Soldier responses

Voice Responses are contextually triggered lines that play after the player has achieved something, for instance killing a certain amount of enemies with a Primary or Melee Weapon, or the player has triggered something, like being set on fire. The Soldier has several vocal responses, all of which are listed below (excluding Voice Commands).

Kill-related responses

After Killing More than 1 Enemy in 20 Seconds with a Primary Weapon

"Ka-boom!" "Maggots!" "Take your lumps like a man, Private Twinkletoes." "You are all weak. You are all bleeders."

After Killing More than 3 Enemies in 20 Seconds with a Primary Weapon

"Time to inform your next of kin!" "This is my world. You are not welcome in my world."

Killing a Demoman

"You will not be missed." "I never liked you." "You were loud and ugly and now you're DEAD! Amen." "You're dead, that's good, amen." "Godspeed, you magnificent bastard." "You were good son, real good; maybe even the best."

Kill-streak while being healed

"Blammo!" "Boom!" "Pa-POW!"

Destroying a building

"Charge!" "Forward!" "Screamin' Eagles!" "Oh yeah!" "Hooah!"

Kill assist

"Thanks, soldier."

Melee Kill

"Yaaaaagh!" "Yaaaaagh!" "Yaaaaagh!" "Yaaaaagh!"

Domination related responses

Domination

Evil laughter Evil laughter 2 Evil laughter 3 Happy laughter Happy laughter 2 Happy laughter 3 Long laughter Long laughter 2 "If God had wanted you to live, He would not have created me!" "I joined this team just to kill maggots like you."

Dominating a Scout

"Dominated, short pants!" "How's that domination feel, city boy?" "You kids today don't know how to dominate." "Less talk, more fight." "You cannot run from me, my gun is faster." "You run fast, my bullets run faster." "Never bring a bat to a battlefield, war is not a game." "Your mouth wrote checks, my gun has cashed them." "Got anything funny to say about that, funny man?" "Never send a boy to fight a man's war." "You were in a big fat hurry to die, son."

Dominating a Soldier

"Dominated, hippie, get a job!" "You better hope there's hacky-sack in Hell, hippie!" "You are now a conscientious objector to being dead, hippie!" "What's the matter, hippie? Hair get in your eyes?" "Get a haircut, hippie." "You're a disgrace to the uniform."

Dominating a Pyro

"I just tore you a new chimney, Smokey Joe." "You cannot burn me, I'm already on fire." "You cannot burn me, I'm already ablaze with passion, FOR WAR!" "You cannot burn me, I do not have time to combust!" "Fire is for cooking s'mores, son; get a REAL GUN." "Your fire-retardant ass just got dominated." "Ha! You fight like a girl." "How do you like that, All Quiet on the Western Front?" "Get a haircut, hippie! (whispered) Just in case."

25px  Dominating a Demoman

"Dominated, you one-eyed cross-dresser." "Consider yourself dominated, you Scotch son of a bitch!" "Dominated, you skirt-twirling drunk." "I love your death, cyclops; your death is sweet to me like love is sweet." "Scotland is not a real country, you are an Englishman with a dress." "You're like the Cyclops of Greek myth, except you are Scottish, and I hate you!"

Dominating a Heavy

"You just got dominated, Sputnik." "Stars and Stripes beats Hammer and Sickle, LOOK IT UP." "You just got dominated, Comrade." "Dominated, you red menace." "Go play your pinko chess game with the Devil, Commie." "This American boot just kicked your ass back to Russia." "Checkmate, Stalingrad."

Dominating a Engineer

"Dominated, grease monkey." "You just got dominated, toymaker." "Stop hiding behind your little toys and fight like a man!" "I will eat your ribs, I will eat them up!" "That's where books get you, professor." "Go back to Calgary, you cow-herding Canadian."

Dominating a Medic

"You just got dominated, Oktoberfest." "You just got dominated, Fritz." "America wins again!" "Ich bin I just kicked your ass! " ("Ich bin" is German for "I am".) "Welcome to the United States of YOU JUST GOT DOMINATED!" "I'm gonna mail my boot to the Kaiser with your ass around it!" "Gotcha, Herr Doktor."

Dominating a Sniper

"This is not a camping trip, Sheila. This is war and I love it!" "You will not turn my battlefield into a campground." "Now hear this, camper, you are not wanted on my beloved battlefield!" "I will send my condolences to your kangaroo wife." "You are a coward, and you died like one." "The next time you want to kill a man, look him in the eyes." "You just got dominated, Bilbo Baggins!" "You just got dominated, Balbo Biggins!" "You just got dominated, Bablo Bravins!" "You just got dominated, Barble Bapkins!" "You just got dominated, Basbo Bibbins!" "You just got dominated, Bulbo Buttons!" "Aww, am I too violent for you, cupcake?" "Your country did not prepare you for the level of violence you will meet on my battlefield!"

