Non-player characters

“

You're that wee lass, works with the angry lady who's always screamin' at us while we fight. — The RED Demoman to Miss Pauling

”

Non-player characters, commonly abbreviated as NPCs, are characters in the Team Fortress 2 setting that are not one of the nine playable classes. While most are uninvolved in gameplay, they still add extra background to the Team Fortress 2 setting. The primary Storyline characters, Zepheniah Mann, Silas Mann, Blutarch, Redmond Mann, Gray Mann, Administrator, Miss Pauling, Merasmus, and Saxton Hale define the reasons for the battles within the game, and each have at least some appearance within the broader game system. Many other lesser characters appear only in the game Background and Storyline media, especially the Comics, supporting the expositional dialogs and the occasionally nonsensical game ambiance.

TF Industries and divisions

Mann lineage

Ebenezer Mann

Statue of Ebenezer Mann above his grave

Ebenezer Mann was a shipping magnate. He was the youngest of five sons, who all died by the time he had bought his first fleet, and grandfather to Zepheniah Mann.

Ezekiel Mann

Statue of Ezekiel Mann above his grave

Ezekiel Mann was a railroad tycoon. He was a middle child with three sisters who all died in a house fire. Before he turned 17 years old, he was already a millionaire. He is the father to Zepheniah Mann.

Other late Mann family members

In The Days Have Worn Away, Zepheniah Mann and the Administrator walk through the Mann Manor graveyard. The names of several other Mann family members can be found on the gravestones in the background:

• Algernon Mann
• Ezekiel Mann (presumably a different Ezekiel from the aforementioned Ezekiel Mann)
• Jedidiah Mann
• Horatio Mann
• Augustus Mann

Additionally, another gravestone reads "W. Mann" with another letter partially out of frame.

Zepheniah Mann

From left to right: Barnabus Hale, Blutarch Mann, Zepheniah Mann, Mann's maidservant Elizabeth, and Redmond Mann. A mysterious man is also seen just out of shot on the far right side. (First presumed to be Silas Mann, but later refuted by the right half of the portrait.)

Zepheniah Nieodemus Mann was a wealthy Englishman who was convinced by his dimwitted sons, Blutarch and Redmond, to purchase large areas of land in frontier USA. He dreamed of turning the land into large pits of gravel for weapons manufacturing. On his journey over to see his newly purchased land, he was struck with almost every illness known to man, and was shocked to find his new land was an empty and useless desert. Eventually, he left a last will and testament on his own skin, which had sloughed off his body due to illness:

• To his maidservant Elizabeth, he left his estate including all deeds, accounts, and debts, his tobacco plantation, and the remains of his fortune. Elizabeth bears a striking resemblance to Helen, the Administrator, and is very likely her ancestor.
• To his aide and tracker Barnabus Hale, ancestor of Saxton Hale, he left complete control of Mann Co.
• To his "brain defective" sons, Blutarch and Redmond, he left a partnership. All of the new land they had convinced him to buy was now to be split evenly between them, so that they would now have a reason to bicker endlessly. Blutarch and Redmond proceeded to do so by the aid of life extending machines until 1972 when they were assassinated by their long lost brother Gray.
• The final entry of his will is obscured, reading only as: "Lastly to... I leave the entirety of my... and swear you to utmost secrecy in its keeping."
  • In another secret page, the message in full is revealed as "Lastly, to most trusted Elizabeth I leave the entirety of my "miracle" gravel cache, uncovered with Barnabus during a trip to Terra Australis. My weakling son Gray resurfaced last year and has threatened to blackmail me for it. I give the gravel to you and swear you to utmost secrecy in its keeping."
• In addition to the entries within the will, it is clear that Zepheniah's brother, Silas Mann, was also present. He, however, was only revealed to have been at the event following the uncovering of another damaged photograph.
• In a secret page on the Official Team Fortress 2 Blog, it is revealed that Zepheniah had a third son, Gray, who was stolen by an eagle.
  • This page also reveals that Zepheniah's wife was named Bette Mann.

After Zepheniah signs his will, the Administrator reveals that his sons will fight forever, never giving him the worthy heir he so desired. After she whispers something into his ear, Zepheniah passes away. However, after she discovers the power of Australium's life-extending capabilities (shown to her by a young Gray Mann), she digs up Zepheniah from his grave and revives him. She keeps him trapped in a room with his eyelids kept open with hooks, forced to watch the mercenary teams hired by his sons fighting forever on monitors surrounding him. After depleting the last bit of Australium, the Administrator and Zepheniah turn to dust together after a century.

His will also leaves a curse to anyone who should use firearms near his grave, stating that he will deliver a haunting unlike any ever seen. True to his word, the ghost of Zepheniah appears periodically on the event version of Harvest Event, where he is buried wearing his Ghastly Gibus hat. Any players who stray too close will flee in fear for several seconds, unable to jump or attack. He was first mentioned in the Haunted Hallowe'en Special, as well as the above will. The ghost of Zepheniah can also be seen watching over the battle at the tower in Helltower, observing as the corpses of his murdered sons Redmond and Blutarch are escorted into Hell by the mercenaries. The ghost will briefly vanish from the tower during The Witching Hour before reappearing once the ghostly bridge disappears.

• Zepheniah Mann first appeared in the Mann family portrait.
• According to a voice line from Zepheniah in the Scream Fortress 2013 update, Gray is Zepheniah's favorite son.
• Zepheniah Mann, along with his sons, is voiced by Nolan North.
• His middle name "Nieodemus" seems to be a corruption of Nicodemus, a name of a Pharisee and saint from the New Testament.

• 

  Zepheniah Mann as a ghost, circa 1968

• 

  A young Zepheniah Mann in Mann Manor, circa 1822.

• 

  An old Zepheniah Mann, being kept alive by the Administrator, circia 1972.

Silas Mann

See also: Horseless Headless Horsemann

Silas Mann

“

R.I.P. SILAS MANN — Silas Mann's not entirely accurate gravestone

”

The presumed brother of Zepheniah Mann, Silas' history within the family is shrouded in mystery. What is known is that he was the co-owner of Zepheniah Mann & Sons. Quarterly Concern, the company that would eventually become Mann Co. His contributions to the company appear to include keys and name tags.^{[Citation needed]} Silas perished shortly after his brother, but death was not the end for him. He now roams Mann Manor as the Horseless Headless Horsemann, similarly to how Zepheniah haunts Harvest Event as a glowing blue spirit. The portrait of Silas Mann can be found by clicking the "Silas" name on the gravestone from the Scream Fortress Update page.

• Silas Mann's first mention appeared on the first day of the Engineer Update page on a clipping of the Zepheniah Mann & Sons Co. Quarterly Concern.

• Scream Fortress Update page introduced the Horseless Headless Horsemann as the restless spirit of the Silas Mann, "the long-lost member of the Mann family."

• The second half of the family portrait has a painting of younger Zepheniah and Silas together over the fireplace.

Bette Mann

Bette Mann (née Darling) was Zepheniah Mann's wife and the mother of Blutarch, Redmond, and Gray Mann. She died giving birth to her three sons. Her father was William Darling, esquire.

• Bette Mann was first mentioned in Blutarch's, Redmond's and Gray's birth certificate.

Blutarch and Redmond Mann

“

I have mounted an epic campaign of leisure against the ravages of time. Waiting for nature to do to my brother what my men could not. And yet here we are at the end. And he... won't... DIE. — Blutarch Mann discussing his war against his brother

”

.

Blutarch Mann and Redmond Mann were two of the triplet sons of Zepheniah Mann. They were the owners of BLU and RED, respectively. The two sons had been engaged in a lifelong feud with each other over the control of the vast lands left to them by their father. After Zepheniah Mann's death, both Blutarch and Redmond hired teams of nine mercenaries each in order to quickly defeat the other sibling and take control of his lands. However, as their forces were evenly matched, the situation quickly devolved into a protracted stalemate, leading Blutarch and later Redmond to look to Radigan Conagher for a life-extending machine, each hoping to outlive his sibling. Radigan made the same machine for both Redmond and Blutarch, so their feud continued, even into the year 1968. By 1972, however, Blutarch and Redmond are tricked into meeting with each other and quickly decide to declare a truce in order to get one of them pregnant to create a heir. But Gray Mann enters, revealing himself to be their long lost brother and assassinates both of them to gain control of their respective companies.

In Grave Matters, Blutarch and Redmond Mann become ghosts shortly after their deaths. The first thing Blutarch does as a ghost is gloat to his brother that he outlived him, while Redmond says he was still bleeding out when Blutarch died. After a few seconds of fighting, they go to the RED Soldier, who is working as a lawyer, for legal help in determining that status of who won their father's land. RED Soldier tells them, that since they're ghosts, they're not actually dead but caught between worlds and neither have won until one of them passes on. Blutarch and Redmond leave and find the nearest pay phone and call their secretaries from their former companies and organize the mercs in order to try and send each other to Hell.

• Blutarch and Redmond Mann first appeared in the Mann family portrait.
• A silhouette of Redmond is seen sitting in a chair faced toward a Life Extender Machinery in an inaccessible part of the Red spawn room in Redmond's mansion in Mann Manor.
• Along with their brother Gray and his daughter Olivia, Blutarch and Redmond's names follow a color-themed naming scheme (gray, olive green, blue, and red respectively). Whenever these characters are featured, their clothes match their name's color.
• In the room containing point C in Mann Manor, a painting of a muscular, grinning Redmond can be seen. Beside him stands an evil, gremlin-like representation of Blutarch. A similar portrait (in which the roles of Blutarch and Redmond are reversed) can be seen in Blutarch Mann's room in the Loose Canon comic.
• In Blood Brothers it is revealed that both brothers believe the gravel they are fighting over can be used as a source of energy.
• Like Merasmus, Blutarch and Redmond are voiced by Nolan North.

• 

  Blutarch Mann, circa 1968.

• 

  Redmond Mann in his manor, circa 1968.

• 

  Blutarch Mann, circa 1850.

• 

  Redmond Mann, circa 1850.

• 

  Blutarch Mann, 1972.

• 

  Redmond Mann, 1972.

