Scout responses

Voice Responses are contextually triggered lines that play after the player has achieved something, such as killing a certain amount of enemies with a Primary or Melee Weapon, or the player has triggered something, like being set on fire. The Scout has several vocal responses, all of which are listed below (excluding Voice Commands).

Taunt-related responses

Main article: Scout taunts

All voice lines associated with a player-initiated taunt are located in the Scout taunts page along with a description of the animation.

Kill-related responses

After killing more than 1 enemy in 20 seconds with a primary weapon

"That's what I'm talking about!" (Evil laughter) (Happy laughter 1) (Happy laughter 2) "You got owned!" (Happy laughter 3) (Happy laughter 4) (Long laughter) "Yeah...yeah!" (Long laughter 2) "Not so tough now, are ya? Are ya?!" "You knuckleheads ain't even worth the effort."

Destroying a building

"I broke your stupid crap, moron!"

Kill assist

"Way to go, pally!" "We got 'em, we got 'em!"

Melee kill

Shared with all melee weapons "Bonk!" "Boink!" "Say goodbye to ya kneecaps, chucklehead!" "How's that feel, wimp?" Melee killing a Heavy "Eat it, fatty!" Bat / Sandman / Atomizer kill "Yo, batter up!" "Yo, I oughta' be on a baseball card!" "I'm battin' a thousand!" "Ya head's a freakin' bat magnet!" "'Ey, is somebody keepin' track of my heads batted in?" Holy Mackerel / Fan O'War kill "Yeah, I dare ya, rage quit. C'mon, make us both happy." "Oh hey! You suck." (Happy laughter) "You got owned!" Candy Cane kill "Sweet!" "You're all losers!" "You wimps suck!" Boston Basher / Three-Rune Blade kill "Man, your skull's so soft you're makin' this easy!" "I wasted you!" Sun-on-a-Stick kill "Hey, who's on fire now?" "Is-is anybody even payin' attention ta me?" "What's the matter? You freaking stupid?"

Domination-related responses

Domination

"Yeah, that's right!" "You're gettin' dominated, chucklehead!" "'Domination'. Look it up." "You're like a car crash in slow motion. It's like I'm watchin' ya fly through a windshield."

Dominating a Scout

"Hit the bricks, pal. You're done." "Ha ha! Look at you! You look like you ran through traffic!" "Hey, knucklehead, you ain't gonna win." "Oh, what, you gonna cry? You gonna cry now?" "Yeah, I dare ya, rage quit. C'mon, make us both happy!" "I will never... Stop... Killing you." "You... Are... Terrible!" "I am the Scout here!" "This map ain't big enough for the two of us." "Hit the road, bozo! Let a real Scout get to work!" "You're like a car crash in slow motion. It's like I'm watchin' ya fly through a windshield."

Dominating a Soldier

"Yo, I'm not even wearin' a helmet!" "What is your major malfunction, brother?" "Drop dead and gimme 20!" "You're a disgrace to the uniform, pal!" [Imitating Soldier] "Dis-missed!" "There ain't enough crits in the world to kill me!"

Dominating a Pyro

"It's startin' to bore me how much you suck." "Hey, who's on fire now?" "Yo, if you didn't want me to kill ya, ya shoulda said somethin'!" "Repeat after me: mhmm-mhmm-mhmm I'm dead!" "Take that, ya dumb, bib-wearin' dope!" "Eat it, ya mute, frickin' moron!" "Yeah, nice moves, mumbles!" "Dude, you'd get a closed casket at the ugly cemetery."

25px  Dominating a Demoman

"You just got freakin' dominated, knucklehead, all right, let's do this!" "I don't usually kill morons this fast." "Yeah, next time, try two eyes!" "Blow that up, cyclops!" "The best man won, ya bomb-throwin' drunk!" "Your clock just got cleaned, rummy!" "Depth perception, pal. Look into it."