Dominating a Spy

"Gotcha, crouton." "You just got your Frenchie ass dominated." "Ohh-honh-honh-honh-You're dominated." "Dominated, you rifle dropping coward." "Hit the showers, Frenchie." "Your white flag does not stop American bullets." "Words cannot express how much I hate France right now." "Bon voyage, crouton!"

Revenge Kill

"Hehehyaaa!" "Today is a good day." "Outstanding!"

Event-related responses

Round Start

"Charge!" "Forward!" "Give 'em hell, boys!" "Last one alive, lock the door!" "Attack!" "Hehehyaaa!"

Sudden Death

"Boooooo..." "Each and every one of you has failed." "Are you all trying for a Section Eight?" "Which of you numbnuts let us down?" "You have dishonored this entire unit!" "You are the sorriest excuses for soldiers I have ever seen!" "Pain is weakness leaving the body." "Down and give me twenty!" "Get with the program!" "If I have to crack some skulls, I will." "That was an amazing killing spree... by the other team!" "You are all dishonorably discharged."

Stalemate

"We failed, men." "I will not tolerate failure on my team." Grumble

Set on Fire

"Fire, fire, fire!" "I am on fire!" "The burning, the burning!"

On Death

*Dying scream* *Dying scream* *Dying scream* *Dying scream*

Hit by Jarate or Mad Milk

Grumble "No!" "Dammit!" (groans)

Teleportation

"Thanks." "Thanks for the Teleporter." "Thanks, Engie."

Healed by Medic

"You deserve a medal, Doc." "Thanks for the aid." "Thanks, Doc."

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

"I am going to enjoy killing each and every one of you sorry sacks of scum!" "Each and every one of you will be sent home to your momma' in a box!" "You are all maggots, you scum sucking fruit baskets!" "You sissified maggot scum have just signed your death warrants!" "Surrender now maggots and you will not be harmed!" "You are scum! You are nothin' but a buncha' cowards!" "We have you surrounded, at least from this side!"

Achievement Unlocked

"Now that is what I wanna see!" "And that is how you do it, men!" Long laughter Happy laughter "Screamin' Eagles!"

Weapon-related responses

Buff Banner/Battalion's Backup/Concheror Activated

Conch Shell Call BLU Bugle Call RED Bugle Call "Charge!" "Give 'em hell, boys!" "Last one alive, lock the door!" "Forward!" "Attack!" "Hehehyaaa!"

Objective-related responses

After Capturing Intelligence

"This is my Intelligence." "And that is how you do it, men!" "I have rescued my Intelligence."

After Capturing Control Point

"Now that is what I wanna see!" "This point is mine! Do you understand that?" "We have commandeered my point!"

Standing on captured Point, firing weapon

"Stand... on... the... point, numbnuts!" "Stand... on... the... point, maggot!" "Stand... on... the... point, maggots!"

Defense

"Boo-yah!" "The worm has turned, gentlemen." "Hoo-ah!"

Mann vs. Machine responses

Setup/Between Waves

Ready to play

"Ready." "I am ready."

Ready to play, but other players are not

"Fall in, men." "Sound off if you're ready." "Man up, ladies."

Wave finished, near an Upgrade Station

"Men, get to the Upgrade Stations."

After accessing an Upgrade Station

"Ahhh...Much better." "Well, back to the front." "Bwahah!"

During a Wave

Collecting Credits

"Grab that cash boys, we earned it." "Mwaha! The spoils of war."

Teammate places a Sapper on a Robot

"Sapping a robot." "That is a sapped robot."

Enemy Sniper

"Sniper!"

Sentry Buster incoming

"Sentry Buster!"

Sentry Buster destroyed

"Sentry Buster eliminated."

Bomb dropped

"Bomb bot has been eliminated." "Ten-hut! Bomb is clear." While in Alert Zone "Now that was close."

Bomb picked up

"Bomb!" "They got a bomb!" "Another bomb."

Bomb carrier upgrades

"That bomb bot's getting angry." "That bomb bot's getting angrier." "That bomb bot's on a rampage."

Giant Robot deployed

"Big robot!" "Let's give this soup can hell!"

Giant Robot picks up bomb

"That big one's got the bomb!" "Big robot's got the bomb, boys!"

Tank incoming

"Tank!" "Taaaaaaaank!"

