User:Wallacethewalrus

Wallacethewalrus
Basic information
Icon:
Type:	Chucklehead
Health:	9 / 3,000,000 with GOOD OL' FASHIONED COLA.
Speed:	1% / 8000% with GOOD OL' FASHIONED COLA.

Quote of the Month

“

Holy shit guys, KIDDIE LAAAAND! I wanna ride one! Just one! — Ellis, embracing his inner child

”

Primary weapons of doom

"BLAM BLAM! BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM! BLAM BLAM!" Level BLAM Gun +9,000,000,000,000,000,000,000% Clip size +9,001% damage done +9,000,000,000,000,000,000,000% Primary ammo on wearer Melee weapons "DAH BOOMSTICK" Level 9,000,000,000 Boomstick Kills all players on the field except for you Destroys all buildings on the field + 1,000,000 max health on wearer +10 seconds of charge duration -100% ammo carried for all weapons -100% clip size for all weapons Shit just got serious "Dat' Axe" Level -5 Axe You'll get the girls with "Dat' Axe". You go fckin insane when you use it "Saxton Hales' Fists" Level #@$1AbZ##! Fists SAXTON HAAAAAAALE! "Big Fckin Knife" Level 0 Big Knife it's really fckin big "Magic Pick-axe" Level infinity Pickaxe It's made from magic metal mined by dwarves. "Dat' Club" It's to awesome to have a level Haters will hate "Gaben's Saw" Level three Saw On hit: delays Episode Three On miss: doesn't delay Episode Three This weapon never misses it's target. EVER. "Divider By Zero" Level divided by zero Fist Divides by zero when used "Dosh Knife" Level DOSH Knife IT'S RAINING MUNNAY!!. User Box This user is a Scout. “I'm battin' a thousand!” This user oughta' be on a baseball card! This user owns the Lugermorph. This user owns the Iron Curtain. This user owns the Dangeresque, Too? This user owns the License to Maim. This user owns the Enthusiast's Timepiece. Has this user ever told you about the time they got Ellis' Cap? This user owns the Frying Pan. This user owns the Athletic Supporter. This user owns the Superfan. This user owns the Essential Accessories. This user owns the Cadaver's Cranium. This user owns the Horseless Headless Horsemann's Head. This user is a Special Delivery Scout. This user is a Croc-o-Style Sniper. This user is a Gas Jockey Pyro. This user is a Saharan Spy. This user is a Tank Buster Soldier. This user is a Hibernating Bear Heavy. This user is an Expert's Ordnance Demoman. This user is a Medieval Medic. This user avenged their fallen Sentry a ridiculous number of times in one life! This user is a Mercenary. This user owns a Bronze Dueling Badge. This user is American, pardner! This user prefers Half-Life 1. This user likes Half-Life 2. g This user plays Garry's Mod. This user plays poker with a gamer, a support specialist, a wrestleman, and a lagomorph. This user fought off the zombie apocalypse with a gambler, a coach, a rambling mechanic, and a reporter. This user likes to make invertebrates blow each other up with absurd weapons. This user enjoys killing zombies and grabbin' dosh. "Loads o' money!" This user has succumbed to death by a fetus in a jar, with a monocle and a hat. This user has an Xbox 360, but you can't have their gamertag. This user plays TF2 with a mouse. This user owns a Genuine Sun-On-A-Stick. This user owns a Genuine Sharpened Volcano Fragment. This user owns the Horrific Headsplitter. This user owns the Haunted Metal Scrap. This user likes to edit articles in teeny baby bits. This user thoroughly enjoyed the Engineer Update! This user is an offensineer. "You ladies shoulda' oughta' brought some menfolk with