Dominating a Heavy

"Drink it in, pal. That's how failure tastes." "Would you look at you? I mean, look at you." "I am owning you, you fat, bald bastard!" "Today ain't yer day, pancakes!" "$400,000 to fire that gun, huh? Yeah, money well spent!" "Them $200 bullets ain't so hot when they don't hit nuthin', are they?" "I think I'll take Sasha out for a steak dinner tonight. Whataya think about that?" "Ain't so hard now, are ya, fatcakes?" "I... Eat... Your... Sandwiches. I eat 'em up!" "Nice hustle, 'tons-a-fun'! Next time, eat a salad!" "Hey, lard-fat, those hard arteries don't stop bullets, do they?" "I am owning you, you fat, bald, fatty fat... fat fat!"

Dominating an Engineer

"Is that all you got, moron?" "Hey, here's somethin' you can invent next time: duckin'!" "Here's something you shoulda built: a not-dyin' machine!" "Don't bring a wrench to a gunfight!" "Here's a schematic for ya: my ass!" "Hey, overalls! You suck!" "Lotta good that hardhat did ya!"

Dominating a Medic

"If you order now, I'll throw in a second beatin', absolutely free." "Diagnosis: you suck!" "Ooh hoo hoo, your gun shoots medicine! It's intimidatin'!" "Where's your precious Hippo-crates now?" "Real nice effort, Deutsch-bag!" ("Deutsch" is German for "German") "I... Hate... Doctors!" "(Sigh) Doctor, doctor, doctor..."

Dominating a Sniper

"Look at this: just caved in your skull, my bat's still dry. No clumps of hair - nothin'." "Snipe that, ya frickin' coward!" "That fancy scope of yours, betcha got a real good view of me killin' ya!" "You camped the whole time for this?!" "It was a mercy killin', ya live in a... Campervan!" "You'll never hit me! You'll never hit my tiny head! It's so tiny, I got a frickin'... Such a tiny li'l head!"

Dominating a Spy

"I'll put it in my trophy room, with the othas." "Disguise dat!" "Dominated, ya shapeshiftin' rat!" "Hard to stab a guy in the back when he's beatin' your frickin' head in, huh?" "Hehey, look, you shapeshifted into a dead guy!"

Dominating an enemy with a melee kill

"Man, your skull's so soft you're makin' this easy!" "Pop quiz: How long's it take to beat a moron to death? (buzzer imitation) Sorry, time's up, you're dead."

Revenge kill

"I wasted you!" "How do ya like me now, blockhead?" "Ya like that, chucklenuts?" "Boom! I'm back, dummy!" "Remember me? Yeah, ya do!" "Don't you ever cross me again!" "What have we learned? I always win!" "Who's the tough guy now, huh, tough guy?" "Still think you're funny, funny-man?" "Bang! I make it look easy!" "I did it!" "If you order now, I'll throw in a second beatin', absolutely free." "Wassamatter, y'freakin' stupid?" "Hey, nice shootin' there!" "Ya got anything smart ta say now?"

Event-related responses

Round start

"Play ball!" "Let's get 'em!" "Eat my dust!" "Woohoo!" "Let's waste 'em!"

Sudden Death

"This sucks on ice!" "Boooooooo!" (Blows a raspberry) "Frickin' unbelievable." "This did not just happen!" "No, seriously, you all suck!" "What the hell is your guys' problem?" "Ah, jeez!" "This sucks!" "What the hell was that crap?" "This is a real frickin' embarrassment." "'Kay, this does not look good here, um..."

Stalemate

"You have got to be kidding!" "You gotta be kiddin' me!" "I can not believe this!" "Auugghh!"

Set on fire

"Fire, fire, fire!" "Oh, I'm burnin', I'm-I'm burnin'!"

Hit by Gas Passer, Jarate, Mad Milk, Mutated Milk, or Self-Aware Beauty Mark

"Awwww!" "Auugghh!" "Ah, jeez!"

Teleportation

"Thanks for the ride!" "Hey good job there, hardhat!" "Thanks for that, tough guy!"

Healed by Medic

"All right, I feel good." "(Deep exhale) Yeah, thanks, doc." "Thanks, doc."

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

"Ya got anything smart ta say now?" "Look at me!" "Ooooh yeah, you're real scary!" "Hey, lotta' good that gun didya!"

Upon picking up a baseball

"Got da ball back!" "Play ball!" "Found my ball!" "Oh dere's my ball!" "I love my ball!"

