User:AgentBull/Sandbox

“

Du bist das kleine Mädchen, das für die wütende Dame arbeitet, die immer schreit, wenn wir kämpfen. — Der RED-Demoman zu Miss Pauling

”

Nicht spielbare Charaktere, (engl.: Non-player characters), meist abgekürzt als NPCs, sind Charaktere im Team Fortress 2-Universum, die nicht zu den neun spielbaren Klassen gehören. Sie tauchen meist im Spiel nicht auf, aber sie geben dem Spiel mehr Tiefe und einen Hintergrund zur Team Fortress 2-Storyline.

TF Industries und Zugehörige

Zepheniah Mann

Von links nach rechts: Barnabas Hale, Blutarch Mann, Zepheniah Mann, Manns Diensmädchen Elizabeth und Redmond Mann. Ein mysteriöser Mann (eventuell Gray Mann) ist ganz rechts angedeutet zu sehen. (Erst wurde die Person für Silas Mann gehalten, was jedoch später durch die rechte Hälfte des Bildes widerlegt wurde.)

Zepheniah Nieodemus Mann war ein wohlhabender Engländer, der von seinen dämlichen Söhnen Blutarch und Redmond dazu überredet wurde, große Flächen Land im Grenzgebiet Amerikas zu kaufen. Er träumte davon, das Land in eine große Kiesgrube für die Waffenproduktion zu verwandeln. Auf seiner Reise über den großen Teich zu seinen neu erworbenen Grundstücken erkrankte er an allen erdenklichen Krankheiten und als er ankam, stellter er schockiert fest, dass sein Land eine leere, nutzlose Wüste war. Schließlich hinterließ er einen letzten Willen und ein Testament auf seiner eigenen Haut, die während seiner Krankheit abgefallen war:

• An sein Dienstmädchen Elizabeth vererbte er sein Anwesen mit allen zugehörigen Pflichten, Bankkonten und Schulden, seine Tabakplantage und die Überreste seines Vermögens. Elizabeth weist eine enorme Ähnlichkeit zu Helen, der Administratorin, auf und ist höchstwahrscheinlich ihre Vorfahrin.
• An seinen Gehilfen Barnabas Hale, ein Vorfahre von Saxton Hale, übergab er die volle Kontrolle über Mann Co.
• An seine "hirnverbrannten" Söhne Blutarch und Redmond übergab er eine Partnerschaft. All sein neu erworbenes Land wurde gerecht unter ihnen aufgeteilt, sodass sie nun einen Grund hatten, sich endlos zu streiten. Blutarch und Redmond taten dies mithilfe von lebensverlängernden Maschinen bis zum Jahr 1972, wo sie von ihrem verschwundenen Bruder Gray ermordet wurden.
• Der letzte Eintrag des letzten Willens ist nicht vollständig lesbar, man erkennt nur: "Schlussendlich vererbe ich ... all mein... und gebiete dir höchste Geheimhaltung über die Aufbewahrung."
  • Auf einer anderen geheimen Seite wird die Nachricht vollständig entschlüsselt: "Schlussendlich vererbe ich der höchst vertrauenswürdigen Elizabeth all mein "Wunder"kiesvorrat, den ich mit Barnabus während einer Reise nach Terra Australis gefunden habe. Mein schwächlicher Sohn Gray ist letztes Jahr verschwunden und wollte mich dafür erpressen. Ich gebe diesen Kies dir und gebiete dir höchste Geheimhaltung über die Aufbewahrung."
• Zusätzlich zum letzten Willen ist klar, dass Zepheniahs Bruder Silas Mann ebenfalls anwesend war. Er war allerdings offenbar taatsächlich bei der Testamentsverkündung ledilich anwesend, wie ein anderes beschädigtes Foto zeigt.
• Auf einer geheimen Seite im Blog wird erwähnt, dass Zepheniah einen dritten Sohn hatte, Gray, der von einem Adler entführt wurde.
  • Auf dieser Seite wird außerdem erwähnt, dass Zepheniahs Ehefrau Bette Mann hieß.

Sein letzter Wille verflucht außerdem jeden, der in der Nähe seiner Grabstätte Waffen benutzt und will denjenigen als Geist heimsuchen. Folgerichtig erscheint der Geist von Zepheniah regelmäßig auf der Event-Version von Harvest, wo er mit seinem Gammeligen Klappzylinder begraben wurde. Jeder Spieler, der dem Geist zu nahe kommt, verfällt für einige Sekunden in einen Schockzustand, in dem er nicht springen oder angreifen kann. Er wurde erstmalig im Haunted Hallowe'en Special erwähnt, wie auch der oben erwähnte letzte Wille.

• Zepheniah Mann erschien erstmalig im Mann-Familienporträt.

• 

  Zepheniah Mann als Geist, etwa 1968

• 

  Der junge Zepheniah Mann in Mann Manor, etwa 1822.

Silas Mann

Siehe auch Pferdloser Kopfloser Reiter.

Silas Mann

“

R.I.P. SILAS MANN — Silas Manns nicht ganz korrekter Grabstein

”

Als mutmaßlicher Bruder von Zepheniah Mann ist Silas' Geschichte in der Familie sehr geheimnisvoll. Bekannt ist, dass er der Miteigentümer von Zepheniah Mann & Sons. Quarterly Concern war, der Firma, die später Mann Co. wurde. Sein Beitrag zur Firma sind Schlüssel und Namensschilder. Silas verstarb kurz nach seinem Bruder, aber der Tod war für ihn nicht das Ende. Er durchstreift nun Mann Manor als der Pferdlose Kopflose Reiter, so wie sein Bruder Zepheniah Harvest Event als Geist heimsucht. Das Porträt von Silas Mann findet man, indem man auf dem Grabstein der Scream Fortress Updateseite auf 'Silas' klickt.

• Silas Mann erschien erstmalig auf der ursprünglichen Engineer-Updateseite auf einem Zeitungsausschnitt des Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co. Quarterly Concern.

Bette Mann

Bette Mann (geborene Darling) war Zepheniah Manns Ehefrau und Mutter von Blutarch, Redmond und Gray Mann. Sie starb bei der Geburt der drei Söhne. Ihr Vater war William Darling.

• Bette Mann erschien erstmalig in Blutarchs, Redmonds und Grays Geburtsurkunde.

Blutarch und Redmond Mann

“

Ich habe eine epische Kampagne der Muße gegen das Zerstörungswerk der Zeit gestartet. Ich warte darauf, dass die Natur vollbringt, was meine Männer nicht konnten. Und trotzdem sind wir am Ende hier. Und er... will nicht... STERBEN. — Blutarch Mann über den Krieg mit seinem Bruder

”

Blutarch Mann und Redmond Mann waren zwei von Zepheniah Manns Drillingen. Sie waren die Besitzer von BLU und RED. Die zwei Söhne lieferten sich einen lebenslangen Streit um die Kontrolle der riesigen Ländereien ihres verstorbenen Vaters. Nach dessen Tod heuerten Blutarch und Redmond jeweils neun Söldner an, um den verfeindeten Bruder zu vernichten und sein Land zu übernehmen. Da ihre Kräfte ausgeglichen waren, wurde die Lage zu einer langwierigen Pattsituation, die Blutarch und später auch Redmond Mann dazu verleitete, Radigan Conagher mit dem Bau einer lebensverlängernden Maschine zu beauftragen, um den jeweils anderen zu überleben. Radigan baute für beide die gleiche Maschine, sodass ihre Feindschaft bis zum Jahr 1968 andauerte. Um 1972 wurden Blutarch und Redmond ausgetrickst und zu einem Treffen gebracht, wo sie schnell beschließen, dass einer von ihnen geschwängert werden sollte, um einen Erben zu gebären. Dann taucht Gray Mann auf, der sich als lange verlorener Bruder offenbart und sie beide umbringt, um ihre Firmen zu übernehmen.

