Medic responses

Voice Responses are contextually triggered voice responses that play after the player has achieved something, for example killing a certain amount of enemies with a primary or melee weapon, or has triggered something, for example being set on fire. The Medic has several vocal responses, all of which are listed below (excluding voice commands).

Kill-related responses

After killing more than 1 Enemy in 20 seconds with a Primary or Melee weapon

"Eins, zwei, drei... Ugh, I do not think ve brought enough body bags." (Translation: "One, two, three...") "Haha! Vat a bloodbasz!"

After killing more than 3 Enemies in 20 seconds with a Primary or Melee weapon

"Zat vas doktor-assisted homicide!" "Ze healing is not as revarding as ze hurting." "Oops! Zat was not medicine!" "Can you feel ze Schadenfreude?" ("Schadenfreude" is a German compound noun referring to the taking of pleasure in the pain of others.)

Melee Kill

(Quietly) Did zat sting? (Louder) Saw-ry! ("Sorry" with extra emphasis on first syllable)

Kill assist

"Danke, Kamerad!" (German for "Thanks, Comrade!") "Ve did it, Kamerad!"

Domination-related responses

Domination

"Would you like a second opinion? You are also ugly!" Long laugh Long laugh 2 Happy laugh Happy laugh 2 Happy laugh 3 "Come over here. I promise I will heal you!" Evil laugh Evil laugh 2 Short laugh

Revenge Kill

"Stupendous!" "Schweinhunds." "Schweinhunds!" "Dummkopfs!"

Event-related Responses

Round Start

"Raus, Raus!" (Translation: "Go, Go!") "Forward!" "Heil, us!" (Translation: "Hail, us!") "Hyaaaa!" "Horrido!" (German Hunting/War cry) "Gesundheit!" (Translation: "To your health!"/"Bless you" [Sarcastic])

Sudden Death

"Fess..." (Translation: "So tired...") "Iz zere a point to your lives?" "My skill is VASTED on zis team!" "DUMMKOPFS!"(Translation: "Idiots!") "Booo!" "You are trying my patience!" "Teeeeeeam!" (Likely a reference to Colonel Klink's "Schuuuulllllttttz!" from Hogan's Heroes.) "Velcome to the 've lose vonce again'-fest." "Ach, was ist los?" (Translation: "Gah, what's the matter?") "From now on, losing is verboten!" (Translation: "Forbidden") "Schweinhunds!" (Translation: "Pig-dogs!")

Stalemate

"Zis... is unacceptable!" "Anyone still alive has let me down!" "Dawww..." "Schweinhunds!" (Again, the grammatically correct version is "Schweinehunde!") "Awwww..." "Aiii..." "Hawww!"

Set on Fire

"Fire, fire, fire!" "Fiiiiire!" "I am on fire!" "Everyone, I am on fire!" "I am melting!" (A reference to the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz.)

On Death

*Dying scream* *Dying scream* *Dying scream* *Dying scream*

Destruction(s)

"Good to go!" "Did ze Fräuleins have zeir Mittelschmerz?" (Literal translation: "Did the ladies have their menstrual cramps?")

Hit by Jarate or Mad Milk

"Raaah..." "MNAAH!" "Awwww..." "Aiii..." "Hawww!"

Teleportation

"Danke, Engineer!" "Danke, mein (my) hard-hatted friend!" "Zank you, Engineer!"

Healed by Medic

"Zank you, Herr Doktor!" "Danke, Herr Doktor!"

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

"Ze healing is not as rewarding as ze hurting." "Ze healing leaves little time for ze hurting." "Good to go!"

Initiating High Five! taunt

"Jawohl." (Translation: "Yes sir!")

Successful High Five! taunt

"Excellent!"

Objective-related responses

After capturing Intelligence

"How embarrassing. Zey let a man of science escape with ze papers!" "Papers, please." "Vere are your precious papers now, Dummkopfs?"

After capturing control point

"Anuhza successful procedure!" "Zey are veakened!" "I am prepared to do vatever it takes!"