Being attacked while at low health, Bonk! Atomic Punch equipped

"C'mon, c'mon!" "Work, dammit!" "Ah, crap!" "What?!" "Aw, crap." "Ah, crap!"

On death by melee weapon and/or critical hit

(Dying scream 1) (Dying scream 2) (Dying scream 3)

Severe pain

"Aaaaah!" "Aah!" "Ah!" "Nnrg!" "Uh!" "Ugh!"

Sharp pain

"Uh!" "Argh!" "Aw!" "Ah!" "Ugh!" "Uf!" "Puh!" "Nf!"

Achievement Unlocked

"Hey, look at me, look at me!" "Hey, look at me, Ma!" "Aw, fellas!" "Hi, Ma!" "Look at me!" "No otha' class gonna do dat!" "You see dat?" "You seein' dis?" "I'll put it in my trophy room, with the othas." "I don't know who to thank first... Oh, I know, me!'"' "Bang! I make it look easy."

Weapon-related responses

Upon drinking Bonk! Atomic Punch

"Un-freakin'-touchable!" "Ya can't hit what ain't dere!" "Wananananana..." (Sound effect from The Six Million Dollar Man) "I'm a freakin' blur here!" "(Demandingly) Look at me!"

Dodging shots under Bonk! Atomic Punch's influence

"Ha." "Missed me!" "Dat didn't hurt." "Psyche!" "Nice try, pal!" "Oh what's up?" "Didn't hurt." "Woo!" "Heheh." "Eyy!" "Yeah!" "Oop!" "Wah!" "Wa-ha!" "Ho-wah!" "Wah!" "Ha!" "Nope!" "Sor-ry!" "Nope." "De-nied!" "Woosh!" "Ping!" [Sarcastically] "What?!" "Ahah!" "Poing!" "Eheheh." (Whooshing sound) "Aheheh." "Weak!" "Dummy!" "Moron!" "Dumbass!" "Nice aim!" "Punk!" "Wuss!" "Yoink!" "Too slow!" "Yoink!" "So close!"

Firing a weapon while under the effects of Crit-a-Cola

Only spoken if the attack occurs about 1 second from the activation. "You morons are about to catch a real beatin'." "You seein' dis?" "That's what I'm talking about!"

Crit-a-Cola's effects wear off

"Ah, crap!" "What?!" "Aw, crap." "Ah, crap!"

Mad Milk or Mutated Milk toss

"Yo, heads up!" "Hey, wimps!" "Catch dis."

On stunning an enemy

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit ya... No, wait, yeah, I did." "Oh, dat's a skull fracture for sure!" "Ohh, I got alla dat one." "Dere's a dingah for ya!" "Downtown!" "Home-frickin'-run!" "Gotta nice piece a dat!" "Nice catch, knucklehead!" "Good 'ands, buddy!" "Good catch, dummy!" "Way to duck!" "Nice hustle!" "Yo, heads up!" "Ding-dong!" "Think fast, chucklenuts!" "Real smooth, dummy!"

Attacking with the Sandman

"Batter up!" "Catch dis." "Batta swing!" "Major League!"

Double jumping

"Hehey, I'm flyin'!" "Woo hoo hoo!" "Look at you chuckleheads down there!" "Hey, I can see my base from here!" "Look at me, Ma!"

Apex of triple jump

"Woohoohoohoo!" "Yeaheaheah!" "Woooooo!" "Yeaahehehhh!"

Objective-related responses

After picking up intelligence

"Wave goodbye to your secret crap, dumbass!"

After capturing intelligence

"Yeah, it's ours now!" "I'm not even winded." "I got it, I got it, I got it!" "Is-is anybody even payin' attention to me?"

After capturing control point

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" "Yeah!" "I got it, I got it!" "No problem!"

Standing on captured control point, firing weapon

"Stand on the freakin' point, you moron!" "Get on the freakin' point, dumbass!"

Standing on a cappable control point, firing weapon

"Hey, get on the cap, guys!" "Stand on the freakin' cap!" "Let's get on the cap, fellas!" "Get on the cap, ya dopes!"