• Blutarch und Redmond Mann erschienen erstmalig im Mann-Familienporträt.
• In "Blood Brothers" wird der Grund für die Feindschaft der beiden offenbart; sie dachten, dass man aus dem Kies der "Gravel Pits" eine Energiequelle ähnlich wie Kohle machen könnte, die sie beide für sich haben wollten.

• 

  Blutarch Mann, etwa 1960

• 

  Redmond Mann in seinem Anwesen, etwa 1968.

• 

  Blutarch Mann, etwa 1850

• 

  Redmond Mann, etwa 1850

• 

  Blutarch Mann, etwa 1972

• 

  Redmond Mann, etwa 1972

Sonstiges

• Eine Silhouette von Redmond sitzt in einem Stuhl vor einer Maschine (vermutlich die lebensverlängernde Maschine von Radigan) in einem unerreichbaren Teil des RED-Spawnraums in Mann Manor. Wenn man mit noclip in den Raum geht, sieht man, dass nur die von außen sichtbaren Teile, sein Arm und sein Kopf, modelliert wurden.
  • Im Raum mit Punkt C in Mann Manor kann man ein Gemälde von einem muskulösen, grinsenden Redmond finden. Neben ihm steht eine böse, koboldartige Verkörperung von Blutarch. Ein ähnliches Porträt mit ungekehrten Rollen sieht man in Blutarchs Zimmer im Loose Canon-Comic.

Gray Mann

Gray Mann

“

Meine Herren, mein Name ist Gray Mann. Ich bin Ihr Bruder. — Gray Mann stellt sich seinen Geschwistern vor.

”

Gray Mann ist Zepheniah Manns dritter Sohn. Er war der kleinste, aber auch der intelligenteste der drei Brüder. Er konnte bei seiner Geburt perfekt sprechen, war aber körperlich schwach. Angewidert von Grays Sprachfähigkeiten wollte Zepheniah ihn ersticken, doch ihm kam ein Adler zuvor, der den Jungen entführte und großzog. Nachdem er gewachsen war, tötete und verspeiste Gray den Adler und dessen Nachwuchs, um zurück in die Zivilisation zu krabbeln und sein Firmenimperium, die Gray Gravel Company, aufzubauen. Laut Zephaniah Mann versuchte Gray Mann 1849, seinen Vater zu erpressen und dessen Vorrat an "Wunder"kies zu bekommen.

1972 erschien Gray erneut und offenbarte, dass auch er über eine Lebensverlängerungsmaschine verfügte, jedoch eine effizientere und tragbare Version an seinem Rückgrat. Nachdem er seine Brüder zu einem Treffen gelockt hatte, tötete er die beiden, um ihre Firmen zu übernehmen und in die Gray Gravel Company einzugliedern. Gray erschuf eine Roboterarmee, die Mann Co.-Einrichtungen auf der ganzen Welt zerstören sollte, wie in A Fate Worse Than Chess zu sehen ist. Saxton Hale stellte die Söldner wieder ein, die von BLU und RED nach der Übernahme gefeuert wurden, um die Fabriken vor den Robotern zu beschützen.

• Gray wurde erstmalig in einer Geburtsurkunde, als Link versteckt in einem Blutklecks auf dem Banner des offiziellen TF2-Blogs, erwähnt.
• Zusätzlich wurde kurz danach eine aktualisierte Version von Zepheniah Manns letztem Willen veröffentlicht, in dem der geheime Teil über Gray Mann lesbar wurde.
• Die kleineren Zahlen auf dem Barely-Melted Capacitor lauten 07180125. In Zweiergruppen geteilt und in Buchstaben umgewandelt (A = 01, B = 02, etc) lautet die Nachricht: "GRAY".
• Er ermordet seine Brüder Blutarch und Redmond im Comic Blood Brothers.
• Er hat Züge, die dem RED und BLU Spy ähneln.
• Auf der letzten Seite des Comics Loose Canon ist auf dem Cover eines Buches über Lebensverlängerungsmaschinen eine Liste mit Leuten, denen Radigan Conagher eine Maschine gebaut hat, zu sehen. Aufgelistet sind der 17. Juli 1874 für Blutarch, der 3. August 1874 für Redmond und der 14. April (unbekanntes Jahr) für eine dritte Person, vermutlich Gray.
• Er scheint sehr viel langsamer gealtert zu sein als seine Brüder, da er noch selbstständig stehen kann und noch Haare besitzt. Dies ist eventuell seiner besseren lebensverlängernden Maschine geschuldet.
• Im Comic "The Shadow Boxers", der während des Smissmas-Updates 2012 erschien, wurde erwähnt, dass Gray Mann Besitzer von Gray Gravel Co. ist, einer Firma, für die es auf der Karte Gravel Pit ein Schild gibt.

• 

  Geburtsurkunde

Elizabeth

Elizabeth

“

Wer ich bin, geht dich nichts an. — Emilys unbekannte Verbindung

”

Elizabeth, deren Nachname derzeit unbekannt ist, war Zepheniah Manns Bedienstete. Als er starb, hinterließ er ihr den größten Teil seines Vermögens mit allen zugehörigen Pflichten, Bankkonten und Schulden. Sie ist die erste bekannte Vorfahrin von Helen, die als Administratorin für die Teams RED und BLU fungierte, und hat eine enorme Ähnlichkeit zur derzeitigen Administratorin, was auf eine Verbindung zwischen den beiden hinweist. Laut dem vollständigen letzten Willen und Testament von Zephenian Mann bekam sie den Vorrat an "Wunderkies", den er auf einer Reise nach "Terra Australis" entdeckte.

• Elizabeth erschien erstmalig im Mann-Familienporträt.

Emily?

Emily?

Im Comic Loose Canon überzeugt eine Elizabeth zum verwechseln ähnlich sehende Frau Radigan Conagher davon, eine zweite lebensverlängernde Maschine zu bauen – diesmal für Blutarchs Bruder Redmond - indem sie ihn mit Australium und dessen angeblichen Kräften besticht. Es ist nicht bekannt, wie sie einhundert Pfund dieses Elements bekam. Es wird vermutet, dass Elizabeth ihre Mutter war, wenngleich ihr Name und die Verwandschaftsbeziehung nie offiziell erwähnt wurden. Ist dies der Fall, könnte die Administratorin Helen Elizabeths Enkelin sein – die Leitung von TF Industries wird von Generation zu Generation vererbt.

