Expiration Date

Expiration Date
Video Info
Released:	June 17, 2014
Run time:	14:58

Plot summary

As the guys return from a mission to capture a briefcase, Miss Pauling calls them to ask how the mission went. She is slightly peeved that they left witnesses that she has to take care of for them. Scout tries to talk to her, but all he manages to say is nothing but silence.

When they arrive back at the base they hear bad news from Engineer and Medic: the use of teleporters is causing tumors. The bread that they have experimented on shows large green blobs inside of it. They estimate that each team member has about three days left to live. Engineer provides each team member with a death wrist watch.

In face of this news, Spy decides to collect a bucket list in a literal bucket. Spy delegated the task of collecting wishes to Scout who filled it with insults towards Spy.

Afterwards, Scout comes to Spy's room to apologize and seek his help. Scout admits to Spy that while he himself is good with girls, he is vastly outclassed by Spy when it comes to ladies. He confines that he did have a real wish for the bucket list: a date with Miss Pauling

Spy agrees to coach Scout in how to behave around a lady. While Scout shows some progress, Spy ultimately declares Scout a failure.

With little time left on his death watch Scout decides to take things into his own hands. He calls Miss Pauling to the base by pressing the alarm button for the briefcase being stolen. She quickly discovers that the briefcase is secure.

Meanwhile Medic and Engineer has come to the conclusion that only bread is affected by the tumor growth and that the team is fine as long as no more bread has been teleported; Soldier then announces that he has been doing just that for the past three days.

As Miss Pauling is just about to lecture Scout for crank calling a bread monster shows up. A fight breaks out and she attempts to blow up the monster by using a payload cart.

Miss Pauling and Scout eventually ends up eaten by the bread monster. Miss Pauling admits that the experience was exciting. Scout tells her about the death prognosis just as the two are helped out of the remains of the bread monster. They are informed of the fact that only bread mutates and that they will all be fine.

The story ends with Scout trying to get another date, but Miss Pauling having to decline due to already having spent her one day of vacation this year. She does, however, offer Scout to come along at work. He, however, declines each task she lists until she comes to the task of punishing the guy who crank called the briefcase alarm.

Notes

• Ashly Burch, the voice of Miss Pauling, also helped write some of the short.
• At 12:25, Soldier's voice sounds different from his usual voice, this is because he was voiced by Nolan North instead of Rick May for that scene.
• This is the first of four shorts made by Valve to promote The Love and War Update.