Gray Mann

Gray Mann

“

Gentlemen. My name is Gray Mann. I am your brother. — Gray Mann

”

Gray Mann is the third son of Zepheniah Mann. The smallest of the three Mann brothers, Gray was also the most intelligent of the three. He could speak perfectly by the time he was born, but was the weakest physically. Disgusted by how he could talk, Zepheniah Mann was going to smother Gray, but before his father could do so, Gray was abducted by a wild eagle; the event taking place during the "Great Eagle Scourge of 1822". The eagle took Gray away from his family, and raised as one of its own. After being raised by his eagle abductor, Gray killed and ate her and her children before crawling back to civilization to build his corporate empire, Gray Gravel Company. According to Zepheniah Mann, in 1849, Gray Mann had threatened to blackmail him for his cache of "miracle" gravel.

In early 1972, Gray resurfaced, revealing that, like his brothers, he possessed a life-extending machine, albeit a more efficient and compact version mounted on his back. After luring them to a fake meeting using forged letters from each other offering a truce, he assassinated the Engineers operating Redmond and Blutarch's life-extending machines, then killed his twin brothers Blutarch and Redmond Mann to take control of their respective companies and absorb them into Gray Gravel Co. Gray created an army of robots to destroy Mann Co. facilities all over the world, as shown in A Fate Worse Than Chess. Saxton Hale rehired the mercenaries, who had been fired from BLU and RED after the takeover, to defend these factories from the robots.

In 1972, Gray surrendered the war to Saxton Hale, acknowledging that his war had turned into a stalemate reminiscent of the Gravel War between his brothers. However, he used the Mann Co. Challenge policy, which stated that the CEO of any company could legally seize control of Mann Co. if they beat Mann Co.'s CEO in unarmed combat, in order to pit Saxton Hale against his daughter, Olivia. Unwilling to fight a child, Saxton Hale conceded, giving up control of the company to Olivia.

Six months later, Gray's Australium-fueled Life Extender Machine began to run low. In desperation, Gray uncovered Mann Co.'s safe of Australium. He discovered it empty, and deduced that the Australium had been stolen by the Administrator after finding only a cigarette and a single brick of Australium left behind in the vault. He proceeded to hire an unknown group of individuals to find the Administrator and recover the Australium. In A Cold Day in Hell, it is revealed that Gray hired the Team Fortress Classic Mercenaries to find the Administrator. During the events of Old Wounds, Gray's Life Extender Machine is ripped apart by the TFC Heavy, leading to Gray's eventual death. Before passing away, Gray appeals to Miss Pauling and the mercs, claiming that the Administrator accumulated the Australium to enact a plot far more evil than his, and asks them to stop her.

• Gray was first mentioned in a birth certificate accessed via a link hidden in a blood stain on the banner of the TF2 Official Website.
  • Additionally, an updated version of the last will of Zepheniah Mann was released shortly after the hidden link, revealing the secret piece of the will belongs to Gray Mann.
• The smaller set of numbers along the bottom of the Barely-Melted Capacitor read 07180125. When split into four and translated into letters (A = 1, B = 2, etc), it reads "GRAY".
• At the last page of Loose Canon comic, there is a list of persons for whom Radigan Conagher built machines and dates of construction on the cover of the Life Extender Machine book. It lists the 17th of July 1894 for Blutarch, 3rd of August 1894 for Redmond and 14th of April (unknown year) for an unnamed third person. More than three Life Extender Machine have since been revealed and the third Radigan machine was not necessarily presented to Gray.
• He appears to have aged much better than his brothers, seeing as how he is still able to stand and has retained his hair. His better aging may be attributed to his more advanced life extension machine, which runs on a pure Australium core.
• In "The Shadow Boxers" comic released during the Smissmas 2012 update, it was revealed that Gray Mann owns Gray Gravel Co., a company whose logo can be seen on the Gravel Pit and Frontier maps.
• Dialogue in the Helltower Halloween map reveals that Gray is Zepheniah Mann's favorite son.
• In the official Versus Saxton Hale game mode, Gray Mann is voiced by Matthew Simmons (MegapiemanPHD).

• 

  Birth certificate

• 

  A young Gray Mann, as seen in The Days Have Worn Away.

Olivia Mann

Olivia, circa 1972

“

Hale! I haven't got all day. — Olivia's growing impatience

”

Olivia is the daughter of Gray Mann and the current CEO of Gray Gravel Co. She also became the CEO of Mann Co. after winning it from Saxton Hale by technicality using the Mann Co. rule regarding transferal of ownership by victory in unarmed combat. Hale, refusing to fight her due to her young age, made his butler Mr. Bidwell CEO, but when he also refused to fight her, Hale was forced to give Mann Co. to Olivia.

In The Days Have Worn Away, Hale has gained back control over Mann Co. However, she has a tiny desk next to Hale's own desk, where she drinks airplane bottles of alcoholic drinks. After she talks about how boring her job at Mann Co. is, Hale fires her so she can "make her own trophies" just as Hale has done. After Bidwell reminds Hale he is her legal guardian, he instructs him to set up a trust for her.

• Olivia first appears in part 1 of an ongoing 6-part comic series, Ring of Fired.
• Olivia's biological relationship to Gray is disputable, considering her age in comparison to his, suggesting that she may be adopted.
• Olivia's name appears to carry on the color-themed naming scheme of her father and uncles (Olivia = Olive green).
• Olivia is the only known currently living Mann family member.

Administrator

“

All you ever do is disappoint and betray me, cheating, stealing, friendmaking. Click to listen — The Administrator

”

Main article: Administrator

The original and regular Announcer of the Team Fortress 2 game is also the present day (circa 1960-1972) Administrator of TF Industries, also of Reliable Excavation Demolition and Builders League United, and (real) boss of the mercenaries (both teams). The Administrator has appeared or has been referred to several times in Team Fortress 2 Comics and other media. Women of similar appearance have also appeared, but at greatly different ages or times; and it is claimed by certain characters that she has been active for over a century.

• The Administrator first appeared in the Comics in War! with the Zepheniah Mann family photograph on her control panel.

Elizabeth

Main article: Elizabeth

Elizabeth was the 19^th century Zepheniah Mann's maidservant and bears a striking resemblance to the current Administrator. Upon his death in 1850, Zepheniah left her the residue of his estate as well as his "miracle gravel" cache.

• Elizabeth first appeared in the Zepheniah Mann family photograph.

Administrator's messengers

Administator's messenger

“

This is the place. — Administrator's messenger upon locating the BLU Soldier's apartment

”

The Administrator's messengers are mysterious individuals hired by the Administrator to deliver messages to the classes via miniaturized television sets worn on their torsos. A messenger was first shown locating the BLU Soldier's apartment and delivering a message to him via the television screen, broadcasting the Administrator.

Another messenger is seen in Meet the Director, killed by the RED team in an attempt to get answers out of him. The Administrator frowned upon this, on the grounds that once dead they could not return their miniature televisions, forcing her to buy more. The Administrator's statement about the mercenaries "shooting yet another messenger" suggests that there have been previous messengers and that the mercenaries have a habit of killing them.

• An Administrator's messenger first appeared in the WAR! Update comic, WAR!.
• The skeleton of another messenger can be seen leaning against the back wall on page 12 of the Scream Fortress 2014 update comic (page 12).
• More messengers are killed by the Heavy in The Showdown.

Miss Pauling

Miss Pauling in Expiration Date

Main article: Miss Pauling

Miss Pauling is a loyal assistant to the Administrator. She performs a number of duties including reporting unusual background checks, ordering and delivery of goods, opening communication channels and murders. Miss Pauling generally complies with her employer's views for fear of incurring her wrath, even if she does not necessarily agree with them.

• Ms. Pauling first appeared in the WAR! Update comic.
  • Ms. Pauling was animated for the first time in the Love & War short, Expiration Date.
    • This makes her the first NPC to be animated by Valve.
• It has been shown that the Scout has taken a romantic interest in Miss Pauling, which she tries to completely ignore.

Director

The Director

“

If you could pick one word to describe yourself, Mister Mundy, what would it be? I'm going to answer that for you: "victim." — The Director

”

The Director is a somewhat arrogant filmmaker, hired by the Administrator. The Director is responsible for the Meet the Team series, meant to spy on the mercenaries so the Administrator could use something they said against them later if need be. However, he was led to believe he was filming them to show the people of Badlands that they weren't "just armed psychopaths blowing up all their landmarks on a daily basis".

Once the Administrator believed she had gained proper leverage over her employees, she ordered Miss Pauling to assassinate the Director. Miss Pauling brought the Director out to a mine under the guise that the Administrator was waiting for her interview there, with a bag of quicklime and a shovel secretly tucked away in the bed of her truck. The Director's current status is unknown, though he is presumed to be dead after his "interview" with the Administrator. A "MISSING" poster featuring the Director can be found in Doomsday, Coal Town, Mannworks, Powerhouse, and other maps further hinting this.

• The Director first appeared in the Replay Update comic, Meet the Director.

Unknown individual

In the mostly complete family portrait, another person can be seen in between the gap of the two pieces. The name of this person is unknown and he has yet to be referenced. He can be seen here. In the portrait, he appears to be holding something in his left arm but the object can not be identified.

• The unknown individual first appeared in the Mann family portrait.

Hale lineage

Barnabus Hale

Barnabus Hale in 1850.

“

I like this cougar's PEPPER SAUCE! — Barnabus Hale fighting off an inexplicable animal attack during a wake

”

Barnabus Hale was a 19th century Australian frontiersman, employed as an aide and tracker by Zepheniah Mann. After Bette dies while giving birth, he cries at her death, apparently the only one to do so. Hale later inherited Mann Co. upon Zepheniah's death. He is a relative of Saxton Hale, as his grandfather, and shares Saxton's extremely masculine personality.

• Barnabus Hale first appeared in the Mann family portrait.
• Barnabus later appears in the comic Blood Brothers and then in Catch-Up, as well as in portraits in Coal Town and Monster Bash.

• 

  Barnabus Hale circa 1861

Bilious Hale

“

No mercenary warfare on the premises. — Bilious Hale on his secret to Mann Co. being voted "Safest workplace in the Badlands"

”

Bilious Hale is the father of Saxton Hale, and was the owner of Mann Co. during the early 1900's after inheriting it from his father, Barnabus Hale. During a fatal mineshaft collapse, which resulted in the death of fourteen workers, Bilious was able to escape by punching it open, gaining him more fame from the press. During the March of 1922, Bilious Hale shut down the coal mine and coal-powered munitions factory 50 years after it was founded. However, one of the rooms was left as a "historic storage closet" under the reasoning that the objects left in it were not presently needed, but kept for a future time for when they may be. During his lifetime, Bilious was one of the five owners of a telephone in the United States along with Redmond & Blutarch, the President, Alexander Graham Bell and presumably a predecessor of the Administrator.