ya." This user is credit to team?... “Nope” This user HATES Spies. This user is a Heavy Hater. "Eat it, fatty!" This user is eagerly awaiting the release of Kinect Spycrab. This user vigorously mashes F5 upon any new TF2 update. This user remembers it so you don't have to. Hats and weapons I have hardly any hats because I am POOR AND IRISH. I shall now show you my vast collection of items, and after that I shall go cry myself to sleep because of my lack of hats. I also crafted away half my backpack looking for the new weapons which is why we need crafting recipies for the shogun weapons I WANT ALL MY WEAPONS BACK! Weapon Checklist Scout Primary Force-A-Nature Australium Force-A-Nature Shortstop Soda Popper Back Scatter Baby Face's Blaster Festive Scattergun Australium Scattergun Blood Botkiller Scattergun Mk.I Carbonado Botkiller Scattergun Mk.I Diamond Botkiller Scattergun Mk.I Silver Botkiller Scattergun Mk.I Silver Botkiller Scattergun Mk.II Gold Botkiller Scattergun Mk.I Gold Botkiller Scattergun Mk.II Rust Botkiller Scattergun Mk.I Secondary Bonk! Atomic Punch Lugermorph Crit-a-Cola Mad Milk Winger Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol Flying Guillotine Festive Bonk! Atomic Punch Mutated Milk C.A.P.P.E.R Festive Pistol Melee Sandman Holy Mackerel Candy Cane Boston Basher Sun-On-A-Stick Fan O'War Three-Rune Blade Atomizer Batsaber Unarmed Combat Wrap Assassin Festive Bat Festive Holy Mackerel Soldier Primary Direct Hit Black Box Rocket Jumper Liberty Launcher Cow Mangler 5000 Original Festive Rocket Launcher Beggar's Bazooka Air Strike Silver Botkiller Rocket Launcher Mk.I Gold Botkiller Rocket Launcher Mk.I Rust Botkiller Rocket Launcher Mk.I Blood Botkiller Rocket Launcher Mk.I Carbonado Botkiller Rocket Launcher Mk.I Diamond Botkiller Rocket Launcher Mk.I Silver Botkiller Rocket Launcher Mk.II Gold Botkiller Rocket Launcher Mk.II Australium Rocket Launcher Australium Black Box Secondary Buff Banner Gunboats Battalion's Backup Concheror Mantreads Reserve Shooter Righteous Bison Festive Buff Banner B.A.S.E. Jumper Panic Attack Melee Equalizer Pain Train Half-Zatoichi Disciplinary Action Market Gardener Escape Plan Pyro Primary Backburner Degreaser Phlogistinator Festive Flame Thrower Rainblower Silver Botkiller Flame Thrower Mk.I Gold Botkiller Flame Thrower Mk.I Rust Botkiller Flame Thrower Mk.I Dragon's Fury Nostromo Napalmer Blood Botkiller Flame Thrower Mk.I Carbonado Botkiller Flame Thrower Mk.I Diamond Botkiller Flame Thrower Mk.I Silver Botkiller Flame Thrower Mk.II Gold Botkiller Flame Thrower Mk.II Australium Flame Thrower Secondary Flare Gun Detonator Reserve Shooter Manmelter Scorch Shot Thermal Thruster Gas Passer Panic Attack Melee Axtinguisher Homewrecker Powerjack Back Scratcher Sharpened Volcano Fragment Maul Postal Pummeler Third Degree Hot Hand Lollichop Neon Annihilator Festive Axtinguisher Australium Axtinguisher Demoman Primary Loch-n-Load Ali Baba's Wee Booties Bootlegger Loose Cannon Festive Grenade Launcher B.A.S.E. Jumper Iron Bomber Australium Grenade Launcher Secondary Chargin' Targe Scottish Resistance Sticky Jumper Splendid Screen Tide Turner Quickiebomb Launcher Festive Stickybomb Launcher Silver Botkiller Stickybomb Launcher Mk.I Gold Botkiller Stickybomb Launcher Mk.I Rust Botkiller Stickybomb Launcher Mk.I Blood Botkiller Stickybomb Launcher Mk.I Carbonado Botkiller Stickybomb Launcher Mk.I Diamond Botkiller Stickybomb Launcher Mk.I Silver Botkiller Stickybomb