Fancy vs. Nasty Update

The Fancy vs. Nasty Update is an unofficial fan update created by Mister Royzo. It has been mentioned by the TF2 Official Blog.

The Australian Christmas update brought most of the items (some having been altered) into the game officially, with other items being added into the game with the Replay Update.

Story, Day One

The Spy receives the Administrator's letter.

The RED team receives a letter from the Administrator:

“

Dear RED Mercenaries Congratulations. For the first time in this disastrous chain of misfortune I call your 'employment' there's actually been success. The past few weeks you have been especially victorious and I feel compelled to motivate this kind of behavior. I've prepared a dinner party for all of you in a fancy restaurant I regularly enjoy called "L'Appétit", though I highly doubt the likes of you ever go there. Since this will be the first time you're going to an actual grown-up event I'll inform you of the etiquette that's involved: Don't take weaponry with you, don't yell, don't murder, don't talk about your job and I better not see your military-cut scalp. Provided you don't develop hair as impossibly fast as my dog seems to that means you'll have to get fancy headgear before you join us. See to it that you do. Don't disappoint me. — The Administrator

”

The Soldier responds with a letter to his team.

The BLU team doesn't take kindly to this revelation, and the Soldier responds to this by writing a letter to his own team.

“

Dear Co-workers Listen up Ladies! As if our failure streak isn't bad enough already, a little birdy told me that those dress-wearing RED pansies are being rewarded for their obvious cheating! Not surprisingly they're playing dress-up with hats for a nancy pantsy tea-party in L'Appétit! How about we rough up their tea-time a little? Have our own kind of party, BLU style! Get your nastiest, most brutal weapon of choice and meet me at the back of this French-named circus! If you're too much of a pansy for close-quarter combat you should just stay home and read your girl magazines. — The Soldier

”

Day Two

The RED Spy, Pyro, and Heavy are seen walking into L'Appétit wearing their new hats. For the Pyro, it's the Madame Dixie, for the Heavy, the Coupe D'isaster, and for the Spy, the Détective Noir.

Meanwhile, around the back of the restaurant, the BLU Medic and Demoman are waiting anxiously and wielding their new weapons. For the Medic, it's the Krankensage, and for the Demoman, a tongue-twisting Claidheamohmor.

Madame Dixie

The Madame Dixie is a downloadable headwear model replacement for the Pyro. It is a purple tea hat with pink roses on the front and is supposedly modeled after retro ladies' flower-decked headwear from the time period of the game's setting. Historically, tea hats were worn by women, hinting at the fact that the Pyro's gender is ambiguous and widely speculated to be female.

Can be downloaded to replace the models of the: Ghastly Gibus, Pyro's Beanie, Brigade Helm, Respectless Rubber Glove, or Triboniophorus Tyrannus.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update.

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Coupe D'isaster

The Coupe D'Isaster is a downloadable headwear model replacement for the Heavy. It is a badly done black toupee.

Can be downloaded to replace the models of the: Ghastly Gibus, Football Helmet, Officer's Ushanka, Tough Guy's Toque, or Hound Dog.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update.

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Détective Noir

The Détective Noir is a downloadable headwear model replacement for the Spy. It is a stereotypical 1930s detective hat. Team colored versions are included in the download.

Can be downloaded to replace the models of the: Ghastly Gibus, Fancy Fedora, Backbiter's Billycock, or Magistrate's Mullet.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update.

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Krankensage

The Krankensage is a downloadable weapon model replacement for the Medic's Ubersaw. It is a more threatening looking version of the Medic's default Bonesaw with bigger teeth along the blade, but includes an ÜberCharge meter like its unlockable counterpart, the Ubersaw (unlike the Ubersaw, the meter is jiggleboned). It also has a black handle and a knob.

Can be downloaded to replace the model of the: Übersaw.

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Claidheamohmor

The Claidheamohmor is a downloadable weapon model replacement for the Demoman's Eyelander. It has a crossguard with side rings, a red and green w:tartan wrapped around the grip, and a blood-spattered blade.

Although its name is in the Gaelic form of Claymore, it appears to be more closely modeled after a Swiss or German Zweihänder, with parrierhaken guards above the ricasso.

Can be downloaded to replace the model of the: Eyelander.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update, and its name changed to Claidheamh Mòr in the December 21, 2010 Patch.

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Day Three

The RED Sniper, Medic, and Soldier are all sitting around a table with their new headwear, awaiting their nourishment. The Sniper, with his Crocleather Slouch, and the Medic, with his German Gonzila, look judgingly at the Soldier and his patriotic helmet, not quite understanding the dress code.

The BLU Pyro and Soldier are in the kitchen wielding their weapons, the Frying Pan for the Soldier and the Back Scratcher for the Pyro.