• 

  Bilious Hale's portrait

• 

  Bilious smoking a cigar after a hard day's work mining coal

Saxton Hale

Saxton Hale as seen in the Jungle Inferno Update video.

“

We sell products and get in fights. — Saxton Hale's slogan

”

Main article: Saxton Hale

Saxton Hale is a daring Australian, President and CEO of Mann Co. and the star of many comics series.

• Saxton is the last of the Hale family to take over the reins of the company Mann Co.

Mr. Bidwell

Mr. Bidwell

“

Tears were brought to the eyes, sir. Your breakfast steak. — Mr. Bidwell

”

Mr. Bidwell is one of Saxton Hale's assistants, along with Mr. Reddy. His duties include serving Hale's meals and dealing with customer feedback. Bidwell is the creator of the new Mann Co. Weapons Catalogue, acting as a liaison between the manufacturers of various products and Mann Co. During his first appearance Bidwell sported a handlebar mustache; however, this was later shaved off.

Saxton Hale sent Bidwell to Sarif Industries under the pretense of discussing a partnership to jointly develop biotechnology. While Sarif's representatives were looking over the "contract", Bidwell escaped with a crate full of weapons and later reverse-engineered the stolen weaponry to produce Manno-Technology. Bidwell detailed his exploits in a confidential memo to Hale, who wrote back to Bidwell asking him to "stop writing these things down".

Bidwell, along with Reddy, risked being dismissed by suggesting the idea of item tryouts and much of the Manniversary Update & Sale. They showcased various new hats and Miscellaneous items in a section of the Manniversary Update and Sale page before being rudely interrupted by Saxton Hale's dilemma of hiding a dead ostrich.

Three days after the end of "The Gravel Wars" and the death of Blutarch and Redmond Mann, Bidwell is under disguise as a primate violence specialist with Saxton Hale, with the purpose of filming Saxton fight the last-living Yeti. Right before Saxton charges at the Yeti to fight it, Bidwell is informed by Reddy of attacks on Mann Co. stores and relays it back to Saxton, who tells Bidwell that he is very much aware of the attacks. Bidwell then films Saxton's assault on the Yeti, which Saxton uses as a video instructing the mercenaries on their new job of fighting robots and defending Mann Co. Bidwell then sends the tape back to Miss Pauling, who shows it to the remainders of the RED and BLU Teams.

• Mr. Bidwell first appeared in the WAR! Update comic, WAR!.
• Mr. Bidwell makes a bold proposal in Bidwell's Big Plan.
• Mr. Bidwell appears in disguise with Saxton in the Mann vs. Machine comic, A Fate Worse Than Chess.

Other appearances

• The non-canon comic The Contract.
• The comic Ring of Fired.
• The movie short Jungle Inferno (Saxton Hale receives a satellite phone call from him).

Mr. Reddy

Mr. Reddy

“

You're now the sixth richest man in America, Mr. Hale. — Mr. Reddy

”

Mr. Reddy, along with Mr. Bidwell, is one of Saxton Hale's assistants. Specifically, he is Hale's accountant and takes his calls. Under Hale's orders, Mr. Reddy sent the five richest men in America congratulatory bouquets and "You're a dead man" form letters. During his first appearance, Reddy sported a thick box car mustache, however, this was later shaved off. Upon completing the achievement Mission Accomplished in Spiral Knights, Mr. Reddy sends the player a congratulatory letter and the Spiral Sallet. He also created the Dueler, Gifting Man From Gifting Land and Philateler.

Reddy, along with Bidwell, risked being dismissed by suggesting the idea of item tryouts and much of the Manniversary Update & Sale. They showcased various new hats and Miscellaneous items in a section of the Manniversary Update and Sale page before being rudely interrupted by Saxton Hale's dilemma of hiding a dead ostrich.

Reddy later informed Bidwell of the attacks by robots on all Mann Co. facilities.

• Mr. Reddy first appeared in the WAR! Update comic, WAR!.
• Mr. Reddy is mentioned in the Mann vs. Machine comic, A Fate Worse Than Chess
• Like Mr. Bidwell, Reddy also makes another appearance in the comic Ring of Fired.

Patience Meriweather

Patience Meriweather, circa 1822

Patience Meriweather helped to deliver the three sons of Zepheniah Mann and his wife Bette: Redmond, Blutarch, and Gray. She also gave the news of Bette's death to Zepheniah and Barnabus Hale, who was present at the time.

• The midwife first appeared in the Mann vs. Machine comic, Blood Brothers.
• Although never called by name in Blood Brothers, her name was revealed in the Mann vs. Machine ARG on Gray Mann's birth certificate.

Miriam

1960

1890

“

Give him a moment, dear. He's just dead. — Miriam's everyday routine.

”

Miriam is a woman who has worked for Blutarch for at least 60 years. She is shown in 1960 presenting Dell Conagher to Blutarch Mann and again in an 1890 flashback presenting Radigan Conagher to Blutarch Mann. After she calls Dell "Mister Conagher" a couple of times, he politely tells her to just call him "Dell" since "Mister Conagher" was his grandfather's name. She replies, "Yes. I remember."

• Blutarch Mann's assistant's first appearance was in the comic Loose Canon.

Groups

Australians

Australians in the 1890s.

“

Every one of mankind's innovations now comes from the lager-pickled brain of an Australian. — The Administrator's ancestor on the mustache-sporting, beer-swilling, deathray-inventing Australians

”

Once thought of as a nation of idiots, since 1850, Australians had become world leaders in technology. Every innovation, including Cloaking and teleportation, now came from the brain of a lager-loving Australian. By the 1890s, Sydney had become a city of tomorrow with flying cars, giant airships, and self-grooming mustaches. Much like their national hero, Saxton Hale, every man, woman and child in the nation of Australia (with the exception of at least three, the Sniper and his adoptive parents) sports a glorious, full mustache. An ancestor of the Administrator theorized that the nation's incredible intelligence came from a rare element, Australium. This theory seemed to prove true as the element amplified Radigan Conagher's intelligence to phenomenal levels, and also caused various Australian-related side effects including rapid mustache growth, extreme masculinity, and the primal urge to take off his shirt and grow chest hair in the shape of his homeland. However, as the Australium deposits located in Australia that gave these phenomenal people such capacity declined, mainly due to the intentions of the Administrator, the once proud race are reduced to weaker simpletons. It is mentioned by Spy that the Australium mines had run dry 2 months prior to Zhanna, Soldier and Spy's success in securing a submarine.

Australia chooses its king through a Kangaroo boxing match.

• Australians first appeared in the Loose Canon comic.

Mann Co. Monkeynautics

Mann Co. Monkeynautics is a subdivision of Mann Co. that, after offering to host the launch for the price of one dollar, worked to send Monkeynaut Poopy Joe into space to fight Russian rival Vladimir Bananas, among other reasons. The Mann Co. Monkeynautics logo appears across the map Doomsday as the company hosting the event, whose rocket malfunctions and crashes into a nearby satellite tower, exploding and killing the Monkeynaut inside.

• Mann Co. Monkeynautics first appeared on the Pyromania Day One page.

Badland Brawlers

The Demoman with a Badland Brawlers foam hand.

The Badland Brawlers are a sports team from the Badlands.

• In the War!, Soldier and Demoman are WAR! fans of the team.
• The Scout's Whoopee Cap has a Badland Brawlers badge.
• In Ring of Fired, the Demoman wears a Badland Brawlers shirt.

BLU team (original)

BLU team, 1850s

“

...I assembled a team of the world's deadliest mercenaries to take it all by force. What I did not expect was that my idiot brother would do the same. — Blutarch Mann discussing his original BLU team

”

The original BLU team was assembled by Blutarch Mann in the 1850s in an attempt to claim all of the land bequeathed to him and his brother, Redmond, by their father. Unfortunately for Blutarch, it appears that the original RED team was assembled at the same time, leaving both siblings at a stalemate. The original team consisted of the same nine classes as the current organization. The Scout, inspired by Billy the Kid, took on the appearance of a young cowboy, complete with spurred boots. The Soldier, who resembles Stonewall Jackson, dressed like a member of the Confederate States Army, utilizing a rifle, rather than a Rocket Launcher. In keeping with tradition, the Demoman, inspired by Alfred Nobel, was a one-eyed dynamite-loving prospector. Unlike his modern Russian counterpart, the Heavy resembled John Henry, preferring to put his enemies out of commission with a monstrous sledgehammer, whilst the Sniper, like Davy Crockett, partnered his trusty rifle with a coonskin cap. Prior to his appointment as President of the United States, the Pyro, Abraham Lincoln, used an experimental Flame Thrower to aid his comrades in battle. BLU team's Medic, resembling Sigmund Freud, appeared to retain his contemporary's love of the Bonesaw, whilst the team's Engineer, who resembles Nikola Tesla, was forced to make do with a satchel of Blueprints, rather than a PDA. Finally, the Spy eschewed a balaclava in favor of a domino-mask and equally-sinister mustache in the style of Fu Manchu.

• The original BLU team first appeared in the Loose Canon comic.

Team Fortress Classic mercenaries

The Team Fortress Classic Mercenaries along with Bilious Hale in the 1930s

In the A Cold Day in Hell comic, the Team Fortress Classic mercenaries (minus their Medic) appear, willing to help Gray Mann find the Administrator and the current Team Fortress 2 mercenaries.

• One Team Fortress Classic mercenary first appeared in the Team Fortress Comic Ring of Fired as a shadowy silhouette of the Classic Heavy.

• The identity of the silhouette along with his team was revealed in the Cold Day in Hell comic.

• The Classic Mercenaries from the 1930s appeared in the Catch-Up Comic
  • The Classic Medic has yet to appear in any other Comic. His current whereabouts are unknown.

• The Classic Mercenaries arrived in Blood in the Water, where the Classic Sniper shot and killed the RED Sniper.

• In Old Wounds, the Classic Demoman, Spy and Pyro are all killed at the hands of the Team Fortress 2 Mercenaries while the Classic Heavy kills Gray Mann for his Life Extending Machine before draining all the blood of the TF2 Mercenaries.