Standing on captured point, firing weapon

"Get on ze point, Dummkopf!" "Stand on ze point, Schweinhund!" "Idiot, get on ze point!" "Idiot, stand on ze point!" "Standing near ze point does nussing. Get on ze point, Dummkopf!"

Defense

"Schweinhunds." "Ha!" "I am ze Übermensch!" (Translation: "I am the Overlord/Superman!", most likely an allusion to Nietzsche's Übermensch) "Oktoberfest!" "Vell done!" "It looks like Dummkopffest!"

Mann vs. Machine responses

Setup/Between Waves

Ready to play

"Ready!" "I cannot vait, hah!"

Ready to play, but other players are not

"Who is not ready?"

Wave finished, near an Upgrade Station

"I should upgrade." "Get to an Upgrade Station, schnell!" "Upgrade! Uppengraden everyvun!" ("Uppengraden" is not a real word.)

After accessing an Upgrade Station

"Ooh, much better." "I feel like a million Deutschmarks!" (Correct German would be "Deutsche Mark".) (Laughs) "I am a god." "Oh, I am going to murder so many robots."

During a Wave

Collecting Credits

"Come on! Collect zhe money!" "Free money! Free money!" "Everyvun! Freee money!" "Ooh, money!"

Teammate places a Sapper on a Robot

"Sapping a robot." "Zhe robot is sapped."

Enemy Sniper

"Sniper!"

Sentry Buster incoming

"Sentry Buster!"

Sentry Buster destroyed

"Sentry Buster is destroyed!"

Bomb dropped

"Zhe bomb is clear." "Zhe bomb carrier is down."

Bomb picked up

"Bomb!" "Zhey have a bomb!" "Another bomb!"

Bomb carrier upgrades

"Zhe bomb carrier is looking angry!" "Zhe bomb carrier is getting angrier!" "Zhe bomb carrier is furious!"

Giant Robot deployed

"Überbot!"

Giant Robot picks up bomb

"The Überbot has a bomb!"

Giant Robot is destroyed

"Zhe Überbot is destroyed."

Tank incoming

"Taaank!"

Tank in Alert Zone

"Zhe Tank is dropping a bomb!"

Shooting at Tank

"Shoot zhe Tank!" "Kill zhat Tank!" "Shoot at ein Kraftmaschine!" (Translation: "Shoot at [the] machine!")

Teammate is killed

"Scout is dead!" "Soldier is dead!" "Pyro is dead!" "Demo is dead!" "Heavy is dead!" "Engie is dead!" "Medic is dead!" "Sniper is dead!" "Spy is dead!"

All other teammates are dead

Laughs "It's just you and me, robots!"

Miscellaneous

"Oh, I vill tear you apart, bolt by bolt!"

After a Wave

Won

"Ve have done it!" "Robots, haha!" Hysterical laughter "Death to robots!"

Lost

"Oh, zhis is not gut." "Ach, ve deserve to lose." "Zhe flesh is veak." "Robots are our masters."

Halloween / Full Moon responses

Wheel of Fate outcomes

Big Head fate

"Ooh. Big head." "Fascinating."

Small Head fate

"Ooh! Tiny little head!" "Haha! Ooh! I have no head!"

Whammy fate (Bleeding variant)

"My-my blood is entirely out of my body. Vhat a curious feeling!"

Positive fate

"Ooh. Interesting" "Ooh. Zhis is exciting!" "Oh ho hoh! I have been in zhe wrong profession. I must learn zhis magic!" "Ooh. Vhat is happening now?" "Vhat a strange sensation!" "Wuh ho ho! Vhat a curious sensation!"

Negative fate

"Uhh. Uh-oh. Alright, zhis is actually really bad."

During battle with Merasmus

Merasmus appears

"Everybody! Attack ze vizard!" "Now! NOW! Attack ze vizard!" "I vill heal you! Attack ze vizard!"

