Yikes! The very size of their beast!" "Their doctor's sent another giant after us!"

First giant, friendly

"It's alive! Hahahaha! Oh my living titan, you survived! Now, breach their gates!" "Holy smokes, it actually worked. Now get that bomb to their gate, my atlas!" "Eureka, hahahaha! You lived! Carry that bomb to their gates and wreak havoc, my gigantic friend!"

First giant, enemy

"Blast, that slimy doctor has a monster of his own! Destroy it!" "That blasted doctor's contraption worked! Kill his titan, before they can breach our gates!" "Damnable doctor! Destroy his beast before it can damage my gate!"

Giant down, enemy

"Hahahahaha! We've slain their giant, excellent work!" "Hahaha! Their giant is no match for ours!" "Their beast has fallen! Good work..."

Giant down, friendly

"Our titan has fallen, I'm warming up the ray for another go!" "Drat, we need another giant immediately! Engage the growth ray!" "Rats, we lost our giant! I need another volunteer for the ray!"

Near checkpoint, player attacking

"My word, you've almost done it! Keep going!" "Yes, YES! You're nearly there my giant!" "Just a little further. What's a few yards to a titan, hmm?" "We're almost there, just a few more gigantic steps!"

Near checkpoint, player defending

"Egads, the lumbering abomination is almost to the gate!" "Help! Destroy that beast before it's too late!" "Goodness me, you need to stop that monstrosity now!" "Oh gods, it's almost to the gate!"

Point captured, player attacking

"Hah, we damaged it! I'm priming the ray for another go." "Yes!!! Their gate doesn't stand a chance! Hit it again, readying the growth ray." "Yes! One more! Readying the growth ray!" "Brrravo! Just one more hit, we can do this! Priming the ray..."

Point captured, player defending

"No, they damaged it! Make sure they can't do it again." "The gate! Don't let them damage it again." "No!!! The gate can't take any more hits!" "Blast! I don't think we can take much more!"

Round win

"I've done it! Uhahahah! Ahahahah, yes!" "Hah, take that Dr. Freakinhuge! I did it! Hahahaha!"

Round loss

"No, NOOO!" "Curse you, Dr. Freakinhuge!"

Fisherman and Seal

The Fisherman is the announcer for Selbyen with the Seal as the objective. Some voicelines are in Norwegian. The Fisherman is voiced by MegapiemanPHD .

Fisherman

Setup and Round Start

"Feed the Seal fish as it makes its trip to the ocean. Don't let the other guys do it else you won't get paid!" "Help release the Seals back to the wild by feeding it fish!" "The Seal's going to be hungry when it's released back to the wild! Why not give him some fish for the trip?" "The Seals will start being released in 30 seconds!" "30 seconds 'til we release the Seals! Get ready!" "Three!" "Two!" "One!" "Tre!" "To!" "En!" (or "én")

Seal enters map

"The Seal is headed for the shore!" "The Seal has left the van!" "That Seal looks hungry! Give him some fish!" "Feed that Seal! Feed it!"

Seal exits map

"The Seal's made it to the ocean!" "There goes the Seal! Majestic, isn't he?" "That's enough fish for now. Get some ready for the next Seal!"

Team winning

"We have taken the lead!" "We are winning!" "We are in the lead!" "We have got the lead! Don't lose it now!" "We are in the lead! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Team losing

"We have lost the lead!" "No, they are winning!" "We need to get the lead back!" "Do your job and get the lead back!" "Do better or we are going to lose!"

Round win

"You did it! The Seal is free!" "Look at how happy those Seals are! Ha ha ha ha ha!" "The Seals say 'So long and thanks for all the fish!'" "That's all the fish we need! You did it!" "Seier! Victory! Ha ha ha ha ha!" "You did it! Don't forget to buy a stamp from the gift shop!"

Round loss

"Well, the other guys got all the fish. At least the Seal's happy!" "You didn't get enough fish! You're not getting paid to stand around!" "Apparently we should have hired the other team instead." "You mercs aren't any better than chum."

Seal

Seal vocalizations

Double bark 1 Double bark 2 Double bark 3 Long bark 1 Long bark 2 Long bark 3 Medium bark Single bark 1 Single bark 2

Dracula

Dracula is the announcer for Mannsylvania, voiced by MegapiemanPHD.