• The Naked and the Dead climaxes with the final battle between the Classic Mercenaries, the Team Fortress 2 Mercenaries, Saxton Hale, Maggie and Gray Mann's remaining robots. The Classic Scout, Soldier, Sniper, and Heavy are all killed, while the Classic Engineer's status is unknown.

Hippies

Hippies protesting Mann Co.

Hippies were a 1960s and early 1970s minority subculture reputed for protesting, pacifism, and relaxed hygiene. They were particularly noted for long hair, burning "patchouli oil incense", and protesting the Vietnam War (nominally in the name of anti-violence). In Team Fortress 2, hippies are a recurring adversary for Saxton Hale and Mann Co. The Soldier makes several mentions of hippies, usually disparaging their pacifism and hair length.

• 1968: Hippies assembled mass protests outside Mann Co. Headquarters in WAR! and Bidwell's Big Plan.
• Mann Co. bought out Lecture Valley (a lampoon of hippie cooperatives and other tropes).
• 1972: Hippies pacified the last surviving Yeti in A Fate Worse Than Chess.

RED and BLU family members

Scout's mother

BLU Scout's mother

Scout's mother in his dream (top left)

“

BLU Scout: "What're you? President of his fan-club?" BLU Spy: "No... that would be your mother!" — The "BLU Scout" and the BLU Spy

”

The Scout's mother is briefly mentioned and shown in Meet the Spy when the BLU Spy reveals photographs of a tryst between RED Spy and the Scout's mother to the team's Heavy and Soldier, and the RED Spy disguised as the team's Scout. She also appears in the beginning of the Second Annual Saxxy Awards trailer, where her arm can be seen and she can be heard screaming while she runs away. She raised the Scout and his seven "mad-dog" brothers in south Boston, and somehow still managed to keep her figure. She is in a romantic relationship with the RED Spy, who lovingly calls her "ma petit chou-fleur", which roughly means "my little cauliflower" in French. The BLU Scout's mother wears a classic late 60s style dress and bob hairstyle. Seven compromising photos of her with the RED Spy are kept in a top secret file labeled 'Scout's Mom' in the BLU base. The Spy has a likeness of her engraved on the barrel of the Ambassador.

• The Scout's mother first appearance was in Meet the Spy. She was later seen in the Second Annual Saxxy Awards trailer.
• The Scout's mother appears in the comics in a dream in A Cold Day in Hell where Scout dreams she is standing alongside the Spy watching an infant Scout take his first steps.

Engineer's father

The young Engineer with his father.

"Engineer's father" appears in a photo presumed to have been found within Radigan's notes that his grandson, Dell Conagher, received from Blutarch Mann. This has been interpreted as an engineer, wearing an older style of pressed aluminum, full-brimmed hard hat, giving a boy his first pair of goggles. That boy is presumed to be a young Dell and the man to be Dell's father.

• In The Naked and the Dead, the Team Fortress Classic team's Engineer is portrayed as overweight with both his legs replaced with robotic legs and wearing a full-brimmed hard hat with a different ribbing pattern. Addressed by the TFC Heavy as "Fred", the Community has interpreted this character as Fred Conagher, Dell's Father.
• At the conclusion of The Naked and the Dead, all of the TFC team are presumed dead, killed in the fighting, except for Fred, whose fate is not shown.

Mr. & Mrs. DeGroot

Family portrait

Elderly Mrs. DeGroot

“

Yer da walked fifteen miles in the rain to blow up the Queen of England for a Nickel! — Mrs. DeGroot on the family trade

”

The Demoman's mother, Mrs. Tilly DeGroot, is a blind, elderly woman who reminisces constantly about the Demoman's late father, Mr. DeGroot. Even with her son's multi-million dollar salary and mansion, she still thinks he does not work hard enough, claiming that the Demoman's father would be spinning in his grave at his idleness and had 26 jobs. She insisted on bringing up the Demoman Scottish, and does not like to see him "squandering his gifts." She also comments: "No Demoman worth his sulfur ever had an eye in his head past thirty!"

She, along with the Demoman's father, collected the young Tavish from the Crypt Grammar School for Orphans, revealing themselves as his true parents. They explained that he was abandoned at birth until his skills manifested themselves, a longstanding, cruel, and wholly unnecessary tradition among the Highland Demolition Men.

The Demoman's mother advised her son to go searching for jobs on All Hallow's Eve, saying that all of the ghouls would vanish in one day.

• Mrs. DeGroot first appeared in the WAR! Update comic, WAR!.
• Mrs. DeGroot appears again in Ring of Fired. She chastizes the depressed Demoman and his "lazy goost-sword" for their lack of jobs. She is last seen cheering as the Demoman is rehired by Ms. Pauling.

Mr. & Mrs. Mundy

Mr. & Mrs. Mundy

“

I'll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it. — The Sniper on his trade

”

Mr. Jonathan Mundy & Mrs. Mundy are the Sniper's adoptive parents. Being a dutiful son, the Sniper makes sure to keep in touch with his parents via phone or mail to inquire about their well-being and keep them up to date with his latest adventures and exploits. Living in the "Red House on the Left on Adelaide St. in Australia", the Sniper's parents do not approve of his occupation. The Sniper's dad is especially condemning, calling the Sniper a "crazed gunman" against the Sniper's insistence that he is an "assassin". In a bid to bring the arguments to an end, the Sniper wrote to his mom asking her to just tell his dad about how he makes more than a doctor and then finally asks her to just tell him that he is a doctor. After the Sniper was interviewed by the Director, the Sniper received mailed photographs of his parents.

Like their adoptive son, neither one of them have mustaches, a seemingly rare trait amongst Australians. Mr. & Mrs. Mundy also bear a striking resemblance to Eustace and Muriel Bagge from Courage the Cowardly Dog. The comic's illustrator later confirmed that this similarity, along with the similarities of their homes, was "very much on purpose" due to time constraints.^{[citation needed]}

In the Team Fortress 2 Comic #4 Blood in the Water, Sniper reveals that his parents passed away six months prior, shortly after Gray's takeover of Mann Co., and learned that the Mundys were not his birth parents.

Mr. & Mrs. Mundy appeared in Sniper's vision of Heaven in Old Wounds. Having been killed in action in the previous issue, the Sniper expresses his wish to be reunited with his adoptive parents in the afterlife. The Mundys share his sentiments, but gently remind him that he's still a professional assassin, and that there are still enemies that need to be killed. Upon revival, the Sniper tells the Medic what happened, but the Medic claims that the vision was a hallucination as a result of injecting a blue whale's pineal gland into his brain stem, but the Sniper assures him of what awaits him and declares himself the most dangerous man alive thanks to the encouragement from his parents.

• Mr. & Mrs. Mundy were first introduced in Meet the Sniper, but were not visibly seen or named until Meet the Director.

Bill-Bel and Lar-Nah

Sniper's parents at a younger age.

“

Get the @#$% out of my rocket! — Young Bill-Bel yelling to Young Lar-Nah as she gets in the rocket

”

Bill-Bel and Lar-Nah are the Sniper's birth parents. They originate from the lost underwater country of New Zealand.

Years prior, Bill-Bel theorized that the Earth would be covered in magma, and he proposed that the country be encased in a glass dome and sunk to the bottom of the ocean to escape danger. He later proposed to New Zealand's council of leaders to send the country into space, but the council furiously rejects him, pointing out that they are now out of resources due to his original plan and all detest their underwater existence. Bill-Bel returned home, having built a rocket with which to get into space, only to get into a fight with his wife Lar-Nah over who gets to be the only occupant. In the confusion their toddler son Mun-dee (an infant Sniper) crawls into the rocket, which launches through New Zealand's protective dome, flooding the city and dooming its citizens.

Bill-Bel and Lar-Nah survive drowning by hiding out in a sealed laboratory, cut off from the rest of the world until Miss Pauling, Sniper and the other mercenaries arrive in a submarine; Lar-Nah has become a grouchy alcoholic constantly furious at her husband's idiocy. Much to Miss Pauling's horror, Bill-Bel, not understanding the metal's true potential as nuclear energy source and for life extension, used the last cache of Australium stored in New Zealand to paint his prototype escape rockets, all of which exploded save for one. Lar-Nah then offers Miss Pauling some of her wine as the latter is flabbergasted at Bill-Bel's stupidity.

Upon learning from Sniper that the Earth was not covered in magma (thereby disproving Bill-Bel's theory), Lar-Nah steals the only remaining rocket, successfully escaping into space. Likewise, Bill-Bel steals the navy submarine Miss Pauling and the team had arrived on, stranding the group in the steadily flooding ruins.

• Bill-Bel and Lar-Nah were first introduced in Blood in the Water.
• Sniper bears a striking resemblance to his mother Lar-Nah. Both have the same facial shape, structure as well as skin tone.
• Although being the biological parents of Sniper, they do not care for their son instead looking out for themselves.

• 

  Sniper's Father at his current age in the comic's story.

• 

  Sniper's mother at her current age in the comic's story.

Radigan Conagher

Radigan Conagher

“

...Alright. — Radigan Conagher on making people monsters

”

The BLU Engineer's grandfather, Radigan Conagher, was hired by Blutarch Mann to build a machine to artificially allow him to live longer than his brother. He agrees to build the machine for Blutarch. Later, he is approached by a woman who bears a resemblance to that of The Administrator. She offers him Australium to build Blutarch's Machine, under the stipulation that he covertly builds an identical machine for Redmond as well. On a personal level, Radigan Conagher had a fascination for Abraham Lincoln. In the first edition of The Engineer Update, several pages of notes are dedicated to inventing an object that could have saved Lincoln from John Wilkes Booth. Some devices include: a hat that would shoot at the attacker, a chair that would swing over and under a balcony away from the attacker, and a teleporter.

Radigan goes through a drastic transformation as shown in the hidden links of the Engineer Update. He seems to have become taller, grown a mustache, developed large muscles, and has a fond thirst for beer. This matches the qualities of the stereotypical Australians in Team Fortress 2. This is probably due to his exposure to Australium. One could even say he looks like an older Saxton Hale. In the photographs displayed on the Engineer Update webpage, Conagher is also shown holding what seems to be the very first Southern Hospitality. In the final stage of his transformation, it is shown that he had replaced his left hand with a robotic arm and his chest hair had grown into the shape of Texas, similar to Saxton Hale's Australian shaped chest hair. He also appears more "Australian" than before, as a large jovial man (in contrast to his previously reserved personality) with a big, bushy mustache and carrying a barrel of BLU Streak beer, a taste shared by his grandson Dell. One of the Paint Can colors, "Radigan Conagher Brown" bears his name.