Merasmus brings out Bombinomicon

"Hoh! Zhat book certainly seems angry!" "Uh hello! Magic book? Do you still have Demoman's eye? I'll trade you a heart for it!" "Hoh! Zhat book is full of bombs!" "So many bombs!" "Woo! What is zhat book doing?" "The vizard is charging!"

Successfully stun Merasmus

"I have so much power!" "I am full of magic!" "I am coming for you vizard!" "Ooh. I must learn how to do zhat."

Merasmus attempts to heal himself

"He's healing himself!" "KILL HIM! He's healing himself!"

Looking for Merasmus

"Vizard! Where are you?" "Vizard! Zhe sooner you come out, the sooner ve can kill you!" "Come out Merasmus! Ve have much to discuss!" "Come out Merasmus! Nothing vill happen to you. I svear!" (breathless laughter) "I can't...ve're going to kill you!" (more laughter) "Zhat vizard is hiding somevhere." "Merasmus?" "Vhere are you vizard?" "Vizard!" (evil laughter) (happy laughter) "Oh. Magic. Ghosts! Oho! Zhis is so much fun! "Oh hohoho. I love Halloveen!"

Miscellaneous

Falling in Bottomless Pit in Ghost Fort

(long scream)

Scared

"RUN!" "GET AVAY!" "GET AVAY FROM ZHE VIZARD!"

Helltower responses

Pushing the Cart

"Raus, raus! Move ze wheelchair!" "Push zat old man to hell!" "Push ze dead man!"

The Witching Hour: Bridge Appears

"Ze bridge is down!" "Everyone, get to ze bridge!!" "Ze bridge!" "Ze clock has struck! Schnell, schell!" "Ze clock has struck!"

Collected Normal Spell

"Ooh, tingly."

Collected Rare Spell

"Today!! I am a God!!" (maniacal laughter) (maniacal laughter)

Reacting to a Spell

"Vhat is happening?!" "Zhe horror! Zhe horror!" "I can't take any more of zis insanity!" "Ahh! Insanity!" "Someone make zhe magic stop!" "Too much magic!" "I can't take it any more!"

Casting Spells

"Caputus crepitus!" "Pactum diabolus!" "Seismela tremoro!" "Barpo kabalto!" "Barpo invisium!" "Imputum fulmenus!" "Invokum monoculus!" "Amplus tripudio!" "Paidum celeris!" "Ipsum instantarium!" "Deus invictus!" "Mortis animataris!"

Dueling

Starting a Duel

"I'm going to saw through your bones!" "I am prepared to do vatever it takes!" "Prepare for your examination... (laughs)" "You are trying my patience!"

Duel Accepted

"Hyaaaa!" "Wunderbar!" (Translation: "Wonderful!") "Ja." (Translation: "Yes.") "Jawohl." (Translation: "Yes, please.")

Duel Rejected

"Zis... is unacceptable!" "You are... schtupid!" "Hawww!" "Booo!" "Schweinhunds!"

Class-specific responses

Upon full ÜberCharge Meter

"Ready to charge!" "I am fully charged." "I am charged."

Activating a Medi Gun ÜberCharge

"Now go!" "Get zem. Raus, Raus!" (Translation: "Get them. Go, Go!") "Schnell! Go get zem!" (Translation: "Hurry! Go get them!")

Activating a Kritzkrieg or Quick-Fix ÜberCharge

"Auf Wiedersehen... Schweinehunds!" (Translation: Goodbye, pig-dogs!) "Auf wiedersehen, Dummkopfs!" (Translation: "Goodbye, idiots!")

Note: The Vaccinator uses both responses (Medi Gun's and Kritzkrieg/Quick-Fix's).

Item-related responses

With Medimedes equipped

These responses override the default response for that category.

Round Start

"I am Archimedes!" "I experimented on my own head!" (laughs maniacally) "My head!" (laughs) "Zhe bird head is pure agony!" (laughs manically) "It's a bird! It's a head! It's a bird head!" (laughs) "Help me!" (Unstable laughter) "Bird head was a bad choice!" (screams) "I toiled in God's domain!" (screams)

Domination

"Bird head domination!" "I have a bird head, you're dominated!" *sotto voice* "We're both having a bad day."

