Expiration Date

Expiration Date
Video Info
Released:	June 17, 2014
Run time:	14:58

Video Description

Engineer and Medic make an unsettling new discovery while experimenting with the teleporter. Meanwhile, Scout stops insulting Spy long enough to ask him an embarrassing favor; the Administrator's clerical assistant/cleaner/murder expert Miss Pauling races to bury some incriminating bodies; and Soldier makes a new metal friend.

Video Transcript

Expiration Date/transcript

Plot summary

As the Heavy, Scout, and Soldier return from a mission to capture a briefcase, Miss Pauling calls them to ask how the mission went. She is slightly irritated that they left witnesses that she has to take care of for them. After arriving back at the base, Scout tries to ask her out, but he is unable to think of anything to say to her.

At the base, they hear bad news from Engineer and Medic: teleporting bread results in large green tumours inside, leading them to conclude that the mercs have the tumours as well, and will all die. The Medic estimates that each team member has about three days left to live. Engineer provides each team member with a wrist watch that will count down to the time of the mercenaries' demises.

In face of this news, Spy decides to collect a bucket list in a literal bucket. Spy delegated the task of collecting wishes to Scout, who has filled it with drawings of the Spy being hit by a car and having a romantic relationship with the Eiffel Tower. Spy remarks that his time has been wasted, and angrily bids the team farewell.

Afterwards, Scout comes to Spy's smoking room to apologize and seek his help. He confides that he did have a real wish for the bucket list: a date with Miss Pauling. Scout admits to Spy that while he himself is good with girls, he is vastly outclassed by Spy when it comes to ladies. Scout then admits Spy is better than him, and Spy demands that broadcast around the base as payment for his services.

Spy agrees to coach Scout in how to behave around a lady. While Scout shows some progress, Spy ultimately declares Scout a failure.

With two hours left on his death watch, Scout decides to take things into his own hands. He calls Miss Pauling to the base by pressing the alarm button for the briefcase being stolen. She hurriedly arrives on the scene, but is infuriated upon learning that the briefcase is actually secure.

Meanwhile, Medic and Engineer have come to the conclusion that the growths in the bread are, in fact, not tumors at all, but a self-aware organism that can only spread in pure wheat. This means none of the mercs have tumours, and are not going to die. They inform the team that they are fine as long as no more bread has been teleported; Soldier then announces that he has been doing nothing but that for the past three days.

Upset at Scout for wasting her “one day off a year”, Miss Pauling begins to leave. As Scout attempts to get her to stay, they are confronted by a giant bread monster. A fight breaks out, with the mercenaries rushing to their aid. One of the Medic's pet doves ends up eaten by the monster, followed by the Soldier.

During the fight, Miss Pauling attempts to blow up the monster by using a Payload cart, strapping the Scout's death watch to it to serve as a timer. As Scout attempts to help her, she and Scout end up trapped on the wrong side of the blast doors as the bomb is about to blow up. The two notice that the dove that the monster ate is flying harmlessly out of the mouth of the monster. They wordlessly agree to jump into the mouth of the monster.

Stunned by the blast, Miss Pauling and Scout painfully but quickly recover inside the bread monster. Once she recovers, Miss Pauling admits that the experience was fun. Scout tells her about the death prognosis just as the two are helped out of the remains of the bread monster. The Medic informs them of the fact that only bread mutates and that they will all be fine (After the Soldier states that they will live forever).

The story ends with Scout trying to get another date, but Miss Pauling having to decline due to already having spent her one day of vacation this year. She does, however, offer Scout to come along at work, though he declines each task Pauling lists until she comes to the task of killing the one who pulled the briefcase alarm, which Scout will already be at.

Notes

• The title card displays "COPYRIGHT LOLOLOL" on the bottom right corner, a recurring joke throughout the "Meet the Team" videos.
• Ashly Burch, the voice of Miss Pauling, also helped write some of the short.
• This is the first Valve-made TF2 short to feature Miss Pauling, and the second to feature characters apart from the RED and BLU team (the first being the Second Annual Saxxy Awards trailer.)
• Nolan North voices the Engineer's new lines, as the original voice actor, Grant Goodeve, was unavailable.
• The BLU Soldier is missing from the roof of the van during the opening scene, and only appears once the van approaches the base.
• The team responsible for the 2013 Best Overall Saxxy award-winning short, Lil' Guardian Pyro, helped animate a small section of Expiration Date.
• The Scout line, "Classic Scout", was improvised by voice actor Nathan Vetterlein as detailed in his Twitch Stream.^{[citation needed]}
• Nathan Vetterlein said he worked very closely with Ashly Burch during the short's creation.^{[citation needed]}
• The location of the RED Base is in an edited version of the map Hydro.
• The RED Bread van's hood ornament reads 'Sword'. This is a reference to the "Sword Van" comic from KC Green's "Custom Comix".
• At 0:52, the "1" on the van's number panel is visibly worn out. This is a reference to "Meet the Spy".
• The animation when Scout smiles and looks at Soldier at 3:02 is recycled seconds later at 3:05.
• At 4:16, the Sniper's watch floats in front of his waist instead of being strapped to his left wrist. This is most likely a mistake in model posing.
• At 6:04, a painting can be seen behind the Spy of him riding an unicorn. This painting is a parody of Napoleon Crossing the Alps, a painting by Jacques-Louis David originally featuring Napoleon Bonaparte.
• At 6:23, a lighter is floating under the comic the Pyro is holding, presumably originally intended to be in his hand, to try and light the comic on fire with. This is a reference to "Meet The Medic", in which the Pyro is also attempting to light a comic he's reading.
• When learning to dance, the Scout first performs the dance move from Tom Jones' song "It's Not Unusual".
• At 11:59 the Sniper Rifle uses the same firing sound as the AWPer Hand instead of its default firing sound.
• At 12:03-12:37, the Heavy's default Minigun firing sound changes to the Tomislav's firing sound instead. Then changes back to its default firing sound at 12:38.
• Engineer is seen from 1:36-2:51 wearing "Tools of the Trade", an item on the Steam Workshop. This item has not yet been accepted for use in-game.
• At 12:58, Miss Pauline reaches behind her back and pulls out a Derringer. This item is not available in-game.