Soldier responses

Voice Responses are contextually triggered lines that play after the player has achieved something, for instance killing a certain amount of enemies with a Primary or Melee Weapon, or the player has triggered something, like being set on fire. The Soldier has several vocal responses, all of which are listed below (excluding Voice Commands).

Certain voice responses can also be spoken by the Soldier Robot, if the same conditions are met. To hear these versions of the lines, press this button

next to the desired response. Press this button

to hear the response when spoken by a Giant Soldier Robot.

Taunt-related responses

Main article: Soldier taunts

All voice lines associated with a player-initiated taunt are located in the Soldier taunts page along with a description of the animation.

Kill-related responses

After killing more than 1 enemy in 20 seconds with a primary weapon

"Ka-boom!"   "Maggots!"   "Take your lumps like a man, Private Twinkletoes."   "You are all weak. You are all bleeders."

After killing more than 3 enemies in 20 seconds with a primary weapon

"Time to inform your next of kin!"   "This is my world. You are not welcome in my world."

Killing a Demoman

"You will not be missed."   "I never liked you."   "You were loud and ugly, and now you're DEAD! Amen."   "You're dead, that's good, amen."   "Godspeed, you magnificent bastard."   "You were good son, real good; maybe even the best."

Kill-streak while being healed

"Blammo!"   "Boom!"   "Pa-POW!"

Destroying a building

"Charge!"   "Forward!"   "Screamin' Eagles!"   "Oh yeah!"   "Hooah!"

Kill assist

"Thanks, soldier."

Melee kill

"Yaaaaagh!"   "Aaaagh!"   "Yaaaaarrrrrgggh!"   "Raagh!"   "Aaaah!!"

Domination-related responses

Domination

(Evil laughter 1)   (Evil laughter 2)   (Evil laughter 3)   (Happy laughter 1)   (Happy laughter 2)   (Happy laughter 3)   (Long laughter)   (Long, wheezing laughter)   "If God had wanted you to live, He would not have created me!"   "I joined this team just to kill maggots like you."

Dominating a Scout

"Dominated, short pants!"   "How's that domination feel, city boy?"   "You kids today don't know how to dominate."   "Less talk, more fight."   "You cannot run from me, my gun is faster."   "You run fast, my bullets run faster."   "Never bring a bat to a battlefield, war is not a game."   "Your mouth wrote checks, my gun has cashed them."   "Got anything funny to say about that, funny man?"   "Never send a boy to fight a man's war."   "You were in a big fat hurry to die, son."

Dominating a Soldier

"Dominated, hippie, get a job!"   "You better hope there's hacky-sack in Hell, hippie!"   "You are now a conscientious objector to being dead, hippie!"   "What's the matter, hippie? Hair get in your eyes?"   "Get a haircut, hippie."   "You're a disgrace to the uniform."

Dominating a Pyro

"I just tore you a new chimney, Smokey Joe!"   "You cannot burn me, I'm already on fire!"   "You cannot burn me! I'm already ablaze with passion, for war!"   "You cannot burn me! I do not have time to combust!"   "Fire is for cookin' s'mores, son. Get a real gun."   "Your fire-retardant ass just got dominated."   "Ha! Ya fight like a girl!"   "How do you like that, All Quiet on the Western Front?"   "Get a haircut, hippie!" [whispered] "Just in case."

Dominating a Demoman

"Dominated, you one-eyed cross-dresser."   "Consider yourself dominated, you Scotch son of a bitch!"   "Dominated, you skirt-twirling drunk."   "I love your death, cyclops; your death is sweet to me like love is sweet."   "Scotland is not a real country; you are an Englishman with a dress."   "You're like the Cyclops of Greek myth; except you are Scottish, and I hate you!"

Dominating a Heavy

"You just got dominated, Sputnik."   "Stars and Stripes beats Hammer and Sickle. Look it up!"   "You just got dominated, Comrade."   "Dominated, ya red menace!"   "Go play your pinko chess game with the Devil, Commie!"   "This American boot just kicked your ass back to Russia!"   "Checkmate, Stalingrad!"

Dominating an Engineer

"Dominated, grease monkey."   "You just got dominated, toymaker."   "Stop hiding behind your little toys and fight like a man!"   "I will eat your ribs, I will eat them up!"   "That's where books get you, professor!"   "Go back to Calgary, ya cow-herdin' Canadian!"