Defense

"Way to go, slugger!" "Yes!" "Oh yeah!" "Ooooh yeah, you're real scary!" "Hey, lotta' good that gun didya!" "Oh hey! You suck." "Yeah, it's ours now!" "We got 'em, we got 'em!"

Payload-related responses

Attacking: Cart goes forward

"Push!" "Mush, you lazy bums!" "Keep pushin' it!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" "Keep it movin', guys!" "Go, go, go!"

Attacking: Cart goes back

"Dat ain't da right way, guys!" "What da hell's goin' on?" "Aw, cripes, da cart!" "Is someone gonna push da freakin' cart?" "Da cart's movin' backwards!" "Aw, jeez, da cart!" "No, no, no! The cart!" "Anyone else pushing dis thing?"

Defending: Cart goes forward

"We gotta stop dat thing!" "Aw, jeez guys, we gotta stop it!" "What the hell is everyone doin'?!" "Push da freakin' cart!" "Keep dat cart movin'!" "C'mon, move da cart!"

Defending: Cart goes back

"Return to freakin' sender!" "All right, all right!" "Hey now we're doin' it, now we're doin' it!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" "What, ya guys give up?" "Yo, it should be goin' dat way!"

Attacking: Stay close to cart

"Stay by the cart, fellas!" "Get over here!" "Stay close, guys!" "Let's all push this thing!" "We pushin' this thing or what?" "Li'l help pushin' the cart?"

Attacking: Cart has stopped

"The freakin' cart stopped!" "What da hell, who stopped pushin' the cart?!" "Push it, push it, push it!"

Defending: Stop the bomb

"Ey, we gotta stop it!" "Gotta stop da cart!" "Let's stop dat freakin' thing!"

Contract-related responses

Contract complete

"Hey, I was just gettin' started!" "Oh, we done already?" "Dat is how you do it!" "We make it look easy!" "Yeah, boom! Dat's right!" Difficult Contract "Yeah! We did it!" "Man, we destroyed dat freakin' objective!" "Crap, we did it!" "Ho, ho, ho, nice! We finally get dat done?" "Woo hoo, hoo, hoo!"

Competitive Mode responses

Setup

First round

Casual Mode "Come on, bat. Let's go introduce you to some skulls." "Let's do dis." "Let's go whack some chuckleheads." "Let's win dis freakin' thing!" "Let's win dis game!" "I feel like winnin'!" "Come on, guys! Let's win dis!" "Am I the only one here who wants to win?" "Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Let's go!" "Boom! Let's get a win here!" "Who here likes winnin'? I do!" "Okay, raise your hand if you like winnin'! My hand's up." "Come on, guys! This one counts. Let's win dis!" "Yeah, welcome to the winnin' team!" "Everybody got dere fancy hats? Let's go!" "What, you forget your hat? What're we waitin' for here?" "We waitin' for permission here or what? Come on, let's do dis!." "Yeah, I'm ready!" Rare "I gotta bucket of chicken and I'm here to kick ass! And I'm all outta chicken...so I lied about the chicken." "Raise your hand if you like winnin'! Okay, I count one, two, three... Yeah dat... Alright, good!" "Yeah, I'm ready! No wait, hold on. I gotta pee." "Let's win already! I don't got time for dis! I've got a date! A real one! Don't look into it." "Here's the plan, bat. I'll run around fast, being da best, and you be in my hand and bash heads! Got it?" "I'm so fast I got my feet insured... With a bank! Well, it's just a guy who works in a store next door to a bank. Well, let's go!" "I'm so fast I got my feet bronzed! And now I'm not as fast." "I'm so fast I got my feet bronzed! Never, ever do dat... So painful!" "I'm so fast I got my feet bronzed! Never, ever do dat, it is so painful... Dear God!" "Hey, I'll say it. Everybody else here is too scared to say it, but I'll just say what everybody's thinkin'! We're all best friends. We are all dear, dear friends! Birthday party at my place this weekend, by the way. Nobody showed up last weekend so I figured, now no big whoop, I'll just have it again." Competitive Mode "I love this game!" "Let's get a win, guys! I wanna rank up here!" "I am so ready for some meatshots!" "Meatshots! Freakin' meatshots!" "Ok, which way we flankin'?" "Take da flank, get da rank!" "So who's takin' flank?" "Which one of us is takin' flank?" "Am I flankin'?" "We shoulda discussed this beforehand! Am I flankin'?" "I'll see you slowpokes at Mid!" "Last one to Mid is not me!" "Party at Mid when we take da point!" "Look up 'utility' in da dictionary. Know what it means? Means you can do freakin' everything!" "We ain't scrimmin' here!" "What, you think that this is a scrim? I got news for you, it's not!" "Yeah! Comp stuff!" "Man, I saw those guys in the way in. This does not seem competitive!" "I spec'd these guys earlier. They looked terrible." "I spec'd these guys earlier. They were all over the place. Frankly, I'm not impressed." "Just a scrim. Just a scrim! No biggie!" Rare "I spec'd these guys earlier. They look ugly. I didn't want to say it, but they do. Their hats are terrible, their faces aren't very good or attractive..." "It's just a scrim, no big deal! Nobody's countin' points. We're just, we're just foolin' around here! Gettin' a little goofy..." "Are you guys ready to scrim? I'm ready to scrim! This is, this is just a scrim, right?" 6s only "Ok, bat, it's all on us now. Technically, there's five other guys, but I can't hit people on the head with them. So, it's you and me Bashy." "Yeah, hah hah! 6s stuff!" "Just six guys alone in the desert tryin' to kill each other. Happens all the time. I don't know where you grew up, but dis is pretty normal around here. In the desert." "Dey got six of dem ding-dongs over there, huh." "Looks like six more notches for my lucky skull-bat!" Rare "Go team, everybody! Six trained killers, am I right? Best of da best! And best friends. We don't say it a lot, or at all, but we're all feelin' it here. In our hearts, you know? The frien-the friendship."

