Medieval Mode

“

God save the queen! Click to listen — The Sniper

”

Medieval Mode is a game mode added to Team Fortress 2 during the Australian Christmas event with the December 17, 2010 Patch.

The game mode is unique in that it does not allow players to use any weapons of their choice - it restricts them to a set list of allowed weapons, mainly focusing on melee weapons as well as other medieval-era weapons. Aside from this restriction, the goal of the game mode is the same as that of an Attack/Defend Control Point game, in that there are a number of control points which the attacking team must capture and the defending team must defend.

Gameplay mechanics

• Players drop small health kits and weapons upon death.
  • The Scout's Candy Cane melee weapon drops a secondary health kit in addition to the one dropped normally.
• Using the Ubersaw does not build the Medic's ÜberCharge meter.
• Players are restricted to melee weapons, with a set of exceptions based on graphical style and vitality to the class' mechanics.
• Third-person mode can be enabled without use of sv_cheats by using the command tf_medieval_thirdperson 1.
  • This form of third person is different from others, placing one's crosshair over their shoulder instead of above their head.

Allowed weapons

See also: Category:Medieval weapons

• All melee weapons are allowed, but aside from those, players may use the following:

Maps

Main article: List of maps

Medieval Mode is enabled for all maps with a tf_logic_medieval entity and can be enabled for any other map by setting the server variable tf_medieval to 1.

Community maps are identified with an italic font.

Name	Picture	File name
Burghausen		cp_burghausen
DeGroot Keep		cp_degrootkeep
Sandcastle		cp_degrootkeep_rats

Strategy

Main article: Basic Medieval Mode strategy

Main article: Community Medieval Mode strategy

Chat parser

Promotional logo for the Medieval Mode.

When playing on Medieval maps, an "auto-roleplay" parser modifies all text chat between players to look like Ye Olde English by randomly applying the following rules.

Word replacement

For a full listing of all word replacements, see this file.

 Note: this chat filter is only applied to English words and does not work with other languages.

Original text Replacement it is it's tis it was 'twas it would 'twould it will 'twill it were 'twere shall not will not shan't over there yonder in the i' the thank you many good thanks to you thankee kindly thanks to you grammercy to you you u thou thee ye are art lol lolleth lollery killed beaten slain vanquished brung low conquered fleeced humbled subjugated bested foiled goodbye bye seeya goodnight farewell fare thee well good morrow by your leave godspeed begone good day good day, sirrah good day, sire good day, master adieu cheerio pleasant journey I bid thee good day I bid thee farewell yes aye yea yea verily no nay nayeth hello hi good day well met well meteth tally ho ave does doeseth dost doth kill gank slay vanquish bring low conquer fleece humble subjugate best foil your thy thine thyne my mine in within flag pennant banner colors heraldry

Original text Replacement walking a-walkin' bet warrant the ye joke jest jape balls groin leathers beans poundables nethers nadchakles buis fellahs coin purse afk away, fighting kobolds away, fruity knights aft, frisking knickers abaft, flailing knouts map chart please I pray you prithee pray ok as you will agreed well said just so is be never ne'er haha hehe heh hah guffaw! cackle! oh, 'tis to laugh! zounds! chuckle! snigger! snort! snicker! cachinnate! titter! and there was much tittering! and there was much guffawing! and there was much chuckling! and there was much snorting! and there was much snickering! and there was much mirth! assist aid aideth saveth assistance succor could couldst would wouldst sure shore maybe mayhaps perchance girl woman madame waif mistress lass lady goodwife maid maiden later anon often oft really indeed in truth those yon here hither enough enow child poppet why wherefore away aroint being bein' of o' fucker swiver shit nightsoil

Punctuation

Original text Replacement ! , verily! , verily I say! , verily I sayeth! , I say! , I sayeth! ! Huzzah! ! Hear Hear! ! What-ho! ! Ho! ! Fie! , indeed!

Original text Replacement ? , I say? , I wonder? , wonder I? , what say thee? , what sayeth thee? , what say thou? , what sayeth thou? , I ponder? , I pondereth? , pray tell? , ho? , do tell?

Insults

Original text	Replacement
idiot	<adjective>, <adjective> <noun>
fool
bastard

Adjectives
artless droning fawning warped paunchy puny spongy ruttish vain lumpish craven witless pustulent infested	ill-bred blind scurvy puny fetid vile gibbering mewling rank fawning moonish brutish malapert	curst lack-linen bottle-ailed lyingest embossed cheating crook-pated base-court hasty-witted two-faced pox-marked toad-brained errant	idle-headed quailing flap-mouthed puking fly-bitten surly tottering villainous rump-fed bootless churlish tickle-brained froward

Nouns
mongrel codpiece jackanape ape coxcomb harlot hussy strumpet cur clot fool	barnacle harpy wench churl pleb taffer scoundrel scalliwag mooncalf rapscallion doxy	bawd tosspot cupshot recreant fustalarion scullion rampallion knave barbermonger boil	plague-sore carbuncle whoreson clotpole lout gudgeon puttock skainsmate varlet bladder

Classes

Original text Replacement Demoman swordsman scotsman drunkard swordmaster blademaster knight paladin blades for hire Engineer craftsman smith smithy blacksmith artisan machinist ironsmith metalworker golem-maker golemist Heavy bouncer boxer brawler bruiser Medic priest cleric healer nursemaid bonesetter butcher medicine man witchdoctor leech apothecary wizard

Original text Replacement Pyro pyromaniac maniac flamewielder firebrand fire mage fire magus masked salamander Scout lookout outrider spotter explorer patroller runner advance guard Soldier champion mercenary shovelman warrior Sniper hunter ranger woodsman beastmaster australian archer bowman arrowman fletcher Spy cutpurse pickpocket vagabond blackguard hooligan pilferer backstabber thief haunt rogue