• Ursprüngliche "Drucke" des Comics bezeichnen Elizabeth als 'Emily'. Dies könnte also der offiziell angedachte Name für Elizabeths Tochter sein und der Schriftsetzer hat die beiden nur verwechselt. Es ist möglich, dass Emily eine Geliebte von Redmond Mann war. Wenn auch nicht offiziell anerkannt, verfügt cp_manor_event über ein Bild von Emily als Easter egg.

Helen

Siehe Administratorin.

Der Bote der Administratorin

Der Bote der Administratorin

“

Das ist der Ort. — Der Bote der Administratorin entdeckt die Wohnung des BLU Soldiers

”

Der Bote der Administratorin ist eine geheimnisvolle Person, die von der Administratorin eingestellt wurde, um per Miniatur-Fernseher Nachrichten an die Söldner zu vermitteln. Er erschien erstmalig beim WAR!-Update, als er die Wohnung des BLU Soldiers aufsuchte und ihm über einen Fernsehbildschirm eine Mitteilung der Administratorin zukommen ließ. Er wurde engagiert, um den BLU Soldier gegen seinen Freund, den RED Demoman, aufzubringen.

Ein weiterer Bote ist in Meet the Director zu sehen, getötet von Team RED beim Versuch, Antworten aus ihm herauszuquetschen. Die Administratorin ist darüber nicht sehr erfreut, da der Bote somit den Bildschirm nicht zurückbringen könne und sie deswegen neue kaufen müsse. Es ist nicht bekannt, ob es sich um denselben Boten wie beim WAR!-Update handelt, aber die Administratorin spricht davon, dass die Söldner "noch einen Boten umgebracht hätten"; sie scheint also bereits mehrere Boten angeheuert zu haben, die immer umgebracht wurden.

• Die Administratorin erschien erstmalig im Comic zum WAR!-Update, WAR!.

Miss Pauling

Miss Pauling

“

Oh, und Mr. DeGroot? Die Arbeitgeber Ihres Freundes haben ihm dasselbe Angebot gemacht. — Miss Pauling untersucht die Feindschaft zwischen Tavish DeGroot und Jane Doe

”

Miss Pauling ist eine loyale Assistentin der Administratorin. Sie erledigt einige Aufgaben inklusive das Berichten über ungewöhnliche Hintergrundprüfungen, das Bestellen und Liefern von Waren, das Erschließen von Kommunikationswegen und Morde. Bei einer Hintergrundprüfung entdeckte sie die Freundschaft zwischen dem RED Demoman und dem BLU Soldier, wovon sie der Administratorin anschließend berichtete. Miss Pauling fügt sich aus Angst vor deren Zorn meist dem Willen ihrer Chefin, auch wenn sie nicht immer mit ihr einer Meinung ist. Auf die Frage der Administratorin, was genau Freunde täten, antwortete sie: "Äh, skaten gehen... Waffenkataloge durchstöbern... manchmal reden wir einfach nur..." Sie besteht darauf, dass die Aministratorin "nicht so schlimm sei, wenn man sie kennenlernt". Im Comic Meet the Director wird gezeigt, dass der Scout auf Miss Pauling steht.

Auf Anweisung der Administratorin hat sie persönlich einige höchstempfindliche Spezialbestellungen an Mann Co.-Waffen an den Demoman im Austausch für das Versprechen, dass er seinen Freund den Soldier tötet, geliefert.

Im December 22, 2010 Patch gab Miss Pauling jedem Besitzer von Team Fortress 2 zur Empörung der Administratorin einen Stocking Stuffer Key für die Feiertage.

Miss Pauling überprüfte auch die Interviews, die der Regisseur mit den RED-Teammitgliedern geführt hat. Auf Anweisung der Administratorin hielt sie mit dem Regisseur tief in einer Mine ein "Interview" ab, zu dem sie mit einem geladenen Big Kill, einer Shovel und einem Sack Ätzkalk des Konzentrationsgrads "Leiche" erschien.

Miss Pauling arbeitet 364 Tage im Jahr und mag Sendungen über Waffen und ruhige Nächte der Überwachung.

• Miss Pauling erschien erstmalig im WAR!-Update-Comic, WAR!.
• Miss Pauling tauchte zum zweiten Mal im Replay-Update-Comic auf, Meet the Director.
• Miss Pauling erscheint anschließend im Mann vs. Machine-Comic, A Fate Worse Than Chess.
• Miss Pauling erschien zum letzten Mal im Mecha Update-Comic, Shadow Boxers.
• Miss Pauling ist wahrscheinlich single, wie eine persönliche Anzeige im Teufort Reader-Magazin vermuten lässt.

Der Regisseur

Der Regisseur

“

Wenn Sie sich mit einem Wort beschreiben müssten, Mister Mundy, welches wäre das? Ich sag es Ihnen: "Opfer." — Der Regisseur zum Sniper

”

Der Regisseur ist ein etwas arroganter Filmemacher. Er wurde von der Administratorin engagiert und sollte die Söldner ausspionieren, damit sie die Informationen gegebenenfalls später gegen sie verwenden konnte. Er wurde in dem Glauben gelassen, dass er sie filmen würde, um den Leuten von Badlands zu zeigen, dass sie nicht nur "bewaffnete Psychopathen waren, die tagtäglich ihre Wahrzeichen in die Luft jagen".

Als die Administratorin meinte, sie hätte genug Druckmittel gegen ihre Angestellten, ließ sie Miss Pauling den Regisseur umbringen. Miss Pauling brachte ihn zu einer Mine, wo die Administratorin angeblich zwecks eines Interviews auf ihn wartete, und nahm eine Schaufel und einen Sack Ätzkalk mit. Der Verbleib des Regisseurs ist derzeit unbekannt, aber er ist höchstwahrscheinlich tot. Auf den Karten Doomsday, Coal Town und Mannworks hängen "GESUCHT"-Plakate von ihm, was diese Annahme untermauert.

• Der Regisseur erschien erstmalig im Replay-Update-Comic, Meet the Director.

Unbekannte Person

Im fast vollständigen Familienporträt kann man in der Lücke zwischen den beiden Teilen eine weitere Person erahnen. Ihr Name ist bisher unbekannt, er kann hier gesehen werden. Auf dem Bild scheint er etwas in den Armen zu halten, aber das Objekt kann nicht identifiziert werden.

• Die unbekannte Person erschien erstmalig im Mann-Familienporträt.

Barnabas Hale

Barnabas Hale, 1850.

Barnabas Hale war im 19. Jahrhundert ein amerikanischer Grenzansiedler und arbeitete für Zepheniah Mann als Gehilfe. Nachdem Bette bei der Geburt ihrer Söhne verstarb, war er der einzige, der deswegen weinte. Hale erbte später Mann Co. als Zepheniah starb. Er war ein Verwandter von Saxton Hale, wahrscheinlich sein Großvater, und hat ein ähnlich muskulines Auftreten.

• Barnabas Hale erschien erstmalig im Mann-Familienporträt.
• Barnabas tauchte später im Blood Brothers-Comic auf.