Setup and Round Start

"V'elcome to Mannsylvania... You're in for a bloody good time! Mwuah hah hah ha!" "Welcome to Mannsylvania! Hah ha ha ha ha..." "If you v'ish to live, you must satiate my thirst for blood... If you fail... I will simply have to take yours instead... Ha ha ha ha ha!" "V'elcome to Mannsylvania! Satiate my thirst for blood if you wish to live... Else, I will simply take yours..." "V'elcome to Mannsylvania! You're in for a bloody good time! Hah ha ha hah ha!" "V'elcome to Mannsylvania... If you wish to live, you must satiate my thirst for blood..." "V'elcome, mortals... Let the fun begin! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" "I am glad that you are here to donate your blood... To me... Ah ha ha ha ha hah!" "If you wish to survive, you will bring me the blood of someone else... Otherwise, I will take yours! AH HA ha ha ha!" "Mission begins in 10 seconds..." "Five!" "Four!" "Three!" "Two!" "One!" "Let's go! Time to bring..." "BEGIN!!!" "Fly!" "I love to count! One! Two! THREE inches of blood! Ah hah hah ha ha!" "My thirst must be quenched with your blood..."

Portals open

"Fools! I need more blood! BRING me more!" "Fools! I need more blood!!!" "Mortals, the portals are open for you to access my castle! I am waiting for your blood!" "Mortals, the portals are open! Bring me blood!" "I'm waiting for you! Don't disappoint me, or you'll regret it very much!" "I am waiting for you! Don't disappoint me, or you will regret it!" "Mortals, if you do not bring me blood... I will come and get it myself!"

Portals close

"Collect more blood! I will be waiting for you at my castle..." "That is all for now..." "That is all for now!" "I am full! For now..." "Collect more blood! I will be v'aiting for you at my place..." "Collect more blood! I will be v'aiting for you at my castle." "I don't care how you bring me blood, just get it and bring it to ME!"

Inside the castle

"Who dares enter my domain?!" "Unlucky and unwise, he who enters my domain... Let's give them a warm welcome... Heh heh heh heh!" "You may go anywhere you wish in the castle, except for the locked off areas, which you would not wish to go anyway." "You may go anywhere you wish in the castle! Except there, and there, or whatever you do don't go there." "You may go wherever you wish in the castle, except for the locked off areas. Which you would not wish to go anyway so it does not matter..." "You may go anywhere you wish in the castle, except for behind the locked doors. Those are mine." "You may go anywhere you wish in the castle, except for the closed off areas. Don't go in there, there's nothing, it's boring." "Another one... Come, don't be afraid! Bring me the blood, and later you will be rewarded... Hu ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Another one approaches! Come, don't be afraid. Bring me blood, and later you will be rewarded! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Hope you're not with 'big guy', his blood is full of cholesterol. Is bad for me..." "I hope you're not the 'skinny guy', he's got too much sugar in his blood. Egh!" "I hope you're not the one with 'one eye', too much alcohol. I don't want to get drunk right now." "My thirst must be quenched with your blood..." "I v'ant to suck your BLOOD!!!" "I am Vlad Dracula, and welcome to my castle... Hu ha ha ha ha ha!" "I am Dracula, and you are dinner..."

Gargoyle related

Spawns "A Gargoyle has appeared somewhere on the map." "A Gargoyle has spawned." "There is a Gargoyle on the map." "There is a Gargoyle around here somewhere, can you find it?" Disappears "The Gargoyle is gone!" "The Gargoyle has left..." "You have missed the Gargoyle, such a shame..." "Oh, the Gargoyle has escaped!" "Too bad, you missed the Gargoyle!" "The Gargoyle has left the map..."

Other

Mortals! If you do not bring me blood, I will come out of this coffin and get it for you! But keep in mind that you won't like it...

Round win

"I am at full strength! For this, you will be rewarded... Maybe I will let you live! Or maybe not... Huhahahahahaha!" "I am at full power! For this, you will be rewarded! Maybe I will even let you live... Or maybe not! Hah hah hah hah hah!" "Yes! YES! Finally I am at full strength! But it... Seems the coffin's a little stuck! I can't get out!" "Yes... YES! Finally, I am at full POWER! Seems the coffin's a little stuck, I can't get out. Anyone got a crowbar?" "Strength... It fills me! Winners will be rewarded! Losers will be punished..."