• Radigan Conagher first appeared in the Loose Canon comic.

Heavy's family

RED Heavy embracing his mother

“

Yana: We have caught dinner! Bronislava: It is bear. Again. — The Heavy's sisters returning from a hunt

”

While not much is known of the family history of Misha/Heavy, it was first discussed in the Meet the Director comic. Heavy's father was executed in autumn of 1941 for being a counter-revolutionist, afterwhich Misha was deported to a Northern Siberian gulag along with his mother and three underage younger sisters, Zhanna, Yana, and Bronislava. The Heavy and his family worked at the gulag for three months, until it was burned to the ground some time in December 1941. It was later found that all of the prisoners had escaped and the guards of the camp had been tortured to death.

The Heavy was shown to be still in contact with his family and using his mercenary wages to provide for them in the comic Bombinomicon. In A Cold Day in Hell, the Heavy's family was shown to be living in the Siberian mountains, eating almost exclusively bear meat, where the Heavy had been protecting them from "the people who hurt [them] before." However, with the Heavy rejoining the team, his family began to move to the United States.

Yana and Bronislava are apparently attracted to some of the mercenaries, namely the Sniper and Spy. Zhanna, however, plays the biggest role in the comics compared to Heavy's other sisters; she begins a relationship with the Soldier due to her not having seen a man in twenty years, and after her rejection of the Scout because he talked too much. Her relationship with Soldier stays strong as she tags along with the mercenaries through the events of Blood in the Water, Old Wounds and The Naked and the Dead. She also begins to learn how to fight along with the Soldier, albeit through his unorthodox (and incorrect) ways - including losing her left hand after attempting to escape from a pair of handcuffs using the "old dislocating thumb trick", and fighting stark naked while covered in honey.

• The Heavy's family was first mentioned in the Meet the Director comic.
• The Heavy's family has been revealed in the "A Cold Day in Hell" comic.
• It has been implied that Zhanna and Soldier are getting married.

• 

  Bronislava in A Cold Day in Hell

• 

  Zhanna in A Cold Day in Hell

• 

  Yana in A Cold Day in Hell

Soldier's children

“

Those are the filthiest children I have ever seen. — Merasmus

”

In The Days Have Worn Away, it is revealed that the Soldier has two kids together with Zhanna; General Patton Doe and Georgia Washington Doe, named after US general George S. Patton and former US president and founding father George Washington.

• 

  General Patton Doe and Georgia Washington Doe with Zhanna.

Other main Storyline characters

Other characters with either important Storyline dialog or having recurrent appearances or mentions.

Archimedes

This section is about the non-player character. For other uses, see Archimedes (disambiguation).

A bloodied Archimedes, among the Medic's other doves.

“

Archimedes, no! It's filthy in there! — Medic in response to Archimedes frolicking in the Heavy's innards

”

Archimedes is one of the RED Medic's many white pet doves, identifiable by his permanently blood-stained feathers. Archimedes first appeared in Meet the Medic, and was shown to have a habit of burrowing into the Medic's patients; his in-game description attests to this also.

Archimedes previously worked as a wedding dove, until the Medic stole a catering van with him inside from the wedding of a prime minister.

• Archimedes can be worn as a Cosmetic pet for the Medic.
• Archimedes has made cameos on the first page of the comic Blood Brothers, in the comic Old Wounds, and the Day Two teaser picture of the Two Cities Update.
• The Team Fortress 2 Official Soundtrack song Archimedes is named after this character.
• When a Scout is gibbed there is a 1 in 20 (5%) chance a dove will spawn. This is a reference to the final scene in Meet the Medic, where at the end the Scout realizes Archimedes is stuck in his chest.

Bombinomicon awarding players prizes on Skull Island.

Bombinomicon

Main article: Bombinomicon (character)

See also: Bombinomicon (cosmetic item)

​Bombinomicon is a sentient book of forbidden knowledge and ancient wickedness, who lived for a time in the possession of Merasmus the Magician, and has multiple appearances in maps and cosmetics.

Captain Dan

Captain Dan's Army Surplus Soup

Captain Dan is a local soup manufacturer. After a massive soup recall, he generously volunteered in disposing the rancid product, and a relieved President awarded him the Key to the City and a License to Kill. The Soldier is a fan of his brand of tomato soup. Captain Dan's name is also on the sticker of the Cheese Wheel.

• Captain Dan was first mentioned in the WAR! Update.

• His soup now appears as one of the miscellaneous items in the Pyromania Update for the Soldier under the name The Captain's Cocktails.

• Other products include sour cream and mayonnaise (Teufort Reader).

• In Mannhattan signage, next to the pulp grinder, Captain Dan advertises that the wood pulp in his products is Now Legal to Eat. Adding wood pulp to food, especially bread, and now soup, as a cheap filler or thickener is an old practice.

Charles Darling

Charles Darling

“

A hunter needs his trophies, Saxton. You of all people should understand that. You were my best student, once. Before you gave it all up, for her. — Charles Darling on hunting

”

Charles Darling is the former hunting mentor of Mann Co. owner Saxton Hale. Formerly a hunter, Darling decided to give up a life of savagery for a more comfortable one of zoo-keeping. His falling-out with Saxton appeared to occur following Saxton's decision to abandon his training for Her. He is currently the owner and proprietor of Darling Zoos.

He enjoys watching the animals in his zoos suffer, and in the comic A Cold Day in Hell he has animals stand on boxes and stick their head through mounting plates, so he can look at the defeated looks in their eyes, which he finds amusing.

However, not satisfied with humiliating nearly or recently extinct animals, he created Charles Darling's Triassic Preserve to disgrace the great creatures of the past — today!

He is one of the parties pursuing Australium; his intention for the metal being to make his animals, "the last of their breeds", immortal.

• Charles Darling may be presumed to be a descendant of Bette Mann's father, Wm. Darling, Esq., and thus to be a distant relative of the Mann triplets.
• He is thought to be based on the famed evolutionist Charles Darwin; the animals shown in the opening page of Bidwell's Big Plan are all specific examples of animals Charles Darwin discussed in his book On the Origin of Species: Pygmy rabbit: infantile cuteness and tameness in domesticated rabbits; Dodo: vestigial organs (vestigial wings in Logger-back ducks); Bird cage: Darwin’s finches; Sea cows: Sirenia; Tasmanian wolf: convergent evolution; Quagga: Zebra stripes in domestic horses; Giraffes.
• Charles Darling first appeared in Bidwell's Big Plan.
• Charles Darling also appeared in Unhappy Returns and A Cold Day in Hell.

Devil

The Devil in Hell

“

We will... not be... DENIED! — The Devil to the Medic

”

Within TF2, Hell is shown as a tangible place, the mercenaries having even performed missions there. The Devil, a large, horned, red-skinned businessman in a sharp suit, works as is its chief executive manager, receiving recently departed souls on their way to Hell, especially those whom have entered into contracts with him, such as the Medic.

• In The Naked and the Dead, the Devil learns that, contractually, he has only minority share in the Medic's now surgically appended soul. Rather than releasing Medic to Heaven, the Devil accepts Medic's proposal to resurrect him and allow the Devil time to attempt to regain majority share in Medic's souls.

Eyelander

For the weapon, see Eyelander.

Eyelander, watching Ghost D.A. on TV

“

...headddds.... Click to listen — Eyelander

”

Eyelander is a sentient, speaking, haunted sword. Unlike its in-game counterpart, Eyelander is often seen shrouded in a ghostly, greenish energy. The Eyelander can also fly or hover on its own.

• Eyelander became Demoman's companion following Demoman's estrangement from Soldier.
• In Unhappy Returns, it is suggested that Eyelander is capable of striking victims on its own.
• Upon its first appearance, Eyelander was only able to whisper one word: "heads". As of Ring of Fired, however, it is now able to watch television, speak more words (including swearing, which it does frequently), and apparently eat churros.

• 

  The Eyelander in The Days Have Worn Away, floating.

Francis the Talking France

Francis the Talking France

“

They sound complicated enough that Valve decided they had no business judging cinéma. — Francis the Talking France on French vocabulary

”

Francis the Talking France is a sentient manifestation of France with an apparent knowledge of cinema. He claims to be the inventor of the following French terms: "Mise en scene! Auteur! Avante-garde! Montage! Even cinéma!". Valve put him in charge of judging all the Saxxy entries, but realizing that the job would be too big even for himself, he opened the voting to the public.

• Francis the Talking France first appeared on the website Old Man Murray, co-written by Valve writer Erik Wolpaw.
• The character appeared on the Official Team Fortress 2 Blog on the 20th of May.
• Francis is actually a mirror image of France, with its west in the east and vice versa.
• A child dresses as Francis for Halloween in the Bombinomicon comic.
• A cartoonized Francis appears on baby Scout's shirt on page 53 of A Cold Day in Hell.
• Miss Pauling references Francis the Talking France in one of her voice mail recordings to the Spy when giving him a rare contract.
• Francis can be seen on the cover of the comic book Scout reads when performing the Homerunner's Hobby taunt.

God

God along with two angels

“

Too... bright! Too glorious! — God upon seeing Scout's magnificent flex

”

God is the ruler of Heaven and personal designer of the Scout, introduced in The Naked and the Dead. God claims to have made the Scout specifically as a "gift to the ladies"; the Scout is not his son however, although God says he wishes he were.

• In The Naked and the Dead, God, infuriated to learn that not all women had Slept with the Scout, considers punishing them by destroying the Earth. The Scout convinces him against this however, and he opts instead to resurrect the Scout to give them all a final chance to have sex with him.

Jerry

Jerry

“

Here, hold these engine parts. — Saxton Hale right before jumping off the plane

”

Jerry is Saxton Hale's pilot, and has survived leaping from at least two different crashing planes; both of these crashes were caused by Hale.

• Jerry first appeared in the WAR! comic, with later appearances in Ring of Fired, The Naked and the Dead, and The Days Have Worn Away.

Maggie

Saxton and Mags talking romance as they are kicking a bunch of panthers

“

You left me, Sax. For your father's stupid hat company. — Maggie to Saxton Hale.