Dominating a Medic

"You just got dominated, Oktoberfest!"   "You just got dominated, Fritz!"   "America wins again!"   "Ich bin I just kicked your ass!"   ("Ich bin" is German for "I am".) "Welcome to the United States of YOU JUST GOT DOMINATED!"   "I'm gonna mail my boot to the Kaiser with your ass around it!"   "Gotcha, Herr Doktor!"

Dominating a Sniper

"This is not a camping trip, Sheila; this is war and I love it!"   "You will not turn my battlefield into a campground."   "Now hear this, camper, you are not wanted on my beloved battlefield!"   "I will send my condolences to your kangaroo wife."   "You are a coward, and you died like one."   "The next time you want to kill a man, look him in the eyes!"   "You just got dominated, Bilbo Baggins!"   "You just got dominated, Balbo Biggins!"   "You just got dominated, Bablo Bravins!"   "You just got dominated, Barble Bapkins!"   "You just got dominated, Bazbo Bibbons!"   "You just got dominated, Bulbo Buttons!"   "Aww, am I too violent for you, cupcake?"   "Your country did not prepare you for the level of violence you will meet on my battlefield!"

Dominating a Spy

"Gotcha, crouton."   "You just got your Frenchie ass dominated."   "Ohh-honh-honh-honh-You're dominated."   (The sound Soldier makes imitates stereotypical French laughter.) "Dominated, ya rifle-droppin' coward!"   "Hit the showers, Frenchie."   "Your white flag does not stop American bullets."   "Words cannot express how much I hate France right now!"   "Bon voyage, crouton!"

Revenge kill

"Hehehyaaa!"   "Today is a good day."   "Outstanding!"

Event-related responses

Round start

"Charge!"   "Forward!"   "Give 'em hell, boys!"   "Last one alive, lock the door!"   "Attack!"   "Hehehyaaa!"

Sudden Death

"Boooooo..."   "Each and every one of you has failed."   "Are you all trying for a Section Eight?"   "Which of you numbnuts let us down?"   "You have dishonored this entire unit!"   "You are the sorriest excuses for soldiers I have ever seen!"   "Pain is weakness leaving the body."   "Down and give me twenty!"   "Get with the program!"   "If I have to crack some skulls, I will."   "That was an amazing killing spree... by the other team!"   "You are all dishonorably discharged."

Stalemate

"We failed, men."   "I will not tolerate failure on my team."   (Grumble)

Set on fire

"Fire, fire, fire!"   "I am on fire!"   "The burning, the burning!"

On death by melee weapon and/or critical hit

(Dying scream)   (Dying scream)   (Dying scream)   (Dying scream)

Severe pain

"Oooooohhhh!"   "Owww!"   "Augghhh!"   "Dah!"   "Yaaah!"   "Daawww!"

Sharp pain

"Oof!"   "Urg!"   "Unf!"

Hit by Gas Passer, Jarate, Mad Milk, Mutated Milk, or Self-Aware Beauty Mark

(Grumble)   "No!"   "Dammit!"   (groans)

Teleportation

"Thanks."   "Thanks for the Teleporter."   "Thanks, Engie."

Healed by Medic

"You deserve a medal, Doc."   "Thanks for the aid."   "Thanks, Doc."

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

"I am going to enjoy killing each and every one of you sorry sacks of scum!"   "Each and every one of you will be sent home to your momma' in a box!"   "You are all maggots, you scum sucking fruit baskets!"   "You sissified maggot scum have just signed your death warrants!"   "Surrender now, maggots, and you will not be harmed!"   "You are scum! You are nothin' but a buncha' cowards!"   "We have you surrounded, at least from this side!"

Achievement unlocked

"Now that is what I wanna see!"   "And that is how you do it, men!"   (Long laughter)   (Happy laughter)   "Screamin' Eagles!"

Weapon-related responses

Activating Battalion's Backup, Buff Banner, or Concheror

Conch Shell Call BLU Bugle Call (Buff Banner) RED Bugle Call (Buff Banner) BLU Bugle Call (Battalion's Backup) RED Bugle Call (Battalion's Backup) "Charge!"   "Give 'em hell, boys!"   "Last one alive, lock the door!"   "Forward!"   "Attack!"   "Hehehyaaa!"