Tank in Alert Zone

"That Tank is dropping a bomb!"

Shooting at Tank

"Shoot that Tank!" "We need to kill the Tank!" "Let's kick this robot's ass back to the Bronze Age!"

Tank is destroyed

"Tank is down, men!" "Tank has been neutralized!"

Teammate is killed

"Scout down." "Soldier down." "Pyro down." "Demo down." "Heavy down." "Engineer down." "Medic down." "Sniper down." "Spy down."

All other teammates are dead

"Just me and you, lady-bots!" "I am not trapped in a facility full of robots. You are all trapped in here with me!"

Miscellaneous

"You worthless lady-bots get back here and fight!" "Reboot in robot hell, you tin savages!" "This is not a robot tea party, sparkbags, this is robot war!" "Get a haircut, trashcans." "The best part of you ran down your motherboard." "You're not a real robot, are you, comrade?"

After a Wave

Won

"U! S! A!" "No guts, no glory, robots!" "I will open up your chassis and use you all as a latrine!" "Human grit always beats robot magic." "I have uploaded a boot up your metal asses!" "Never forget; always remember. Pepper fie." "All men gave some. Some men gave more than some."

Lost

"You call that a loss? I've crapped bigger losses than that." "Let's see them try that twice!" "Well that went pear-shaped fast!"

Halloween / Full Moon responses

Wheel of Fate outcomes

While Wheel of Fate spins

"Here we go." "Spinning. Spinning!" "I got a good feeling about this!" "Come on! Seven!"

Dance Off fate

"Must...stop...dancing." "Must...think...about...sensible haircuts!"

No Gravity fate

"Don't you die on me gravity." Fate wears off "Gravity! Noooo!"

Big Head fate

"Oh, my big head!" "Ahhrrr!" "Nooo!"

Small Head fate

"Oh, my tiny head! "Oh, my head!" "So tiny!"

Whammy fate (Bleeding variant)

"My blood! No!" "Merasmus! I need that blood!"

Positive fate

"Yaaay!" "Hahahaha!"

Negative fate

"You are the worst roommate!"

During battle with Merasmus

Merasmus brings out Bombinomicon

"Lookout! It's the bas-bo bibby bomb!" "Lookout! It's the bas-bo bombbibomb!" "Lookout! It's the bomb-bo basmatron!" "Everyone down! He's got a book!" "It's a book! He's going to read!"

Head turned into bomb

"Oh, my big bomb head!" "Bomb head! I got a good feeling about this."

Successfully stun Merasmus

"Hah! You screwed up now, Merasmus!" "Hah! I'm coming for you, wizard!"

Merasmus hides

"You can't hide from me forever, Merasmus!" "You better hide, Merasmus!" "Come on out Merasmus. I've got your rent." "Come on out Merasmus! I've got your body! It's not burned! Looks pretty good! I might crawl in there myself!" "Everybody's dead now, Merasmus! From being scared! You win! Come out!"

Looking for Merasmus

"Merasmus!" "Get out here so I can kick you right in your frilly wizard dress!" "Come get me, wizard coward!" "Wizard! You shall not hide!" "I'm tired of looking." "Merasmus, get your spectral ass out here!" "Come on out here, enchantress!" (apostrophe) "Oh hello Merlin, the famous magician! Nooo, I have not seen Merasmus. What's that? Nooo, I can't think of anyone who'd want an autograph." A reference to the wizard, Merlin, from Arthurian legend. (apostrophe) "Oh hello Gundorf! Where's Blasbo Babbins? Oh there he is! Everyone's here! Labalos, Gimpy, Dumpy, Snoopy...umm... Man, I wish Merasmus was around to see this magical turn of events!" Mispronunciation of the characters Gandalf, Bilbo Baggins, Legolas, and Gimli from J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. (apostrophe) "Oh look it's Houdini. What's that Hougenie? You looking for a new best friend? Too bad there's no wizards around... get out here Merasmus!"A reference to Harry Houdini, a renowned escape artist (apostrophe) "What's that Merasmus's favorite actor, Burt Lancaster? You think people who hide are cowards? Wise words, Burt Lancaster. You've convinced all of us...damn it Merasmus, get out here!" A reference to American actor Burt Lancaster, who was regarded as one of the greatest actors of the mid-twentieth century. (sing-song) "Merasmus!" "We give up, Merasmus! You're too scary for us! Now come on out so we can kick your ass!" "Oh no, I hope this scary wizard doesn't guess my card. "Merasmus! Stop taking jobs from American ghosts!" "Merasmus! I am going to pull a rabbit out of your ass!" "Merasmus! I will slap the magic out of your mouth!" "Merasmus! Take your voodoo back to Canada! Where it belongs!" "You wizard-ghost maggot!" "I will rip off your ghost head and crap in your stupid hat!" "I am going to kill you, Merasmus! Again!" "You are going down, you spell-casting maggot!" "Your magic is weak, wizard!" "Do not make me kill you again, Merasmus!" "I am going to haunt your ass with my foot!" "Tonight, your ass will be visited by three ghosts: my foot, my other foot, and a ghost!" "Let me give you some advice, son: Do not be a ghost!" "You are ten pounds of ghost crap in a five-pound dress!" "Son, you are a disgrace to the afterlife. You do not deserve to wear that magic dress." "I am not afraid of no ghosts! I refuse to be afraid of no ghosts!"