• 

  Barnabas Hale, etwa 1861

Bilious Hale

“

Keine Söldnerkriege auf dem Grundstück. — Bilious Hale lüftet sein Geheimnis, wie Mann Co. zum "sichersten Arbeitsplatz der Badlands" gewählt wurde"

”

Bilious Hale war zu Beginn des 20. Jahrunderts der Eigentümer von Coal Town, nachdem er es von Barnabas Hale geerbt hat. Während des fatalen Bergwerkeinsturzes, bei dem 14 Arbeiter umkamen, konnte er entkommen, indem er sich den Weg freiboxte, was ihm auch Bekanntheit bei der Presse einbrachte. Im März 1922 ließ er die Kohlemine und die dazugehörige Waffenfabrik nach 50-jährigem Bestehen schließen. Einer der Räume wurde als "historischer Lagerraum" beibehalten, weil die darin gelagerten Waren derzeit nicht gebraucht wurden, später aber eventuell noch genutzt werden könnten. Zu Bilious' Zeit war er einer von fünf Besitzern eines Telefons in den Vereinigten Staaten, zusammen mit Redmond & Blutarch, dem Presidenten, Alexander Graham Bell und wahrscheinlich einem Angestellten der Administratorin.

• 

  Bilious Hales Porträt

• 

  Bilious raucht nach einem harten Tag in der Kohlemine eine Zigarre

Saxton Hale

Siehe Saxton Hale.

Mr. Bidwell

Mr. Bidwell

“

Hier, Ihr Frühstücks-Steak. — Mr. Bidwell stellt seine kulinarischen Fähigkeiten unter Beweis

”

Mr. Bidwell ist einer von Saxton Hales Assistenten, zusammen mit Mr. Reddy. Seine Aufgaben umfassen beispielsweise die Zubereitung von Hales Frühstücks-Steak und die Kundenbetreuung. Bidwell ist der Macher des neuen Mann Co. Waffenkatalogs und fungiert als Kontaktperson zwischen den Herstellern verschiedener Produkte und Mann Co. Während seines ersten Erscheinens trägt Bidwell einen Schnauzbart, den er jedoch später abrasiert hat.

Saxton Hale schickte Bidwell zu Sarif Industries unter dem Vorwand, eine Partnerschaft mit ihnen einzugehen, um gemeinsam Biotechnologie zu entwickeln. Während die Vertreter von Sarif den "Vertrag" durchgingen, entkam Bidwell mit einer Kiste voll Waffen, die später von Mann Co. kopiert wurden, um das Manno-Technology-Paket zu bauen. Bidwell berichtete Hale davon in einer geheimen Nachricht, doch dieser antwortete nur, dass Bidwell solche Sachen nicht aufschreiben solle.

Bidwell und Reddy riskierten, entlassen zu werden, indem sie Probezeiten für Waffen und viele Dinge des Manniversary Updates vorschlugen. Sie stellten einige neue Hüte und Sonstige Gegenstände in einem Teil der Manniversary Updateseite vor, wurden dabei aber von Saxton Hale unterbrochen, der versuchte, einen toten Straußen zu verstecken.

Drei Tage nach dem Ende der "Gravel Wars" und dem Tod von Blutarch und Redmond Mann begleitete er in der Verkleidung eines Primatenforschers Saxton Hale, um ihn beim Kampf mit dem letzten lebenden Yeti zu filmen. Direkt vor dem Kampf wurde er von Reddy über den Angriff auf Mann Co.-Läden informiert und gibt diese Information an Saxton weiter, der im antwortet, der Gefahr bewusst zu sein. Dann filmt Bidwell Saxtons Angriff auf den Yeti, was Saxton später als Lehrvideo über Roboterkämpfe für die Söldner benutzt. Bidwell schickt die Aufnahme an Miss Pauling, die sie der restlichen Belegschaft von RED und BLU zeigt.

• Mr. Bidwell erschien erstmalig im WAR!-Update-Comic, WAR!.
• Mr. Bidwell tauchte später erneut im Mann vs. Machine-Comic, A Fate Worse Than Chess, auf.

Mr. Reddy

Mr. Reddy

“

You're now the sixth richest man in America, Mr. Hale. — Mr. Reddy putting his accounting degree to good use

”

Mr. Reddy, along with Mr. Bidwell, is one of Saxton Hale's assistants. Specifically, he is Hale's accountant and takes his calls. Under Hale's orders, Mr. Reddy sent the five richest men in America congratulatory bouquets and "You're a dead man" form letters. During his first appearance, Reddy sported a thick box car mustache, however, this was later shaved off. Upon completing the achievement Mission Accomplished in Spiral Knights, Mr. Reddy sends the player a congratulatory letter and the Spiral Sallet. He also created the Dueler, Gifting Man From Gifting Land and Philateler.

Reddy, along with Bidwell, risked being dismissed by suggesting the idea of item tryouts and much of the Manniversary Update & Sale. They showcased various new hats and Miscellaneous items in a section of the Manniversary Update and Sale page before being rudely interrupted by Saxton Hale's dilemma of hiding a dead ostrich.

Reddy later informed Bidwell of the attacks by robots on all Mann Co. facilities.

• Mr. Reddy first appeared in the WAR! Update comic, WAR!.
• Mr. Reddy is mentioned in the Mann vs. Machine comic, A Fate Worse Than Chess

Patience Meriweather

Patience Meriweather

Patience was the midwife who helped to deliver the three sons of Zepheniah Mann and his wife Bette: Redmond, Blutarch, and Gray. She also gave the news of Bette's death to Zepheniah and Barnabas Hale, who was present at the time.

• Patience Meriweather first appeared in the Mann vs. Machine comic, Blood Brothers.

Blutarch Mann's assistant

1960

1890

“

Give him a moment, dear. He's just dead. — Blutarch Mann's assistant's everyday routine.

”

Blutarch Mann's assistant is an unnamed woman who has worked for Blutarch for at least 60 years. She is shown in 1950 presenting Dell Conagher to Blutarch Mann and again in an 1890 flashback presenting Radigan Conagher to Blutarch Mann. After she calls Dell "Mister Conagher" a couple of times, he politely tells her to just call him "Dell" since "Mister Conagher" was his grandfather's name. She replies, "Yes. I remember."

• Blutarch Mann's assistant's first appearance was in the comic Loose Canon.

Groups

Australians

Australians in the 1890s.

“

Every one of mankind's innovations now comes from the lager-pickled brain of an Australian. — The Administrator's ancestor on the mustache-sporting, beer-swilling, deathray-inventing Australians

”

Once thought of as a nation of idiots, since 1850 Australians had become world leaders in technology. Every innovation, including Cloaking and teleportation, now came from the brain of a lager-loving Australian. By the 1890s, Sydney had become a city of tomorrow with flying cars, giant airships, and self-grooming mustaches. Much like their national hero, Saxton Hale, every man, woman and child in the nation of Australia (with the exception of at least three, the Sniper and his parents) sports a glorious, full mustache. An ancestor of the Administrator theorized that the nation's incredible intelligence came from a rare element, Australium. This theory seemed to prove true as the element amplified Radigan Conagher's intelligence to phenomenal levels, and also caused various Australian-related side effects including rapid mustache growth, extreme masculinity, and the primal urge to take off his shirt and grow chest hair in the shape of his homeland.

Australia chooses its king through a Kangaroo boxing match, possibly making Australia the only Kratocracy.

• Australians first appeared in the Loose Canon comic.