Objective-related responses

After capturing intelligence

"This is my intelligence."   "And that is how you do it, men!"   "I have rescued my intelligence."

After capturing control point

"Now that is what I wanna see!"   "This point is mine! Do you understand that?"   "We have commandeered my point!"

Standing on captured control point, firing weapon

"Stand... on... the... point, numbnuts!"   "Stand... on... the... point, maggot!"   "Stand... on... the... point, maggots!"

Defense

"Boo-yah!"   "The worm has turned, gentlemen."   "Hoo-ah!"

Payload-related responses

Attacking: Cart goes forward

"Move, move, move!" "Push!" "I do not see enough pushing!" "Push, that is an order!" "Push that cart!" "Push that cart forward!" "Push, cream-puffs!" "Push, you apple-blossoms!" "Push, you butter muffins!" "Ladies, let's get this cart moving!" "You will push this cart or I will push you into a grave!" "We will push until there is nothing left to push!" "Push!" "Keep pushing!" "Push like you mean it!"

Attacking: Cart goes back

"Do not let that cart roll back!" "The cart needs to go forward!"

Defending: Cart goes forward

"Do not let that cart go forward!" "Hold the line, men! Stop that cart!" "Stop that cart!"

Defending: Cart goes back

"The cart's falling back!" "That's it, men, move that cart back!"

Attacking: Stay close to cart

"Get to the cart!" "Get to the cart, ladies!" "Everyone, get to the cart!" "Get to the cart, maggots!" "Stick to that cart like glue, that is an order!" "Get to the cart! Hup, hup, hup!"

Attacking: Cart has stopped

"Why is that cart stopped, maggots?!" "I do not see a cart moving, ladies!" "Why is that cart not moving?!"

Defending: Stop the bomb

"Stand next to the cart, damn you!" "Get to the cart!" "You will stand next to that cart or I will stand you next to that cart!"

Duel-related responses

Starting a duel

"Let's go!"   "Time to inform your next of kin!"   "If God had wanted you to live, He would not have created me!"   "I am going to claw my way down your throat and tear out your very soul!"   "I joined this team just to kill maggots like you."   "I am going to strangle you with your own frilly training bra!"

Duel accepted

"Booyah!"   "Oh yeah."   "Okay!"   "Roger that!"   "If you know what's good for ya, you will run!"   "Affirmative!"

Duel rejected

"I never liked you."   "Boooooo..."   "You are a spineless worm! You are a mistake of nature! You are walking vomit!"

Contract-related responses

Contract complete

"Drop and give me victory!" "Mission complete!" "I crap harder missions than this!" "I got three words for you: U, S, A!" "This mission never even saw us coming!" "Too easy!" Difficult Contract "Ha, we did it!" "That took some doing." "That was a hell of a campaign, son!" "All gave some, some gave all! But nobody got a prize but us!" "We almost died on that hill! But dammit, we took it, didn't we?"

Competitive Mode responses

Setup

First round

"Fall in, men!" "Boots on the ground, boys!" "Let's show these muffin-tops what the wrong end of a rocket launcher looks like!" "Men, you are about to become someone's new worst nightmare!" "Any man comes at me airborne, I am turning into a meat cloud!" "Let's make some pain, boys!" "Someone jumps at me, they're hitting the ground in pieces!" "Ready for active duty!" "War is hell! My kind of hell!" "Present and accounted for!" "Locked and loaded!" "Come and get it, maggots!" Rare "We have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion, the wings of an eagle, the big muscular arms of a panther-man, and the silent majesty of a kraken!" "Everyone, please stand! [singing] God bless America, land of... America... And so forth and so on...Move out!" (Sung to the tune of "God Bless America") "War is like a game of chess: with guts on top of it! And instead of chess pieces, there's just brave blood-hungry sons-of-bitches who love war!" "Drop your socks and grab your socks, boys! Now put down those socks and let's get to work!" (Reference to a line spoken by Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in the film Full Metal Jacket) "You are all daisies and I will plant your sorry asses in my war garden!" "War: what is it good for? Everything!" (Parody of Edwin Starr's "War") Competitive Mode "Drop your bibs and make some gibs, maggots!" "Which one of us is Pocket?" "Which one of us is Roamer?" "Who's playing Pocket?" "Mess with the Pocket, get a rocket!" "Dibs on their Medic!"