Launcher Mk.II Gold Botkiller Stickybomb Launcher Mk.II Australium Stickybomb Launcher Festive Chargin' Targe Melee Eyelander Pain Train Scotsman's Skullcutter Horseless Headless Horsemann's Headtaker Ullapool Caber Claidheamh Mòr Half-Zatoichi Persian Persuader Nessie's Nine Iron Scottish Handshake Festive Eyelander Australium Eyelander Heavy Primary Natascha Iron Curtain Brass Beast Tomislav Festive Minigun Huo-Long Heater Silver Botkiller Minigun Mk.I Gold Botkiller Minigun Mk.I Rust Botkiller Minigun Mk.I Blood Botkiller Minigun Mk.I Carbonado Botkiller Minigun Mk.I Diamond Botkiller Minigun Mk.I Silver Botkiller Minigun Mk.II Gold Botkiller Minigun Mk.II Australium Minigun Australium Tomislav Secondary Sandvich Dalokohs Bar Buffalo Steak Sandvich Fishcake Family Business Robo-Sandvich Festive Sandvich Second Banana Panic Attack Melee Killing Gloves of Boxing Gloves of Running Urgently Warrior's Spirit Fists of Steel Eviction Notice Apoco-Fists Holiday Punch Bread Bite Engineer Primary Frontier Justice Widowmaker Pomson 6000 Rescue Ranger Festive Frontier Justice Australium Frontier Justice Panic Attack Secondary Lugermorph Wrangler Short Circuit C.A.P.P.E.R Festive Wrangler Giger Counter Melee Golden Wrench Gunslinger Southern Hospitality Jag Eureka Effect Festive Wrench Silver Botkiller Wrench Mk.I Gold Botkiller Wrench Mk.I Rust Botkiller Wrench Mk.I Blood Botkiller Wrench Mk.I Carbonado Botkiller Wrench Mk.I Diamond Botkiller Wrench Mk.I Silver Botkiller Wrench Mk.II Gold Botkiller Wrench Mk.II Australium Wrench Medic Primary Blutsauger Crusader's Crossbow Overdose Australium Blutsauger Secondary Kritzkrieg Quick-Fix Festive Medi Gun Silver Botkiller Medi Gun Mk.I Gold Botkiller Medi Gun Mk.I Rust Botkiller Medi Gun Mk.I Blood Botkiller Medi Gun Mk.I Carbonado Botkiller Medi Gun Mk.I Diamond Botkiller Medi Gun Mk.I Vaccinator Silver Botkiller Medi Gun Mk.II Gold Botkiller Medi Gun Mk.II Australium Medi Gun Melee Übersaw Vita-Saw Amputator Solemn Vow Festive Ubersaw Sniper Primary Huntsman Sydney Sleeper Bazaar Bargain Machina Festive Sniper Rifle Hitman's Heatmaker Silver Botkiller Sniper Rifle Mk.I Gold Botkiller Sniper Rifle Mk.I Shooting Star Classic AWPer Hand Rust Botkiller Sniper Rifle Mk.I Blood Botkiller Sniper Rifle Mk.I Carbonado Botkiller Sniper Rifle Mk.I Diamond Botkiller Sniper Rifle Mk.I Festive Huntsman Silver Botkiller Sniper Rifle Mk.II Gold Botkiller Sniper Rifle Mk.II Australium Sniper Rifle Fortified Compound Secondary Jarate Razorback Darwin's Danger Shield Cozy Camper Cleaner's Carbine Australium SMG Festive Jarate Self-Aware Beauty Mark Melee Tribalman's Shiv Bushwacka Shahanshah Spy Secondary Ambassador Big Kill L'Etranger Enforcer Diamondback Festive Ambassador Australium Ambassador Melee Your Eternal Reward Conniver's Kunai Big Earner Wanga Prick Sharp Dresser Spy-cicle Black Rose Festive Knife Silver Botkiller Knife Mk.I Gold Botkiller Knife Mk.I Rust Botkiller Knife Mk.I Blood Botkiller Knife Mk.I Carbonado Botkiller Knife Mk.I Diamond Botkiller Knife Mk.I Silver Botkiller Knife Mk.II Gold Botkiller Knife Mk.II Australium Knife PDA 2 Dead Ringer Cloak and Dagger Enthusiast's Timepiece Quäckenbirdt Building Festive Sapper Red-Tape Recorder Ap-Sap Snack Attack All classes Melee Frying Pan† Saxxy Conscientious Objector† Freedom Staff† Bat Outta Hell† Memory Maker† Ham Shank† Golden Frying Pan Necro Smasher‡ Prinny Machete Crossing Guard† Key  Obtained  Wanted  Unobtained  