Previous round was a win

Casual Mode "I am in da zone!" "Yeah, we're doing pretty good!" "I love winnin'! Love it!" "Yeah, dis is how winners run!" "Wanna see a winner run a circle around you!" "We are gonna own this!" "Man, it is unfair how good I am!" "There is no way we're gonna lose now!" "We're on a winnin' streak!" "We're runnin' circles around those guys!" "Guys, I'm right here! Of course, we're gonna win!" "Watch a winner in action, pal! Wup, too fast. Just a blur. Maybe next time." Rare "Spoilers: But, uh, we're gonna win this." "Hey! Other team! See dis butt! Eat it! Eat my butt! Ha ha ha! Yeah!" "Hey! Other team! We all got together and we got you a little somethin'. It's an ass-beatin'! We're gonna come over there and give it to you right now!" "I have this disorder that makes it physically impossible for me to lose! It also makes me irresistible to ladies. Like all ladies. Everywhere." Competitive Mode "Hey! Hey, other team! How'd that taste? Like crap? Yeah, 'cause I fed you crap!" "Hey! Hey, other team! Time out! I got something real important to tell you! You suck! Ha ha ha! Yeah, yeah take that, other team!" 6s only "At this rate, they're gonna need way more than six guys!" "What do they got? Six guys? Eh, that's not enough."

Previous round was a loss

"Man, losing is stupid!" "Nobody saw us lose that one, right?" "Last one didn't count! Just a warmup!" "Alright, we tried losin', and it sucks. Let's go back to winnin'!" "Come from behind victory! Cinderella story, startin' now!" "Come on guys, we're the underdogs here! Let's get this done!" "Ok, they got lucky once! Nobody gets lucky twice, though. It's impossible." Rare "We're turning this ship around! The SS We're Done Sucking is about to launch! Dis is your captain speaking! Buckle your seatbelts 'cause this boat is going like freakin' Mach 12!" "Guys, don't make me win this myself! Let's all try this time! Do it for Scout!" "Ok, guys, bad news: We lost that last one. Good news: You still got me."

Previous round was a tie

"Ties are stupid!" "Ties are da worst!" "Let's break this tie already" "Oh I am done being tied!" "Let's get to winnin' already!" "Ah, I hate ties! Let's break it already!" "We are gonna break this thing, now!"