Previous round was a win

"We won the battle, now let's win the war!" "I don't want to jinx this, men, but we are guaranteed to win!" "Do! Not! Get! Cocky!" "Do not get cocky, men, even though we have every reason to be! We are the best!" "Permission to get cocky, men! It is impossible for us to lose!" Rare "Just because you won does not make you a winner! Winners keep winning! I will never stop winning until I have won!" "Men, George Washington never lost! Jesus never lost! Patton never lost! If winning's good enough for those war heroes, it's damn well good enough for us!" "[Singing] I love to win, by the dawn's early light!" (Sung to the tune of "The Star-Spangled Banner") "[Singing] I love to win, so I guess we should win!" (Sung to the tune of "The Star-Spangled Banner")

Previous round was a loss

"Stop lagging and start tagging, men!" "We will not lose again!" "I will not stand for losing!" "We cannot let these maggots beat us again!" "Remember, boys, it is always darkest before we win!" "This losing streak ends here, ladies!" "I'm going to tell you ladies a secret: I hate losing!" "My shoulders are broad, men, but I can't fit all of you on them!" Rare "Remember, men, there is no 'I' in 'team'! And I am going to win, with or without you!" "Everyone, please stand! [Singing] Oh, say, can you see, that we lost the first game! [Speaking normally] You do see that, right?" (Sung to the tune of "The Star-Spangled Banner") "Remember, men, 'the flag was still there'! And if a piece of fabric can do it, you daisies can do it! Hang in there!" "Everyone, take a knee! Dear God, we are sorry we angered you, please stop helping the other team! Over and out!" "A winner knows when to fight and when not to fight! Answer: Never! Stop! Fighting!"

Previous round was a tie

"Let's break this tie!" "I'm gonna break this tie over my knee!" "Tie-breaking time!" "I'm gonna break my foot off in this tie's ass!" "If there is one thing I hate more than losing, it is tying! That just means everybody loses!" "Men, we are tied, and that is just another word for losing!"

Outcomes

Match win

"That is how you win!" "We won!" "We win! We win!" "We win!" "U! S! A!" "Drop and give me victory!" "Mwah ha ha ha ha!" "Good enough for this Marine!"

Game win

"All gave some! They gave a lot! We didn't give an inch!" "Sun Tzu's got nothing on us!" "Sun Tzu might have invented the War, but we invented winning them!" "I am a courage-filled machine of war!" "Hah, we did it!" "Oorah!" "I've got three words for you: U! S! A!" Rare "Of course we won! We are Americans! If you didn't win, I would need to see your birth certificate!" "If you do not like losing to an enlisted man, do not pick a fight with one!" "Dear other team: please reach into your ass and give me my foot back! You can have it back next game!" "They said we couldn't do it! They said we shouldn't do it! They begged us not to do it! And we did it anyway!" "All gave some! Some gave more! But only one gave nothing, the winner!" "Pick up their asses gently, men. Put them in a tub with scented candles. Tuck them into bed and kiss their asses on the forehead. Because we have kicked them all over this map and they are devastated!" "Sun Tzu said 'Winning a hundred wars is not the best thing. The best thing is to win without fighting at all.' Men, Sun Tzu is an idiot! And if I ever see him, I will punch him in his mouth!" "This is my rifle, this is my gun! You maggots stink and that's why we won!" (Reference to the Rifleman's Creed) "We almost died on that hill! But dammit, we took it, didn't we?"

Rank up

"Rank up!" "Rank up, maggot!" "We have ranked up!" "Sound off like you've got a rank!" "You got the stripe, son! You can't see it, but I'm saluting you right now!" "You ranked up, son! You can't see it, but I'm dropping and giving you twenty! [Sotto voce] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine..." "I love the smell of a rank up in the morning!" (Reference to a line spoken by Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore in Apocalypse Now) "This is my rank up, there are many like it, but this one is mine!" (Reference to the Rifleman's Creed) "Well done, sir!" "That took some doing!" "Looks like we ranked up!" "We have been promoted, maggot!" "Looks like we moved up in rank!" Top scoring "We've hit the top of the mountain, son! Now let's defend this pile of rocks!"

