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Upgrade/Toolbox
Video Info
Released:	June 27th, 2012
Run time:	2:32

Meet the Pyro video transcript

Transcript

[Meet the Pyro title card appears. Flames chars its surface exposing a lower body shot of the Pyro, Fire Axe in hand, walking slowly across a burnt wasteland as ominous music plays in the background. Cuts to a dimly-lit shot of the RED Heavy in a room with the blinds drawn.] Heavy: "I fear no man. But that Thing..." [He looks around] Heavy: [In hushed tones] "It scares me." [Cut to an OS of the Pyro walking through a town composed of wooden structures. A BLU Engineer, rapidly closes the door to a building while a Scout frantically tries to get inside. Other members of the BLU team panic and try to get away. VO then cut to the Scout in the same interrogation room] Scout: [Flustered] "No, I. I ain't, I ain't talking about that freak. Alright? [Fiddles with microphone, anxious to get it off] Scout: [Stops as his head darts around.] "He's not here, is he? I wanna get this [bump] thing off." [He walks off, bumping into the camera which falls to the floor. Cut to the Pyro who kicks down to the door to a building, Flamethrower at the ready. A zoom shot into the nozzle of the Flamethrower as the whooshing gas of the pilot light is heard. Fade to the interrogation room. The Spy is exhaling the smoke from a cigarette] Spy: "One shudders to imagine what inhumane thoughts lie behind that mask." [Cut to a rear shot of the Pyro revving up his Flamethrower. Fire erupts from the nozzle. A standing shot showing the Pyro spewing flames into the air. The town is already up in flames. The Spy continues his VO as the shot switches to the Pyro's front, focusing up to his mask Spy: "What dreams of chronic, sustained cruelty." [Zoom into the lenses of the gas mask. Music rises then cuts off as the camera is plunged into darkness. Two circles of light appear and rush towards the camera. They are the eyeholes of the gasmask, viewed from the inside] [The Lovin' Spoonful's "Do You Believe in Magic" plays. It a view into the an ostentatiously happy, childish world as seen by the Pyro. Many things are noticeably different from reality. The Flamethrower is replaced with a musical instrument that spews bubbles. The gas tank on the back is a contraption with a Victrola-like horn. The Pyro laughs. It is a joyous world with sunshine, flowers, rainbows, and candy houses.] [Transition shot provided by a gently falling kitten. A BLU Heavy appears behind an enormous Sandvich. He is actually a cherub with winds and a diaper. The wings, however still cannot hold his weight and he falls with a squeaking sound. He is unharmed and smiles.] [Cut to the Pyro on a hill planted with giant lollipops. He lifts one and holds it victoriously over his head. The BLU Heavy seems delighted at the treat and runs as fast as his little legs will carry him. He trips comically, but soon catches up. The Pyro skips towards him, lollipop in hand.] [The Pyro pirouettes and leap into the air with the lollipop in both hands swinging it over his head. Immediate transition to reality, burning buildings are in the background. The music switches ominously. The lollipop is actually a Fire Axe and burrows into the BLU Heavy's head as he screams. Blood spatters fill the screen.] [Back in the Pyro's head, the BLU Heavy has the lollipop happily in his mouth. The Pyro is pleased, but notices something over his shoulder. It is the BLU Scout, flying quickly towards them. He lands cheerfully on the musical contraption. The Pyro holds a bubble wand and blows bubbles as the Scout giggles childishly.] [In reality, the Pyro holds the Scorch Shot. The shot has been fired and hits the BLU Scouts head as he falls slowly in pain.] [The cherub Scout merely somersaults backwards in the air, tickled by a sea of bubbles. Both he and the BLU Heavy play around. The Pyro notices the BLU Medic playing Peek-A-Boo in a large present, hiding under the lid. The Pyro exclaims and rushed forth to adjust the lid.] [Cut to the BLU Medic is trapped in a burning building. The Pyro secures the doors by shoving the Fire Axe between the handles.] BLU Medic: [Pokes his head from the door and tries to escape] "No!" [Shot behind the Pyro. He aims his flamethrower and adds additional fire to the inferno. The BLU Medic screams.] [Transition to the Pyro's world. He motions his hand for everyone to follow him. He skips along and meets other members of the BLU Team, all in cherub form. The BLU Spy and Engineer ride a magical stuffed unicorn. Even the Soldier seems pleased. The Pyro rides off into the distance spewing magical sparks from his musical contraption framed by his BLU friends. Fireworks and bubbles pop. The Demoman is particularly happy, his usual grenades on his vest replaced by milk bottles.] [An explosion forces the camera back to reality. Everything is in flames as members of the BLU team are tossed into the air. The BLU Demoman has a stricken look on his face.] Demoman: "I'm burnin'!" [He reaches for help. Cut to the BLU Scout running scared while a BLU Sniper crashed through one of the upstairs windows of a blazing building. He grunts and crawls to the leg of the Pyro. His glasses are askew.] Sniper: "Help!" [The Pyro is unresponsive. Then he lowers his Flamethrower. Cut to the gas mask where the flames are reflected in the lenses. The BLU Sniper screams. The Pyro cocks his head to the side, almost childishly] [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.] [Cut back to the Pyro's world, "Do You Believe in Magic?" still plays. It is dusk and the Pyro cheerfully walks away from the camera, contraption in hand. A pan out through a torn hole in a BLU Soldier's chest. A spine and various innards are still visible. He groans and falls, his helmet rolls along the ground. The camera backs off, following the helmet and showing the carnage. The town is ruined, burnt to a crisp. The BLU team share the same fate; either burned or chopped into parts. The BLU Heavy still has the Fire Axe embedded in his skull. The Axtinguisher is visible, holding the Sniper's hand in place at the wrist. Parts of buildings collapse.] Pyro: [whistles the first couple of bars to "Do You Believe in Magic?"]

Gallery

• 

  A preview of Meet the Pyro

• 

  Wallpaper.

• 

  The Pyro using the Scorch Shot on a Scout, as seen in the video.

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  The Pyro holding the Scorch Shot.

See also

• Meet the Team