Mann Co. Monkeynautics

Mann Co. Monkeynautics is a group that worked on sending Monkeynaut Poopy Joe into space to fight Vladimir Bananas. The Mann Co. Monkeynautics is featured on the map Doomsday as the company with the rocket that launches Poopy Joe into space. This however fails and crashes on a nearby satellite tower.

• Mann Co. Monkeynautics first appeared on the Pyromania day one page.
• Poopy Joe is the only known Monkeynaut that works for Mann Co.

Badland Brawlers

The Demoman with a glove saying 'Badland Brawlers'.

The Badland Brawlers are a baseball team from Badlands. A Badland Brawlers badge is shown on the Scout's Whoopee Cap.

• The Badland Brawlers were first mentioned in the WAR! Update comic, WAR!.

BLU team (original)

BLU team, 1850s

“

...I assembled a team of the world's deadliest mercenaries to take it all by force. What I did not expect was that my idiot brother would do the same. — Blutarch Mann on the original BLU team

”

The original BLU team was assembled by Blutarch Mann in the 1850s in an attempt to claim all of the land bequeathed to him and his brother, Redmond, by their father. Unfortunately for Blutarch, it appears that the original RED team was assembled at the same time, leaving both siblings at a stalemate. The original team consisted of the same nine classes as the current organization. The Scout, inspired by Billy the Kid, took on the appearance of a young cowboy, complete with spurred boots. The Soldier, who resembles Stonewall Jackson, dressed like a member of the Confederate States Army, utilizing a rifle, rather than a Rocket Launcher. In keeping with tradition, the Demoman, inspired by Alfred Nobel, was a one-eyed dynamite-loving prospector. Unlike his modern Russian counterpart, the Heavy resembled John Henry, preferring to put his enemies out of commission with a monstrous sledgehammer, whilst the Sniper, like Davy Crockett, partnered his trusty rifle with a coonskin cap. Prior to his appointment as President of the United States, the Pyro, Abraham Lincoln, used an experimental Flamethrower to aid his comrades in battle. BLU team's Medic, Sigmund Freud, appeared to retain his contemporary's love of the Bonesaw, whilst the team's Engineer, who resembles Nikola Tesla, was forced to make do with a satchel of Blueprints, rather than a PDA. Finally, the Spy eschewed a balaclava in favor of a domino-mask and equally-sinister moustache in the style of Fu Manchu.

The members of Redmond's original counterpart team are unknown.

• The original BLU team first appeared in the Loose Canon comic.

RED and BLU family members

BLU Scout's mother

BLU Scout's mother

“

BLU Scout: "What're you? President of his fan-club?" BLU Spy: "No... that would be your mother!" — The "BLU Scout" and the BLU Spy discuss the RED Spy's sexual liasions

”

The BLU Scout's mother is briefly mentioned and shown in Meet the Spy. She also appears in the beginning of the Second Annual Saxxy Awards trailer, where her arm can be seen and she can be heard screaming while she runs away. She raised the Scout and his seven "mad-dog" brothers in south Boston, and somehow still managed to keep her figure. She is in a romantic relationship with the RED Spy, who lovingly calls her "ma petit chou-fleur", which roughly means "my little cauliflower" in French. The BLU Scout was apparently shocked to learn of this relationship, though his actual feelings on the matter are unknown since he was in fact the RED Spy disguised as the BLU Scout at the time. The BLU Scout's mother wears a classic late 60s style dress and bob hairstyle. Seven compromising photos of her with the RED Spy are kept in a top secret file labeled 'Scout's Mom' in the BLU base. The Spy has a likeness of her engraved on the barrel of the Ambassador.

• The BLU Scout's mother first appearance was in Meet the Spy. She was later seen in the Second Annual Saxxy Awards trailer.

Engineer's father

The Engineer with his father.

The Engineer's father is shown in a photo with his son, Dell Conagher. Dell's father is the Engineer from the Team Fortress classic series of games, while Dell is the Engineer from Team Fortress 2.

• The Engineer's father first appeared in the Engineer Update.

Mr. & Mrs. DeGroot

Family portrait

Elderly Mrs. DeGroot

“

Yer da walked fifteen miles in the rain to blow up the Queen of England for a Nickel! — Mrs. DeGroot on the family trade

”

The Demoman's mother, Mrs. DeGroot, is a blind, elderly woman who reminisces constantly about the Demoman's late father, Mr. DeGroot. Even with her son's multi-million dollar salary and mansion, she still thinks he does not work hard enough, claiming that the Demoman's father would be spinning in his grave at his idleness and had 26 jobs. She insisted on bringing up the Demoman Scottish, and does not like to see him "squandering his gifts." She also comments: "No Demoman worth his sulfur ever had an eye in his head past thirty!"

She, along with the Demoman's father, collected the young Tavish from the Crypt Grammar School for Orphans, revealing themselves as his true parents. They explained that he was abandoned at birth until his skills manifested themselves, a longstanding, cruel, and wholly unnecessary tradition among the Highland Demolition Men.

The Demoman's mother advised her son to go searching for jobs on All Hallow's Eve, saying that all of the ghouls would vanish in one day.

• Mrs. DeGroot first appeared in the WAR! Update comic, WAR!.

Mr. & Mrs. Mundy

Mr. & Mrs. Mundy

“

I'll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it. — The Sniper on his trade

”

Mr. & Mrs. Mundy are the Sniper's parents. Being a dutiful son, the Sniper makes sure to keep in touch with his parents via phone or mail to inquire about their well-being and keep them up to date with his latest adventures and exploits. Living in the "Red House on the Left on Adelaide St. in Australia", the Sniper's parents do not approve of his occupation. The Sniper's dad is especially condemning, calling the Sniper a "crazed gunman" against the Sniper's insistence that he is an "assassin". In a bid to bring the arguments to an end, the Sniper wrote to his mom asking her to just tell his dad about how he makes more than a doctor and then finally asks her to just tell him that he is a doctor. After the Sniper was interviewed by the Director, the Sniper received mailed photographs of his parents.

Like their son, neither one of them have moustaches, a seemingly rare trait amongst Australians. Mr. & Mrs. Mundy also bear a striking resemblance to Eustace and Muriel Bagge from Courage the Cowardly Dog. The comic's illustrator later confirmed that this similarity, along with the similarities of their homes, was "very much on purpose" due to time constraints.^{[citation needed]}

• Mr. & Mrs. Mundy were first introduced in Meet the Sniper, but were not visibly seen or named until Meet the Director.

Radigan Conagher

Radigan Conagher

“

...Alright. — Radigan Conagher on making people monsters

”

The BLU Engineer's grandfather, Radigan Conagher, was hired by Blutarch Mann to build a machine to artificially allow him to live longer than his brother. He agrees to build the machine for Blutarch. Later, he is approached by a woman who bears a resemblance to that of The Administrator. She offers him Australium to build Blutarch's Machine, under the stipulation that he covertly builds an identical machine for Redmond as well. On a personal level, Radigan Conagher had a fascination for Abraham Lincoln. In the first edition of The Engineer Update, several pages of notes are dedicated to inventing an object that could have saved Lincoln from John Wilkes Booth. Some devices include: a hat that would shoot at the attacker, a chair that would swing over and under a balcony away from the attacker, and a teleporter.