”

Margret, also nicknamed Mags and Maggie, is the ex-girlfriend of Saxton Hale. The two used to fight exotic animals together while both holding Charles Darling as their nemesis. Maggie broke up with Hale after he became CEO of Mann Co. After the break up, Mags had married four men, whom had all died while on her extreme adventures. When Gray Mann took over Mann Co., Maggie, now an employee of Darling, helps Hale ask him for help in winning back the company.

• Maggie was introduced in Unhappy Returns, and has appeared in all subsequent Team Fortress Comics.

Mayor Mike

Mayor Mike

“

Of course I can, I'm the Mayor! Mayors can do anything! — Mayor Mike on what he believes to be the law

”

Mayor Mike, or just Mike as he prefers, is the grossly incompetent mayor of Teufort, first introduced in Unhappy Returns.

Despite acting as mayor, Mike has absolutely no idea what a mayor can legally do, his abuse of power going as far as forcing a man to live as an Italian stereotype for ten years. Mike also committed a series of mistakes of criminal civic mismanagement, all of which he pinned on the mercenaries, whom he subsequently attempted to have arrested.

Mike succeeded in arresting the Scout and Spy in an ambush at the Teufort bank, then illegally acted as a judge to preside over the pair's trial for historic crimes against the city, during which both the Soldier and Demoman were also captured. Mike attempted to sentence all four to death by hanging, before Miss Pauling explained to him how little a mayor could actually do, and he relinquished to visit the Teufort library to learn more on his actual duties to the town.

Merasmus the Magician

Merasmus the Magician

Main article: Merasmus

Merasmus the Magician is a powerful wizard and former roommate of the Soldier, who has wide ranging participation as a non-player character in the game, Background, and Comics.

Poopy Joe

Poopy Joe, monkeynaut and American hero.

“

I have no idea what you're - ooo, right. That poor monkey. — Saxton Hale suddenly remembers his involvement in the loss of Poopy Joe

”

Poopy Joe was the first (and the only fully trained) American Monkeynaut, who died in the crash of his rocket moments after launch. The rocket in question had been sabotaged by Mann Co. who had hosted its launch for the price of one dollar as a ploy to steal its Australium fuel source; the crash was subsequently covered up.

Mann Co. denies all responsibility for his death, and actually created commemorative plates in remembrance of Poopy Joe, and America's dream of conquering space. The plates depict a series of items that Poopy Joe would have used in space, which were: A Sword for fighting Vladimir Bananas, a Bugle to be blown to sound for help should he encounter trouble, and a Pick-axe for digging into Heaven's vault.

During the ARG leading up to the Pyromania Update, new information surrounding the death of Poopy Joe came to light. In leaked pages from the Senate Hearing of Mann Co. it is revealed that the rocket's Australium fuel had been switched for gravel water from defective suitcase explosives, and stolen by "HER". Once the rocket hit ignition the lack of fuel caused it to malfunction and crash, detonating the explosives on impact and killing Poopy Joe.

• Poopy Joe was introduced in comments on the commemorative "divided back" postcard for Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl, Issue #44, and first appeared in a hidden page from the WAR! Update.
• The map Doomsday, added in the Pyromania Update, sees teams compete to deliver a briefcase of Australium to Poopy Joe's rocket; Upon delivery the rocket will launch, malfunction and subsequently crash. During the malfunction, Poopy Joe can be heard blowing his distress-bugle until the rocket explodes.
• In A Smissmas Story, Little Jack asks for a series of Saxton Hale toys, one of which is a Poopy Joe Rescue Rocket.
• During the Invasion Update teaser video Midnight Showing, Morse code can be heard which, when translated, reads "Poopy Joe was an inside job".
• A commemorative Poopy Joe hat was released with the Jungle Inferno Update. Although it is currently unobtainable in-game, it appears as a prop in Banana Bay.
• Poopy Joe appears to be a Vervet monkey .
• Underneath the BLU spawn in Banana Bay is a summoning circle for Poopy Joe made up of toxic waste, candles, and a large collection of bananas.
• The map Canaveral has a slideshow playing in RED and BLU spawn with one of the slides being in memorium to Poopy Joe.

Vladimir Bananas

Jungle Brawl full cover

Vladimir Bananas was a Soviet space chimp and the first monkey in space, mentioned in the footnotes of Saxton Hale's Jungle Brawl. America rushed to follow with their own Monkeynaut launch, which ended in disaster.

• Vladimir Bananas is also mentioned in one of the Administrator's responses on the map Doomsday

Nicholas Crowder/Old Nick

Nicholas Crowder, now known as "Old Nick".

“

The nice children are given the greatest gift of all -- they are not abducted along with the naughty ones and carted off to the South Pole. — Robin Walker on the story of Old Nick

”

Nicholas Crowder or Old Nick is a Smissmas holiday mascot and conqueror of the South Pole. He is shown to ride a sleigh pulled by at least three reindeer, one of whom wears an eye-patch, and a red-nosed Kangaroo wearing the Prancer's Pride.

According to legend, on December 18th, 1788, Nick, initially a settler to Australia, changed his mind on arrival and left for the South Pole, returning each December 18th to pass judgement on the children of Australia, sparing the nice, and abducting the naughty. Those abducted spend the next year crafting toys for Nick, which are wrapped and delivered to his mansion on December 17th. Nick then opens each, selling duplicate items for greatly reduced prices online.

• Old Nick was introduced in the Australian Christmas update.
• In the events of A Smissmas Story, Old Nick attempts to abduct children from a Teufort mall where three of the Mercs are performing community service. After being severely beaten by the Scout and Soldier, he relinquishes to abducting only one child, who, under the Spy's instruction, stabs him in the throat with an icicle, killing him.
• His name, "Old Nick", is a name sometimes given to the Devil within Christian theology, and is used here as a play on words of the name of traditional Christmas character Saint Nick, otherwise known as Santa Claus.

The Park Warden

The park warden.

“

You're scaring ostriches on the premises? That's a hefty fine, ma'am. — The Park Warden to Merasmus

”

The Park Warden is a civil servant in the employ of a Badlands city, introduced in Doom-Mates. She is tasked with evicting Merasmus, whom she mistakenly refers to as Ma'am, as his castle had been annexed by the city as a Raccoon sanctuary, with Soldier assigned as its park Ranger.

Shakespearicles

Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived.

Shakespearicles was the strongest writer who ever lived. He was the inventor of the two-story building, the stage play, America, and the Rocket Launcher. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip – most tragically among them, stairs.

For the next three hundred years, people who needed to reach a building's second floor used the only method available, which was rocket jumping. This persisted until 1857, when the young bearded inventor named Abraham Lincoln invented stairs.

• Valve has a large poster of Shakespearicles in their office.
• Shakespearicles was first mentioned in the gunboats page of the War! Update, with an accompanying image given on a hidden page.
• Shakespearicles' name and part of his backstory are based on William Shakespeare, a famous British playwright, and Heracles (herr-ə-kleez), a hero of Ancient and Classical Greece known for his incredible strength.
• One of Miss Pauling's rare Tough Break contract calls attests to a Shakespearicles in the Park performance of Hamlet.
  • Echoing Shakespearicles' biography and the portmanteau of his name, the characters of the play are Hercules and the Shakespearian Macbeth engaged in a super-powered championship cage-wrestling match.

Yeti

The Yeti, pacified by hippies.

See also: Yeti (disambiguation)

Yeti was a member of a recently extinct primate species that was native to the Himalayas, but had been seen in other remote alpine locations.

Yetis were a rare and unspeakably savage race of creatures. As such, they were sought by Saxton Hale, who wanted to fight them. After falling out with his mentor, Charles Darling, Mr. Hale sought increasingly challenging animals to fight, from snow leopards and sharks to smarter than average grizzly bears. Days after the murder of Redmond and Blutarch, Saxton Hale had finally tracked the last Yeti to the Kingdom of Bhutan, only to discover that it had been pacified by hippies employing Behavioral Counseling and aromatherapy. By punching the Yeti in the face, Saxton undid these months of reconditioning. In the resulting fight, Saxton Hale defeated and captured the Yeti, then keeping it confined in a simple habitat in the fighting theme park, Yeti Park. In the following months, the captured Yeti was biomedically enhanced for even less speakable savagery within the YTI Institute for Research and Development adjacent to the park. The whole bloody point of this conditioning was to create the most challenging animal for Saxton Hale to fight when it escaped. Almost a year later, seething with steroidal strength and rage, the Yeti broke free of its laboratory confinement, bloodying the walls with the unfortunate staff of the Institute. With an assist from the Scout, Saxton Hale tracked and fought the escaped Yeti, killing it with a Yeti Punch.

Saxton Hale stuffed and mounted the defeated Yeti and displayed the trophy in his office with other mementos of his earlier adventures and animal fights; shortly before losing his collection, his office, and his entire company to Olivia Mann.

• The last Yeti was introduced in A Fate Worse Than Chess.
• The biomedical enhancement and violent escape are portrayed in the Mercenary Park map.
• The death of the last Yeti is portrayed in the Jungle Inferno video.
• In Ring of Fired, Hale brings the stuffed and mounted Yeti home for display in his office, which he then loses within the hour.
• The mounted Yeti appears in The Contract, but this does not fit the Storyline.
• A bloody Yeti handprint can be found outside of the playable area of Cursed Cove.

Minor ongoing characters

Minor character that have some correlation to the storyline with more than one mention or appearance (e.g., in both a map and a Comic, cosmetics).

Ebenezer Scrooge & Bob Cratchit

“

Okay. Eat your own hand, then. Not the map-making one! — Scrooge on Cratchit's refusal to eat his only candle.

”

Bob Cratchit, a "kindly community map maker", and Scrooge, a "billionaire hat magnate", are characters in a Christmas play detailed in the Australian Christmas update.

• These are satires of exceedingly popular characters in the Charles Dickens' 1843 novella A Christmas Carol.
  • Scrooge has been referenced elsewhere within Team Fortress 2; Ebenezer, Mutton Mann

Bonzo the Circus God

An effigy of Bonzo

“

Be afraid, mortals! Bonzo, the ancient Sumerian circus god, is coming! — Merasmus on the arrival of Bonzo

”

Bonzo is the evil Ancient Sumerian god of circuses, worshipped by Merasmus.