Round loss

"Fools! You v'ill regret this very much..." "You have disappointed me! Lucky for you, you v'ill not live long enough to regret it..." "You have failed me! Now, you are dinner..." "I do not suffer losers, I eat them instead..." "You didn't bring me enough of their blood! So now, I shall have yours! Hah ha ha ha ha!" "Is that it? Is that all you can bring me?? Fine, then I shall take the rest from you...!" "I still thirst for more! If you cannot bring it to me, then I will take it from you..." "You have failed... Which means you are now dinner... Hah hah hah hah hah hah...!" "Dinner is served! And dinner is you! Huh hah hah hah hah ha!"

Sheila

Sheila is the announcer for Galleria, voiced by OctoBlitzVA.

Setup time and round start

"Attention shoppers, please do not fight over our limited stock." "Attention shoppers, please deliver your gifts to the tree in the ice rink." "Attention shoppers, please report any unattended cans of rocket fuel to mall staff." "Five!" "Four." "Three." "Two." "One."

Ice rink open

"Attention shoppers, the ice rink is now available for use." "The rink is now open, just be sure not to slip." "Attention shoppers, the ice rink is now open. We remind you to keep roughhousing on the ice to a minimum." "Attention all patrons, the Secret Santa is now open. Please deliver your gifts in a neat and orderly fashion." "The rink is now open. We would like to remind patrons that firearms are strictly prohibited while on the ice."

Ice rink closed

"Attention skaters, please exit the rink as we resurface the ice." "We are now resurfacing the rink. Please exit in an orderly fashion." "The rink is now closed to repair bullet holes in the ice."

Ice resurfacer kills player

"The office would like to remind you that anyone still on the ice at this time will also be resurfaced. Thank you for your cooperation." "Custodian to the ice rink please! Custodian to the ice rink." "Attention customers, anyone caught disobeying skating rules will be escorted out by security." "You break it, you buy it, gentlemen. That means you need to get off the ice." "The office would like to remind the gentleman in BLU that the ice rink is closed. Thank you." "To the gentleman in RED, the ice rink is closed. Thank you."

Round end

"Attention mall patrons, the mall will now be closing early tonight due to an unexpected rocket launch. Thank you for your cooperation." "Attention customers, due to a tree-related malfunction, the Secret Santa has been postponed until further notice." "Attention patrons, I am pleased to announce that the Secret Santa was a success. Your gifts are currently on their way to the misfortunate." "Attention patrons, please run for your lives in a calm and orderly fashion. Thank you."

15% chance of playing 10 seconds after the capture zone opens

"To the owner of one RED Intelligence briefcase, please report to the lost and found. Thank you." "To the owner of, uuh, white camper van, please move it out of the fire lane or you will be towed. Thank you for your business." "To the owner of a RED Bread van, you left your lights on."

Agent 96 & El Comandante

Agent 96 (BLU) and El Comandante (RED) are the announcers for Embargo, voiced by *STAR* and OctoBlitzVA respectively.

Agent 96

Round start

"HELL YEAH BABY, tasks are simple, advance towards the enemy and push our special delivery." "Mercenaries are deployed baby, Operation Embargo is ON!" "We hired you today to give El Comandante our very delightful hellish gift." "The mission starts in 30 seconds!" "The mission starts in 30 seconds!" "The groovy dance will start in 30." "We are starting in 10. Move it!" "10 seconds, people, move it up!" "Five." "Four." "Three." "Two." "One."

Payload nearing checkpoint

"Our canned bomb is close to the checkpoint." "Oh YEAH! We are taking that checkpoint!" "The way we go baby! Disco is on the move!"

Payload captured first checkpoint

"Keep it up, sugar – we got three more to go!" "Picasso gift's is going, baby! Let's go to the truck." "One to go, three left, keep moving forward."

Payload nearing second checkpoint

"They are raisin' the stakes! Tanks have been detected in the streets." "Dang it! They closed the streets with tanks! Go 'round it quick!" "Alert, I detect multiple tanks towards our directions – we have to leave this now!"

Payload captured second checkpoint

"We are gamblin' today, boys, haha! Take that damn thing over there and let's go to his front door!" "Make sure to enjoy your stay and wreck anything you find funny, we are raisin' up the stakes." "Hohh woof, that was a close one! Well, we are going inside the casino. Have fun!"

Payload captured third checkpoint

"Betting on those cold-minded mercs was a good idea! Keep going!" "Jackpot! One more to go and we bring prizes home!" "What a ripoff of Vegas, am I right? I want my got-damn refund!"