Added to beginning of chat messages

Forsooth, I say, I sayeth, Forsooth, I say, Forsooth, say I, Forsooth, sayeth I, Hark! Harketh! By <god>, By the Will of <god adjective> <god>, By the <body part adjective> <body part> of the <god adjective> <god>, By <god adjective> <god>'s <body part adjective> <body part>, Avast, Zounds, Perchance, Pray tell, Prithee, What hey, What ho, Pray, Surely Pray pardon, Alas, In short, My Lord,

My Lady, By my faith, If it pleases you, I pray you, In truth, By my trowth, In sooth, By my word, S'wounds, Z'wounds, <god>'s wounds, <god>'s <body part>, Heigh-ho, Ah, Quoth I, Listen, Listen thee, Hear me, Now hear me, I warrant Come, Kind sire, Sire, There is much in what you say, and yet,

Gods
Odin Bob Zeus Hera Thor Crom Mad-poet Navarth Cugel Wotsit Baron Boddisey Poseidon Saint Mary Pallus Athena Loki Erlik Shoggoth Omm	Vishnu Azazoth Father Odin Allfather Odin Cthulhu Buddha Aphrodite Isis Kali Dionysus Zarathustra Croesus Hermes Venus Montezuma Popacatapetl	Hephaestus Bubastes Bacchus Nebuchadnezzar Assurbanipal Sargon Xerxes Mulwatallish Labarna Hammurabi Rameses Minos Tilgath-Pileser Vercingetorix Mithradites Pericles	Belasarius Archaemides Heraclius Imhotep Artemis Orthia Phoebe Hestia Eros Persephone Minerva Mercury Aesculapius Discordia Hecate Hespera

God adjectives
Almighty Unthinkable Unknowable All-knowing All-seeing Lecherous Scandalous Merciful Ravaging Thunderous	Wrathful Distant Vengeful Supreme Wise Warlike Jealous Vindictive Powerful	Adulterous Licentious Crafty Benefical Virtuous Protective Prophetic Bloodthirsty Murderous	Ruinous Militant Invisible Omnipotent Forgotten Enlightened Tempestuous Destructive Grim

Body parts
Beard Third Leg Scalp Eye Thigh	Arm Sword Heel Gaze Tongue	Hammer Toenail Nether Regions Liver	Lights Spleen Gall Liver and Lights

Body part adjectives
Unknowable Unescapable Unfathomable Unthinkable Righteous Hairy Hairless Wandering Blistered Awe-inspiring Toothy Ravaged Aged Endless Wondrous Unavoidable Pestilent	Forgotten Beautiful Fertile Prophetic Musical Helpful Virginal Curative Bleak Incessant Sagely Unfashionable Unfaltering Unfamiliar Abysmal Boundless Eternal	Immeasurable Infinite Unending Soundless Incomprehensible Inexplicable Profound unintelligible Unbelievable Impenetrable Indecipherable Esoteric Enigmatic Ancient Venerable Baneful	Contagious Corrupting Deadly Deleterious Evil Noxious Diseased Pernicious Pestiferous Pestilential Tainted Contaminated Pulchritudinous Odoriferous Misbegotten Sacriligious

Added to end of chat messages

• Anon!
• Hum.
• Good sir!
• Good sire!
• Milady!
• My Liege!
• Guvnor!

Notes

• Server operators can disable this behavior by setting the server variable tf_medieval_autorp to 0.
• Text beginning with ! or / is ignored to avoid modifying SourceMod commands.
• The rules for chat modification are defined in the autorp.txt file.
• Unlike most of the text in Team Fortress 2, the chat parser has not been translated into languages other than English.

Update history

December 17, 2010 Patch (Australian Christmas)

• Added Medieval Mode to the game.

December 22, 2010 Patch

• Medieval Mode's auto-roleplay now ignores text beginning with '!' or '/' (so SourceMod commands aren't modified).

February 14, 2011 Patch

• [Undocumented] Fixed players getting set bonuses applied on Medieval maps for items that are not allowed in Medieval mode. This is presumably a side-effect of the item_whitelist set bonus fix.

May 25, 2011 Patch

• Added Concheror and Fishcake to the list of weapons allowed in Medieval mode.

June 27, 2011 Patch

• Added Splendid Screen, Ali Baba's Wee Booties, and Mantreads to the whitelist for Medieval mode.

November 7, 2011 Patch

• [Undocumented] Added Bootlegger to the whitelist for Medieval mode.

March 22, 2012 Patch

• Updated Cozy Camper to allow it to be used in Medieval Mode.

August 3, 2012 Patch

• Flying Guillotine is now available in Medieval mode.

January 16, 2013 Patch

• Added Robo-Sandvich, Festive Sandvich, Festive Buff Banner, and Festive Huntsman to the list of items allowed in Medieval mode.

January 9, 2014 Patch

• Fixed not being able to use Festive Crusader's Crossbow in Medieval mode.

April 1, 2014 Patch

• Gunboats are now available in Medieval mode.

April 25, 2016 Patch #2

• Updated the Quickplay category for Alternative game modes to include Medieval maps.

Bugs

• If one forces a map change from Medieval Mode with the "map <mapname>" console command, players remain in Medieval Mode after the map changes even if the new map does not have Medieval Mode on by default.

Trivia

• In the release page, the presence of Team Fortress 2 characters in a medieval setting is explained by stating the Soldier "[Simply] angered a magician." This is a play on the familiar trope "A wizard did it", which is commonly used by authors to wave away any plot holes found by their most detail oriented fans.
  • It was later revealed in the Very Scary Halloween Special that the magician in question is Merasmus the Magician, the RED Soldier's roommate.