• Bonzo was first appeared in Scream Fortress 2014's accompanying comic Blood Money, in which Merasmus had built an evil carnival in order to appease him.
  • The map Carnival of Carnage depicts this carnival; on the map Merasmus has a number of responses related to Bonzo, and within the map's underworld Bonzo can be seen beneath each of the arenas.
• Bonzo is also depicted by the Unusual effect Bonzo the All-Gnawing and the cosmetic item Beanie The All-Gnawing.

Claude Huggins

Claude Huggins, founder of Teufort, NM

Claude Huggins, first mentioned in A Cold Day in Hell, was the founder of Teufort, which he originally named Hugginsville. Huggins survived a bear attack by hiding under the mauled corpse of his wife, founding the settlement on the very spot of the attack.

Claude Huggins's and Teufort's proud legacy of hiding is commemorated in the half dollar coin (pictured) and the statue in the Teufort Town Square City Dump.

• A hidden image on the TF2 Blog that appeared before the Über Update depicts a doctors office. While the text on the box on the desk is just illegible, it is evocative of "Dr. Claude Huggins DECEASED".
• Claude Huggins' name also appeared in a piece of graffiti, found on a wall in the Left 4 Dead series. Echoing the character's biography, the scrawled writing that mentions him says "CLAUDE HUGGINS / YOU ARE A COWARD / AND YOU LET YOUR CHILDREN DIE".

Gentle Manne of Leisure, his Companione, and Smelly Unfortunate

“

A-ha-ha! You are as PRESUMPTUOUS as you are POOR and IRISH. Tarnish notte the majesty of my TOWER of HATS. — The Gentle Manne of Leisure commenting to Smelly Unfortunate

”

The Gentle Manne of Leisure is a Victorian Englishman who was rich enough to buy a tower of hats. He traveled the streets of a Victorian English city with his Companione, informing Smelly Unfortunate that the latter was presumptuous, poor, and Irish. The Gentle Manne of Leisure wore a tuxedo, carried a cane, and was never seen without his most prized possession – his tower of hats. It is possible that he is referred to as "Sinclaire" by his Companione as they spectate their 'Hatless Commoners' boxing. Also, the quotation above is used as the description for the Towering Pillar of Hats.

• The Gentle Manne of Leisure was first shown in the Classless Update, flanked by his Companione.
• The pair, and Smelly Unfortunate, can be found in the June 1814 edition of Gentle Manne's Monthly.
• Gentle Manne of Leisure and Smelly Unfortunate are also in the list of random bot names.

• 

  The Gentle Manne of Leisure and his Companione

• 

  Smelly Unfortunate

Gonzo

Gonzo is the indentical twin brother of the evil Ancient Sumerian god of circuses, Bonzo.

• Gonzo first appeared in the Scream Fortress 2021 map Terror Where the Red team defends him from the Blu team who attempts to push a bomb into his mouth.
• Gonzo's mouth contains Crocodiles that will eat any unfortunate victims that fall in.

Little Jack

Little Jack

“

An' I wanna Action Saxton, and a Action Saxton Hippie-Drome Battle Arena, an' a Poopy Joe Rescue Rocket, an' I wanna... — Little Jack's Smissmas list

”

Little Jack is a young boy and Teufort local hero introduced in A Smissmas Story, responsible for the death of Smissmas holiday mascot Old Nick, whom he stabbed in the throat with an icicle. Jack killed Old Nick under the instructions of the BLU team's Spy, during an attempted kidnapping by Nick at the Teufort mall Santa booth.

• In A Smissmas Story, Little Jack came to the Santa booth to ask for a slew of Saxton Hale toys. In response, the Soldier shaved the child's head, and gave him the gift of watching his father be beaten up by the Soldier.

Soldier's cutout war buddies

The Soldier's cutout war buddies.

Just as Soldier made his own medals, he also made his own old war buddies. Cutouts constructed of plywood or cardboard, Soldier sits with them around campfires, reminiscing about nonsensical war experiences, which exist only in his imagination.

• In Grordbort's Crash, Soldier sits with well-painted plywood cutouts he names Salty Pete, Iron Eye, and Pepper Pot Pete, later also naming Peter Pepper-Pants and Salsa Pete. He addresses them as survivors of his old platoon as he hosts a "tea party" (ironically).

• In rare Gun Mettle and Tough Break contract calls, Miss Pauling is aware of Soldier's campfires with his cardboard cutout buddies and knows his names for some of them, including Salty Pete, Pepper Pot Pete, Perry Pepper Pants, Peter Poopy-Toots.

Trivial characters

These one-off characters are either gags or otherwise make no contribution to the Canon Storyline. See also spin-off timelines.

Apple Store manager

Saxton sees the unknown manager.

“

Let me see your manager. — Saxton Hale on blowing up the moon with Apple's latest product

”

The Apple Store manager is the manager of the Apple Store located on the outskirts of Dustbowl, employer of Trent and Jessica.

When Saxton Hale asked to buy out the company, the manager denied the request, Hale immediately recognizing him and saying the store 'had his curvy stink all over it'. He is presumably one of Hale's long time rivals.

• Appearing in the non-canon Mac Update comic, A Visual History, the character refers to Apple co-founder Steve Jobs as identified by his trademark black mock turtle neck characteristically rolled up over his elbows.

Archibald and Julius

Archibald (left) Julius (right)

“

Truly it is a Smissmas Miracle for the poor bombless unfortunates of Teufort! — Julius overjoyed at the great gift he and Archibald received.

”

Archibald and Julius are the proprietors of the Bombs for the Poor non-profit charity, introduced in 2011's A Smissmas Story. Both are completely fictitious characters, invented by the Scout and Soldier as an alibi while on trial for blowing up a Mall Santa training facility.

Chicken Girl

Fried Chicken Tramp

“

Eh, okay. — Chicken Girl on deciding to "do" the Scout

”

The Chicken Girl, referred to indirectly by the Spy as a Fried Chicken Tramp, is an anonymous girl who appeared in Expiration Date and Scout met at a Conquistador Fried Giblets fast food restaurant. Scout points out to her that they both have buckets of fried chicken and asks her if she wants to "do it", to which she replies "Eh, okay."

Christopher the Communist Mountain

Featured in comic #3 A Cold Day in Hell, Christopher the Communist Mountain is an archenemy of Soldier. On a trek in Siberia, Soldier, Scout, and Pyro are on a mission to find Heavy in the Siberian Mountains. Shortly after their journey starts, the trio encounters Christopher, and he tempts Soldier to eat things around him, such as the wildlife, his hands, and even Scout.

The Judge

The Judge

“

I hereby sentence all three of you imbeciles to community service. — The Judge

”

The Judge presided over the trial of the Scout and Spy, with the Soldier as their attorney in A Smissmas Story. The pair were being tried for blowing up a Mall Santa training facility. He convinces the Scout to rat out the Soldier as the mastermind of the attack and sentences all three to community service at a Mall Santa booth.

Kicasso

Self-portrait of Kicasso

“

Say, uh... That ain't an original Kicasso, is it? — Dell Conagher

”

Kicasso is a painter only mentioned in the Loose Canon comic, whose work is on display in the lobby of BLU's headquarters. The displayed piece is noted as having been painted during his "Hunted in the Jungle" period of artwork.

• Kicasso's name is a play on the name of famous artist Picasso and the expression 'kick-ass'.
• The artwork attributed to him is a parody adaptation of Picasso's 'Self-portrait with Cloak', painted at the beginning of his "blue period".

Little Jack's parents

Little Jack's parents

“

Now hold on a damn second, pal... — Little Jack's father watching his child have his head shaven

”

Little Jack's parents are the mother and father of Little Jack. During the events of A Smissmas Story, Little Jack's mother is hit on by the Scout, while his father is beaten up by the Soldier.

• Only the name of Little Jack's father is known, going by the name Henry.

Trent and Jessica

Trent and Jessica

“

...and the bullets biodegrade once they hit flesh, leaving nothing behind but a blog post. — Trent explaining Apple's advances in the Minigun market

”

Trent and Jessica are two employees (and, according to the Soldier, hippies) of the Apple store located just outside Dustbowl.

• Trent and Jessica were introduced in the non-canon Mac Update comic, A Visual History.

Trevor

Trevor, formerly known as "Guiseppe".^(sic)

“

Trevor can't-a remember how-a he use-a to talk! — Trevor

”

Trevor is a resident and former pizzeria owner of Teufort, first introduced in Unhappy Returns.

Trevor was forced to live as an Italian stereotype for ten years due to Mayor Mike's abuse of power. Forcing Trevor to wear a fake moustache, wig, speaking with a stereotypical accent and changing his name to "Guiseppe" (a misspelled variant of the real Italian name Giuseppe). Trevor's pizzeria was closed due to Mayor Mike requisitioning a city dump in front of the entrance.

After Miss Pauling stops the hanging of Spy, Scout, Soldier, and Demoman, Trevor leaves with the rest of the Teufort citizens to the Teufort library to learn about Italy.

Historical figures

U.S. Presidents

Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln, depicted mid rocket jump

Wikipedia article: Abraham Lincoln

“

I say this to you with the unvarnished factualism of plain talk: I love Arena mode. — Abraham Lincoln in his Second Inaugural Address, 1865

”

Alongside being the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln is attributed with several other feats within the TF2 Universe. An inventor by trade, documenting Lincoln's history is problematic due to conflicting information regarding an invention attributed to him, and the circumstances of his death.

Within in his first mention on the Victory page of the WAR! Update, Lincoln was stated to have invented stairs in 1857 as a solution to the 300 year old problem of only being able to reach the second floor of a building by rocket jumping. Lincoln then built the world's first staircase in his laboratory at Ford's Theatre, where he subsequently perished in a misguided attempt to rocket jump up it.

In image scraps from the background of the first page of the Engineer Update, and in a painting depicted in its accompanying comic, its shown that Lincoln acted as the Pyro of the original BLU team, wielding an experimental Flame Thrower of his own design. Further down, a wanted poster of John "Tower of Hats" Booth appears, alleging that, contrary to the explanation given previously, Lincoln was instead murdered.

In the Gun Mettle Update, a commemorative coin was added to track a players contract points. Upon totaling 2000 points, the coin would upgrade to a Silver Gun Mettle Campaign Coin, embossed with a rocket jumping Lincoln, and the phrase "inventor of the rocket jump". This is, again, highly contentious, as the WAR! page implies rocket jumping had existed for at least 250 years before his birth.