Outcomes

Match win

"Yea-ah!" "Aw, we done already?" "Crap, we did it!" "Oh man, we're da best!" "And... That's a match!" "We took da match, guys!" "Wuh hoo hoo hoo! Dat's a match!" "Just winnin' another match. No big whoop." "I don't know how to lose. I tried it once. It didn't work." "Dat is how you win a match!"

Game win

"Yeah, dat's right!" "Dat is how you do it!" "Not too shabby!" "We make it look easy!" "Yeah, boom! Dat's right!" "I could get used to dis!" "Hey, I was just gettin' started!" "Dat is how you win a game!" "Dat's how you win, pal!" "Yeah, we're pretty great!" "I am a winnin' machine, baby!" "I'm da best at everything!" "Did we win another one of these? Oh man, we are so good!" "We won again? Eh, throw it on the pile." "Go, Scout! Go, Scout!" Rare "That is how a team of best friends wins the game!" "Hey, we are da best! We are the best first place champions of winning of all time!"

Rank up

"Rank up!" "Yeah, there it is!" "Whoop, we ranked up!" "Oh, looks like we ranked up!" "Holy crap, we're rankin' up!" "Yeah, rank up!" "Ain't nothin' better than rankin' up!" "Aw, we ranked down. Oh no wait, we ranked up! Oh, that is way better." "Wuh hoo hoo hoo!" "We get promoted? Oh dat is sick!" "Yeah, dat's right! Rankin' up!" "Oh ho ho, nice! We finally get dat done?" Top scoring "Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines... And, brotha, we are da freakin' best!"

Game summary

"Nice work, kid!" "Dat ain't just good, dat is historical good!" "Holy crap, we are awesome!" "Finally, somebody noticed us crushin' it!" "Hey, yeah yeah! We're famous!" "Not bad, pal. Not bad at all." "Dat is pretty freakin' impressive!" "We are officially in da record books!" "Heads up, history schools! 'Cause history just happened!" "Yeah no, we crushed it!" "Yeah, dat's right!" "'Bout time we got a little recognition around here!" "I wanted to talk to you about this, because I-I've been noticin' this... And, uh, I wanted to compliment you on your work." "You earned it, bucket-of-chicken pal! You earned it! Don't let nobody take it away from you!" "Hey, we make a good team!"

Mann vs. Machine responses

During a wave

Upon being revived with a Reanimator

"Death is stoopid!" "Boom! Back from da dead!" "I'm back baby!" "Eh, dying ain't nuthin'!" "Screw you, Death!" "I'm too handsome ta die!" "I am back!" "Reports of my death were bullcrap!"

Mannhattan specific

Gate

Robots attacking "Aw crap! Dere's robots at da gate!" "Da robots are takin' da gate!" "Robots are attackin' da gate!" Robots take gate "Robots took da gate!" "Da robots have got da gate!"

After a mission

Receiving a Killstreak Kit

Common Loot "Yeah!" "Nice!" "(Laughs) Oh yeah!" "Sweet." "Come to daddy!" "(Laughs) Oh yeah!" Rare Loot "Ooooh! Yeah!" "Oh! Dat is beautiful!" "Oh, absolutely! Abso-freakin-lutely!" "WOW!" "I don't know how it did it, but dis actually makes me more handsome!" "Holy crap!" "Oh, my holy freakin' stupid crap!" "Oh my God! Oh my God! OH MY GOD!" Godlike Loot "For the first time in my life, I'm at a loss for words." "It's... Perfect."

Duel-related responses

Starting a duel

"Let's go." "Bring it." "Let's do dis." "You 'n me." "C'mon, tough guy!"

Duel accepted

"Sweet!" "Ooooh yeah, you're real scary!" "I'm gonna headbutt cha', I'm gonna headbutt cha', I'm gonna headbutt cha'!" "Yeah, come get some, you frickin' wuss!" "Yeah!"

Duel rejected

"You have got to be kidding!" "You gotta be kiddin' me!" "I can not believe this!" "Auugghh!" "Yeah, I dare ya, rage quit. C'mon, make us both happy." "I will never... Stop... Killing you." "Boooooooo!" "Frickin' unbelieveable." "Wassamatter, y'freakin' stupid?"