Game summary

"Son, I am proud of you!" "Ten-Hut!" "I am proud of you, you sack of garbage! Now eat the floor and give me twenty!" "You have grit, you have valor, and now you have proof!" "Son, whatever third-world stink pile you actually live in, today you are an American!" "All gave some, some gave all, but nobody got a prize but us!" "Well done, maggot!" "We did it, son!" Rare "One time I killed a man in Germany! After the war! He was asking for directions! I am more proud of this!" "I have been awarded the Purple Heart, the Orange Star, the Green Clover, the Blue Diamond, and the Big Golden Army Ball of Bravery! And I am most proud of this!"

Mann vs. Machine responses

Setup/Between Waves

Ready to play

"Ready." "I am ready." Other players are not ready "Fall in, men." "Sound off if you're ready." "Man up, ladies."

Wave finished, near an Upgrade Station

"Men, get to the Upgrade Stations."

After accessing an Upgrade Station

"Ahhh... Much better." "Well, back to the front." "Bwahah!"

During a wave

Collecting credits

"Grab that cash, boys, we earned it." "Mwaha! The spoils of war."

Teammate places a Sapper on a Robot

"Sapping a robot." "That is a sapped robot."

Enemy Sniper

"Sniper!"

Sentry Buster

Incoming "Sentry Buster!" Destroyed "Sentry Buster eliminated."

Bomb dropped

"Bomb bot has been eliminated." "Ten-hut! Bomb is clear." While in Alert Zone "Now that was close."

Bomb picked up

"Bomb!" "They got a bomb!" "Another bomb."

Bomb carrier upgrades

"That bomb bot's getting angry." "That bomb bot's getting angrier." "That bomb bot's on a rampage."

Giant Robot

Deployed "Big robot!" "Let's give this soup can hell!" Picks up bomb "That big one's got the bomb!" "Big robot's got the bomb, boys!"

Tank

Incoming "Tank!" "Taaaaaaaank!" In Alert Zone "That Tank is dropping a bomb!" Attacking "Shoot that Tank!" "We need to kill the Tank!" "Let's kick this robot's ass back to the Bronze Age!" Destroyed "Tank is down, men!" "Tank has been neutralized!"

Teammate is killed

"Scout down." "Soldier down." "Pyro down." "Demo down." "Heavy down." "Engineer down." "Medic down." "Sniper down." "Spy down."

All other teammates are dead

"Just me and you, lady-bots!" "I am not trapped in a facility full of robots. You are all trapped in here with me!" (Reference to a line spoken by Rorschach from Watchmen)

Upon being revived with a Reanimator

"TEN HUT!" "AT-TEEENNN-TION!" "Back from Hell!" "Hello again!" "Back from the dead and reporting for duty!" "I did not have permission to die!"

Miscellaneous

"You worthless lady-bots get back here and fight!" "Reboot in robot hell, you tin savages!" "This is not a robot tea party, sparkbags, this is robot war!" "Get a haircut, trashcans." "The best part of you ran down your motherboard." "You're not a real robot, are you, comrade?"

Mannhattan specific

Gate responses

Robots attacking "The robots are attacking the gate!" Robots take gate "The robots took the gate!"

Receiving a Killstreak Kit

Common Loot "Mine!" "This is mine now!" "There are many like it, but this one is mine!" (Reference to the Rifleman's Creed) Rare Loot "Holy Mary, mother of Joseph!" "I will kill any man who tries to take this from me." "Sweet Land of Liberty!" "You can have this when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. And even then, good luck! Because I will have glued it to my cold, dead hands!" Godlike Loot [Whispered] "This is what the President must feel like all the time!" [Whispered] "It's perfect!" "This is what God would use to shoot somebody."

Versus Saxton Hale responses

Note: Voicelines for this mode were provided by James McGuinn.

Setup

"They say I should not dig my own grave! Fine! Then I will dig your own grave!" Special "Saxton, I don't need a gun to take you down!" "Saxton! I don't need a gun to take you down!"

Saxton location

Above (inflected) "ABOOOOVE-YOU!" "Above you, maggot!" (inflected) "LOOOOK-UP!" "Look to the skies, maggots!" (inflected) "AIRBORNE-ENEMY-DETECTED!" "Airborne enemy detected!" Behind (inflected) "BEHIIIIND-YOU!" "Behind you!" "Behind you, maggot!" Contact "Contact!" "CON-TACT!" "Contact, directly in front of me!"