Miscellaneous

Falling in Bottomless Pit in Ghost Fort

(long scream) "Damn you, Merasmuuuuus! You are the worst roommaaaaaaaaate!"(fades)

Scared

"I am scared, you maggots!"

Helltower responses

Round Start

"This corpse has got to move, ladies!" "Let's move some roadkill!" "This bag of bones has a date with the devil, men! Our job is to arrange the meeting!"

Pushing the Cart

"Keep this dead man moving, maggots!" "This old man will not push himself to Hell, ladies!"

The Witching Hour: Bridge Appears

"It's the Witching Hour!" "Get to the island!!" "Let's get to the island!"

Collected Normal Spell

"Reporting for duty!" "I am having a heart attack!" "God bless America!"

Collected Ultimate Spell

"We are in a world of magic!" (screams) "Son of a cussing cuss word!"

Casting Spells

"Caputus crepitus!" "Pactum diabolus!" "Seismela tremoro!" "Barpo kabalto!" "Barpo invisium!" "Imputum fulmenus!" "Invokum monoculus!" "Amplus tripudio!" "Paidum celeris!" "Ipsum instantarium!" "Deus invictus!" "Mortis animataris!"

Duel-related responses

Starting a Duel

"Let's go!" "Time to inform your next of kin!" "If God had wanted you to live, he would not have created me!" "I am going to claw my way down your throat and tear out your very soul!" "I joined this team just to kill maggots like you." "I am going to strangle you with your own frilly training bra!"

Duel Accepted

"Booyah!" "Oh yeah." "Okay!" "Roger that!" "If you know what's good for ya, you will run!" "Affirmative!"

Duel Rejected

"I never liked you." "Boooooo..." "You are a spineless worm! You are a mistake of nature! You are walking vomit!"

Item-related responses

With Tin Soldier set equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Firing a weapon

"Beep beep!" "Beep boop!" "Bleep bloop!" "Beep-bop-boop!" "Blarp-a-barp!" "Beep beep boop!" "Robot noises!"

Killing an enemy

"Bleep, bloop. Maggot!" "Beep-bop-boop. Maggot!" "Beep beep boop. Maggot!" "I am a robot! I run on American jobs!" "The na-tur-al enemy of the robot is hippies!"

After Killing More than 1 Enemy in 20 Seconds with a Primary Weapon

"I am pro-grammed to be scary." "Hasta la vista! Feliz Navidad! Hasta gazpacho!" (Spanish for "Goodbye! Merry Christmas! Until gazpacho (Gazpacho is Spanish vegetable soup)!") "I run on blood! I take jobs from American vampires!" "I am a ro-bot! Bloop! What is love?" "Crush! Kill! Bleep!"

Buff Banner/Battalion's Backup/Concheror Activated

"I am a ro-bot! I am here to take American jobs!" "I am a ro-bot from the fu-ture!"

Round Start

"I am a robot! I am here to take American jobs!" "I am a ro-bot from the fu-ture!"

Domination

"I am a robot! I was built to scare you!" "I am a robot! I am pro-grammed to give you a sensible haircut!" "My foot will transform into a foot - with your ass wrapped around it!" "Scientists in the future have studied your ass for centuries - and sent me back in time to kick it!" "Come with me if you want to live. With me. In my apartment. I need a roommate." "I will find you. That's what I do. That's all I do. There you are! Shutting down." "I cannot be bargained with! I cannot be reasoned with! I do not know where I am! I am a robot, I don't understand anything!" "I will never feel pity, or remorse, or fear, or comfortable - in this costume."

Revenge Kill

"Beep boop, son. Beep boop." "Today is a good day." "Hehehyaaa!"