Radigan goes through a drastic transformation as shown in the hidden links of the Engineer Update. He seems to have become taller, grown a mustache, developed large muscles, and has a fond thirst for beer. This matches the qualities of the stereotypical Australians in Team Fortress 2. This is probably due to his exposure to Australium. One could even say he looks like an older Saxton Hale. In the photographs displayed on the Engineer Update webpage, Conagher is also shown holding what seems to be the very first Southern Hospitality. In the final stage of his transformation, it is shown that he had replaced his left hand with a robotic arm and his chest hair had grown into the shape of Texas, similar to Saxton Hale's Australian shaped chest hair. He also appears more "Australian" than before, as a large jovial man (in contrast to his previously reserved personality) with a big, bushy mustache and carrying a barrel of BLU Streak beer, a taste shared by his grandson Dell. One of the Paint Can colors, "Radigan Conagher Brown" bears his name.

• Radigan Conagher first appeared in the Loose Canon comic.

RED Heavy's family

“

The Director: "Paint me the picture." RED Heavy: "No. This is my gun. I like to shoot this gun. Is all you need to know." — The RED Heavy when asked to speak about his childhood by the Director

”

While not much is known, the RED Heavy's family history was first discussed in the Meet the Director comic. Having been a counter-revolutionist, RED Heavy's father was killed by unknown causes. After the death of his father in autumn of 1941, the Heavy was deported to a Northern Siberian gulag along with his mother and two sisters. The Heavy and his family worked at the gulag for three months, until it was burned to the ground some time in December, 1941 and all of the prisoners had escaped. It was later found that the guards of the camp had been tortured to death. Evidently, the Heavy is still in contact with his family and uses his mercenary wages to provide for them, as shown in the comic Bombinomicon.

• The RED Heavy's family was first mentioned in the Meet the Director comic.

Historical figures

Presidents

Abraham Lincoln

Wikipedia article: Abraham Lincoln

In addition to being the nation's 16th President, Abraham Lincoln might also have been the BLU team's first Pyro when the war began in the 1850s. Abraham Lincoln is noted for his love of Arena Mode as shown in the Sniper vs Spy update. According to the WAR! Update, he was the inventor of stairs. The Engineer Update states Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by John "Tower of Hats" Booth, although the WAR! Update attributes his death to rocket-jumping up stairs. Furthermore, according to the Loose Canon comic, there were blueprints for three "life-extender machines", the last one apparently built on the day of Lincoln's death. Whether or not Abraham Lincoln is still alive is open to debate.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wikipedia article: Franklin D. Roosevelt

Franklin Delano Roosevelt, or Franklin D. Roosevelt as he is commonly called, found Abraham Lincoln's plans for stairs in 1921. Recovering from a rocket jumping accident, Franklin D. Roosevelt perfected Lincoln's plans for stairs, freeing the world from the tyranny of the second floor.

Franklin D. Roosevelt first appeared in the WAR! Update.

George Washington

Wikipedia article: George Washington

George Washington invented America, but historians agree his greatest failure was his inability to be permanently invisible. With the advent of the Cloak and Dagger, the Spy can succeed where the inventor of America failed.

George Washington first appeared in the Sniper vs Spy Update.

Other

Fred Astaire

Wikipedia article: Fred Astaire

Fred Astaire

Fred Astaire, born Frederick Austerlitz, was an American film and Broadway stage dancer, choreographer, singer, and actor. His stage and subsequent film career spanned a total of 76 years, during which he made 31 musical films. He was particularly susceptible to projectile weapons fire.

• Fred Astaire first appeared in the WAR! Update.

John Wilkes Booth

Wikipedia article: John Wilkes Booth

John Booth

John "Tower of Hats" Booth was the assassin of beloved president Abraham Lincoln. His last known photograph depicts him wearing his eponymous tower of hats. A wanted poster of him was published after the assassination, including an altered photograph depicting what he may look like after adding Abraham Lincoln's fearsome hat to said tower. Booth was later killed in a fearsome shootout between him and Bilious Hale and a large group of people. Booth was bravely held down by Bilious Hale as people took turns shooting him. After his death, Bilious Hale was awarded his hat tower for his bravery and service.

• John "Tower of Hats" Booth first appeared in the Engineer Update.

Sun Tzu

Wikipedia article: Sun Tzu

Sun Tzu (simplified Chinese: 孙武; traditional Chinese: 孫武) was an ancient Chinese tactician and philosopher who wrote a book called The Art of War, detailing innovative Chinese strategy in warfare. He gained fame for his remarkable strategies and many policies on warfare, particularly in the West. His work continues to influence warfare and politics today.

Sun Tzu is mentioned in the Meet the Soldier short. While talking to his collection of heads, the Soldier claims that Sun Tzu "invented fighting, and then perfected it so that no man could best him in the ring of honour."

The Soldier asks the Director if Sun Tzu ever wrote any books on punching through a man's ribcage. When the Director gives a negative answer, the Soldier is clearly disappointed and resolves to stop threatening his local bookstore.

• Sun Tzu was first mentioned in Meet the Soldier.

William Prescott

Wikipedia article: William Prescott

William Prescott was a Revolutionary War general who notably led the Battle of Bunker Hill and won. He loved hats, and reportedly said at that battle: "Don't fire till you see the tops of their heads". True to his word, he only fired at enemies who were poor and possessed no hats.

• William Prescott was first mentioned in the Classless Update.

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin

Wikipedia article: Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin

“

...that stalled the moon landing by three years when Buzz Aldrin suplexed Neil Armstrong into a pile of folding chairs at Astromania '69! — Pyromania Day One Page on the spirit of competitive enterprise

”

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were two American astronauts who stalled the moon landing by 3 years during Astromania '69.

• Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were first mentioned on the Pyromania Update's Day One page.

Aleister Crowley

Wikipedia article: Aleister Crowley

Aleister Crowley was an English occultist responsible for cursing scenic Skull Island during a speedboat cursing tour.

• Aleister Crowley was first mentioned in a hidden page on the Team Fortress 2 blog.

Other individuals

Apple Store manager

Saxton sees the unknown manager.

“

Let me see your manager. — Saxton Hale on blowing up the moon with Apple's latest product

”

The Apple Store manager is the manager of the Apple store located on the outskirts of Dustbowl, and presumably the employer of Trent and Jessica.

When Saxton Hale wants to buy out the company, he denied the request with the words "No sale, Hale!" Hale immediately recognizes him and insults him, saying the store 'had his curvy stink all over it'. He is presumably one of Hale's long time rivals.

• The manager appears to be a reference to Apple founder Steve Jobs.
• The Apple Store manager first appeared in the non-canon Mac Update comic, A Visual History.

Archibald and Julius

Archibald (left) Julius (right)

“

Truly it is a Smissmas Miracle for the poor bombless unfortunates of Teufort! — Julius overjoyed at the great gift he and Archibald received.

”

Archibald and Julius are the proprietors of the Bombs for the Poor not-for-profit charity. They find a Payload cart delivered to their rail-stoop and declare it a Smissmas miracle before they embrace in celebration. Both are completely fictitious characters, invented by the Scout and Soldier as an alibi while on trial for blowing up a Mall Santa training facility.