Previously but no longer possessed † Usable by all classes except Engineer and Spy ‡ Usable by all classes except Spy Hat Checklist Scout Batter's Helmet Bonk Helm Ye Olde Baker Boy Baseball Bill's Sports Shine Troublemaker's Tossle Cap Whoopee Cap Milkman Bombing Run Flipped Trilby Superfan Hero's Tail El Jefe Backwards Ballcap Hermes Hot Dogger Wrap Battler Big Elfin Deal Front Runner Cross-Comm Express Fed-Fightin' Fedora Void Monk Hair Robot Running Man Crafty Hair Hanger-On Hood Wilson Weave Bonk Leadwear Bot Dogger Ye Oiled Baker Boy Soldier Soldier's Stash Tyrant's Helm Stainless Pot Killer's Kabuto Sergeant's Drill Hat Lumbricus Lid Grenadier's Softcap Chieftain's Challenge Stout Shako Dr's Dapper Topper Exquisite Rack Defiant Spartan Hero's Hachimaki Honcho's Headgear Brain Bucket Team Captain Furious Fukaamigasa Jumper's Jeepcap Armored Authority Lord Cockswain's Pith Helmet Stahlhelm Hat With No Name Salty Dog Idiot Box Infernal Impaler Lucky Shot Conquistador Battle Bob Cross-Comm Crash Helmet Helmet Without a Home Tin Pot Crafty Hair War Pig Zipperface Chief Constable Soldier's Slope Scopers Doe-Boy Full Metal Drill Hat Steel Shako Tyrantium Helmet Pyro Pyro's Beanie Brigade Helm Respectless Rubber Glove Triboniophorus Tyrannus Vintage Merryweather Attendant Old Guadalajara Napper's Respite Handyman's Handle Madame Dixie Pyromancer's Mask Prancer's Pride Dead Cone Hottie's Hoodie Connoisseur's Cap Stately Steel Toe Birdcage Little Buddy Flamboyant Flamenco Blazing Bull Bubble Pipe Head Warmer Waxy Wayfinder Triclops Area 451 Wraith Wrap DethKapp Person in the Iron Mask Necronomicrown Bolted Birdcage Electric Escorter Firewall Helmet Metal Slug Plumber's Pipe Pyro's Boron Beanie Respectless Robo-Glove Demoman Demoman's Fro Glengarry Bonnet Scotsman's Stove Pipe Hustler's Hallmark Tippler's Tricorne Sober Stuntman Carouser's Capotain Rimmed Raincatcher Scotch Bonnet Prince Tavish's Crown Samur-Eye Private Eye Reggaelator Conjurer's Cowl Sultan's Ceremonial Tam O' Shanter Mask of the Shaman Tavish DeGroot Experience Buccaneer's Bicorne Hair of the Dog Bolgan Grenadier Helm K-9 Mane Voodoo JuJu (Slight Return) Wilson Weave Bolted Bicorne Broadband Bonnet Cyborg Stunt Helmet FR-0 Pure Tin Capotain Strontium Stove Pipe Heavy Football Helmet Officer's Ushanka Tough Guy's Toque Hound Dog Heavy Duty Rag Pugilist's Protector Hard Counter Cadaver's Cranium Dealer's Visor Coupe D'isaster Big Chief Magnificent Mongolian Dread Knot Team Captain Capo's Capper Copper's Hard Top Pilotka Dragonborn Helmet Storm Spirit's Jolly Hat Gym Rat One-Man Army Outdoorsman Can Opener War Head U-clank-a Crafty Hair Soviet Gentleman Heavy Artillery Officer's Cap K-9 Mane Grand Duchess Tiara Brock's Locks Carl Pounding Father Wilson Weave Bunsen Brave Gridiron Guardian Tungsten Toque Engineer Mining Light Texas Ten Gallon Engineer's Cap Texas Slim's Dome Shine Hotrod Safe'n'Sound Buckaroo's Hat Industrial Festivizer Big Country Professor's Peculiarity Hetman's Headpiece Western Wear Ol' Geezer Clockwerk's Helm Pencil Pusher Virtual Reality Headset Buzz Killer Tin-1000 Crafty Hair Master Mind Barnstormer Last Straw Vox Diabolus Wilson Weave Data Mining Light Plug-In Prospector Texas Tin-Gallon Timeless Topper Medic Prussian Pickelhaube Vintage Tyrolean Otolaryngologist's Mirror Physician's Procedure Mask Ze Goggles Gentleman's Gatsby Berliner's Bucket Helm German Gonzila Geisha Boy Medic's Mountain Cap Grimm Hatte Private Eye Team Captain