With Voodoo-Cursed Soldier Soul equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Idle

Only activated while wearing the Voodoo-Cursed Soldier Soul "I have returned from the grave to give the living haircuts." "BRAAAINS!" "Brains. Haircuts. Hippies. BRAAAAAINS!" "Brains!"

With Freedom Feathers equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Round Start

"Screaming eagle!" (long scream) "The eagle has landed! On my head!" "I am the perfect avian killing machine!" "Eagle head charge!" "Merasmus, I hate you!"

Domination

"Dominated, candy pants! This is Soldier, by the way. I have an eagle head right now." "Dominated! By the official bird of Livi, Montana! Eagle fact, maggot!" "Dominated! By the great seal of the United States of My Head!"

Set on Fire

(scream) "My head smells delicious!" "Ow, ow! Brawk! Fire!"

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

"Brark! Brark, brark, brark, braaaaarrrrk!" "The Great Eagle Scourge returns, hippies!"

With Larval Lid equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Idle

"Pay no attention to the top of this man's head!" "Do no look at this man's head! Go about your business!" "There is nothing unusual about this man's head!" "You are all maggots! Oop, sorry brain maggot I forgot you were there." "We're a good team, maggot! Yes we are, Soldier!" "I love you brain maggot, never leave!" "Surrender now maggots and you will not be harmed! It's just a metaphor, brain maggot." "You are a true American, brain maggot!" "Mwahaha! You said it, brain maggot!" "What's that, brain maggot? You're starving? Yeah, I'm hungry too."

Healed by Medic

"Ahh, my brain maggot's good as new!" "That was close. Don't you die on me, brain maggot!"

Domination

"If God had wanted you to live, He would not have made me a mindless puppet of this brain maggot!" "I joined this team just to kill maggots like you. Uh, not you, brain maggot."

Set on Fire

"Save yourself, brain maggot!" "Abandon head, brain maggot!"

Round Start

"Let's give 'em hell, brain maggot!" "Tennnnnn-hut!" You too, brain maggot! "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH THERE'S A MAGGOT EATING MY BRAIN!" "Can one of you look at the top of my head? It feels- Do not look at this man's head. Go about your business!" "Must find damp pile of leaves for brain maggot!"

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

"You're all maggots, you scum sucking fruit baskets! No offense, brain maggot." "You sissified maggot scum have just signed your death warrants! No offense, brain maggot"

With Spellbinder's Bonnet equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Domination

"Abra Kadabra! I just made all my bullets disappear into your chest cavity." "Wanna see a magic trick? Presto, you're dead!

With Magical Mercenary equipped

These responses override the default responses for that category.

Round Start

"In this man's unicorn army, you clomp your hooves when a superior officer addresses you!" "I am a pretty unicorn! I'm going to trot into the forest and pick each and every one of you maggots an arrangement of flowers! They will be lovely! Am I making myself clear?!" "Men, these are the facts as I understand them: One! I am the prettiest unicorn! Two! My mane is lustrous and fragrant, and it catches the wind perfectly! Dismissed!" "Let's get one thing straight: you are all pretty unicorns, but I am the prettiest unicorn! Did I stutter?!" "I am a unicorn! There are many unicorns like me, but I am the prettiest! Sound off like you've got a horn!" "I am the prettiest unicorn! My mane smells like lavender, and my horn grants wishes! Is that understood, maggots?!" (singing) "I don't know, but I been told: I'm a pretty unicorn!" "I am the prettiest unicorn!" "I am a unicorn, maggots!" "Sound off like you've got a horn!"

Domination

"Friendship is magic, creampuff." "This pretty pony just kicked a shiny, pink hoof up your ass!" "Salute the horn, not the man, son."

Unused Responses

Critical Rocket Launcher Kill

"Crocket!"

The Tin Soldier related responses

"It is a full moon! I have turned into a robot again! Awoo-ooh!" Encountering the Ghost: "Beep beep. I am scared." "Beep boop. I am terrified." "Oh no! That robot is a ghost!"

Dominating a Demoman

Note: Most lines spoken by the Soldier Robot are robotic versions of the lines above. However, the following lines have no human equivalent and are included here for completeness. They possibly hint at the Demoman's and the Soldier's friendship from the WAR! Update. "DOMINATED!" (sotto voce) "Call me later, we can talk about our day." "DOMINATED!" (sotto voce) "Boy, I have something I want to tell you about the Engineer. Call me later pal." "DOMINATED!" (sotto voce) "I cherish these moments we spend together." "DOMINATED!" (sotto voce) "I'm still your friend." "DOMINATED! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" (sotto voce) "Bye. See you soon."