Successful critical hit with Market Gardener

"YOU! HAVE! BEEN! GARDENED!" "YOU! HAVE! BEEN! GARDENED!" "You have been Gardened, maggot!" "Gardened!" "GOTTIM!"

Medic status

"MEDIC! Dammit, we have none, ladies!" "I do not see any doctors amongst you, maggots!" "I do not see any doctors amongst you, maggots!" "WE HAVE NO MEDIC, LADIES!" "Be careful, ladies, we don't have any Medics! Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Yeah, right." "Looks like our Medic got cold feet!" "Looks like our battlefield nurse decided to stay at the campground!" "We have no Medic, ladies!"

Wall climb

"Wall climbing is like rocket jumping, but you keep the rocket!" "Wall climb now! That is an order!"

Match win

"Put on some clothes, ya hippie!"

Halloween / Full Moon responses

Wheel of Fate outcomes

While Wheel of Fate spins

"Here we go." "Spinning. Spinning!" "I got a good feeling about this!" "Come on! Seven!"

Dance Off fate

"Must... Stop... Dancing." "Must... Think... About... Sensible haircuts!"

No Gravity fate

"Don't you die on me, gravity." Fate wears off "Gravity! Noooo!"

Big Head fate

"Oh, my big head!" "Ahhrrr!" "Nooo!"

Small Head fate

"Oh, my tiny head!" "Oh, my head!" "So tiny!"

Whammy fate (bleeding variant)

"My blood! No!" "Merasmus! I need that blood!"

Positive fate

"Yaaay!" (Happy laughter)

Negative fate

"You are the worst roommate!"

During battle with Merasmus

Merasmus brings out Bombinomicon

"Look out! It's the bas-bo bibby bomb!" "Look out! It's the bas-bo bombbibomb!" "Look out! It's the bomb-bo basmatron!" "Everyone down! He's got a book!" "It's a book! He's going to read!"

Head turned into bomb

"Oh, my big bomb head!" "Bomb head! I got a good feeling about this."

Successfully stun Merasmus

"Hah! You screwed up now, Merasmus!" "Hah! I'm coming for you, wizard!"

Merasmus hides

"You can't hide from me forever, Merasmus!" "You better hide, Merasmus!" "Come on out, Merasmus. I've got your rent." "Come on out, Merasmus! I've got your body! It's not burned! Looks pretty good! I might crawl in there myself!" "Everybody's dead now, Merasmus! From being scared! You win! Come out!"

Looking for Merasmus

"Merasmus!" "Get out here so I can kick you right in your frilly wizard dress!" "Come get me, wizard coward!" "Wizard! You shall not hide!" "I'm tired of looking." "Merasmus, get your spectral ass out here!" "Come on out here, enchantress!" (apostrophe) "Oh, hello, Merlin, the famous magician! Nooo, I have not seen Merasmus. What's that? Nooo, I can't think of anyone who'd want an autograph." (Reference to the wizard Merlin from Arthurian legend) (apostrophe) "Oh hello Gundorf! Where's Blasbo Babbins? Oh there he is! Everyone's here! Labalos, Gimpy, Dumpy, Snoopy...umm... Man, I wish Merasmus was around to see this magical turn of events!" (Mispronunciation of the characters Gandalf, Bilbo Baggins, Legolas, and Gimli from The Lord of the Rings) (apostrophe) "Oh look it's Houdini. What's that, Hougenie? You looking for a new best friend? Too bad there's no wizards around... get out here Merasmus!" (Reference to escape artist Harry Houdini) (apostrophe) "What's that, Merasmus's favorite actor, Burt Lancaster? You think people who hide are cowards? Wise words, Burt Lancaster. You've convinced all of us... Damn it, Merasmus, get out here!" (Reference to actor Burt Lancaster.) [Sing-song] "Merasmus!" "We give up, Merasmus! You're too scary for us! Now come on out so we can kick your ass!" "Oh no, I hope this scary wizard doesn't guess my card." "Merasmus! Stop taking jobs from American ghosts!" "Merasmus! I am going to pull a rabbit out of your ass!" "Merasmus! I will slap the magic out of your mouth!" "Merasmus! Take your voodoo back to Canada! Where it belongs!" "You wizard-ghost maggot!" "I will rip off your ghost head and crap in your stupid hat!" "I am going to kill you, Merasmus! Again!" "You are going down, you spell-casting maggot!" "Your magic is weak, wizard!" "Do not make me kill you again, Merasmus!" "I am going to haunt your ass with my foot!" "Tonight, your ass will be visited by three ghosts: my foot, my other foot, and a ghost!" "Let me give you some advice, son: Do not be a ghost!" "You are ten pounds of ghost crap in a five-pound dress!" "Son, you are a disgrace to the afterlife. You do not deserve to wear that magic dress." "I am not afraid of no ghosts! I refuse to be afraid of no ghosts!" (Reference to the Ghostbusters' theme.)