Payload nearing final point

"We are in the final stretch – dance up boys!" "This is what I'm talking about! Look at that money!" "Oh, my sweet lord... look at that cash all together in one place!"

Match ending

"Boys, wake up! We are losing this thing!" "Get on with it, we need to win this – your criminal records won't delete themselves!"

Round win

"Thank you for calling the Bureau Bomb Department; please leave a message after the beep." "Time to paint the walls blue!" "What a beautifull painting, am I right?"

Round loss

"And they won! And I thought he was the big 'n stupid one." "Very disappointed in you, baby. Try harder next time." "Not fair, huh? You failed!"

Robot Destroyed

"Hah! This is what i call 'budget cuts' *giggles* get it?" "Nothing personal! Although those pieces can be useful." "Sorry, little fellas. They can be repaired later, right?"

El Comandante

Round start

"A missione empeza, in thirty seconds." "Mission begins in treinta segundos!" "Diez segundos, cabrón!" "Ten seconds, amigos!" "Cinco." "Cuatro." "Tres." "Dos." "Uno." "I hired you to make one simple task; don't let those bafoons get any closer to my base." "Ha ha! Amigos, welcome to my paradise island! You will not be enjoying your stay today, because you got WORK TO DO!" "These bafoons from the Bureau think they can screw my operation! They will learn not to mess with El 'Grandioso' Comandante!"

Payload nearing checkpoint

"Their silly wagon is close to my checkpoint. STOP IT!" "Please get those PENDEJOS OUT OF HERE!" "That Bucket of paint is dangerously close to the checkpoint!"

Payload captured first checkpoint

"Cabrón! They are going towards the town. STOP THEM!" "All this loss is taken down from your salary! Imbeciles!" "Don't let them get closer to my base! You bafoons!"

Payload nearing second checkpoint

"Watch out, I'm closing the streets with heavy power! HAHAHAHA! And they- hah- and they are moving to the other side." "How about some tanks, huh? MUAHAHAHAHAH and they- they are driving right past them, aren't they?" "Now I wanna see how you get out of this one! Hahahahah-and... they turned left, didn't they?"

Payload captured second checkpoint

"My casino is for customers. So making sure you understand, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" "You cannot imagine how ANGRY I- *inhales* comandante, relax, comandante, relax, remember what terapista said." "That casino is not for you! Do your job and stop that truck!"

Payload captured third checkpoint

"They are on the casino! YOU MM! RAAAAARGH!" "Now these cabróns are even closer to us. Are you actually doing something!?" "What I'm paying you people for? Defend. The. Cart."

Payload nearing final point

"They are close to my precious dinero. STOP IT!" "That's the money I pay you. And that thing is DANGEROUSLY CLOSE!" "STOP THE CART BEFORE I GO BANKRUPT, FOR SAKES!"

Match ending

"Hahahahah! We are winning! WE ARE WINNING!" "YEEES! Take THAT, bureaucrats!"

Round win

"Yes, I WIN! And my genius tactics! I am GRANDIOSO!" "Yes, yes, yes! I won! Not even close, you damn Americans." "Victoria for ME! Hahahahahahaha."

Round loss

"NO, NO, NO! My PRECIOUS SAVINGS!" "There it goes... my counterfeit operation! And it is ALL YOUR FAULT!" "MI DINERO! NOOOOOOOOO!"

Robot Destroyed

"These robots are expensive! Try NOT messing with them." "Can you please DON'T shoot the robots!" "These pieces are not cheap. WATCH IT!"

Trivia

Davy Jones

• The line "Are ye ready kids?" is a reference to the children television show Spongebob Squarepants's opening song.
• The line "We are in the ship!" is a reference to the Watergate Announcer voice line "We are in the beam".
• The line "After nine years of waiting in the Locker for help, I wasn't expecting much. But that was horrendous!" is a reference to the developer commentary, in which Gabe Newell says that "after nine years [of Team Fortress 2 being] in development, hopefully it will have been worth the wait.".

Professor Bigginsize

• The line "You know a noble growth ray embiggens the smallest man..." is a reference to the motto of the fictional town of Springfield in The Simpsons: "A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."

The Fisherman

• The line "The Seals say 'So long and thanks for all the fish!'" is a reference to a line spoken by the dolphins in the radio comedy and book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as well as the title of the fourth book in the series.