Doctor's Sack Planeswalker Helm Surgeon's Stahlhelm Einstein Gentleman's Ushanka Crafty Hair Combat Medic's Crusher Cap Wilson Weave Halogen Head Lamp Platinum Pickelhaube Titanium Tyrolean Virus Doctor Sniper Trophy Belt Professional's Panama Master's Yellow Belt Ritzy Rick's Hair Fixative Shooter's Sola Topi Bloke's Bucket Hat Ol' Snaggletooth Larrikin Robin Crocleather Slouch Desert Marauder Anger Your Worst Nightmare Swagman's Swatter Holy Hunter Bushman's Boonie Fruit Shoot Flamingo Kid Liquidator's Lid Lone Star Bolted Bushman Stovepipe Sniper Shako Cold Killer Sydney Straw Boat Bloodhound Letch's LED Shooter's Tin Topi Soldered Sensei Spy Fancy Fedora Backbiter's Billycock Magistrate's Mullet Frenchman's Beret Familiar Fez Détective Noir Private Eye Charmer's Chapeau Janissary Ketche Cosa Nostra Cap Nanobalaclava Counterfeit Billycock L'Inspecteur Under Cover Dashin' Hashshashin Ninja Cowl Stealth Steeler Hat of Cards Lacking Moral Fiber Mask Bloodhound Base Metal Billycock Bootleg Base Metal Billycock All classes Cheater's Lament Ghastly Gibus Mildly Disturbing Halloween Mask Bill's Hat Modest Pile of Hat Noble Amassment of Hats Towering Pillar of Hats Max's Severed Head Alien Swarm Parasite Mann Co. Cap Wiki Cap Ellis' Cap Ghastlier Gibus Halloween Masks Saxton Hale Mask Horseless Headless Horsemann's Head Voodoo Juju Spine-Chilling Skull Horrific Headsplitter Treasure Hunt Hat A Rather Festive Tree World Traveler's Hat Athletic Supporter Humanitarian's Hachimaki Benefactor's Kanmuri Magnanimous Monarch Aperture Labs Hard Hat Frontline Field Recorder Lo-Fi Longwave Spiral Sallet Proof of Purchase Summer Hat Company Man Party Hat Killer Exclusive Manniversary Paper Hat Ghastlierest Gibus Seal Mask MONOCULUS! Spine-Chilling Skull 2011 Point and Shoot Top Notch B.M.O.C. Brown Bomber Ebenezer Full Head Of Steam Holiday Headcase Warsworn Helmet Dueler Philateler Gifting Man From Gifting Land Bolt Action Blitzer Gentle Munitionne of Leisure Robot Chicken Hat Human Cannonball Ghostly Gibus Skull Island Topper Crone's Dome Executioner Cockfighter That '70s Chapeau Mann Co. Online Cap Antlers Tough Stuff Muffs Brütal Bouffant TF2VRH Conspiracy Cap Public Accessor Galvanized Gibus Modest Metal Pile of Scrap Noble Nickel Amassment of Hats Towering Titanium Pillar of Hats Key  Obtained  Wanted  Unobtained  Previously but no longer possessed other stuff that nobody cares about Loadouts Name Primary Secondary Melee Hat Misc. Description Summertime Scout Scattergun Bonk! Atomic Punch Vintage Sandman Summer Hat Flip-Flops Have some fun by shooting firecrackers at your friends with that firecraker launcher, then relizing that firecracker launcher was NOT a firecracker launcher but rather, a sawn-off shotgun! And on a hot summers day, you always need a coll refreshing drink to escape unscathed from those beach scuffles, or just have a picnic with your friends. And play some baseball with your friends! Who cares if you hit them on the head and they lose consciousness, that means you can get in a few cheap shots with that, "firecracker launcher"! And you can't go anywhere without that stylish beach gear! Gettin' High Off Your Own Supply Black Box Concheror Frying Pan Exquisite Rack License to Maim Along with the buff of the Concheror and the healing of the Black Box you get DOUBLE THE HEALING POWER, AWWWW YEAH. Thousand year reign of blood Backburner Shotgun Back Scratcher Attendant License to Maim It's self explanitory.