Halloween / Full Moon responses

Wheel of Fate outcomes

Dance Off fate

"Born to dance! Born to dance, brother!"

Super Jump fate

"Hey, look at my feet!"

No Gravity fate

"Gravity? Who gives a crap about gravity?"

Big Head fate

"Oh, God, my head is huge!" "Oh God. My head is huge!" "Oh, my head is so big!" "Oh, my beautiful head!" "Don't look at me, I'm hideous!" "Don't look at me, I'm slightly less handsome!"

Small Head fate

"Ahh, I gotta teeny tiny little head over here!" "Ahh, my teeny tiny little head!" "Oh, my head is so small!" "Oh, my beautiful head!" "Don't look at me, I'm hideous!" "Don't look at me, I'm slightly less handsome!" "Real small over here!"

Whammy fate (bleeding variant)

"Ah, my blood! He spelled out all my blood!" "My blood!" "Ah, my blood!"

Positive fate

"Yeah, lookin' good over here!" "This ain't no spell, I am this good!"

Negative fate

"Uuh!" "Bluh!" "Uh oh." "Oh this ain't good." "Aww, crap." "Aw, crap."

During battle with Merasmus

Head turned into bomb

"Hehehe, you got a bomb on your head. Aw, crap, I got a bomb on my head!" "Aw, crap, I got a bomb on my head!" "Bomb on my head! Bomb on my head!" "Head bomb, head bomb, coming through!"

Successfully stun Merasmus

"Oh, man! I'm gonna screw that wizard up!" "Yeah! Where you at, Merasmus?" "Ye-he-ha-yeah!" "Oh, hell yeah!" "Wuh huh huh hoo!" "Where you at, Merasmus? Calling you out, ya stupid wizard!" "He-hey, Siegfried and Roy! I am gonna mess... You... Up!" "Wooh! Check it out, Casper!" "I am gonna mess... You... Up!"

Merasmus hides

"Yeah, you better hide, you wand-wavin' moron!"

Looking for Merasmus

"Come on out, ya see-through marshmallow!" "Get out here, spellcakes!" "I hate wizards so much." "Where da hell is that wizard?" "Hey, Houdini, where ya hidin'?" "Aw, come on out, ya stupid wizard." "Nobody likes wizards, ya hear me? You're doomed to die alone." "I hate ghosts so much." "I hate ghosts so much. Just be solid already, stupid ghosts." "Ya know what, you're not scary, you're just weird." "I'm gonna cave your little ghost skull in, magic man!" "We're gonna make you wish you never entered the Dark Arts!" "I'll show you some eldritch horror, H.P. Dumbcraft! (laughs)"

Helltower responses

Round start

"Let's get dis mummy movin', guys!" "Dis ol' fossil ain't gonna move himself, guys!"

Cart stops

"Move da mummy!"

Witching Hour: The bridge appears

"Bridge is down!" "Woo! Dere's da bridge!" "Hey, get to da bridge!" "Bridge time, everybody!" "Get ta the island!" "Woo-hoo-hoo! Let's go get some free crap!" "It's da Witchin' Hour! Let's go!" "Free crap!"

Miscellaneous

Collected normal spell

"Oh, it's magic time!"

Collected rare spell

"I am the lord of all magic!" "I am a freakin' wizard!" "You shall not freakin' pass!" "I am full of freakin' magic!" "I! Love! Magic!"

Reacting to rare spells

"Can't. Stop. Da magic!" "So much magic!" "Are you freakin' kidding me?" "It's happening! Oh, God! It's happening!" "It's too much magic! It's too much magic!" "No! NO! It's too much magic!" "We toiled in God's domain!" "Oh no! I knew dis would happen! I foresaw dis!"

Casting spells

"Cay-pee-tus crap-itus!" "Pactum diabolus!" "Seismela tremoro!" "Barbo kabulto!" "Barpo invisium!" "Imputum fulmenus!" "Invokum Monoculus!" "Amplus tray-pudio!" "Paidum celeris!" "Ipsum insantarium!" "Deus invictus!" "Mortis animataris!"