Helltower responses

Round Start

"This corpse has got to move, ladies!" "Let's move some roadkill!" "This bag of bones has a date with the devil, men! Our job is to arrange the meeting!"

Pushing the cart

"Keep this dead man moving, maggots!" "This old man will not push himself to Hell, ladies!"

Witching Hour: The bridge appears

"It's the Witching Hour!" "Get to the island!!" "Let's get to the island!"

Miscellaneous

Collected normal spell

"Mine!"

Collected rare spell

"Reporting for duty!" "I am having a heart attack!" "God Bless America!"

Reacting to rare spell

"We are in a world of magic!" (Screams) "Son of a cussing cuss word!"

Casting spells

"Caputus crepitus!" "Pactum diabolus!" "Seismela tremoro!" "Barpo kabalto!" "Barpo invisium!" "Imputum fulmenus!" "Invokum Monoculus!" "Amplus tripudio!" "Paidum celeris!" "Ipsum instantarium!" "Deus invictus!" "Mortis animataris!"

Falling in bottomless pit

(Long scream) "Damn you, Merasmuuuuus! You are the worst roommaaaaaaaaate!" [Fades]

Scared

"I am scared, you maggots!"

Item-related responses

With Freedom Feathers equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Round start

"Screaming eagle!" (Long scream) "The eagle has landed! On my head!" (Reference to a line spoken by Neil Armstrong) "I am the perfect avian killing machine!" "Eagle head charge!" "Merasmus, I hate you!"

Domination

"Dominated, candy pants! This is Soldier, by the way. I have an eagle head right now." "Dominated! By the official bird of Libby, Montana! Eagle fact, maggot!" "Dominated! By the great seal of the United States of My Head!"

Set on fire

(Scream) "My head smells delicious!" "Ow, ow! Brawk! Fire!"

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

"Brark! Brark, brark, brark, braaaaarrrrk!" "The Great Eagle Scourge returns, hippies!"

With Larval Lid equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Idle

"Pay no attention to the top of this man's head!" "Do not look at this man's head! Go about your business!" "There is nothing unusual about this man's head!" "You are all maggots!" [Quietly] "Oop, sorry, brain maggot. I forgot you were there." "We're a good team, maggot! Yes we are, Soldier!" "I love you brain maggot, never leave!" "Surrender now maggots and you will not be harmed!" [Quietly] "It's just a metaphor, brain maggot." "You are a true American, brain maggot!" "Mwahaha! You said it, brain maggot!" "What's that, brain maggot? You're starving? Yeah, I'm hungry too."

Healed by Medic

"Ahh, my brain maggot's good as new!" "That was close. Don't you die on me, brain maggot!"

Domination

"If God had wanted you to live, He would not have made me a mindless puppet of this brain maggot!" "I joined this team just to kill maggots like you. Uh, not you, brain maggot."

Set on fire

"Save yourself, brain maggot!" "Abandon head, brain maggot!"

Round start

"Let's give 'em hell, brain maggot!" "Tennnnnn-hut!" You too, brain maggot! "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH THERE'S A MAGGOT EATING MY BRAIN!" "Can one of you look at the top of my head? It feels- Do not look at this man's head. Go about your business!" "Must find damp pile of leaves for brain maggot!"

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

"You're all maggots, you scum sucking fruit baskets!" [Quietly] "No offense, brain maggot." "You sissified maggot scum have just signed your death warrants!" [Quietly] No offense, brain maggot."