Patriot

The Patriot is a headwear model replacement for the Soldier. It is a smooth motorcycle helmet with a dark visor and is painted with a blue section with white stars on the top and red and white stripes along the side. The picture as seen on the website was established by envmap work done by NeoDement.

Can be downloaded to replace the models of the: Ghastly Gibus, Stainless Pot, Tyrant's Helm, or Killer's Kabuto.

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German Gonzila

The German Gonzila is a headwear model replacement for the Medic. It is a hybrid of the Spy's Backbiter's Billycock and the Medic's Vintage Tyrolean, but with grayish-black colors.

Can be downloaded to replace the models of the: Ghastly Gibus, Prussian Pickelhaube, Vintage Tyrolean, or Otolaryngologist's Mirror.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update.

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Crocleather Slouch

The Crocleather Slouch is a headwear model replacement for the Sniper. It is a light tan slouch hat with a ring of crocodile leather.

Can be downloaded to replace the models of the: Ghastly Gibus, Master's Yellow Belt, Professional's Panama, or Shooter's Sola Topi.

This item was made official in the Replay Update.

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Frying Pan

The Frying Pan is a downloadable weapon model replacement for the Soldier's Equalizer. It has a big dent with a bloodstain on it.

Can be downloaded to replace the model of the: Equalizer.

An updated version that replaces the official Frying Pan weapon was released in TF2 Emporium XXIV.

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Back Scratcher

The Back Scratcher is a downloadable weapon replacement for the Pyro's Axtinguisher. It is a gardening rake with a wooden handle and a green metal head with bloodstains on the teeth.

Can be downloaded to replace the model of the: Axtinguisher.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update.

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Day Four

The brawl inside L'Appétit begins as the RED Scout, with his Flipped Trilby, the Demoman, fitted with his Celtic Crown, and the Engineer, wearing his Buckaroo's Hat, confront the BLU Heavy, who is wielding his Fists of Steel, and the BLU Scout, who is swinging his Boston Basher.

Celtic Crown

The Celtic Crown is a headwear model replacement for the Demoman. It is styled after the crowns of the kings of Middle Age Scotland.

Can be downloaded to replace the models of the: Ghastly Gibus, Demoman's Fro, Glengarry Bonnet, Scotsman's Stove Pipe, or Hustler's Hallmark.

A similar item, known as the Class Crown, was released in the Scream Fortress 2016 update.

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Flipped Trilby

The Flipped Trilby is a headwear model replacement for the Scout. It is a trilby hat with the rim pushed downward. It may refer to the Scout's rebellious teenage nature.

Can be downloaded to replace the models of the: Ghastly Gibus, Bonk Helm, Ye Olde Baker Boy, or Troublemaker's Tossle Cap.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update.

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Buckaroo's Hat

The Buckaroo's Hat is a headwear model replacement for the Engineer. It is a black cowboy hat similar to the Texas Ten Gallon, but with a smaller brim and a white band around the center.

Can be downloaded to replace the models of the: Ghastly Gibus, Texas Ten Gallon, Engineer's Cap, or Hotrod.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update.

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Fists of Steel

The Fists of Steel are a downloadable replacement for the Heavy's Killing Gloves of Boxing, with the inclusion of new sound effects. They appear as a pair of large robotic gauntlets. They reference the Heavy's "My Fists, they are made of steel" voice line.

An updated version that adds the Gloves of Running Urgently skin was released in TF2 Emporium XXIV.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update.

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Boston Basher

The Boston Basher is a weapon model replacement for the Scout's Sandman. The skin only replaces the bat. It is a bloodstained wooden club covered with spikes and reinforced with metal rings.

Can be download to replace the model of the: Sandman.

This item was made official in the Australian Christmas update.

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Steam avatars

• 

  The Scout

• 

  The Soldier

• 

  The Pyro

• 

  The Demoman

• 

  The Heavy

• 

  The Engineer

• 

  The Medic

• 

  The Sniper

• 

  The Spy

Trivia

• The image of the Soldier's letter reads quite differently than the text shown in the update:

“

I hope the TF2 community won't be able to read this because I'm dedicated to writing silly things here. Then again, who looks for easter eggs in an unofficial community update. Oh lord this text will show up even bigger. Let's hope they don't have that fancy CSI software people sh[ink spot] to have on TV. Or paint for that matter. Or a magnifying glass. Oh will they be disappointed when they actually find out what's written here. They must have thought it was the [release?] date for Episode 3 & they actually went to get the CSI software, Oh dear. Did I just delay some- thing? I hope not. Speaking of future Valve [titles?], I wonder what Portal 2's like. It's rumoured to be showcased at the next E3. I hope so, last E3 was rather disappointing in the Valve area. Oh well. Oh dear, will this wall of text match up to the one on the website? Maybe I should see. Signed, — The Soldier

”

External links

• Fancy vs. Nasty Update page. Archived from the original