Falling in bottomless pit

(Screaming) (Screaming) "(Screaming) Holy crap, this goes on forever."

Scared by a ghost

(Shrieks) "So scared!" "Gah! Running!"

Unknown condition

"Next time a wizard asks you to be his roommate, you say 'No!', Soldier!"

Item-related responses

With Haunted Hat equipped

These responses override the default response for that category.

Round start

"Big muscles? Check. Scary hat? Check. All right, yeah! Let's do dis!" "You an' me, scary ghost hat! Let's do dis!" "Let's go over da plan, Scary Hat. I'll run around an' be awesome, you float over my head. Got it?" "Oh, man, look at dis hat! Dis hat's so scary, my head just got scared!" "You--you wanna see somethin' scary? Look slightly above my head. Yeah. Dat's right, scary ghost hat." "Oh, man, look at dis scary hat, floatin' above my head like a ghost or somethin'. Oh, this hat's so great, I'm jealous of me!" "Hey! Check out my scary hat! Scary expensive, dat is! Yeah, I'm rich." "Wait'll these guys get a load of my hat! BAM! Yeah, it's haunted." "You guys notice anything new about me? Specifically the top part of my head? Yeah, it's a -- it's a super-scary hat. No big deal."

After capturing control point

"Hey, it's okay, guys. Scary Hat and I got dis!" "Scary Hat and I got point!" "Stay frosty, Scary Hat!"

Attacking: Cart goes forward

"Push, Scary Hat! Push!" "Come on, Scary Hat! Push! I believe in you!"

After picking up intelligence

"Nice work, Scary Hat!" "We're doin' this, Scary Hat!" "You an' me, Scary Hat!"

After capturing Intelligence

"We did it, Scary Hat! We did it together." "He-hey, we did it, Scary Hat! You're my best friend." "We did it, Scary Hat! We did it because we're best friends." "Wait'll the guys see this, Scary Hat!"

Domination

"You just got dominated by a handsome man in a frightening hat. Deal wit' it!" "I know what you're asking yourself: 'Was I scared to death by this man's ghost hat?' But nah, I just killed ya."

Set on fire

"(Scream) Save yourself, Scary Hat!" "(Scream) Scary Hat! This is all your fault!" "(Scream) Oh, God, my ghost hat's on fire!"

Scared by a ghost

"Don't look, Scary Hat!" "Oh--oh my god, dat is almost as scary as my hat!"

With Magical Mercenary equipped

These responses override the default response for that category.

Round start

"Clippity-clop, over here! I'm a pretty pink horse!" "Yeah, laugh it up! You know what girls love? Unicorns! Look it up!" "You can't put a saddle on me, brotha! I am like pink wind." "Yeah, laugh it up! I will gore your ass wit' dis thing." "I am not a unicorn! I'm a pink rhinoceros!" "Unicorn power!"

Domination

"Friendship is freakin' magic, pal!" "You mess with da horse? You get da horn!" "Oh, I just clippy-clopped my hoof up your ass!" "Dat is how a unicorn lays down the freakin' hurt!" "Dat is how a unicorn gets it done, son!" "Where's yer fairy tale endin', Rapunzel? Huh? Where'd it go?!" "Every time a unicorn kills ya, ya get to make a wish!" "Yeah, I heard ya laughin' earlier. But it's okay - 'cause ya dead!"

Attacking: Cart goes forward

"Come on, push! Unicorn power!"

Set on fire

"My pony magic does nothing!" "(Short scream) Unicorn on fire! Unicorn on fire!"

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

"I am a horned nightmare!" "I am an invincible unicorn!"

With Voodoo-Cursed Scout Soul equipped

Idle

"Grass grows, sun shines, birds fly, and brother, I come back from the dead!" "Brains! Man, I would kill for some brains here!" "Hey, I love brains." "Aw, y-ya know what would hit the spot? Brains! They're delicious!" "It's not original, but it's true, I love brains."

Unused responses

Domination

Both of the lines below lack lip synching. "Are you even tryin'?" "Yo, did ya even see me hittin' ya?"