• Their bowler hats, moustaches, and color-coded suits resemble Blutarch and Redmond Mann in the 1890s

Archimedes

For the soundtrack, see Archimedes (Soundtrack), for the miscellaneous item, see Archimedes.

A bloodied Archimedes, among the Medic's other doves.

Archimedes is one of the Medic's pet doves. Making his first appearence in Meet the Medic, Archimedes has an eerie habit of getting in the way of most procedures, including wallowing in the innards of the Heavy. Archimedes is last heard cooing from inside the Scout's chest cavity after his surgery leaves the curious bird stuck inside. Archimedes will sometimes fly out of a gibbed Scout during regular gameplay.

Archimedes would later make a cameo in the beginning of the Blood Brothers comic. He also appears in the Mann vs. Machine trailer. He is now an in-game item that can be equipped by the Medic. He can also be ordered as a plush on the Valve website which also awards a code that can be used to get a Genuine version of the in-game item.

Bob Cratchit & Scrooge

Bob Cratchit, a "kindly community map maker", and Scrooge, a "billionare hat magnate", are characters in a Christmas play.

• Bob Cratchit & Scrooge were first mentioned in the Australian Christmas update.

Captain Dan

Captain Dan's Army Surplus Soup

Captain Dan is a local soup manufacturer. After a massive soup recall, he generously volunteered in disposing the rancid product, and a relieved President awarded him the Key to the City and a License to Kill. The Soldier is a fan of his brand of tomato soup. Captain Dan's name is also on the sticker of the Cheese Wheel.

• Captain Dan was first mentioned in the WAR! Update.

• His soup now appears as one of the miscellaneous items in the Pyromania Update for the Soldier under the name The Captain's Cocktails.

• In the 87th page of the Teufort Reader, it is noted that one product of Captain Dan is Sour Cream and Mayonnaise packets.

Charles Darling

Charles Darling

“

A hunter needs his trophies, Saxton. You of all people should understand that. You were my best student, once. Before you gave it all up, for her. — Charles Darling on hunting

”

Charles Darling is the former hunting mentor of Mann Co. owner Saxton Hale. Formerly a hunter, Darling decided to give up a life of savagery for a more comfortable one of zoo-keeping. His and Hale's falling-out appeared to occur following Saxton's decision to abandon his training for 'her'. He is currently the owner and proprietor of Darling Zoos, with a collection of animals that includes such rare species as pygmy rabbits, quaggas, Tasmanian wolves, dodos, giraffes, and sea cows. He is thought to be based off of the famed evolutionist Charles Darwin.

• Charles Darling first appeared in Bidwell's Big Plan.

Francis the Talking France

Francis the Talking France

“

They sound complicated enough that Valve decided they had no business judging cinéma. — Francis the Talking France on French vocabulary

”

Francis the Talking France is a sentient manifestation of France with an apparent knowledge of cinema. He claims to be the inventor of the French terms "Mise en scene! Auteur! Avante-garde! Montage! Even cinéma!". Valve put him in charge of judging all the Saxxy entries, but realizing that the job would be too big even for himself, he opened the voting to the public.

• Francis the Talking France first appeared on the website Old Man Murray, co-written by Valve writer Erik Wolpaw.
• The character appeared on the TF2 Official Blog on the 20th of May.
• Francis is actually a mirror image of France, with its west in the east and vice versa.
• A child dresses as Francis for Halloween in the Bombinomicon comic.

Fedris the Enchanter

Fedris the Enchanter is a wizard of some renown that spoke at Wizardcon MCLVI, along side Merasmus the Magician, about whether big heads are wizardry or witchcraft.

• Fedris the Enchanter was first mentioned in a hidden page on the Team Fortress 2 blog.

Gentle Manne of Leisure, his Companione, and Smelly Unfortunate

“

A-ha-ha! You are as PRESUMPTUOUS as you are POOR and IRISH. Tarnish notte the majesty of my TOWER of HATS. — The Gentle Manne of Leisure commenting to Smelly Unfortunate

”

The Gentle Manne of Leisure is a Victorian Englishman who was rich enough to buy a tower of hats. He traveled the streets of a Victorian English city with his Companione, informing Smelly Unfortunate that the latter was presumptuous, poor, and Irish. The Gentle Manne of Leisure wore a tuxedo, carried a cane, and was never seen without his most prized possession – his tower of hats. It is possible that he is referred to as "Sinclaire" by his Companione as they spectate their 'Hatless Commoners' boxing.^{[citation needed]} Also, the quotation above is used as the description for the Towering Pillar of Hats.

• The Gentle Manne of Leisure was first shown in the Classless Update.
• He, his Companione, and Smelly Unfortunate can be found in the June 1814 edition of Gentle Manne's Monthly.

• Gentle Manne of Leisure and Smelly Unfortunate are also in the list of random bot names.

• 

  The Gentle Manne of Leisure and his Companione

• 

  Smelly Unfortunate

The Judge

The Judge

“

I hereby sentence all three of you imbeciles to community service. — The Judge laying down the law

”

The Judge presided over the trial of the Scout and Spy after they blew up a Mall Santa training facility with a bomb cart, with the Soldier as their attorney. After chewing out the Scout for his ridiculous alibi involving a "Bombs for the Poor" charity, he convinces the Scout to rat out the Soldier as the mastermind and sentences all three to community service at a Mall Santa booth.

Kicasso

Self-portrait of Kicasso

“

Say, uh... That ain't an original Kicasso, is it? — Dell Conagher on Blutarch Mann's choice in art

”

A painter whose work is on display in the lobby of BLU's headquarters, and is recognized by Dell Conagher. At one point, he went through a "Hunted in the Jungle" period of artwork. The character is most likely a play on the name of the famous artist, Picasso. The artwork is a parody adaptation of Picasso's 'Self-portrait with Cloak', painted during his "blue period", which is a humorous reference within itself considering that the Kicasso is a part of Blutarch's Mansion.

• Kicasso first appeared in the Loose Canon comic.

Little Jack

Little Jack

“

An' I wanna Action Saxton, and a Action Saxton Hippie-Drome Battle Arena, an' a Poopy Joe Rescue Rocket, an' I wanna... — Little Jack on his Smissmas list

”

Little Jack is a young boy who first encounters the mercenaries while they are doing community service work at the Teufort Mall. After asking Santa (the BLU Soldier) for various Saxton Hale toys, the Soldier decides that what he really needs for Christmas is a sensible haircut. He is then thrilled to watch his father and the Soldier fight each other, right before Old Nick bursts in, announcing his intent to kidnap the children of Teufort to work in his factory. Frightened, he turns to the BLU Spy, who breaks off an icicle and hands it to the boy and instructs him on what to do. After being beaten by the BLU Scout and Soldier, Old Nick grabs little Jack, who drives the icicle into Old Nick's neck, killing him. Little Jack is last seen sitting next to the Spy, reminiscing about the earlier event. He sits atop the Spy's shoulders for a front-page photograph on the Teufort Times.

Merasmus the Magician

See Merasmus.

The Park Warden

The park warden.