• Lincoln's role as the original BLU Pyro is further evidenced by his appearance in the comic Catch-Up, although here he has a somewhat-reddish hue.
• The simplest explanation to the rocket jump inconsistency is that the artist responsible simply confused his invention of stairs with his death jumping up them while making the coin. This is inferred both from the coin's other embossing, "I love Arena mode", which is a direct quote from Lincoln's Second inaugural address first stated in page two of the Sniper vs Spy Update, and from the fact that the bronze and gold variants of the coin both also make reference only to lore that has been previously established.
  • On the same page, a quote attributed to Lincoln is printed on the back of a postcard, which reads "America's pipelines are a stirring beacon of hope. Let no man befoul their majesty with calumny or bombs."

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wikipedia article: Franklin D. Roosevelt

Franklin Delano Roosevelt, also referred to as Franklin D. Roosevelt or FDR, was mentioned on the Victory page of the WAR! Update. While recovering from a rocket jumping accident in 1921, Roosevelt found Lincoln's plans for stairs, which he subsequently perfected the design of, at last freeing the world from the tyranny of the second floor.

George Washington

The "ghost" of George Washington

Wikipedia article: George Washington

“

Hello, Everyone! It is I! George Washington! — George Washington announcing his appearance

”

George Washington was the inventor of the United States of America, first mentioned in Dapper Rogue, appearing on page 4 of the Sniper vs Spy Update. Historians agree Washington's greatest failing was his inability to remain permanently invisible, a problem only solved by the advent of the Cloak and Dagger, allowing the Spy to succeed where the inventor of the US failed.

• Washington also appeared as a ghost in A Cold Day in Hell, alongside Benedict Arnold and a large Hotdog, as a starvation-induced hallucination of the Soldier.

Other

Amelia Earhart

Amelia Earhart's bones, seen flying from the Hotdog costume in which she died

Wikipedia article: Amelia Earhart

“

Of all the bones in all the hot dog costumes in Siberia, I gotta get one made outta egg shells. — The Scout on the quality of Amelia Earhart's bones

”

Amelia Earhart was the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean, who set many other records and wrote a number of best-selling books, before her tragic disappearance on July 2nd, 1939, while expected to be en route to Howland Island from Lae, New Guinea.

The Pyro found Earhart's plane in the exact opposite direction (page 18) while trekking through southeastern Siberia in A Cold Day in Hell, within which they found several crates of honey, the Soldier noting Earhart had a famous Sweet-Tooth, and a Hotdog costume, which was taken by the Scout for warmth; this was later shown to contain Earhart's bones, implying she was wearing it when she died.

Benedict Arnold

The "ghost" of Benedict Arnold

Wikipedia article: Benedict Arnold

“

My only regret is I didn't watch enough cartoons. — The last words of Benedict Arnold

”

Benedict Arnold was an American general during the American Revolutionary War who infamously defected to the British; his greatest crime was not eating soup.

• Benedict Arnold first appeared as a ghost in A Cold Day in Hell, alongside George Washington and a large Hotdog, and was later mentioned in a news post on the Official Team Fortress 2 Blog.

Fred Astaire

Fred Astaire

Wikipedia article: Fred Astaire

“

MAKE HIM PAY — An advertisement selling the ability to kill Fred Astaire

”

Fred Astaire, born Frederick Austerlitz, was an American film and Broadway stage dancer, choreographer, singer, and actor. His stage and subsequent film career spanned a total of 76 years, during which he made 31 musical films. Astaire appeared in an advertisement found on hidden page from the WAR! Update, where he was noted as being particularly susceptible to projectile weapon fire.

John Wilkes Booth

John "Tower of Hats" Booth

Wikipedia article: John Wilkes Booth

John "Tower of Hats" Booth was the assassin of beloved US president Abraham Lincoln.

In image scraps from the background of the Day One page of the Engineer Update, a wanted poster for Booth is seen, featuring a photograph of him wearing his eponymous tower of hats, with an adjacent edited photo for comparison, depicting how he may look with Lincoln's hat added to his tower.

Booth was later killed in a shootout between himself, Bilious Hale and a large group of people, during which Hale sat on his chest as others took turns shooting him; Hale was subsequently awarded Booth's hat tower for his bravery.

• Booth's "death hat" and its accompanying plaque can be found in the museum of Mann VS Machine map Coaltown.

Sun Tzu

Wikipedia article: Sun Tzu

“

"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!" — Soldier paraphrasing chapter 10 of The Art of War

”

Sun Tzu (Simplified Chinese: 孙武; Traditional Chinese: 孫武; pronounce: /suːn ˈdzuː, suːn ˈsuː/) was an ancient Chinese tactician and philosopher, best known for his book The Art of War, detailing innovative Chinese strategy in warfare. He gained fame for his remarkable strategies and many policies on warfare, particularly in the West, his work continuing to influence warfare and politics to this day. The Soldier has an intense respect for Sun Tzu, whom he believed to have invented both fighting and war, although Soldier strongly disagrees with less violent points of his wisdom.

Sun Tzu was first mentioned in Meet the Soldier, in which Soldier claims Sun Tzu invented and perfected fighting such that none could best him in the ring of honor. Continuing, Soldier claims Sun Tzu used money obtained from his fighting to purchase two of every animal on earth, which he herded onto a boat and then beat the crap out of.

• On page 5 of Meet the Director, Soldier asks if Sun Tzu ever wrote any books on punching through a man's ribcage, to which the Director says no.
• The Soldier has a few in game responses referencing Sun Tzu.

William Prescott

Wikipedia article: William Prescott

“

Don't fire till you see the tops of their heads — William Prescott on shooting the poor

”

William Prescott was an American Revolutionary War colonel who notably led the patriot forces at the Battle of Bunker Hill. Mentioned on the Day One page of the Classless Update, Prescott loved hats and encouraged others to shoot only those combatants too poor to wear them, saying, ("Don't fire till you see the tops of their heads").

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin

Wikipedia article: Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin

“

It's the same spirit of competitive enterprise that stalled the moon landing by three years — Pyromania Day One Page on the subject of the map Doomsday

”

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were two American Astronauts, famed respectively as the first and second man on the moon. First mentioned on the Day One page of the Pyromania Update, the pair inadvertently stalled the moon landing by 3 years when Aldrin suplexed Armstrong into a pile of folding chairs at the 1969 wrestling event "Astromania".

Aleister Crowley

Wikipedia article: Aleister Crowley

Aleister Crowley was an English occultist, mentioned in a hidden page on the Official Team Fortress 2 Blog, where he is noted as having cursed the scenic Skull Island during one of his famous speedboat cursing tours.

Tom Jones

Tom Jones in Heaven

Wikipedia article: Tom Jones

“

Man, I just dropped a Sex Bomb on that steam room! — Tom Jones after some time in Heaven's spa

”

Sir Thomas John Woodward, better known by his stage name Tom Jones, is a Welsh singer, known for his many hit singles including "It's Not Unusual", "What's New Pussycat", and "She's a Lady".

In the events of Ring of Fired, his first appearance, Merasmus moved in with Tom Jones following his eviction from Castle Merasmus. After breaking into the pair's home whilst guiding a tour of celebrity houses, the Soldier snaps Tom Jones' neck, leaving Merasmus to take the rap for his death.

In the events of The Naked and the Dead, Spy disguises as Tom Jones as an effort to comfort the Scout in his final moments, explaining he is the Scout's father. Once in Heaven, Scout and God converse before the real deceased Tom Jones approaches. To hide him from Scout, Jones receives another neck snap from an angel, and is dragged off.

• In The Naked and the Dead, the Scout is also shown to have a tattoo of Jones and the misspelled phrase Sex Bom, on his chest
• On Carnival of Carnage, Merasmus' ticket case is shown to have a Tom Jones concert sticker attached to it.
• It is revealed in Unhappy Returns that five-and-a-half months prior to Tom Jones' death the Scout had converted all of his and his mother's savings into twelve cubic yards of Tom Jones memorabilia.
  • In a postcard added in the Tough Break Update, Scout is shown to have opened a Tom Jones museum using this memorabilia.
• In The Days Have Worn Away, it is revealed that Tom Jones' ghost haunts a brick that lives in Soldier's pants.

There are several references to Tom Jones in the game, in the community, or in other Team Fortress 2 media:

• Jones' work was first related to Team Fortress 2 with the advent of community videos in which Jones' song "It's Not Unusual" is played over footage of Crates being opened, as a humorous reference to the extreme rarity of unboxing an Unusual cosmetic.
• A nod to this joke later appeared in Expiration Date, where, during his training montage, the Scout is shown performing a dance referred to by many as The Carlton. The Carlton was a dance first performed by Jones' in the video of his song "It's Not Unusual", and was later popularized by the television series Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, in a scene in which its name sake character dances to the song.
  • The animation was later released as a taunt for the Scout within the Meet Your Match Update, also under the name of "Carlton", with its description featuring references to Jones' other songs "What's New Pussycat" and "Sex Bomb".

Other Valve characters

Whitaker

The advertisement depicting Whitaker wearing Ellis' Cap while showing off the frying pan.

“

RED, BLU -- your money's all green here. — Whitaker — he don't pass judgment, and he don't take sides.

”

Whitaker, a minor character in Left 4 Dead 2, wrote a blog update on the Official Team Fortress 2 Blog advertising the promotional Ellis' Cap and Frying Pan one can get from purchasing or previously owning Left 4 Dead 2. Based on his opening paragraph, he is southern like the other Left 4 Dead 2 characters. It seems he is neutral towards the RED and BLU corporations' feud, and also seems to know little-to-nothing about TF Industries other than "what he is told". It also appears that his existence is outside of Team Fortress 2's canonical storyline as he refers to the war as an "infernal game called Team Fortress 2". However, this can be countered by the fact that he seems to be addressing the RED and BLU team members in the blog. Within Left 4 Dead 2, he is voiced by Dayton Callie.

• This character has only been seen once in this Official Team Fortress 2 Blog post as of yet, and may be non-canon. For more information unrelated to Team Fortress 2, refer here.

Wheatley

Main article: Ap-Sap

Announcers

Main article: Community announcers

See also

• Comics
• Storyline
• Mann vs Machine

External links

• The Administrator
• Loose Canon
• WAR!
• The Gentle Manne of Leisure
• The last will and testament of Zepheniah Mann
• Mann family portrait
• The original BLU team
• The Australians and Australium
• Extended Mann family portrait