With Magical Mercenary equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Round Start

"In this man's unicorn army, you clomp your hooves when a superior officer addresses you!" "I am a pretty unicorn! I'm going to trot into the forest and pick each and every one of you maggots an arrangement of flowers! They will be lovely! Am I making myself clear?!" "Men, these are the facts as I understand them: One! I am the prettiest unicorn! Two! My mane is lustrous and fragrant, and it catches the wind perfectly! Dismissed!" "Let's get one thing straight: you are all pretty unicorns, but I am the prettiest unicorn! Did I stutter?!" "I am a unicorn! There are many unicorns like me, but I am the prettiest! Sound off like you've got a horn!" "I am the prettiest unicorn! My mane smells like lavender, and my horn grants wishes! Is that understood, maggots?!" [Singing] "I don't know, but I been told: I'm a pretty unicorn!" "I am the prettiest unicorn!" "I am a unicorn, maggots!" "Sound off like you've got a horn!"

Domination

"Friendship is magic, creampuff." "This pretty pony just kicked a shiny, pink hoof up your ass!" "Salute the horn, not the man, son."

With Spellbinder's Bonnet equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Domination

"Abra Kadabra! I just made all my bullets disappear into your chest cavity." "Wanna see a magic trick? Presto, you're dead!"

With Tin Soldier set equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Firing a weapon

"Beep beep!"   "Beep boop!"   "Bleep bloop!"   "Beep-bop-boop!"     "Blarp-a-barp!"   "Beep beep boop!"   "Robot noises!"

Killing an enemy

"Bleep, bloop. Maggot!"   "Beep-bop-boop. Maggot!"   "Beep beep boop. Maggot!"   "I am a robot! I run on American jobs!"   "The natural enemy of the robot is hippies!"

After killing more than 1 enemy in 20 seconds with a primary weapon

"I am programmed to be scary."   "Hasta la vista! Feliz Navidad! Hasta gazpacho!"   (Spanish for "Goodbye! Merry Christmas! Until gazpacho!") "I run on blood! I take jobs from American vampires!"   "I am a robot! Bloop! What is love?"   "Crush! Kill! Bleep!"

Activating Battalion's Backup, Buff Banner, or Concheror

"I am a robot! I am here to take American jobs!"   "I am a robot from the future!"

Round start

"I am a robot! I am here to take American jobs!"   "I am a robot from the future!"

Domination

"I am a robot! I was built to scare you!"   "I am a robot! I am programmed to give you a sensible haircut!"   "My foot will transform into a foot - with your ass wrapped around it!"   "Scientists in the future have studied your ass for centuries - and sent me back in time to kick it!"   "Come with me if you want to live. With me. In my apartment. I need a roommate."   (Reference to a recurring line spoken in the Terminator franchise) "I will find you. That's what I do. That's all I do. There you are! Shutting down."   "I cannot be bargained with! I cannot be reasoned with! I do not know where I am! I am a robot, I don't understand anything!"   "I will never feel pity, or remorse, or fear, or comfortable - in this costume."

Revenge kill

"Beep boop, son. Beep boop."   "Today is a good day."   "Hehehyaaa!"

With Voodoo-Cursed Soldier Soul equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Idle

Also plays when as a Zombie Soldier and performing a Battle Cry voice command during Zombie Infection mode. "I have returned from the grave to give the living haircuts." "BRAAAINS!" "Brains. Haircuts. Hippies. BRAAAAAINS!" "Brains!"

Unused responses

Critical Rocket Launcher kill

"Crocket!"

Tin Soldier-related responses

"It is a full moon! I have turned into a robot again! Awoo-ooh!"   Encountering the Ghost: "Beep beep. I am scared."   "Beep boop. I am terrified."   "Oh no! That robot is a ghost!"

Dominating a Demoman

Note: These lines possibly hint at the Demoman's and the Soldier's friendship from the WAR! Update. "DOMINATED!" [Sotto voce] "Call me later, we can talk about our day."   "DOMINATED!" [Sotto voce] "Boy, I have something I want to tell you about the Engineer. Call me later, pal."   "DOMINATED!" [Sotto voce] "I cherish these moments we spend together."   "DOMINATED!" [Sotto voce] "I'm still your friend."   "DOMINATED! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" [Sotto voce] "Bye. See you soon."

Wave won

"U! S! A!" "No guts, no glory, robots!" "I will open up your chassis and use you all as a latrine!" "Human grit always beats robot magic." "I have uploaded a boot up your metal asses!" "Never forget; always remember. Pepper fie." "All men gave some. Some men gave more than some."

Wave lost

"You call that a loss? I've crapped bigger losses than that." "Let's see them try that twice!" "Well that went pear-shaped fast!"