Meet the Spy

Meet the Spy
Video Info
Released:	May 19, 2009
Run time:	3:20

Video Transcript

Transcript

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background] The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!" [Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board] Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?" [Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes] The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!" Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!" [Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door] Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?" [The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination] Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!" Scout: Let's go, let's go- [BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier] Heavy: "INCOMING!" [Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe.] Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!" Heavy: AAAAalright then. Spy: "Ahem." [Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.] Spy: "Gentlemen." [Meet the Spy' Title Card] [Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.] Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe." Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm." Scout: "Yeah, it is!" Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?" [The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug] Spy: No? Then we still have a problem. [He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.] Soldier: "...and a Knife." [The Scout approaches and removes the knife.] Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!" [The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.] Scout: "Ow! No offense." Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building." Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?" Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling) [The Spy turns to face the Scout.] Spy: "No... that would be your mother!" [The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Mother.] Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief] Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today." [Right Behind You plays] [The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.] Soldier: Oh! [The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.] Scout: "Gimme dat!" Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..." [Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately] Engineer: "Sentry Down!" [The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.] [Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.] Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!" [Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately backstabbed.] [Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room] Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..." [Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.] Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)" [The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.] Medic: (gasps) [The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.] [Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.] Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-" [The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.] Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Heavy: "Oh!" Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..." [The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.] Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood." [The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy] Heavy: "So, we still got problem..." Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?" Spy: "Right behind you." [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.] [Petite Chou-Fleur plays] [Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.] Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur." [The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow.]

Leak

"Meet the Spy" was leaked on May 17, 2009 due to a YouTube bug which allowed iPhones to view videos marked as "Private." This inspired a series of posts on the official blog, and Valve awarded themselves a "Corporate Achievement" called "Welcome to the internets," with the description "Fail to understand what Private means on YouTube." In the officially released version, one of the alert panels reads "Leaked Video." It originally read "Lost Memory."

Notes

• The tracks Right Behind You, Petite Chou-Fleur and Intruder Alert were featured in this video, after which they were patched into the game's main menu soundtrack.

• When the Red Spy kills the Medic, it is possible to see an Half-Life 2 box.

• The alarm bell and signal board at the beginning is an "Alarm-O-Tron 5000". These alerts are displayed below. The alerts in bold display the specific warnings which were activated and lit during the video.

Emergency	On Cap	Intruder Alert	Is Fired	BLU Demoman	Depressed
All Clear	RED Scout	Exploding	On Fire	BLU Engineer	About to Explode
Vaporized	Team Update	New Mission	On Break	BLU Sniper	Is Drunk
In Surgery	Needs a Ride	RED Medic	RED Heavy	RED Pyro	Defenestrated
Smells	RED Sniper	Drowned	Behind You	Is a Man	Owns Base
Backstabbed	Stole a Car	BLU Spy	Found Dracula	Is a Woman	BLU Soldier
Again	Hit by Train	RED Engineer	Lost Briefcase	RED Demoman	Above You!
Is a Robot	Look Out	Sabotage	Needs Ammo	On Toilet	Electrocuted
BLU Scout	Has Evil Twin	Red Spy	RED Soldier	Pushing Cart	In Base
RED Spy	BLU Medic	Sleeping	Wounded	Needs Backup	Exploded
Hungry	Leaked Video	BLU Heavy	BLU Pyro	Smothered	Jarate
Has Briefcase	Outside Base	Needs Roommate	Mangled	Opened Briefcase	Lost Dracula

• The Alarm-O-Tron 5000 board makes an appearance in the map Double Cross in a locked-off room beside the Intelligence room.

• The video takes place in a modified version of the 2Fort map, with most of the action occurring in BLU's Intelligence room.

• On the corkboard next to the filing cabinets, a photo of Saxton Hale (CEO of Mann Co.) can be seen.

• The French phrase spoken by at the end is "Ah, ma petite chou-fleur," literally meaning "Ah, my little cauliflower." In French, the phrase is used as an endearment toward loved ones.

• The Sniper is seen wearing the Trophy Belt. This was a teaser, as hats had not been revealed when the video came out. This was one of the several hat teasers during this trailer, including the Heavy's Football Helmet which can be seen early in the video on top of a filing cabinet in the Intelligence room.