“

You're scaring ostriches on the premises? That's a hefty fine, ma'am. — The Park Warden to Merasmus

”

The Park Warden is a female officer who mistook Merasmus for a woman. She ordered the old wizard to move away from his Castle of Eldritch Horror since it was to be used as a raccoon sanctuary. After the Soldier mistakenly called the castle "Ostrich Horror", the warden assumed that Merasmus was scaring ostriches and told him that it was a hefty fine.

Nicholas Crowder

Nicholas Crowder, now known as "Old Nick".

“

The nice children are given the greatest gift of all -- they are not abducted along with the naughty ones and carted off to the South Pole. — Robin Walker on the story of Old Nick

”

On December 18, 1788, a man named Nicholas Crowder was on a voyage to Australia, but upon witnessing the heat and privations he decided to turn the boat around. He instead set course to conquer the South Pole, where, according to legend, he still lives. Every December 18th, "Old Nick" (as he is now known) returns to Australia to judge whether or not the children have been naughty or nice. The nice children get the gift of not being abducted and taken to the South Pole to work in Old Nick's workshop. The bad children make hats and weapons for Old Nick, which are delivered to his mansion on December 17. Old Nick sells any duplicate weapons and hats he has received online, "practically giving them away".

During the events of A Smissmas Story, Old Nick appears at the shopping mall in Teufort to abduct children. He is then beaten up by the Scout and the Soldier. Old Nick then picks up Little Jack and claims that he will "work very hard" in his workshop. Scout warns him not to abduct the boy who stabs Old Nick in the neck with an icicle tothe point of death.

• Old Nick first appeared in the Australian Christmas update.
• Crowder rides a sleigh pulled by at least three reindeer, one of which has an eye-patch, and a Kangaroo with a red nose and wearing Prancer's Pride.

Poopy Joe

Poopy Joe, monkeynaut and hero.

“

I have no idea what you're - ooo, right. That poor monkey. — Saxton Hale takes a moment to fondly remember the pioneering primate astronaut

”

Poopy Joe was a Monkeynaut who tragically died in an explosion shortly after his rocket took off, due to a lack of Australium fuel. This was caused by Mann Co. in their unsuccessful attempt to rid themselves of weapons involved in a Senate investigation. Mann Co. took no blame for his death, and actually created commemorative plates that remembered Poopy Joe and America's dream of conquering space and Florida. These plates were actually hints of the then-upcoming WAR! Update, depicting the Eyelander, Equalizer and Buff Banner's bugle.

During the ARG leading up to Meet the Pyro, new information came to light concerning the death of Poopy Joe. According to leaked pages from Saxton Hale's Senate Hearing, Poopy Joe's rocket seems to have used a fuel source of solid australium. Saxton Hale was present at the launch facility when Poopy Joe and his rocket were prepared for launch. Hale stole the entire australium supply and replaced it with defective suitcase explosives. Once the rocket hit ignition phase, the entire bulk of suitcase bombs detonated simultaneously, causing the rocket to crash, killing Poopy Joe. Mann Co. then covered up the entire incident, denying all knowledge of it. The new Special Delivery map Doomsday has the player transport an Australium suitcase into Poopy Joe's rocket, re-enacting the piece of history. Unfortunately, the rocket crashes almost immediately to the tune of a warning bugle.

• Poopy Joe first appeared in the WAR! Update.

Salty Pete, Iron Eye, and Pepper Pot Pete

The Soldier's "friends", with their corresponding names above their heads.

Salty Pete, Iron Eye, and Pepper Pot Pete are supposedly a group of old war buddies that the Soldier goes camping/has tea parties with. They are almost instantly revealed, however, to be merely wooden cutouts who the Soldier has made up imaginary backstories for. The Soldier mentions that Salty Pete once dug a trench that inadvertently killed a lot of their own side, but this story's validity is put into question once the Soldier forgets his name, calling him 'Salsa Pete'. He also forgets Pepper Pot Pete's name, calling him Peter Pepper-Pants. By the end of the strip, he declares that the four of them will be joining the 'Space Marines'.

• Salty Pete, Iron Eye, and Pepper Pot Pete first appeared in the Dr. Grordbort's Victory Pack comic.

Shakespearicles

Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived.

Shakespearicles was the strongest writer who ever lived. He was the inventor of the two-story building, the stage play, America, and the Rocket Launcher. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip – most tragically among them, stairs.

For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them, which was rocket jumping. This persisted until 1857, when the young bearded inventor named President Abraham Lincoln invented stairs.

Valve has a large poster of Shakespearicles in their office.

• Shakespearicles first appeared in the WAR! Update.
• Shakespearicles' name and part of his backstory are based on William Shakespeare, a famous British playwright, and Heracles (herr-ə-kleez), a classic Greek hero known for his incredible strength.

Trent and Jessica

Trent and Jessica

“

...and the bullets biodegrade once they hit flesh, leaving nothing behind but a blog post. — Trent explaining Apple's advances in the Minigun market

”

Trent and Jessica are two young employees (and, according to the Soldier, hippies) who work at the Apple store located just outside Dustbowl.

They offered items for sale to the RED Scout and Heavy, specifically a very small looking, yet identical headset for the Scout, and a white, black, and blue Minigun whose bullets add kills to the user's killcount on his blog. (If the user does not have a blog, the gun is programmed to create one.) They also managed to impress the RED Soldier by instantly cooking a pig with a device plugged through a Firewire port. Jessica also explained Apple's newest product, the iBlewupthemoon, to Saxton Hale, impressing him and leading him to attempt to purchase the company and being turned down by a mysterious figure that runs the store.

• Trent and Jessica first appeared in the non-canon Mac Update comic, A Visual History.

Vladimir Bananas

Vladimir Bananas was a Soviet space chimp and the first monkey in space. America tried to follow with their own launch of Monkeynaut Poopy Joe, but that ended in a disaster where Poopy Joe was killed.

• Vladimir Bananas was first mentioned in Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl #44.

Other Valve characters

Whitaker

The advertisement depicting Whitaker wearing Ellis' Cap while showing off the frying pan.

“

RED, BLU -- your money's all green here. — Whitaker on the TF Industries War

”

Whitaker, a minor character in Left 4 Dead 2, wrote a blog update on the Official Team Fortress 2 Blog advertising the promotional Ellis' Cap and Frying Pan one can get from purchasing or previously owning Left 4 Dead 2. Based on his opening paragraph, he is southern like the other Left 4 Dead 2 characters. It seems he is neutral towards the RED and BLU corporations' feud, and also seems to know little-to-nothing about TF Industries other than "what he is told". It also appears that his existence is outside of Team Fortress 2's canonical storyline as he refers to the war as an "infernal game called Team Fortress 2". However, this can be countered by the fact that he seems to be addressing the RED and BLU team members in the blog. Within Left 4 Dead 2, he is voiced by Dayton Callie.

• This character has only been seen once in this TF2 Official Website blog post as of yet, and may be non-canon. For more information unrelated to Team Fortress 2, refer here.

See also

• Comics
• Storyline
• Mann vs Machine

External links

• The Administrator
• Loose Canon
• WAR!
• The Gentle Manne of Leisure
• The last will and testament of Zepheniah Mann
• Mann family portrait
• The original BLU team
• The Australians and Australium
• Extended Mann family portrait