Ubercharge

"I am zhe angry bird god of zhe Badlands! Fear me!"

With Second Opinion equipped

These responses override the default response for that category.

Round Start

"Let's do zhis my friends!" Evilly: "Kill zhem all." Normally: "Shh, it's enough!" "I'm ready my friends." Evilly: "Kill all your friends." Normally: "Ooh, good idea." "I'm ready!" Evilly: "Kill zhem all." Normally: "Also I must kill you all." "I cannot vait" (nervous giggle) Evilly: "And neizher can I." Evilly: Kill zhem, kill zhem all." Normally: "Hm, zhat does sound like fun." Evilly: "Kill zhem all." Normally: "Are you sure?" Evilly: "Yes." Normally:"Vell, I'm convinced." Evilly: "Zhey all zhink you're crazy. Normally: "Vhat? I'll show zhem!" "Ready?" Evilly: "Ve're both ready."

Cart Has Stopped/Pushing Cart

"Who stopped pushing the cart?" Evilly: "This is your fault!" Evilly: "Push harder!" Normally: "Oh, shut up!" Evilly: "Keep pushing." Normally: "Vhy don't you push?"

Domination

"I'm of two minds about zhis. Both are--pretty good with it."

Idle

Evilly: Do you ever worry you might be going mad!?" Normally: "Well, not worry. I mean, I'm not up at night about it. Evilly: Do you ever zhink zhat you might be going mad?" Normally: "Oh, all zhe time. I don't zhink it's anyzhing to worry about." Evilly: Redrum, redrum!" Normally: "Red- Oh, I just got zhat. Very clever."

Kill Assist

"Ve did it!" Evilly: "I did it." Normally: Eh, vhatever."

Ubercharge

"Ve are invincible!" Evilly: "Yes, ve are."

With Archimedes the Undying equipped

These responses override the default response for that category.

Domination

Archimedes: "Bwarrrr, dominated! Bwaaaark!"

After capturing Intelligence

Archimedes: "Bwarrrr, stole the briefcase! Raawk!" Medic: "Shh shh shh!"

Hit by Jarate or Mad Milk

Archimedes: "Bwark, that's jarate!" Medic:(sad voice) "Yes, it is."

Wave finished, near an Upgrade Station

Archimedes: "Rrrooowl, upgrade station! Raawk!" Medic: "Ah. Yes."

Won

Medic: "Ve did it! Haha!" Archimedes: "Rraaaaa, kill your friends!" Medic: "Ah yes, I almost forgot."

Set on Fire

Archimedes: "Rraaa, we're on fire!" Medic: "Yes, I know!"

Round Start

Archimedes: "Bwark, kill them all!" Medic: "Shh". Archimedes: "Bwarr" Medic: "Shh" Archimedes: "Raaaarl" Medic: "Shh shh shh!" Archimedes: "Kill them all..." Medic: "That's enough!" Archimedes: "Bwaaarrrl, dead by dawn!" Medic: "Shh, silence!". Archimedes: "Bwaaarrrl, Archimedes wants brains!" Medic: "Thank you, Archimedes." Archimedes: "Bwaaarrrl, braaaains! Bwaaark!" Medic: "Shush, Archimedes." Archimedes: "Bwaaarrrl, Archimedes wants brains!" Medic: "Yes, Archimedes wants all the brains, doesn't he?"

Pushing the Cart on Helltower

Archimedes: "Bwark, push the dead man!" Medic: "I'm trying..." Archimedes: "Bwaaarl, send him to hell!" Medic: "Ah, yes."

Standing on captured point, firing weapon

Archimedes: "Bwaaaark, stand on the point!"

Unused Responses

Unknown Condition

"Hello, Fräuleins!" (Cheery, taunting voice) (Translation: "Hello, Ladies!")