Meet the Soldier

Meet the Soldier
Video Info
Released:	August 22, 2007
Run time:	1:27

"Meet the Soldier" Video Transcript

[Cut to a BLU Pyro firing a blast of flame from his Flamethrower. He thrusts his weapon in the air and laughs triumphantly as a rocket heads towards him from off screen]. Pyro: [Rocket hits Pyro, who is gibbed.] "Ow!" [Cut to BLU Demoman taking a drink, also getting blown up by a Crit rocket from off screen.] [Cut to BLU Heavy performing the Showdown taunt.] Heavy: "Pow!" [Explodes, presumably by a third Crit rocket] ["Meet the Soldier" text appears.] [Cut to the Soldier, drilling what appears to be a line of recruits.] Soldier: "If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more [He pokes a recruits' helmet] about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor." [The Art of War plays] [Cut to the Soldier holding his Shovel and screaming.] [The Soldier then charges the final capture point in Granary with his Shotgun and kills a Demoman, who fires at him but misses. He switches to his Rocket Launcher and a BLU Medic appears behind him, firing syringes.] RED Demoman: "To the left!" Soldier: "Maggots!" [The Soldier turns to the left and fires a rocket at the Medic, gibbing him.] RED Sniper: "Right up! Right up!" RED Heavy: "Go, go, go!" [The Soldier, Sniper and Heavy charge into battle together, as explosions occur all around them.] [Cut back to the Soldier's drill. Music pauses.] Soldier: "Then, he used his fight money... [The Soldier unhooks two grenades from his belt, one in each hand.] Soldier: ...to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat... [The Soldier demonstrates by using the grenades, moving them in a walking motion.] Soldier: ...and then he beat the crap out of every single one." [The Soldier bangs the two grenades together repeatedly.] [Cut back to battle scene. Music resumes.] RED Scout: (Behind cover) "Sentry up there!" [The Soldier runs up to the Sentry gun and rocket jumps onto a pipe, both destroying the Sentry and killing the Engineer in the process.] [A BLU Heavy and Pyro are holding the final capture point. The Heavy is laughing gleefully. The Soldier jumps downward, firing a rocket that lands just before he does. The explosion kills both the Heavy and Pyro. A Spy uncloaks and attempts to backstab the Soldier, but the Soldier pulls out his Shovel, swiftly knocking out the Spy with it.] [Freeze frame] [Cut back to the Soldiers drill] Soldier: [Laughs to himself] "And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a 'zoo'!" [Crickets chirp as the 'recruits' are revealed to be the Gibbed heads of BLU team members perched on a gate, all wearing BLU Soldier helmets. The Medic's head falls off the gate.] [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.] Soldier: [To the Medic's head] "Unless it's a farm!"

Transcript

Notes

• This video was the first to feature both intro text and the updated group picture at the end.

• Sun Tzu was an honorific title bestowed upon Sūn Wǔ (c. 544 BC – 496 BC), the author of The Art of War, an immensely influential ancient Chinese book on military strategy.

• The Art of War track first played in this video, after which it was patched into the game as main menu music.

• The video uses a modified version of Granary. The RED team goes completely around the building that connects the 1st and 2nd control points into an area that is normally a dead end.

• So far, a BLU Soldier has died in every Meet the Video, this one included.

• The titlecard displays "Copyright lololol" on the bottom right corner, a recurring joke throughout the "Meet the..." videos.